A/N: YO dudes! It's me again with my fic Glass!!!!! I hope this is still
going okay and everyone is enjoying, I may be using every single fic
cliché, espesh in this chappie, BUT its my fic, and although I didn't plan
how it was going to go, and actually I had no idea were it was going to go,
you reviewers gave me some ideas, and if that's what you want to read well,
that's what you'll get. But I want to know also if your not enjoying it, I
LOVE constructive crit! The next chapter may not come so quick foe a while
(I've got into a nice writing frame of mind at the mo that's gonna have to
be put to rest for a bit!AAARRGGHH!!! I need to write more!!!!!,) i'm away
for the next week, but I promise when i'm back you'll get more! So please
REVIEW that's what gives me the inspiration to keep going, without the
reviews you would get no story so please, please PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!
DISCLAIMER: Do you no what the whole cast are crammed into my closet yelling at me to let them out but i'm not gonna!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!! (Evil laugh...or maybe not) OKAY OKAY TPTB are on the phone...yes you can have them back............do you really think id have them???!!!!!! In ya dreams girl in ya dreams!!!!!!!!
P.S The song used is by the BEAUTIFUL, CONFUSING, ILLOGICAL, AMAZING LIFEHOUSE!!! The song is 'The beginning' THIS BAND ROCKS!!!!
Now ill let you read in peace.... enjoy folks!
Abby Lockheart.Abby Wysenski.Ab.Nurse They all mean one thing, Abby. She's my friend, we have been for about 3 years now and only relatively recently has our friendship has become more. And right now I know something is totally wrong with her. I went to see her last might. Well I kind of forced myself to go round for movies, pizza and a chat. The 'chat' being the most important thing I was planning on doing.
Since cater left for the Congo, I knew something was up. She came in to work that night totally pissed. And no I don't mean in the alcoholic way just pissed off with everyone, everything. I've tried to get through to her since then and all I got was the usual abby response of 'I'm fine'. Which even Chen and chuny have been noticing- infact most of her colleges have been wondering about how she really is inside.
So last night I managed to get it out of her I wasn't gonna leave without hearing the truth from her. And I think she realised that in the end she needed to tell someone, I mean she told me that herself. I actually managed to get her to tell what was wrong. Carter. I mean I knew it was going to be Carter but when it comes to this couple it's always something complicated, it can never be simple with them. She told me how she feels, I told her what I think she should do but the thing that is nagging at me is one of the last things she said to me.
"That's only half my problems..."
Half. Half of a whole. Half past six. Half full. There's something else. Something else bothering her. That she couldn't tell me outright. What the hell could it be? She's gone back to drinking? She's met up with someone else? I don't know I'm sure she would of told me, I'm sure, but then again she has her dark moments, and she's going through one of them right now. I'm gonna have to try and help her sort this problem whatever the other part may be, because its only four days till Carter gets back. Four days till she finds out the truth, it sounds dramatic, maybe it is, but I know that neither one of them will come out happy in this. But then maybe the opposite will happen, that they'll sort this out, I hoping they do get back but then again that's my optimistic side coming through!
"Susan what the hell are you doing? Get yourself out here we have a trauma" weaver hollers through the lounge. Okay so i've got caught up in thinking leaning with my chin on my hands on the table staring aimlessly at the door but hey come on even I have my mystical moments!
I haul myself up tiredly and head out, its relatively quiet but this one trauma's come in. I head to trauma one hoping for some easy broken leg or something, but as I look through the glass of the door I notice weaver and haleh looking totally shocked staring at the patient not actually doing anything.
"Hey guys come-on we have a patient," I say bursting in They remain silent, but as I go to the foot of the gurney I have the shock of my life.
"Abby?!"
"Yeah, um right" weaver stutters beginning the procedures, although ab looks pretty unscathed.
"What happened?" I ask moving up to the head of bed.
"Her neighbour found her unconscious in her apartment, she called an ambulance"
"Oh god" I whisper thinking of all the things that could of happened, but the weird thing is that she, apart from being unconcious, looking very pale and has a bruise on her face, looks fine.
"Haleh can you take the blood and all vitals please" I ask hooking ab up to a heart monitor. The machine flashes into life and everything is looking fine, her heart rate is slightly fast but nothing to worry about. And her BP is relatively normal
"Kerry?" I ask
"Yea" she replies lifting abby's shirt to do an ultrasound
"What do you think has happened" okay that was probably the most stupidest thing to say seeing as i'm a doctor and meant to be finding these things out.
"I'm not so sure although I think she's just collapsed from exhaustion."
I nod in agreement, while watching Kerry set up the ultrasound. Seeing there wasn't anything for me to do I looked at the peaceful abby, her blonde hair fanning over the pillow, I take her hand and hold it.
"Ab, what's wrong?..... Come on girl it's gonna be all right, just wake up for us" I whisper. It may sound strange to the onlooker but to me it means a lot.
"Susan" Kerry's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I look round
"She's pregnant"
My jaw drops, I grab the monitor and stare at it. Sure enough there's a tiny baby right there, alive, heartbeat strong totally and completely real. Just at that moment haleh rushes back in with the labs. She sees us staring at the monitor and doesn't ask she simply says.
"8 weeks".
Errggh, my head. I try to open my eyes but they seem glued together. I force them open; the room comes slowly into focus. Shit what am I doing here? I look round and realise I'm in a hospital room in a hospital bed lots of wires attached to my chest and stomach. I try to sit up but my head spins so I flop back down. The last thing I remember getting up this morning and getting ready to come to work. Why am I here?
I close my eyes again this seems all to much to take in. but before I can drift off into a dreamless doze I hear the door suddenly burst open.
"Abby?" I look up as much as my spinning head will allow Susan takes a seat from the corner and brings it up to the bed sitting down. "How are you?"
"I feel like complete crap," I mumble
She smiles looking the other way
"What happened this morning?"
"I don't know" I say truthfully
"Did you have a breakfast?"
I stay silent for a moment
"No"
"Did you eat anything before I came to see you last night?" Susan now looks very serious
Is this some sort of quiz? Do I win some amazing prize at the end? Can't people just understand that I don't want to talk?
"Abs"
"Look Susan why does it matter? Cant I just have something to myself, I don't need to be looked after I can do that myself I don't need some nanny looking after me 24/7 i'm a full grown adult for goodness sake" I close my eyes realising that I just yelled at Susan. But what the hell i'm not some untouchable vase.
"Abby, the reason you should be eating and the reason i'm so worried about yourself is because you should be looking after yourself and I know your not, and you need to be looking after yourself now even more so because......, because your pregnant"
Susan finishes but she whispers the last bit staring at the floor.
I keep my eyes closed they burn and a single tear manages to find its way out. I bring my hand to my face trying to shield it from her view. But all of a sudden I can't control myself anymore. I cry, and this isn't like the quiet sobs I had last night, this is me crying out all my feelings.
Susan stands up and comes to hug me but I swat her arms away and turn over away from her, I don't want to talk I don't want to be seen. I want to wake up and find out that this is all some crazy dream and this isn't real that i'm at home in curled up on the sofa in the arms of carter. No. No.NO!
When I wake again the room is dark all apart from the little lamp on the wall beside me. I'm still at county; i'm still in this bed. But Susan's gone or at least I think she is. "Your all right now?" she smiles coming in, in your 'normal' clothes she must of finished her shift and come to see me.
"Yea"i mumble.
She sits next to me again in exactly the same place.
"I thought I better come by and check on you and say sorry"
"Sus"i protest
"No I was wrong to say what I said"
"I was the one who yelled" I almost smile
"But really I was in doctor mode not Susan mode" she smiles at me
"I was you patient," I add
"Yea but your my friend and I wa...." P "Sus just shut up," I laugh
"This argument could go on forever!"
"Yea" she laughs looking away
"I knew" I say after a pause
"Knew what?" she looks back looking blank
"That I was pregnant," I say, serious now
"Why didn't you say?"
" I was scared, in fact I still am" my hands are now suddenly very interesting
"Don't be" she sympathises placing her hand on my arm
"But you're not the girl who has a crazy bi--polar family, a recovering alcoholic, a smoker and a non-existent boyfriend who happens to be the father of this child."
"Carter?"
"Come on it isn't going to be someone else is it?" I deadpan
"No I spose not" she says to the floor
"You keeping the child?" she asks
"Yes" I say immediately
"Look it will be fine" Susan smiles, I think she realises how frightened I am.
"Mmm" I mumble sighing
" Can I go home?"
"I can't see why not just as long as you eat something" she gives me a playful nudge
"Look, I didn't eat because I've been so down i've tried everything to block out this crap over carter okay and when I found out I was pregnant I stopped eating altogether, why I don't know, I knew it was wrong but my mind was on other things and eating was the last thing in my list of things to do. But I promise you everything I will eat okay?" I say but kind of jumbled and fast.
She seems satisfied with that she gives me a knowing smile and gets up and grabs the chart from the end of the gurney and signs it.
"Your free" she declares smiling
"You want to lift home?" she adds
"Please" I say getting up
"But some clothes would be nice" I say looking at this horrid gown they've put me in.yuk!
After Susan found my clothes and allowed me to get changed, and I got my prescriptions and other things we managed to escape the ER getting unnoticed by any of the usual 'gang'.
We head out to her car and get in. we sit their for a while she starts the engine, she fiddles with the radio tuner and comes up with a random station...
"Tainted has our love grown cold/in a place that's bitter an broken/tasted of a world i know/Surely there must be something better/something forever"
She begins to drive out of the parking lot.
" I like this song" she states
"Do you ever think we'll get back together?" I say totally out of the blue
"Me?" she asks stupidly I don't reply
"Do you think we'll get past this bad patch?" I look down at my hand on my stomach.
"We painted whitewashed everything/when all that remains is shadows of the stains/tell me where did we go wrong/can we just move on"
"Yes I think you will," she says confidently
I know we've had this conversation before, but I just ant to be reminded that someday we might just get back together whether it's tomorrow, next week or in 20 years time. I don't think ill ever be able to love someone in the same way again.
DISCLAIMER: Do you no what the whole cast are crammed into my closet yelling at me to let them out but i'm not gonna!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!! (Evil laugh...or maybe not) OKAY OKAY TPTB are on the phone...yes you can have them back............do you really think id have them???!!!!!! In ya dreams girl in ya dreams!!!!!!!!
P.S The song used is by the BEAUTIFUL, CONFUSING, ILLOGICAL, AMAZING LIFEHOUSE!!! The song is 'The beginning' THIS BAND ROCKS!!!!
Now ill let you read in peace.... enjoy folks!
Abby Lockheart.Abby Wysenski.Ab.Nurse They all mean one thing, Abby. She's my friend, we have been for about 3 years now and only relatively recently has our friendship has become more. And right now I know something is totally wrong with her. I went to see her last might. Well I kind of forced myself to go round for movies, pizza and a chat. The 'chat' being the most important thing I was planning on doing.
Since cater left for the Congo, I knew something was up. She came in to work that night totally pissed. And no I don't mean in the alcoholic way just pissed off with everyone, everything. I've tried to get through to her since then and all I got was the usual abby response of 'I'm fine'. Which even Chen and chuny have been noticing- infact most of her colleges have been wondering about how she really is inside.
So last night I managed to get it out of her I wasn't gonna leave without hearing the truth from her. And I think she realised that in the end she needed to tell someone, I mean she told me that herself. I actually managed to get her to tell what was wrong. Carter. I mean I knew it was going to be Carter but when it comes to this couple it's always something complicated, it can never be simple with them. She told me how she feels, I told her what I think she should do but the thing that is nagging at me is one of the last things she said to me.
"That's only half my problems..."
Half. Half of a whole. Half past six. Half full. There's something else. Something else bothering her. That she couldn't tell me outright. What the hell could it be? She's gone back to drinking? She's met up with someone else? I don't know I'm sure she would of told me, I'm sure, but then again she has her dark moments, and she's going through one of them right now. I'm gonna have to try and help her sort this problem whatever the other part may be, because its only four days till Carter gets back. Four days till she finds out the truth, it sounds dramatic, maybe it is, but I know that neither one of them will come out happy in this. But then maybe the opposite will happen, that they'll sort this out, I hoping they do get back but then again that's my optimistic side coming through!
"Susan what the hell are you doing? Get yourself out here we have a trauma" weaver hollers through the lounge. Okay so i've got caught up in thinking leaning with my chin on my hands on the table staring aimlessly at the door but hey come on even I have my mystical moments!
I haul myself up tiredly and head out, its relatively quiet but this one trauma's come in. I head to trauma one hoping for some easy broken leg or something, but as I look through the glass of the door I notice weaver and haleh looking totally shocked staring at the patient not actually doing anything.
"Hey guys come-on we have a patient," I say bursting in They remain silent, but as I go to the foot of the gurney I have the shock of my life.
"Abby?!"
"Yeah, um right" weaver stutters beginning the procedures, although ab looks pretty unscathed.
"What happened?" I ask moving up to the head of bed.
"Her neighbour found her unconscious in her apartment, she called an ambulance"
"Oh god" I whisper thinking of all the things that could of happened, but the weird thing is that she, apart from being unconcious, looking very pale and has a bruise on her face, looks fine.
"Haleh can you take the blood and all vitals please" I ask hooking ab up to a heart monitor. The machine flashes into life and everything is looking fine, her heart rate is slightly fast but nothing to worry about. And her BP is relatively normal
"Kerry?" I ask
"Yea" she replies lifting abby's shirt to do an ultrasound
"What do you think has happened" okay that was probably the most stupidest thing to say seeing as i'm a doctor and meant to be finding these things out.
"I'm not so sure although I think she's just collapsed from exhaustion."
I nod in agreement, while watching Kerry set up the ultrasound. Seeing there wasn't anything for me to do I looked at the peaceful abby, her blonde hair fanning over the pillow, I take her hand and hold it.
"Ab, what's wrong?..... Come on girl it's gonna be all right, just wake up for us" I whisper. It may sound strange to the onlooker but to me it means a lot.
"Susan" Kerry's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I look round
"She's pregnant"
My jaw drops, I grab the monitor and stare at it. Sure enough there's a tiny baby right there, alive, heartbeat strong totally and completely real. Just at that moment haleh rushes back in with the labs. She sees us staring at the monitor and doesn't ask she simply says.
"8 weeks".
Errggh, my head. I try to open my eyes but they seem glued together. I force them open; the room comes slowly into focus. Shit what am I doing here? I look round and realise I'm in a hospital room in a hospital bed lots of wires attached to my chest and stomach. I try to sit up but my head spins so I flop back down. The last thing I remember getting up this morning and getting ready to come to work. Why am I here?
I close my eyes again this seems all to much to take in. but before I can drift off into a dreamless doze I hear the door suddenly burst open.
"Abby?" I look up as much as my spinning head will allow Susan takes a seat from the corner and brings it up to the bed sitting down. "How are you?"
"I feel like complete crap," I mumble
She smiles looking the other way
"What happened this morning?"
"I don't know" I say truthfully
"Did you have a breakfast?"
I stay silent for a moment
"No"
"Did you eat anything before I came to see you last night?" Susan now looks very serious
Is this some sort of quiz? Do I win some amazing prize at the end? Can't people just understand that I don't want to talk?
"Abs"
"Look Susan why does it matter? Cant I just have something to myself, I don't need to be looked after I can do that myself I don't need some nanny looking after me 24/7 i'm a full grown adult for goodness sake" I close my eyes realising that I just yelled at Susan. But what the hell i'm not some untouchable vase.
"Abby, the reason you should be eating and the reason i'm so worried about yourself is because you should be looking after yourself and I know your not, and you need to be looking after yourself now even more so because......, because your pregnant"
Susan finishes but she whispers the last bit staring at the floor.
I keep my eyes closed they burn and a single tear manages to find its way out. I bring my hand to my face trying to shield it from her view. But all of a sudden I can't control myself anymore. I cry, and this isn't like the quiet sobs I had last night, this is me crying out all my feelings.
Susan stands up and comes to hug me but I swat her arms away and turn over away from her, I don't want to talk I don't want to be seen. I want to wake up and find out that this is all some crazy dream and this isn't real that i'm at home in curled up on the sofa in the arms of carter. No. No.NO!
When I wake again the room is dark all apart from the little lamp on the wall beside me. I'm still at county; i'm still in this bed. But Susan's gone or at least I think she is. "Your all right now?" she smiles coming in, in your 'normal' clothes she must of finished her shift and come to see me.
"Yea"i mumble.
She sits next to me again in exactly the same place.
"I thought I better come by and check on you and say sorry"
"Sus"i protest
"No I was wrong to say what I said"
"I was the one who yelled" I almost smile
"But really I was in doctor mode not Susan mode" she smiles at me
"I was you patient," I add
"Yea but your my friend and I wa...." P "Sus just shut up," I laugh
"This argument could go on forever!"
"Yea" she laughs looking away
"I knew" I say after a pause
"Knew what?" she looks back looking blank
"That I was pregnant," I say, serious now
"Why didn't you say?"
" I was scared, in fact I still am" my hands are now suddenly very interesting
"Don't be" she sympathises placing her hand on my arm
"But you're not the girl who has a crazy bi--polar family, a recovering alcoholic, a smoker and a non-existent boyfriend who happens to be the father of this child."
"Carter?"
"Come on it isn't going to be someone else is it?" I deadpan
"No I spose not" she says to the floor
"You keeping the child?" she asks
"Yes" I say immediately
"Look it will be fine" Susan smiles, I think she realises how frightened I am.
"Mmm" I mumble sighing
" Can I go home?"
"I can't see why not just as long as you eat something" she gives me a playful nudge
"Look, I didn't eat because I've been so down i've tried everything to block out this crap over carter okay and when I found out I was pregnant I stopped eating altogether, why I don't know, I knew it was wrong but my mind was on other things and eating was the last thing in my list of things to do. But I promise you everything I will eat okay?" I say but kind of jumbled and fast.
She seems satisfied with that she gives me a knowing smile and gets up and grabs the chart from the end of the gurney and signs it.
"Your free" she declares smiling
"You want to lift home?" she adds
"Please" I say getting up
"But some clothes would be nice" I say looking at this horrid gown they've put me in.yuk!
After Susan found my clothes and allowed me to get changed, and I got my prescriptions and other things we managed to escape the ER getting unnoticed by any of the usual 'gang'.
We head out to her car and get in. we sit their for a while she starts the engine, she fiddles with the radio tuner and comes up with a random station...
"Tainted has our love grown cold/in a place that's bitter an broken/tasted of a world i know/Surely there must be something better/something forever"
She begins to drive out of the parking lot.
" I like this song" she states
"Do you ever think we'll get back together?" I say totally out of the blue
"Me?" she asks stupidly I don't reply
"Do you think we'll get past this bad patch?" I look down at my hand on my stomach.
"We painted whitewashed everything/when all that remains is shadows of the stains/tell me where did we go wrong/can we just move on"
"Yes I think you will," she says confidently
I know we've had this conversation before, but I just ant to be reminded that someday we might just get back together whether it's tomorrow, next week or in 20 years time. I don't think ill ever be able to love someone in the same way again.