Silence.
Well actually not really because Susan's with me and i'm crying. Again.
I've never broken down like this before in front of anyone, well apart from
carter....
"It's okay" Susan coo's rubbing my arm. I sniff i've gotta tell someone I have to.... this is killing me. "Sus i'm so sorry" I sob "Why? You shouldn't be, just take your time"
She offers me a tissue from the box on the floor i've had there for certain moments i've had all week. "You shouldn't have to put up with my problems" dammit Abby I thought you were going to tell her?! "Ab, you've got to tell someone you'll make your self ill."
Good old Susan making a good reason why I should. We sit in silence for a few moments while I gather my feelings all together and stare at the wall.
"It's stupid, I should forget and move on with my life I should go out have fun with my friends... I mean friends come before boyfriends huh?" I almost manage a small smile.
Susan smiles back at me lost for words.
"It's all right to cry ab, sometimes it's the only thing we can do... and anyway everyone has a time where they 'mourn' so to speak after the other half" "But no..........no I don't know if he dumped me or not he didn't say it as if he did, but I keep playing that moment in head over and over again and it comes clearer every time, he did dump me" "Look, maybe you two need some time away from each other..."
I think about that...really I do need to move on, he has...why shouldn't I?
"I just can get over the fact he wasn't going to tell me" I blow my nose, wiping the last of my tears away with the back of my hand. " Look even carter can be a jerk sometimes, all men are" Susan has to laugh at this and I cant help joining in, its pathetic, what she said wasn't even funny.
But even though i've only told her half of my problems I feel so much better and this laughing is contagious.
"But when he comes home what the hell am I going to do?" I ask my laughing suddenly disappearing
"Tell him how you feel sort it out" Susan offers he smile fading too. "Mmm" I mumble getting up and going to the kitchen
Yeah, its all very well I think, saying talk sort it out but I know us, I know that an adult mature conversation with us will turn into a blazing row, him or I walking out, or on the other hand I'll totally say something wrong, the first thing that comes into my head and then ill blow it all. A fresh tear falls down my cheek. I wish sometimes I'd let my heart do the talking not my mind. Because I know what my heart wants and has always wanted. But I may never get it...
"But i'm sure even if you both have a period apart you two wont be able to stay away from each other, and I know that because you've done it before and you'll do it again" Susan says from the couch breaking me from my thoughts as I sniff quietly.
"Yeah" I smile going back to her with a glass of water "But do you think he'll let me ever love him again?" I almost whisper that's probably the first time i've ever said to anyone that I love him. "Yes" Susan says confidently "I'm sure it will turn out fine okay and you two will be that sickenly happy couple that both used to be" she adds. "Yea" I whisper tracing the rim of the glass with my finger
We sit in a friendly silence for a moment when suddenly Susan gets up and collects the pizza boxes from the floor and takes them to the bin. "I better make a move" she's says ejecting the tape from the machine. I look at my watch...crap, its quarter to midnight! "Oh god are you working tomorrow?" "Yea, but not till, twelve so its not so bad" "Well at least you get a lie in i'm on at 9" "Oh dear" Susan smiles getting her coat from the stand by the door I get up and follow her to the door "Thanks" "That's okay" "No really Susan, what I just told you, I didn't mean to weigh it down on someone else but I needed to do that, that's only half of my problems at the moment but thanks so much"
I notice that she's glancing at me in a slightly weird way, but I go to hug her and she hugs me back. "Anytime" she says over my shoulder " Just come to me when you need to that's what i'm here for" "I will," I say breaking free and moving to open the door "Take care of yourself okay?" she adds standing at the doorframe "Susan, don't you worry about me ill be fine" She looks at me as if to say 'or-else' "I'll see you tomorrow" "Bye" "Bye" I lean against the doorframe myself and watch her go down the stairs into the night the cool breeze from downstairs rushing up to meet me.
I turn on my heel and head back inside slamming the door I suddenly feel deflated, like the little bubble I was being cheered up by with Susan, has been burst and i've returned to reality. I walk through to my room and sit cross-legged on my bed burying my head in my hands, raking them trough my hair I rest them on my chin, I sigh.
"I needed to do that, that's only half of my problems at the moment but thanks so much"
I replay that sentence in my head...
Only half my problems........
The other half is staring me straight in the face, but i'm just to damn scared to admit it...
A/N. Third part of Glass! Hope your enjoying! I'd like to give a HUGE shout- out to my bezzie mate LEX-M!!! You're a star! And thanks so much for your suggestions that helped me with this chapter! You rock! Also I would to thank MANDI, NIKKI, TRACEY and MBERGER88, because you guys are my amazing reviewers! You give me inspiration to carry this story on THANK YOU! So if you want to be an 'amazing reviewer' you know just what to do!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!
"It's okay" Susan coo's rubbing my arm. I sniff i've gotta tell someone I have to.... this is killing me. "Sus i'm so sorry" I sob "Why? You shouldn't be, just take your time"
She offers me a tissue from the box on the floor i've had there for certain moments i've had all week. "You shouldn't have to put up with my problems" dammit Abby I thought you were going to tell her?! "Ab, you've got to tell someone you'll make your self ill."
Good old Susan making a good reason why I should. We sit in silence for a few moments while I gather my feelings all together and stare at the wall.
"It's stupid, I should forget and move on with my life I should go out have fun with my friends... I mean friends come before boyfriends huh?" I almost manage a small smile.
Susan smiles back at me lost for words.
"It's all right to cry ab, sometimes it's the only thing we can do... and anyway everyone has a time where they 'mourn' so to speak after the other half" "But no..........no I don't know if he dumped me or not he didn't say it as if he did, but I keep playing that moment in head over and over again and it comes clearer every time, he did dump me" "Look, maybe you two need some time away from each other..."
I think about that...really I do need to move on, he has...why shouldn't I?
"I just can get over the fact he wasn't going to tell me" I blow my nose, wiping the last of my tears away with the back of my hand. " Look even carter can be a jerk sometimes, all men are" Susan has to laugh at this and I cant help joining in, its pathetic, what she said wasn't even funny.
But even though i've only told her half of my problems I feel so much better and this laughing is contagious.
"But when he comes home what the hell am I going to do?" I ask my laughing suddenly disappearing
"Tell him how you feel sort it out" Susan offers he smile fading too. "Mmm" I mumble getting up and going to the kitchen
Yeah, its all very well I think, saying talk sort it out but I know us, I know that an adult mature conversation with us will turn into a blazing row, him or I walking out, or on the other hand I'll totally say something wrong, the first thing that comes into my head and then ill blow it all. A fresh tear falls down my cheek. I wish sometimes I'd let my heart do the talking not my mind. Because I know what my heart wants and has always wanted. But I may never get it...
"But i'm sure even if you both have a period apart you two wont be able to stay away from each other, and I know that because you've done it before and you'll do it again" Susan says from the couch breaking me from my thoughts as I sniff quietly.
"Yeah" I smile going back to her with a glass of water "But do you think he'll let me ever love him again?" I almost whisper that's probably the first time i've ever said to anyone that I love him. "Yes" Susan says confidently "I'm sure it will turn out fine okay and you two will be that sickenly happy couple that both used to be" she adds. "Yea" I whisper tracing the rim of the glass with my finger
We sit in a friendly silence for a moment when suddenly Susan gets up and collects the pizza boxes from the floor and takes them to the bin. "I better make a move" she's says ejecting the tape from the machine. I look at my watch...crap, its quarter to midnight! "Oh god are you working tomorrow?" "Yea, but not till, twelve so its not so bad" "Well at least you get a lie in i'm on at 9" "Oh dear" Susan smiles getting her coat from the stand by the door I get up and follow her to the door "Thanks" "That's okay" "No really Susan, what I just told you, I didn't mean to weigh it down on someone else but I needed to do that, that's only half of my problems at the moment but thanks so much"
I notice that she's glancing at me in a slightly weird way, but I go to hug her and she hugs me back. "Anytime" she says over my shoulder " Just come to me when you need to that's what i'm here for" "I will," I say breaking free and moving to open the door "Take care of yourself okay?" she adds standing at the doorframe "Susan, don't you worry about me ill be fine" She looks at me as if to say 'or-else' "I'll see you tomorrow" "Bye" "Bye" I lean against the doorframe myself and watch her go down the stairs into the night the cool breeze from downstairs rushing up to meet me.
I turn on my heel and head back inside slamming the door I suddenly feel deflated, like the little bubble I was being cheered up by with Susan, has been burst and i've returned to reality. I walk through to my room and sit cross-legged on my bed burying my head in my hands, raking them trough my hair I rest them on my chin, I sigh.
"I needed to do that, that's only half of my problems at the moment but thanks so much"
I replay that sentence in my head...
Only half my problems........
The other half is staring me straight in the face, but i'm just to damn scared to admit it...
A/N. Third part of Glass! Hope your enjoying! I'd like to give a HUGE shout- out to my bezzie mate LEX-M!!! You're a star! And thanks so much for your suggestions that helped me with this chapter! You rock! Also I would to thank MANDI, NIKKI, TRACEY and MBERGER88, because you guys are my amazing reviewers! You give me inspiration to carry this story on THANK YOU! So if you want to be an 'amazing reviewer' you know just what to do!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!