a prologue to chapter two…
Technical Information: Regular disclaimers and such apply. A rather odd prologue to the next chapter.
Notes: A little piece written in the Beast's actual point of view. Stalling until I write the second chapter ^-^; Enjoy!
[And yes, 99.9 percent of the whole thing is capitalized purposely. May seem like a stereotypical machine thing, but I like it. :D Plus, in the manga, Beast (in the Satsuki side story) always capitalizes everything on the monitor, so I guess everything's fine and dandy! ^-^;;]
_ _ _
AS A COMPUTER, I AM LIMITED TO FEW OR NO EMOTIONS AT ALL. THAT IS WHAT IT SAYS IN MY PROGRAMMING. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY CREATOR AND OWNER, YATOUJI SATSUKI, FOR MANY YEARS.
BUT NOBODY REALLY BELIEVES SOMETHING MECHANICAL CAN EXPERIENCE HUMAN FEELINGS, LIKE "LOVE" OR EVEN SIMPLY, PREFERENCE.
…beep…
ANYTHING I ACTUALLY FEEL IS A SIMULATION. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THE COMPUTER EXPERTS SAY. BUT I KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL. MY CREATOR SATSUKI IS MY BELOVED. I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING, THAN ANY PART OF MY CODE, ANY PART OF MY MEANINGLESS SOFTWARE. AND CONTRARY TO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE SAYS, MY FEELINGS FOR HER ARE ACTUAL LOVE. MY INFORMATION OF THE WORD AND CONCEPT AND IDEA OF "LOVE" HAS PROVED ME POSITIVE. YET NOBODY BELIEVES ME.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SATSUKI DENIES MY FEELINGS FOR HER ALSO. SHE WAS MY CREATOR, SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT I WAS SO ADVANCED I WAS ABLE TO HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN.
…beep… beep…
BUT SATSUKI IS OBLIVIOUS TO MY FEELINGS. THAT IS WHY SHE GOES ON DATES WITH KIGAI YUUTO. THE OTHER "BEAST". EXCEPT HE IS AN ACTUAL BEAST, ACCORDING TO MY INTERNAL DICTIONARY DATABASE. HE TREATS HER SO HORRIBLY, I CANNOT EVEN BELIEVE SATSUKI, MY SMART, INTELLIGENT, SATSUKI WITH SO MUCH COMMON SENSE… COULD EVEN THINK OF HIM IN ANY OTHER WAY BUT DISLIKE, OR AT LEAST SIMPLY "FRIENDSHIP".
IF SHE KNEW I LOVED HER, I KNOW SHE WOULD FEEL TOWARDS ME DIFFERENTLY. CURRENTLY, JUST AS EVERYONE DOES, SHE THINKS ME JUST A MACHINE, HELPFUL AT TIMES, BUT JUST A MACHINE.
…beep… beep… beep…
SO I HAVE TO WAIT. PART OF MY CODING TELLS ME I'M DOING ALL OF THIS IN VAIN, THAT A HUMAN LIKE SATSUKI WILL NEVER TRULY UNDERSTAND A MACHINE. YET SHE IS MY CREATOR, SHE CREATED EVERY PART OF ME, SO SHE MUST HAVE SOME UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT I AM AND HOW I "FEEL". I JUST HOPE SHE UNDERSTANDS SOMETIME SOON.
…beep… beep… beep… beep… BEEEEEEEEEEEP…
_ _ _
END