Chapter Eight: Give It Time

Summary: Eighth chapter. Forty-one to go. That about sums it up.

It took several days for things to settle down at Arabella's house. To Harry it seemed that if Sirius and Arabella weren't arguing over something, they were practically ignoring each other.

Harry had though that living with both his godparents was about as good as life could have offered. Now he wasn't so sure. Arabella was still her cordial self to him, practically smothering him with affection. But Sirius she hardly even acknowledged.

Sirius, on the other hand, seemed to take what was offered. He never imposed himself between Harry and Arabella. Whenever Arabella came into a room, Sirius would only stay a few minutes before leaving, though usually reluctantly. A great deal of his time was spent either in his room or in the small garden out back. To Harry it seemed that he was doing his best to simply be invisible.

Harry had hoped Arabella might take pity on his poor godfather and at least start being a bit kinder to him. But the closest move to being friendly to him she had made all week was when she took him a glass of water while he was working in the garden. And that had consisted of nothing more than her leaving it on the table for him.

Harry had started to think the atmosphere had the makings of a very cold summer for Sirius. But his godfather seemed to take it in stride.

For Harry's part, he tried to understand the situation, but for the life of him, couldn't. Arabella's resolution seemed carved in stone while Sirius continued to do everything he could to make sure she had nothing to find fault with.

At the end of the week, Harry was actually glad to get a visit from Lupin. The main purpose of the visit, of course, was to update Arabella and Sirius on happenings involving Voldemort. But Harry was happy to find himself later that afternoon seated by the small pond in the garden with his favorite one-time teacher.

"So, how is life with your godparents?" Lupin asked with his usual cheerful tone.

Harry sighed and turned to the pond.

"That good?"

"It isn't that it's bad." Harry confided. "I mean, it's really great living with them both now. But it would be even better if they weren't fighting all the time."

"Fighting?"

"Well, not really fighting. More arguing. And that's only when they're in a room together. And that's hardly ever. Sirius is trying like mad to be on his best behavior, and Arabella doesn't even act like she cares. I mean, I thought you said they liked each other."

"Well, I believe my assessment of they're relationship would leave 'like' as a poor description of Sirius' feelings for your godmother, Harry. But he has a few things to make up for."

"Make up for?"

"Yes. As you get older you'll find that there really is no fury like that of a woman scorned...no matter what you did to scorn her or otherwise earn it. And knowing the reason behind this particular scorning, I'd bet Arabella's bent on dishing up a caldron full of retribution for poor Padfoot. But I still stand by my earlier prediction of those two. Give them enough time, they'll sort things out."

"So what's the reason?" Harry asked curiously.

"That would have to come from your godmother, Harry. It's a bit personal, I'm afraid." Lupin replied. "But if it makes you feel any better, your parents weren't much better when they were fighting."

"My mum and dad?"

"Fought like cats and dogs when they really got into it. But two people never loved each other more than James and Lily. And they always made up." Lupin gave Harry a wink. "When you're older, you'll find out that's the best part. Now," He said, giving Harry another smile, "how are things otherwise?"

"Well, you'd never think anything was going on with Voldemort." Harry admitted. "I mean, everything here is so quiet."

"Unfortunately, the only thing I can say to that is give it time, Harry. Voldemort isn't going to sit on his hands forever. And we're certainly not sitting on ours waiting for him. And hopefully when he comes, we'll be ready for him."

Harry sat out by the pond with Lupin for a while, chatting over various subjects with Lupin. But after about an hour Lupin put his nose in the air and sniffed the breeze. "Ah! If I'm not mistaken, that would be your godmother's cooking I smell. Probably time for dinner. Then it's time to head home for me."

"Are you still at your home?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Actually, Harry, I'm staying at the castle right now."

Harry paused as he got to his feet. "Did you have to move because of what I did too?" He asked quietly.

Lupin sighed. He tried to make it a policy not to lie to Harry. "Yes, it is." He answered finally. But added quickly, "But it wasn't really that big of a deal, Harry. I was moving to Hogwarts in a few days anyway. So don't feel bad about it. You made a mistake. We all do. The only time mistakes are truly bad is when you fail to learn anything from them. And I'm willing to bet you've learned a valuable lesson from this one."

Harry nodded solemnly.

"Then it served a purpose. Don't let it keep bothering you. Now come on. Smells like Arabella's made us stew."

*********************

Later that night, long after Harry had gone to bed, Sirius knocked lightly on Arabella's bedroom door to let her know he was also going to bed. It was a small courtesy he followed to let her know that there shouldn't be any further sounds in the house after that.

Knocking lightly on the door a second time, Sirius waited for an answer. When he didn't receive the usual grumbling reply, he carefully pushed the door open and poked his head in.

"Arabella?"

The room was completely dark and the bed still made. Sirius checked his watch. It was long past the time she usually went to bed. Where was she?

Sirius checked the downstairs area again, checking doors and windows for good measure as he went past them. Finally, satisfied she wasn't downstairs, he climbed back up the stairs.

Checking each upstairs room in turn, Sirius began to get a bit more worried when he didn't find her there either. If she had gone out, surely she would have said something to him or Harry. At least left a note. Sirius had just decided to start looking in places Arabella might have left such a note when a noise echoed through the quiet darkness. Sirius tilted his head up.

"What in the name of late night wanderings is she doing in the attic?" He asked himself.

But a sudden thought came to mind as Sirius headed for the stairs to the attic. One that had him pulling his wand out as he reached for the door handle to the stairs.

What if the noise in the attic wasn't Arabella?

What if someone had gotten into the house?

Climbing the dark stairs as silently as he could, Sirius carefully crept to the top of the stairs and looked about.

But what he found in the attic had him more puzzled then if he had found Dumbledore and Snape having tea in the attic. Sitting on the floor, with her back to him, was Arabella. Sirius let out a low sigh. She didn't look like she was in any distress. In fact, she looked like she was just...sitting there.

Sirius crept a bit closer, finally peering over her shoulder.

"Hey!" He stated suddenly, seeing the picture she was holding in her hand. "That's us!"

Most people would likely have jumped halfway to the ceiling. But having been an Auror for so many years, it was nearly impossible to sneak up on Arabella. A slight "Umm." was all Sirius got in reply from her as she continued to sort through the pictures.

Sirius sat down a respectable distance from her as he picked up the picture Arabella had discarded into a box.

"Good Lord, we were a cute couple."

"Were!" Arabella emphasized without looking up at him.

Sirius paused briefly at her tone, then picked up the next picture. "You remember that?" He asked, holding it up for her to see. "That was taken at the Ovelberry Carnival. That was the first place we went together that I asked you out to...officially."

Arabella turned her eyes to him, and Sirius was pleased to see the faintest trace of a smile.

"You asked me too?" She questioned. "You didn't asked me out, Sirius. You had James do it for you."

"Because he was so good at it." Sirius said. "He was already going out with Lily."

"And you had already asked out half the school." Arabella replied. "And the only reason I think you stopped there was because the other half was boys. And I'm not swearing to anything there."

"Never tellin'!" Sirius stated, imitating a spoiled child.

The act earned him a very small laugh as Arabella quickly covered it.

"You were such a coward about it." Arabella said after a moment, still looking through the pictures. "Even after you had already asked out all those other girls."

"More nervous than anything else."

"More 'coward' more likely."

"But you didn't turn James down. Mission accomplished."

"I didn't turn you down. James was just acting the part of your Yenta"

"Well, he did his job well. More than earn..." Sirius stopped suddenly.

Arabella looked up just as abruptly. "Earned?" She asked sharply. "Earned what?"

Sirius only gave her a sheepish look. "My gratitude?" He tried.

But Arabella wasn't buying it. "Did you pay him to ask me out?" She stated indignantly.

"Ummm...would you be mad if I said 'yes'?"

"Depends." Arabella replied seethingly, then continued more slowly. "How much?"

Sirius considered the answer for a few seconds. "Well...three gallons..."

"Three gallons?" Arabella stated angrily.

"...if you turned him down!" Sirius added quickly. "It was five if you accepted."

Arabella considered the upgrade, then went back to her pictures with a stiff air. "You were lucky I never found out."

"Would you have still gone out with me?" Sirius inquired.

Arabella relaxed a little as she browsed the next few pictures. "Probably."

"Why?"

Arabella considered the question for a moment before she turned to look at him. "I guess because...well, you were funny, and...I don't know...,so....playful. You never took things too seriously."

Sirius softened his expression as he looked up at her. "I never took you seriously enough."

Arabella quickly redirected the conversation. "OK. Why me?" She asked.

Sirius pulled back a little as he thought for a second, then leaned back over to her with a playful smile. "Because of all the others, you were the one who acted like you didn't care if I was in a room or not."

"That's it?"

"Nooo....," Sirius stated, still smiling at her. "You were also absolutely gorgeous. You were smart, you were pretty, you were fun, you were pretty, you were breathing, you were pretty."

Arabella favored him with another small smile. "Pretty?"

Sirius looked startled. "I'm sorry. Did I say 'pretty'?'

Arabella gave a slightly longer laugh this time. "You really thought I was pretty?"

"Merlin's beard! Someone's ego needs a good stroking, doesn't it?"

"It's nice to hear every now and then, I suppose."

"All right then. And 'no', I didn't think you were 'pretty'." Sirius stopped her before she could protest. "I thought you were beautiful, stunning, attractive, lovely, striking, radiant, gorgeous...."

"You said 'gorgeous' already."

"So I did. Let me see.....magnificent, poetry in motion, a work of art, a goddess...."

"All right." Arabella stopped him, this time Sirius having earned himself a slight giggle. "I get the picture."

Sirius grinned at her. He was happy to see her mood lightening up some. To see her laugh again. Laying out before him again all the reasons he had fallen in love with her in the first place. "I think I would have chained myself to your dormitory door until you agreed to go out with me."

But Sirius suddenly got the impression Arabella had stopped listening to him just then. Instead she sat silently staring at the next picture in her hand. Looking over, Sirius saw the happy young girl standing next to the much younger version of himself, excitedly waving her engagement ring.

Arabella suddenly seemed to notice as Sirius shifted closer to her, looking at the picture as well. She hurriedly stuffed it, along with the rest of the pictures, back into the box.

"I was just going to put these in the basement." She said, closing the lid on the box.

But Sirius grabbed her arm as she started to get up. "Why don't you want to look at those?" He asked solemnly.

"Because I don't."

"Why?"

"Because their a lie, Sirius." She suddenly answered in a harsh tone, all the playfulness gone now. "A broken promise."

"I didn't lie to you, Arabella."

"You didn't marry me either, Sirius."

Sirius pulled his hand back as though she had slapped it. "I was in Azkaban. What did you want? For me to marry you while I was facing a life sentence? I would never have done that to you, Arabella."

"It didn't matter to me!" She stated resolutely. "I loved you. I would have married you no matter what. And I thought you loved me."

"You thought I loved you? What in the name of heaven suddenly revealed to you I didn't, might I asked? Since I was doing everything I could to prove to you that I did."

Arabella lowered her tone along with her eyes. "You never wrote back."

"Wrote back?"

"When you were....in Azkaban. I wrote to you every day. Sometimes twice a day. For weeks. Months." Arabella's voice lowered a bit more as she fought to get the words out now past her hurt and pain. "You never answered. Not one letter. Not even doing me the courtesy of telling me to stop."

Sirius stared at her. "You wrote to me? While I was in Azkaban?"

Arabella looked up at him, a puzzled stare answering his question.

"'Bella," Sirius stated quietly, "I never got any letters while I was in Azkaban."

Arabella stared back at him. "You must have. I wrote.....heavens, I couldn't even think how many letters to you."

"'Bella. I never got them."

Arabella couldn't think of a thing to say. An awful realization slowly starting to form in her mind. One that was threatening everything she had believed in for the past fourteen years.

"None of them?" She whispered.

Sirius shook his head.

"Then what happened to them?"

Sirius shook his head again. "From what I would guess, my love, I would think you entertained the guards quite a bit. Both in reading them and in the knowledge I would never get them. Subtle torture is an art, I suppose."

Arabella drew back a bit at the way he addressed her. It brought a horrible sadness with it to hear him call her that again. But she quickly distracted herself from it as she thought over the new situation.

"So...you never got any of my letters." Her voice broke off as she thought about that for a moment. "And...so you thought I never wrote."

Sirius said nothing as he watched the emotions playing across her face.

She looked up at him slowly. "And so you sat there...all those years...alone...thinking I had abandon you when you went to prison."

Sirius tried to shrug it off as a casual thing. "Most of the people I knew suddenly had a severe attack of amnesia. And I didn't blame any of them really. I had been labeled a Deatheater. Hardly someone you wanted to associate yourself with at that time." But he stopped as he raised his eyes to meet her's. The hurt in her eyes that he thought such a thing wouldn't allow him to take the easy way out. He shook his head. "No, that isn't entirely true." He said softly. "I figured you were writing. I figured you were writing a lot." He amended with a small, sad smile. Sirius paused for a brief moment. "Arabella, I was in prison. I was there for life." He turned back to her with a pointed stare. "Did you understand that? You had your life in front of you. Mine was over." He turned back to the floor. "What you needed to do was forget me."

Arabella stared at him with tears in her eyes. "And you decided that?" She asked with a edge in her voice suddenly. "You made that decision for me?"

"I did what I thought was best for you."

"You....." But Arabella stopped, unable to find the words for a moment. "I sat...and cried...for nights on end over you. The only consultation I had that you didn't write back was that I thought you were insane! Did you ever have any idea...how much I loved you? Did you ever understand it?"

Sirius turned slowly to face her anger. "Did you?"

Arabella pulled back. "How dare you." She seethed, hissing the words at him past clenched teeth. "How dare you accuse me of not understanding what our love was."

Sirius turned back to the floor again, unable to think of how to answer her. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight with her over this.

"If that was the best answer you had to our situation, Sirius Black, then you never understood how much I loved you."

"And I loved you as well." Sirius answered her accusation quietly. "Too much to ever do that to you."

"And as I said before, and you have now bore out for me," Arabella replied very coolly, "our love was a lie."

"My love was not a lie, Arabella. Nor was that ring or the promise that came with it."

Arabella only stared back at him, the chill in her gaze intensifying as she stared at him.

Sirius reached out and wrapped his hands about her's on the box. A pleading stare met her eyes as she looked up at him.

"'Bella, I did what I thought was right. Not to hurt you. Not to cause you pain. And certainly not to trap you in your anger. I did it to set you free. So you could live some sort of life. The last thing I ever wanted to come out of this was for you to believe that I ever lied to you about loving you. And if you feel I did, then let me make amends. Please. Let me prove that my love for you wasn't a lie." He said in a soft, affectionate whisper. "Or if you feel it was, then at least let me make up for it."

"You can't." Came the equally harsh reply.

"Let me try. That's all I asked. Just give me a little time to try and make it right, 'Bella."

Arabella paused as she slowly let her gaze fall from his. In truth, the feel of his touch, and the sense of him so close were making it hard for her to think of anything at all. To distract herself she got quickly to her feet. She picked up the box and shoved it into his arms.

"I'll show you were it needs to go." She said bluntly, dropping the previous conversation as she stepped past him and headed down the stairs.

Sirius obediently followed her down the stairs, a small smile of hope playing across his lips.

The trip back up the stairs was nearly as silent as the one down them.

"You're very quiet all of the sudden." Sirius ventured finally when they reached the top of the stairs from the basement.

"I'm tired, Sirius." Arabella replied. "I'm going to bed."

Arabella turned and headed up the stairs to the second floor. In truth, she suddenly found herself very tired indeed. It had been a very long day and she was looking forward to a good, long sleep.

"You never asked me about Azkaban." He called up the stairs to her suddenly.

Arabella turned around so suddenly she nearly lost her balance. "What?"

"You never asked me about Azkaban. Not since I first came to your door. I think you're the only one who hasn't asked me something about it. What was it like. What did I think about. That sort of stuff."

The pair of smoke blue eyes stared down at him in the dim light of the ceiling lamp in the hallway.

"If I understand the Dementors correctly," Arabella answered with a cold smoothness in her voice, "you weren't thinking about anything pleasant."

"Then you don't understand them at all." Sirius replied, starting up the steps toward her until he stood right in front of her. "They like you to have pleasant thoughts. Happy ones. That's what they feed on. Every bit of hope and joy and happiness you can generate inside yourself. The pain and the emptiness and the feelings of hopelessness is what they leave you with when their done with you. They used to stay away from my cell for days at a time."

"Nothing to give them?" Arabella asked flatly.

Sirius shook his head. "Give me time to build up their feast for them."

"Feast?"

Sirius nodded. "You see, I was a special treat for them. A rarity. I gave them something that they didn't get too often with the Deatheaters. When I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, or planning on how best to kill a certain little rat, I only thought of two things. My godson was one."

Arabella paused for a moment as she stared back at him. Everything she ever loved in him she could still see reflected in his eyes. Clouded a bit perhaps, and a little harder to find, but still there.

"And the other?" She barely got the question out past a whisper.

Sirius slowly reached up and wove his fingers into her hair as he pulled her towards him. With the gentlest of touches he took her lips in a soft, moist kiss, then just as slowly pulled back.

"That."

The release of the tension positively exploded around them, the force of which threw Arabella into Sirius' embrace. With one hand fortunately wrapped firmly about the bannerrail of the stairs, Sirus caught Arabella with the other, pulling her tightly against him as he fought for balance.

The kiss that he met was neither tender nor questioning. Instead it drove on with unmistakable purpose. Finding better footing, Sirius let go of the bannerrail and let his one arm happily join the other as he slid them both down Arabella's back, stopping just shy of a much more intimate embrace. He could feel her own arms snake about his body, exploring at will as he did nothing to prevent her any liberty she chose.

The kiss continued to deepen as Sirius nudged his tongue against her lips. As she opened to him willingly, he familiarized himself again with the velvet caresses that played over the inside of his mouth. Caresses that increased in their urgency as Arabella laced her fingers through his long, black hair and pulled his lips tighter to her's.

Nearly losing himself in the sensations that were sweeping over his body along with Arabella's hands, Sirius deemed that they had gone as far as they could on the stairs. But as he slipped his arms about Arabella's body to lift her from the floor, he suddenly nearly lost his balance as she began to struggle out of his embrace.

When Sirius regained his balance and looked up, all that greeted him was the empty stairs above him and the sound of a slamming door.

Sirius rushed up the stairs as quietly as he could. In the moment, the last thing he wanted to do was wake his godson. Stopping outside Arabella's door, he had raised his hand to tap lightly on it when he abruptly paused. On the other side of the door he could hear her crying.

He tapped quickly on the door. "'Bella?" He called in a worried tone. "Open the door. Talk to me."

No answer came from behind the door. But he could hear her sobs move away from the door and retreat further into the room.

"'Bella, please. Just tell me you're all right."

He could hear the mattress creaking and her sobs become more muffled.

"'Bella? Please tell me what I did wrong. What is it?"

Still no answer.

Figuring the best thing to do was leave her be, Sirius slowly pulled back from the door. Going back to his own room, he found he felt worse thinking he left her alone as upset as she was. Sighing to himself, he stripped the blanket off the bed and returned to her door. He wrapped the blanket around him and seated himself on the floor. If she needed him, the least he could do was be there.