Coming Home
Author: Protege99999
Pairing: Josh/Donna, eventually
Rating: PG-13, mostly R later with swears and sexually references
Spoilers: Around season 3, hints to Cliff
Summary: Sometimes you have to take the long way to get home.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.
Author's note: This is my first West Wing fan fiction. I tried to stay away from getting into the detail political stuff, because then I'll really sound like I don't know what I'm talking about. Please review!!!
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Donna's Apartment
Donna put down her ice cream as she got off the couch and answered the door.
"Josh?" She found Josh on the other side of the door, his hair and jacked soaked from rain storm raging outside, "What are you doing here? Why are you all wet?"
"I had to see you," he simply stated.
"Well come in," she ushered him into her apartment and took his overcoat and suit jacket.
"You want some tea or something to warm you up?"
He smiled at her, "sure that'd be great."
She entered the kitchen and busied herself in making two cups of tea, never lifting her eyes off him. He was sitting with his back to her; his posture slightly slouched, facing the television. She returned to him with the two cups of tea.
"Here this should warm you up."
He smiled as he took the cup from her, "Thanks."
She returned the smile and drank from her mug. He was being unusually quite and she couldn't figure out what exactly he was thinking. He had been like this all day.
"What are you doing here Josh?"
"I…I came…" slightly frustrated with the lack of ability to form a sentence revealing his thoughts, he ran his hand through his hair. He looked over at her and smiled again, "I need a reason to come over?"
"Ah, the use of misdirection?" She questioned him back.
"Well truth be told, I thought maybe we needed to talk. (He sighed) I know things between us have seemed strained at times lately and I just thought…well I mean I thought that perhaps we needed to address these issues."
She wasn't quite sure what to make out of this little speech. It started off personal, two friends trying to make amends and he ended it sounding so professional, pulling away from her again.
"Why tonight?" She questioned as she finished her tea.
He waited a moment to reply, "Amy and I are over. Well really we have been for a while, but officially last night we are over."
"Ah, I see."
There was silence between them again. The fact that he waited until things with Amy were over to finally try to make amends was not lost on Donna and she wasn't going to let him off that easy. She was going to make him work for it.
He picked up the ice cream carton she was eating from before he came over. It had started to melt. Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, a true sign that Donna was having a bad day.
"Bad day?"
"It's been a bad year, Josh." She sighed and took the melted ice cream from him and moved to the kitchen to put it away.
She returned from the kitchen and stood in the living room, hands on hips looking at him. He felt uncomfortable under her gaze.
"You said you came over here to address our issues, Josh."
He looked up at her, "I did….I just…I just don't know where to begin."
"Are you still mad at me?'
"God Donna, no!" His yelling took her a bit surprised. He noted that and continued slightly calmer "Why don't you understand I wasn't mad? I was just, I don't know disappointed I guess. I mean you knew him for what two days and hopped right into, I mean…"
"Josh, critiquing my character isn't going to make things better between us," Donna stated angrily interrupting him. "I have not said one word about what you are or what you did with Amy."
"Amy's not republican." Josh stood now facing Donna, closing the distance between them.
"You're upset because he holds different views then yours?"
"He just didn't hold different views then me. God he ran the damn investigation. He could have kicked us out Donna. Don't you see that? He could have helped impeach the President?" He was getting angrier. This was not the conversation he came over to have and things were quickly getting out of his control.
"You don't think I know that? I ended it for that particular reason, but Josh he didn't. He helped us out."
"You call a censure 'helping us out?"
"Next to the possibility of impeachment? Yes? For protecting Leo, yes I do call that helping us out. He's one of the good guys Josh. So stop being mad at me and stop being mad at him."
"For the hundredth time I'M NOT MAD AT YOU," he yelled at her to emphasize his point.
"Then what the hell is it? Because it sure feels like your pissed at me," matching Josh's tone.
"I'm in love you," he yelled back at her, instantly regretting the tone he used. "Oh god. Look, that's not the way I wanted to tell you. I came over and I had a plan and then I got here and I don't know…I got nervous and then things spun out of control…"
"Please don't," she raised her hand up to him shutting him up.
"Donna…."
"Josh I don't want to be your rebound girl."
"You're not my rebound girl. If anything Amy was my rebound girl. I think this is stupid, we shouldn't tip toe around this anymore. I love you and I know you love me and nothing else should matter."
"Josh please don't…"
"Don't what? Try to make myself happy?
Look Donna, you're the best thing that happened to me and you're the
only one that keeps me sane. I need you
in my life, without you I'm literally lost.
I wouldn't know where I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to be
doing. You're the reason I'm so
successful, without you or your billion note cards and useless facts, I wouldn't
know what I was talking about. My life is
getting out of control and I need someone, I mean I need you. I can't do this alone anymore."
"Josh, you should leave."
"Are you kidding me? I come over ready to start something that's been years in the making and your asking me to leave? I know you love me. You can't hide that from me. I see the way you look at me, the things you say to me. I'm not oblivious. 'I wouldn't stop for red lights.' You think I'm dense and that I can't read you, but I assure you I'm not. I understand more then you think. I see the signs. Don't you understand you could make me a better person?"
Her eyes narrowed and she looked up at him, "So because I run your office efficiently and I get you to meetings on time, you have decided that I'm the girl that you're meant to be with."
"No Donna that not what I meant. Look…"
"Josh this is not about me and you. This is about you. You're confused about Amy and you're grabbing onto me like a life raft. Well I got news for you I can't keep all of us afloat. I can't be your safety net."
"No it has nothing to do with Amy. This is about us."
"Then why did you wait till the day after you broke up with her?" Donna sighed
and continued. "Josh look as flattering as
it is to hear you say all these great reasons of why you love me and my
research techniques I need to go to sleep," Donna walked over to where she placed
his coat. She handed him his suit jacket
and raincoat, "I believe I asked you to leave."
"Donna, this isn't over."
She opened the door to the apartment. Shaking her head she said "No Josh it's been over for a very long time."
"I....," he looked at her he didn't know what to say.
"I'll see you tomorrow at work Josh." Her tone was cold and it was clear to him that she truly didn't want him here anymore.
"Goodnight Donnatella," he placed a soft kiss on her forehead as he left.