Episode One: The Dan Rydell Show
Scene One: CSC Studios: Jeremy and Dan are going over that night's episode of Sports Night
Jeremy- Should we cut the broadcast to 45 minutes or let it run at the proper time, because at this point, the NBA game is going to run us over.
Dan- I'm not sure right now. Dana wants the show to run full, but according to Isaac, we've got advertisers to worry about.
Dana enters behind Jeremy
Dana- Screw the advertisers. The head of Procter and Gamble was my ex- lover, so I should let it run full to sock it to him.
Dana leaves.
Dan- Well, you heard the woman. Let's start the show! (Pauses) Where's Casey?
Natalie enters
Natalie- He's on assignment in Montreal
Dan- Montreal? I thought it was Bermuda?
Natalie- It was supposed to be Bermuda, but then again, we have a budget.
Scene Two: Montreal: Casey is at his hotel room watching a hockey game, where a fight is going on.
Casey- It's official. I love Canada.
The doorbell rings. It's room service
Room Service Guy- Room service!
Casey gets up and opens the door.
Casey- Where's the turkey?
Room Service Guy- (In a French Accent) Right here. I have to go. I'm going to miss "Anne Murray Live in Vancouver".
Casey- What's up with you guys and Anne Murray?
Room Service Guy- It's the only thing that the Bloc Quebecois doesn't hate.
Casey- Bye.
Room Service Guy leaves. Casey closes the door, turns off the TV, and goes to bed in a tuxedo.
Scene Three: Isaac's Office: Isaac and Dan are talking about his nerves hosting solo
Dan- I'm really nervous about this. I'm always used to Casey being next to me for everything.
Isaac- Even sex?
Dan- Not that way! Natalie and Dana and Jeremy have really been good to me these past few days. If it weren't for the fact that the show's been pre- empted due to that telethon over the weekend, I would be in Montreal, pulling Casey from his pretty boy hairs and dragging him here just in time for airdate.
Isaac- That's quite the description, sir. If I were you, I would do one thing and one thing only.
Dan- What's that?
Isaac- I would be one with the camera and really focus yourself to that little glass screen. That little glass screen you're staring at is looking at six million viewers expecting you to be at your best tonight and every night at eleven, barring telethons and overruns. Now go over there, and show them what you've got.
Scene Five: Monreal: Casey is going to interview Sanique, a one-named French-Canadian ice skating wonder who is a favorite to win gold at the Winter Olympics
Casey- How's training going?
Sanique- (In a French accent) I haven't been training. I've been protesting the Bloc Quebecois and watching reruns of "Degrassi High".
Casey- Why have you been protesting a conservative French party instead of training for what could be the most important experience of your career?
Sanique- Because it is the right thing to do.
Casey- Is it true that you are having an affair with your married trainer, who is 30 years your senior?
Sanique- (Disgusted) No! He is greasy and has back hair and wears a really bad toupee. I would rather date Jean Chretien!
Casey- (Sarcastically) Well, that sets the record straight!
Sanique begins to curse in French before slapping him.
Scene Six: CSC Studios: Sportsnight is about to begin
Dan- Hello, I'm Dan Rydell. Casey McCall is on assignment tonight. In not much of a surprise, one of the US's favorites in water polo has been suspected of doping. Natalie Herman is currently on leave from the team as the IOC is investigating the matter. This just in; we have word that the four-hour match between the Yankees and the Dodgers as gone into its thirteenth inning. If this is any precaution, this could be longer than watching "Ben-Hur" fourteen times.
END
Scene One: CSC Studios: Jeremy and Dan are going over that night's episode of Sports Night
Jeremy- Should we cut the broadcast to 45 minutes or let it run at the proper time, because at this point, the NBA game is going to run us over.
Dan- I'm not sure right now. Dana wants the show to run full, but according to Isaac, we've got advertisers to worry about.
Dana enters behind Jeremy
Dana- Screw the advertisers. The head of Procter and Gamble was my ex- lover, so I should let it run full to sock it to him.
Dana leaves.
Dan- Well, you heard the woman. Let's start the show! (Pauses) Where's Casey?
Natalie enters
Natalie- He's on assignment in Montreal
Dan- Montreal? I thought it was Bermuda?
Natalie- It was supposed to be Bermuda, but then again, we have a budget.
Scene Two: Montreal: Casey is at his hotel room watching a hockey game, where a fight is going on.
Casey- It's official. I love Canada.
The doorbell rings. It's room service
Room Service Guy- Room service!
Casey gets up and opens the door.
Casey- Where's the turkey?
Room Service Guy- (In a French Accent) Right here. I have to go. I'm going to miss "Anne Murray Live in Vancouver".
Casey- What's up with you guys and Anne Murray?
Room Service Guy- It's the only thing that the Bloc Quebecois doesn't hate.
Casey- Bye.
Room Service Guy leaves. Casey closes the door, turns off the TV, and goes to bed in a tuxedo.
Scene Three: Isaac's Office: Isaac and Dan are talking about his nerves hosting solo
Dan- I'm really nervous about this. I'm always used to Casey being next to me for everything.
Isaac- Even sex?
Dan- Not that way! Natalie and Dana and Jeremy have really been good to me these past few days. If it weren't for the fact that the show's been pre- empted due to that telethon over the weekend, I would be in Montreal, pulling Casey from his pretty boy hairs and dragging him here just in time for airdate.
Isaac- That's quite the description, sir. If I were you, I would do one thing and one thing only.
Dan- What's that?
Isaac- I would be one with the camera and really focus yourself to that little glass screen. That little glass screen you're staring at is looking at six million viewers expecting you to be at your best tonight and every night at eleven, barring telethons and overruns. Now go over there, and show them what you've got.
Scene Five: Monreal: Casey is going to interview Sanique, a one-named French-Canadian ice skating wonder who is a favorite to win gold at the Winter Olympics
Casey- How's training going?
Sanique- (In a French accent) I haven't been training. I've been protesting the Bloc Quebecois and watching reruns of "Degrassi High".
Casey- Why have you been protesting a conservative French party instead of training for what could be the most important experience of your career?
Sanique- Because it is the right thing to do.
Casey- Is it true that you are having an affair with your married trainer, who is 30 years your senior?
Sanique- (Disgusted) No! He is greasy and has back hair and wears a really bad toupee. I would rather date Jean Chretien!
Casey- (Sarcastically) Well, that sets the record straight!
Sanique begins to curse in French before slapping him.
Scene Six: CSC Studios: Sportsnight is about to begin
Dan- Hello, I'm Dan Rydell. Casey McCall is on assignment tonight. In not much of a surprise, one of the US's favorites in water polo has been suspected of doping. Natalie Herman is currently on leave from the team as the IOC is investigating the matter. This just in; we have word that the four-hour match between the Yankees and the Dodgers as gone into its thirteenth inning. If this is any precaution, this could be longer than watching "Ben-Hur" fourteen times.
END