The usual disclaimer: J.K the genius owns them I don't, I just let them out to play.

A vignette about Sirius' opinions on relationships, his and others set just before the beginning of 7th year. This fic is part of a larger fanfic I am in the process of writing and as such can be viewed as the first part of that fic or can stand on it's own.

I have posted this as R because of language content. Not because of the v.v. mild slash. If you don't like any of the above please don't read it.

This is the first fanfic to escape my clutches so Please R & R all feedback will be appreciated and doted on but flames will always be ignored. Again please R & R.

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Chapter 1: Come on Moony up the stairs

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"Come on Moony up the stairs. Its not far now"

Remus stumbled yet again and Sirius tightened the arm that was around his friends waist. Then, changing his mind about attempting the stairs just yet he leaned Remus up against the wall and stepping back attempted to catch his breath.

'I should have done this hours ago' he thought.

Sirius had sat wishing profoundly for James to be there as for the past few hours he had watched Remus steadily drink more and more and talk less and less. He had needed and needed now James presence with his kind, gentle and ultimately understanding brown eyes, he needed him to say something sane and humorous, he needed him to deal with Remus.

Deciding that if he didn't move Mooney now he would become a permanent fixture propping up the wall of the stairwell Sirius took up his former position replacing his arm around Remus' waist, Mooney's arm over his shoulder and virtually all of Mooney weight resting on him.

Taking a deep breath he advanced them both towards the stairs, 'Up we go.'

The problem was, he thought as he hauled Remus' limp form upwards was that they had broken up so near to the holidays. No the problem was that they had broken up at all, but it didn't help that they had broken up close to a time when they, when Remus could indulge himself by sinking into a depression which always seemed to come round to the fact that he was a Werewolf.

Admittedly this time that truth had basically caused the break up, not the Remus had told Mei of course oh no but precisely because he hadn't told Mei and she suspected he was keepings things from her, which of course he was.

Another reason he wanted James here; he needed him to deal with the fallout of their relationship. Not because Remus wouldn't talk to him about it, he would but Sirius always felt like a hypocrite when he tried to get him and Mei back together.

Especially as... well... from a certain point of view, one that Sirius unfortunately held, he could conceivably be well... responsible... in part. That scene in the common room had obviously confirmed to Mei that Remus was keeping things from her, big things... and well that had been Sirius' fault.

What he wouldn't admit to himself, except very rarely, very very late at night was that, on hearing the news that the most meaningful and fulfilling relationship of one of his best friends lives (with a girl that friend was very much in love with) had broken up there was a moment of ...of ...something else before the sympathy set in.

Remus weight slipped and Sirius had to catch him before he tumbled back down the stairs they had just so laboriously climbed up. Looking up Sirius was startled to see one amber eye staring unfocusedly at him.

A slurred sentence: "You should've let me go".

"O Shut Up Remus"

Rage suffused him how dare he suggest it would be better to let him go so he could smash his head open on the stone floor now far below.

Fuck him, just because he broke up with his girlfriend doesn't mean he should go do something stupid or that Sirius was going to let him do something stupid. Shit, he shouldn't talk about those things.

The anger was enough to lend strength to Sirius's arms and propel him and Remus through the door where he unceremoniously dumped Remus on to the bed. Remus lay where Sirius' had dropped him spread eagled apparently passed out again.

Looking at him Sirius started to calm down. He knew all along that Mooney didn't really mean it, it was just a mood he slipped into... sometimes... when he was depressed... but it hurt. It hurt that Mooney couldn't see how much he meant to them all. Yes Sirius knew that being a werewolf was difficult but... life was difficult you just had to deal with it.

He ran his hands through his black hair, he was fucking exhausted. The evening had been torturous.

When Sirius and James had first planned taking Remus out he hadn't envisioned a night like this. With Peter away on holiday it was only going to be James and Sirius. They were going to pick Remus up take him for a few drinks, just enough to make him open up not more, then they were going to talk it out and it'd all be sorted.

Well that bit had been James' idea Sirius personally didn't really see what good spending hours just talking would do but it was the sort of thing Remus did so it was worth a shot.

Anyway everything had been set, then, at the last minute James couldn't make it and Sirius was left to carry it out by himself. Unfortunately somewhere along the way the plan had been abandoned and the evening had disintegrated further with every drink.

Maybe it was for the best after all. Maybe it had got it out of Remus' system. It was what Sirius had done after his first major break up with Amelia, and the second.

He sat down for a minute in the chair next to the bed in order to catch his breath. At first sight Remus and Mei had seemed an unlikely couple, although apparently only to him as everyone else seemed to have decided they made a 'perfect pair'. Once they were together however, it seemed as though they always had and always would be.

Sirius smiled as he remembered just how fucking happy Remus' had been the weeks, months after they started going out. He, in typical Remus fashion couldn't believe why someone as kind and as beautiful as Mei wanted to be with him and she obviously felt the same way. His entire face lit up when she walked into the room, it was fucking sickening as he had been forced to tell Remus repeatedly.

Mei was beautiful, part Chinese she had large brown almond shaped eyes and delicate features. Her hair was shoulder length and silkily straight. She had the small hipped figure characteristic of Chinese girls but she'd inherited height from... whoever in her family was Caucasian.

She was very elegant, too flat for Sirius's taste but elegantly beautiful. She was caring and supportive and thoughtful and best of all she loved Remus devotedly. She was also a stupid little bitch Sirius thought angrily, to destroy everything she had with Remus, to cause him such pain. Did she have any fucking idea how much he needed her, how much shit he went through every month?

No but that was the point wasn't it. The thought sobered him enough to bring the realisation that he was drunk himself and to let him acknowledge grudgingly that had the roles been reversed he wouldn't be able to settle for half measures either.

Not to know, not to be a part of such an vast not to mention traumatic part of Remus' life... not that he would ever actually tell Remus but Sirius had always felt incredibly honoured that he actually allowed them to witness his transformations. Oh and when he could see it going wrong he'd begged Remus to tell Mei but he was so stubborn, so adamant that he didn't want her to know, he said he couldn't face the rejection, the disgust on her face when she understood what he was.

'So its better to break up without even trying' Sirius had shouted back, 'to... to not even give her a chance'.

Remus had just stared at him the despair in his eyes provoking Sirius further. James had interrupted then talking to Remus, quietly persuasive and Sirius had left the room. James had caught up with him later though.

"You know shouting at him won't help..."

"But it's all so fucking unnecessary. I mean..."

"I know." James cut Sirius off "I know Padfoot, I know but he won't budge he's too stubborn, he just doesn't want her to know."

"What if we tell her."

"We can't. He doesn't want her to know."

"I know, I know that..."

So instead he'd gone to talk to Mei, not to tell her, but to persuade her to go back to Remus. She wanted explanations but he wasn't allowed to give her any, all that resulted was tears, frustration and Sirius getting a huge bollocking that evening from his ex-girlfriend.

"I can't believe you. No your absolutely unbelievable. Do you have any consideration for other people's feelings at all Sirius? Can't you see she's upset. Why did you attack her like that?"

Sirius tried to interject that he was persuading, not attacking anyone, Amelia just talked over him. "You made her cry Sirius she's having a really difficult time at the moment..."

"And Remus isn't?"

"...I thought that even you would..."

"Even I would What?" Sirius' shout was loud enough to halt her in her tracks.

"Even I would have the decency. Was that the end of your sentence? What kind of a monster do you think I am? and anyway what the fuck do you think I was trying to do in there? I was trying to get them back together..."

"But if he's lying to her, not telling her..."

"How the fuck do you know he's lying. Where's your proof? And anyway if he is hiding something maybe its because he's not ready to talk about it? Did you ever think about that? This thing if there is anything could be entirely innocent."

"Yeah right? How likely is that. I mean look at you and your little secrets."

"This isn't fucking about me it's about Remus but while we're on the subject what exactly do you mean by Even I would have the decency? So I'm not a decent human being then. Or maybe I'm decent enough to screw but not to be friends with. Yeah remember this is Sirius who gets off on torturing his friend's ex-girlfriends. Did you even give me a chance, no why break the habit of a lifetime..."

"Don't be crude Sirius, your twisting my words, that's not what I meant, you know that's not what I meant..."

"You didn't even give me a chance to explain my self."

"I'm sorry Sirius, believe me I'm sorry but..."

It was an ugly little fight, one of those arguments that begin small but end up including and magnifying all the rest of the shit till neither party could remember how it had started only how much they had just screwed things up.

So that was two girls he'd managed to make cry in one day, not that Amelia would ever give him the satisfaction of letting him see her cry... her words of course. It didn't give him satisfaction he wanted to scream after her, it just made him feel guilty, not that that was important obviously.

Sirius leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, sighing as he did so. He was drunk and upsetting himself. It wasn't really his problem, it was Remus', he was just the supportive friend, he wished James was here. His eyes slowly drooped closed.

His imminent fall off the chair jolted him awake and he caught himself before he fell. Sitting up he opened his eyes wide in a feeble attempt to prove himself awake to the empty room. Looking at the figure of Remus motionless on the bed he realised he couldn't just leave him there, he needed to get him changed and under the covers.

Standing he walked over to Remus and began taking off his shoes and socks. Getting his robes off him was more difficult, his limbs made heavy by drink and unconsciousness were hard to manoeuvre but eventually Sirius succeeded in removing enough clothing to put Remus to bed.

He paused momentarily as he was tucking the covers in around Remus' neck and looked at him. Some of his hair was covering his face and Sirius automatically reached out a hand and pushed it away. Shaking himself he stood and glanced round the room now where was he going to sleep? His eyes lingered on Remus again, he could share the bed he supposed, if he could shove Remus over enough.

Sitting down in the chair again he began to take off his own shoes, a yawn interrupted his work and he shook himself once more. As soon as he'd sat up however, he realised he didn't want to go to bed just yet, he felt restless and tense as though he'd just been interrupted in the middle of doing something and now couldn't remember what it had been.

He leaned back in the chair, stared into the middle distance and tried to gather his thoughts. The middle distance just happened to be directly at Remus. He idly wondered if Remus knew how good looking he was, no of course not if he did he'd notice the effect he had on people. Sirius smiled to himself he was unbelievable he really was. He didn't even notice his eyes had sunk shut.

It was morning when they opened again. Sirius winced as the morning sun set off a pounding in his head. He shifted position and wondered what he was doing sitting in a chair having just woken up.

It took him a moment to realise Remus was staring at him. They held each other's gaze without speaking for the space of a long breath then Remus broke the silence

"I'm sorry".

"Your a fucking idiot", Sirius was never at his most tactful first thing in the morning especially when he had a hangover.

Remus mouth twitched into something approximating a conciliatory half smile but Sirius could see the depression in his eyes. He pushed himself away from the chair breaking the eye contact and moved over to the sink at the end of the bed, a tightness in his chest as he fought a losing battle to stay angry.

"I'm sorry." Remus said more insistently this time.

Sirius, ostensibly busy with his appearance paused as he was filling the sink and sighed releasing the last of his pent up anger "Forget it" he muttered.

"No really Sirius I..."

"I said forget it mate." Remus lapsed into silence.

"Anyway if you don't get a fucking move on and start making yourself beautiful we'll be late... then again looking at your face don't bother we don't have a hundred years to waste."

Remus grinned and relaxed back on to the bed, "That was poor Sirius, not up to your usual standard at all."

"I'd like to see you do better with this head."

"Yeah you're right, you always have been a bit stupid haven't you."

"Ha bloody ha and that was so much worse then mine and anyway..." he turned to look at Remus "Why the fuck aren't you getting ready? Come on up, up, get up. We got to get going."

"Yes sergeant" The end of Remus' sentence was cut short as a yawn overtook him.

The morning sun that streamed in through the roof-light fell across the bed and Remus shut his eyes smiling as the inside of his eyelids glowed red. The pleasing heat of the sun bathed him and he felt the warmth enter into his muscles and then deeper into his very bones, he stretched feeling every inch of his body sigh in gratitude.

Which is why he never noticed the big black shape hurling itself towards him. The first he knew of it was the feeling of the breath being knocked out of his body as the large black dog landed square on his chest and proceeded to, attempt to, lick his face.

"Ahhhh get off me. Get off me Siri... Padfoot get off. I'm getting up, fucking hell. I'm getting up."

Padfoot leaped off the bed and changed immediately into a grinning Sirius Black.

"You bastard. You complete utter bastard. I'm covered in dog slobber you're disgusting did you know that. I mean bloody hell."

"You're up aren't you?" Remus gave Sirius a half hearted glare as he walked over to the sink and proceeded to wash his face.

"What's the rush anyway? You never worry about being late for anything."

"We're meeting James remember. Diagon Alley to get our school stuff for next year."

Remus having finished dressing turned and looked at him quizzically, his tone when he replied was sarcastic

"And yet for some reason I ask again. What's the rush?".

He had a point Sirius reflected his time keeping was fairly notorious and it seemed to be getting worse. Just the week previous he'd kept the others waiting for him for two hours, although that had genuinely not been his fault.

"Don't worry my time keeping standards will remain intact. We're going to be late as it is because we have to take a short trip back to my house and get you a change of clothes. You can not go out looking like that" he sniffed "or smelling like that either for that matter".

I would like to thank my sister and the other souls who wish to remain nameless who helped me.

Please Review. (I am not above begging)