Chapter Thirteen
"I've got this thumping headache," said Arthur, "and what are all these bruises, and why is my nose sore?"
Trillian suggested that he had probably fallen out of his bunk, during the ship's artificial night, and that he couldn't remember because he'd hit his head. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get your memory back," she said, but she had a shifty look about her, and refused to elaborate. The more questions Arthur asked, the more Trillian busied herself with the online manual.
He could remember leaving the Heart of Gold... and setting out in the track-buggy... and something about a distress call being picked up... but the signal faded... and they'd made camp, and... He decided, finally, that his head really wasn't up to it.
"Hey, great to see you back in the land of the living," said Zaphod, immediately casting doubt on Trillian's explanation. "You had us really worried back there, but everybody rallied around, and we kicked some serious butt. How's the old grey matter? Settling back in okay?"
Arthur was used to this sort of thing, and just treated Zaphod to a blank expression. It was usually the best approach, he'd found, when speaking with the hairy one. Little Zaphod said made sense to the Earthman, and this time was no different. The vacant far-away look of somebody not quite at one with events usually did the trick, and he gave it his best shot.
"Good to see you're back to your old self." said Zaphod, showing an exceptional concern, which only served to confuse Arthur even more.
He resolved to tuck himself in more tightly the next time he went to bed, and left it at that.
Then Arthur saw the aliens that hadn't been there before - a dopey looking half-measure, and a woman whose dress sense suggested naked aggression. The effect was spoilt somewhat, however, as she was wearing one of the silliest full-on grins Arthur had ever seen. Presumably, they were originators of the mayday who had now been rescued. But, why were they handcuffed to their chairs?
When Ford sidled over to pass the time of day, Arthur asked him if he had anything for a headache, to which the Betelguesian had expressed surprise, correctly surmising that Arthur probably already had one. Arthur rephrased the question, and Ford told him that a medibot had already administered the maximum dose, and that he would have to wait until it was safe for another. After all, it's not every day someone has their brain removed from their head, and then put back again.
"But I don't understand," said Arthur.
"Well, he seems to be back to normal," said Zaphod.
Arthur went for a bit of a lie down. He chose the bottom bunk.
The End