Soul Scrolls

Chapter 4

I ran my brush through the knots in my tangled hair, jerking my brush impatiently every few seconds. When I was finally satisfied with my appearance, I made my way downstairs for breakfast.

"Mornin'," I mumbled, still half-asleep.

Otousan, who had just returned from a mission, grunted a reply, his mind focused on last week's news. A large pile of old, unread newspapers lay beside him. Eyes still fixed on the papers, he mumbled, "Ino, go fix me some breakfast. I'm hungry."

Ah, yes. Okaasan was away on her mission, which meant I, the only other female in the household, had to do the chores.

I shuffled over to the fridge, yanked the door open, and groaned when I saw that it was empty, save for a loaf of stale bread and an empty carton of milk. Sighing, I went upstairs to retrieve my wallet, and then went off to the marketplace to buy some food.

Being mid-morning already, the marketing crowd had thinned somewhat, and I knew I could not count on obtaining the best goods; they'd most probably sold out. My suspicions were confirmed after a quick glance around the shops. Now my only option was to buy home brunch, perhaps some sashimi or something like that, but which restaurant would be open at this time of the morning?

And then I caught sight of a familiar blonde, blue-eyed boy, and I suddenly remembered -- Ichiraku Ramen!

"Hey, Naruto! Wait up!" I called out and ran up to him. "Where are you headed for? Ichiraku Ramen?" He nodded, and blushed a little.

"I was hoping that you could recommend the best buys, since I don't eat there that often..."

"Ah, but I'll be meeting someone there... It isn't really very convenient, you know..." His voice trailed off and he turned a darker shade of pink while he scratched the back of his head casually to hide his embarrassment.

"Oh, a date!" I giggled. "All right then, why don't you recommend me some dishes now, so I could go on my own and not cause any misunderstandings."

He grinned at me and immediately rattled on about his favourite food while I listened half-heartedly, wondering what it would be like to be on a date with Sasuke.

*****

When I got home, Otousan was still reading the papers leisurely. I poured the packets of ramen into two bowls and pushed one in front of him while I tucked into mine. The noodles were piping hot, and were as delicious as Naruto promised they'd be. Or perhaps I was just too hungry.

I looked up and saw that Otousan hadn't touched his noodles, which were beginning to get cold. Can't he smell them?

I patted his arm, and he peered at me from the top of the page. "Yeah?"

"Well, uh, I bought you breakfast," I said, gesturing to the ramen.

"Oh, oh! Dear me, I must have been too absorbed by the papers. Heh." With that, he folded the papers and wolfed down his noodles, slurping loudly, and finished with a loud and dramatic burp as I stared in amazement.

Otousan wasn't quite himself today.

Perhaps it's because Okaasan's away.

I shrugged, finished my noodles and rinsed the bowls and chopsticks and placed them in the dishwasher. A quick glance at the clock -- eleven thirty.

I'd better start getting ready for Choji's birthday party.

*****

I placed the neatly ironed clothes on my bed -- a pair of jeans and a sky blue sleeveless turtleneck. Choji's present was placed beside them, lest I forget.

Now, I was done with the preparations for his birthday party; all I needed was to get dressed. But I had nearly four hours to go. I'd bathed, prepared my clothes and his present... Now what?

I sat on the edge of my bed for a moment, and then reached over to my bookshelf for a novel. It had been a random choice, but somehow I'd picked out the book I'd gotten for my birthday three years back. I opened the book to the first page, and the message in a familiar scrawl greeted me.

... with love from Shikamaru...

Feeling the guilt well up within me once again, I shut the book and replaced it on the shelf. With a sigh, I flopped myself onto my bed and folded my arms behind my head, while my legs dangled off the side of the bed.

I hadn't spoken to Shikamaru since the end of the mission, which was about a month ago. Although I'd seen him a couple of times at headquarters, he'd turned away and left quickly every single time he saw me. He was evidently going out of his way to avoid me.

I had every intention to offer my sincere apologies to him, and I felt that he'd understand, considering that he knew just how much I was still hurting from Sasuke's rejection of me. But he never returned my calls, nor replied to my notes of apology.

And now that he was ignoring me, I felt as if something was missing from my life, as if the loss of my friendship with him had left an irreparable hollow in my heart.

A hollow that ached to be filled.

What the heck! I sound like I'm in love with him!

Or am I?

I paused for a moment, and then shook my head vigorously as if to clear that thought from my head. Impossible! He's only a friend, and a very good one at that!

And yet, there seemed to be a part of me, however small, that told me that I was just running away from the truth, that I was a fool to run away from him and intentionally leave his emotions unrequited.

But what is he to me? A brother? A friend?

I lay on my side and curled myself up, and somehow memories flooded my head. Not just memories of Shikamaru, of course; I recalled the carefree days at the Ninja Academy, the time when I first saw Sasuke...

Oh, how I was smitten with his good looks and icy persona... And right from the start I'd dreamt of marrying him when I grew up... How his dark eyes intrigued me every time I looked into them...

And how he rejected me. Cruelly, heartlessly, apologetically.

I felt a small stab of pain at the very thought, and began to wonder who the lucky girl was.

Surely not that big, ugly forehead girl... Sakura...

Oh, if only, if only we hadn't fallen for the very same boy! I still hurt from the memory of her returning the ribbon to me... It was my favourite, and somehow she made me -- No, she didn't make me do so... I gave it to her of my own accord, and that was why it hurt so much more... The very act of her returning the bow to me symbolised her rejection of my friendship and goodwill, and I treasured the times I spent with her so much...

Though we'd patched up, more or less after the Chuunin exam, things weren't quite the same, considering that we still like Sasuke, and the intensity of our rivalry for his affections never abated. Besides, we'd become busier, and with missions lasting longer as we rose in rank, we met up less and less frequently, and then we'd just stopped catching up with each other...

I wonder how she is getting along now... Haven't spoken to her in nearly a year...

...

A wave of emptiness surged within me, and almost instinctively, I reached for the phone on my bedside table and mindlessly dialled a string of numbers into the keypad.

It was a while before I realised who I was calling -- Shikamaru.

Somehow, he'd become my Agony Uncle over the years, and every time I felt bored or down, I'd call him to yak. And honestly, though his replies usually comprised grunts and mumbled words, somehow I found comfort in his company, or when he was just there or listening, for that matter.

No one picked up, which was rather unsurprising, considering how he'd been behaving towards me in recent weeks.

With a heavy heart, I buried my head in my pillow, and... cried, anyhow, inexplicably.

Somehow, his ignoring me hurt the most, gnawing at my heart. It was very different from how I felt when Sasuke rejected me... When my heart felt so heavy, and tears flowed so freely.

This time, however, I felt as if I could not muster enough strength to sob and bawl until I felt better, so I bottled my emotions within my heart, and I shed but a few tears.

But the aching pain I felt in my heart remained, and it was great difficulty that I pulled myself out of bed and got myself ready for Choji's party.

Silently, and with a wry smile, I added another item to my checklist -- a mask with a broad grin on it.

A/n: Wishing all readers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I really appreciate your support, and I hope to upload the next chapter ASAP, but with school starting on 2 Jan, and with us seniors needing to prepare for orientation and what not, uh, and with Chinese New Year coming soon... I think you can expect chapter 5 to be up, hopefully by the end of Jan 2004. =_= Yes, yes I know it's a long wait, that's why I squeezed time out to write this chapter before Christmas for all you guys XP (I haven't finished my holiday homework... I am so going to be killed by my teachers)

Uh, yeah. Enjoy the holidays while it lasts _