Episode Two: Going South
Scene One: CSC Studios: Dan and Casey are discussing Casey's trip to Montreal
Dan- How was Canada?
Casey- A little bit of the good and a little bit of the bad.
Dan- What was the good?
Casey- Hockey fights, semi-nudity on television, and great food.
Dan- The bad things?
Casey- Anne Murray, one named ice skating virtuosos, the Bloc Quebecois, and room service.
Dan- Wouldn't great food and room service be connected?
Casey- Well, they did offer endless "SCTV" tapes.
Scene Two: Isaac's office: Dana and Isaac talk about expansion.
Isaac- I just talked to the people at Starlight Cable. They've offered us a spot on there sports package and I've accepted.
Dana- Are you sure you want to do this?
Isaac- Yes, yes I do.
Dana- How far do we reach now?
Isaac- All of the US, northern Mexico, and British Columbia.
Dana- The only people who will understand and sit through this IS British Columbia, so I understand why you expanded to there.
Isaac- I'm taking Dan and Casey to Texas next week for promotion.
Dana- What? We have three big shows next week.
Isaac- We could get Natalie and Jeremy to do the shows.
Dana- Natalie and Jeremy?! They have as much experience as rabbits on crack!
Isaac- I'll have them do the tiny one-minute updates today.
Dana- Ok, but if they blow, I'll get the people at WKJF and ask for their guys.
Isaac- Deal.
Scene Three: CSC Studios: Natalie and Jeremy are doing the one-minute newscast
Natalie- This is Natalie Hurley, and next to me is Jeremy Goodwin. Los Angeles Superstars point guard LaTavius Henderson was arrested after protesting his mother's conviction for attempted homicide.
Jeremy- Police set bail at $25,000, which was paid out by coach Gerry Howard. Henderson published a statement saying, "The reason why I was arrested is possibly the most ridiculous thing the police could have ever done. I am innocent." More news at 30 to the hour.
Director- And cut!
Dana enters, shocked.
Dana- This is fabulous! Where has this talent been hidden in?
Natalie- My uterus.
Scene Four: Texas: Dan and Casey are at a chili cookout, promoting CSC
Cowboy Tim- I'd like to welcome y'all to our special event. Our guests are Casey McCall and Dan Rydell, on-air personalities of CSC, our new channel on Starlight Cable channel 297.
The crowd applauds.
Casey- Thanks for the invitation. This chili is very good, the best chili in the whole wide world.
Dan- It really is. The housewives' time and effort is obviously showing in this culinary work of art that is unbeatable.
Casey- Enough with the chili. I'd like to talk to you about the programming on CSC. Our program, "Sportsnight", is the highest rated sports program in the northeast. And we have the rights to all the hockey, basketball, and polo you want.
Dan- Watch CSC. You won't regret it!
The crowd mildly applauds
Scene Five: CSC Studios: Natalie and Jeremy ready "Sportsnight"
Natalie- This is not Casey McCall.
Jeremy- And this could be Dan Rydell. As you just saw here on CSC, the Los Angeles Superstars overcame the loss of LaTavius Henderson to a court hearing to beat the Minneapolis Blizzard 98-95.
Scene Six: Texas: Casey and Dan are watching the show
Casey- This could be better than I thought.
Dan- It may be, it may be not. Speaking of better than I thought, I didn't know Jeremy could perform that good.
Casey- Neither did I, neither did I.
Scene One: CSC Studios: Dan and Casey are discussing Casey's trip to Montreal
Dan- How was Canada?
Casey- A little bit of the good and a little bit of the bad.
Dan- What was the good?
Casey- Hockey fights, semi-nudity on television, and great food.
Dan- The bad things?
Casey- Anne Murray, one named ice skating virtuosos, the Bloc Quebecois, and room service.
Dan- Wouldn't great food and room service be connected?
Casey- Well, they did offer endless "SCTV" tapes.
Scene Two: Isaac's office: Dana and Isaac talk about expansion.
Isaac- I just talked to the people at Starlight Cable. They've offered us a spot on there sports package and I've accepted.
Dana- Are you sure you want to do this?
Isaac- Yes, yes I do.
Dana- How far do we reach now?
Isaac- All of the US, northern Mexico, and British Columbia.
Dana- The only people who will understand and sit through this IS British Columbia, so I understand why you expanded to there.
Isaac- I'm taking Dan and Casey to Texas next week for promotion.
Dana- What? We have three big shows next week.
Isaac- We could get Natalie and Jeremy to do the shows.
Dana- Natalie and Jeremy?! They have as much experience as rabbits on crack!
Isaac- I'll have them do the tiny one-minute updates today.
Dana- Ok, but if they blow, I'll get the people at WKJF and ask for their guys.
Isaac- Deal.
Scene Three: CSC Studios: Natalie and Jeremy are doing the one-minute newscast
Natalie- This is Natalie Hurley, and next to me is Jeremy Goodwin. Los Angeles Superstars point guard LaTavius Henderson was arrested after protesting his mother's conviction for attempted homicide.
Jeremy- Police set bail at $25,000, which was paid out by coach Gerry Howard. Henderson published a statement saying, "The reason why I was arrested is possibly the most ridiculous thing the police could have ever done. I am innocent." More news at 30 to the hour.
Director- And cut!
Dana enters, shocked.
Dana- This is fabulous! Where has this talent been hidden in?
Natalie- My uterus.
Scene Four: Texas: Dan and Casey are at a chili cookout, promoting CSC
Cowboy Tim- I'd like to welcome y'all to our special event. Our guests are Casey McCall and Dan Rydell, on-air personalities of CSC, our new channel on Starlight Cable channel 297.
The crowd applauds.
Casey- Thanks for the invitation. This chili is very good, the best chili in the whole wide world.
Dan- It really is. The housewives' time and effort is obviously showing in this culinary work of art that is unbeatable.
Casey- Enough with the chili. I'd like to talk to you about the programming on CSC. Our program, "Sportsnight", is the highest rated sports program in the northeast. And we have the rights to all the hockey, basketball, and polo you want.
Dan- Watch CSC. You won't regret it!
The crowd mildly applauds
Scene Five: CSC Studios: Natalie and Jeremy ready "Sportsnight"
Natalie- This is not Casey McCall.
Jeremy- And this could be Dan Rydell. As you just saw here on CSC, the Los Angeles Superstars overcame the loss of LaTavius Henderson to a court hearing to beat the Minneapolis Blizzard 98-95.
Scene Six: Texas: Casey and Dan are watching the show
Casey- This could be better than I thought.
Dan- It may be, it may be not. Speaking of better than I thought, I didn't know Jeremy could perform that good.
Casey- Neither did I, neither did I.