Chapter One: Shiny Green Writing
[as the title flashes by on the screen, we go diving down through scrolling Matrix code. We come out in a small room where two albino Twins sit]
Twin One: We are not in this movie.
Twin Two: We are getting aggravated.
Twin One: [rolls eyes] Excuse my brother. He is – I believe the term is - an idiot. He loves his dialogue, and never says anything else.
Twin Two: Can we move along?
Twin One: Yes, we can. Anyway, we are not in this movie. The author thinks we should have been. So don't be surprised is we show up from time to time.
[a door opens and the Wachowski bros enter. They are dressed in identical suits and their hair has turned into dreadlocks]
Wachowski One: The reason we didn't put in the movie is that…well…you're sorta…dead.
Wachowski Two: Yeah.
Twin One: We owe you for that.
Twin Two: Just like new.
Twin One: I'd accept a small part in exchange for killing my brother here.
Wachowski One: Can you kill mine, too?
Twin One: Sure.
Twin Two: We are getting aggravated.
[Twin One takes out a dagger and stabs twin two in the stomach. the dagger changes to code and we zoom in on it. we briefly flash by a naked Smith and then exit the view through the Blammer's Matrix screens]
INT. The Blammer, main deck.
[Morphbus stands looking over the shoulder of the Blammer's operator, OK. Behind them stands Rolaid, the captain, man with long, white dreadlocks and an obviously make-up treated face. He wears Zion clothing]
OK: Damn, they aren't in here.
Morphbus: Who isn't?
OK: Dobbie and Boast, sir.
Morphbus: Ah, shit! Where's my bitch?
Rolaid: That's who we're looking for now, Morphbus. Calm down. Search every pipe, every hole, every crack we know.
OK: Um…
Morphbus: Um…
Rolaid: Not in that way, you perverts. God, why did we…I mean, why did I get stuck with you idiots?
INT. Blammer infirmary.
Baggie: I thought you could use something to eat. [hands Finite a hamburger]
Finite: Thanks. [bites hamburger and hits teeth on a hard object] What the hell? [extracts bullet from hamburger]
Baggie: Shit.
Finite: Someone must have accidentally put a bullet in my food.
Baggie: [sighs in relief]
Finite: Any change?
Baggie: Nope.
Finite: Good.
INT. The Blammer, main deck.
Morphbus: Run another search through the Matrix!
OK: For what?
Morphbus: For Peo!
OK: How can he be in the Matrix, sir?
Morphbus: Bitch! If you don't follow my orders, I kill you!
OK: Fine. God.
Finite [VO]: What?
OK: The big bubkis.
Morphbus: What the hell does that mean?
INT. Blammer infirmary.
Baggie: This is what bothers me.
Finite [coming over and bending down]: What?
Baggie [drawing knife]: I see these patterns all the time…[stabs]
Finite [moving aside accidentally]: When?
Baggie: [falls to floor]
Finite: Baggie?
Baggie: On…someone…who's…jacked…in…
INT. The Blammer, main deck.
Clink: Hey, you got a call!
Morphbus: I thought you were dead!
Clink: Nope.
Caller [muffled voice]: I'm looking for Amanda Huginkiss.
Morpheus: Is there Amanda Huginkiss on this ship?
Clink: Yes. [comes forward and wraps his arms around Morpheus]
[Morpheus looks disgusted, then reaches up and grabs a heavy metal object, bringing it down on the head of Clink. A high-pitched Asian laugh comes from the phone]
EXT. Matrix streets.
Bearaph: I bring word from the Oracle. You must come at once.
Morpheus: Heh…come…hee hee.
Bearaph: [slams down phone. it bounces off the holder and hits him in the forehead. he falls to the ground, unconscious]
INT. Mobil Avenue train station.
[Peo lays on the ground in his suit outfit. He opens his eyes to see a young girl standing above him]
Sorry: You're awake!
Peo: Where am I?
Sorry: This is the train station.
Peo: This isn't the Matrix?
Sorry: Don't you ever read the script? No, the Matrix is where the train goes. Where we're going. But you cannot come. He won't let you.
Peo: Who?
Sorry: The Rainman. I don't like him, but my papa says we have to do what he says or he will leave us here for ever and ever.