The Sweetest Thing
Chapter 13
By obi's girl
Chapter 13, Post 1
Han fixed his collar and sleeves one more time before seeing Leia. Normally, he wouldn't wear his military uniform (he didn't think it would still fit him just right) but it seemed only appropriate for the occasion. Today was his mother in laws funeral. Han had never known the woman but earlier on in his relationship with Leia, he figured mother and daughter would be very much alike - stubborn, quick whit and the most fierce temper in the galaxy! Or maybe that came from Anakin's side, Han thought and shrugged, brushing his shoulders for any lint and then left the view of the mirror and went to Leia's room.
"Leia, sweet heart, are you ready to leave?" he called, standing outside their bedroom. She had been there for hours, not leaving the room until "everything was perfect". "Leia? Princess?" Han huffed and then finally keyed in a code, opening the door to the room.
Leia sat at the dresser, brushing her hair and humming to herself. Han turned briefly, noting that the dress he'd laid out the night before was still sitting on the bed, barely touched. //She's still grief stricken, it's understandable. //
"Honey, we don't have to go if you don't want to. But Luke wants you there, she was your mother and you should be able to say a proper goodbye,"
Leia put down her brush and turned to him suddenly, a bright smile on her face, "I saw mom a couple weeks ago. She told me about Naboo, about her sister, Luke and mine's aunt. She loved Naboo, Han. I'd never been there but I can imagine it was much like Alderaan."
Han frowned, sitting down slowly on the bed and setting the dress aside, "Leia...Princess..."
"Ever since I knew I was adopted, I had this strong instinct to find her but somehow, I never did and now she's here with us, Han. She's here with me and Luke...it wasn't the perfect reunion but she's here."
"Leia, what's wrong?" Han cried, looking incredulously at his wife. He sighed, glanced at the dress and then stood up suddenly, holding the dress in his hands. "Leia, you need to stop this! I know it's hard for you but you need to put this dress on. Luke is expecting us,"
Leia took hold of the dress, looking at the dark fabric in her hands, "Why do I need this?"
Han grumbled, "Because we're attending your mother's funeral. Leia, don't you remember? You were there with Luke in the med bay when Cilighal told us,"
Leia stared at the dress again, laughed to herself and threw it back at Han, "My mother's NOT dead, Han. I don't know what you're talking about," she paused, "And this dress is ugly. I know I couldn't have chosen it!"
"Leia, wake up! Please Leia, whatever it is you're doing, stop it,"
"I'm not doing anything Han. You're the one that's talking like a crazy old man. My mother is not dead, but she is waiting for me. I have to go to her apartment and see her," she whispered.
Han nodded, standing there as Leia fixed her hair in braids and happily left the room, on her way to her mother's apartment.
~~
Jaina studied herself in the mirror as Jag struggled to get his collar to look right. She had only seen him once don his traditional Chiss military uniform. The first time she met him was during the reception in Tofunda Bay on Ithor. They were both much younger then; Jaina was just beginning her flight career in the Rogue Squadron and Jag, he was a hotshot pilot. She smiled, remembering how he bypassed all the politicians to meet her. Thing seemed simpler then. Jaina had fewer responsibilities; she was a great pilot but she didn't play any significant role in the war against the Vong.
So much had changed now. The war, she realized could last for decades but at the moment, it didn't concern her. She smiled and turned to him, fixing his collar for him. It seemed like only yesterday she was on Naboo with Jag and her devoted handmaiden was her confidant and friend. Maybe it would have been better if Padmé had stayed as Larissa.
"I think that's enough, darling," Jag whispered and Jaina stepped away as he fixed the rest of his military uniform.
She nodded and went to sit on the edge of their bed, fidgeting and then noticed the japer snippet sitting on the dresser. "Why didn't she take it back from me?"
Jag turned to his wife and then to the dresser, fingering the necklace, "Maybe she wanted you to have it,"
"It was hers, Jag. Anakin gave it to her; he was young when it happened but it was the first real bond between them," she cried, "I don't understand why she didn't take it back,"
"Jaina?"
Jaina nodded, lulling her head as she sobbed, "I knew, Jag,"
Jag frowned, leaning off the dresser and sitting beside Jaina, "Knew what? That she was sick and dying?"
"No, I knew who she was. I had this strong feeling when I met her; something about her was familiar to me. I knew it when I snuck back to my room that first night we were together and she caught me. It reminded me of mom when she caught me and Jacen and Anakin getting into trouble and then trying to hide what we were doing,"
"Was it the Force that told you?" Jag questioned.
Jaina nodded, smiling sourly at him, "Not the Force. My heart. My heart was telling me there was something about this woman and that somehow, I was connected to her. For years, my Uncle Luke always searched for signs that we had family else where in the galaxy. But for one week, my grandmother was my handmaiden, my caretaker and I never once acknowledged that I knew her secret because I didn't want to admit it to myself,"
Jag shrugged, "Maybe you did that because you didn't want to know the truth,"
"I was stupid Jag. I yelled at her, telling her there was no way she could be my grandmother because it just wasn't possible,"
"But that was then, Jaina. Before, um, before, you had accepted her," he reasoned.
Jaina huffed, "Because it didn't feel right to leave there and have her believe I resented her. I didn't want her to believe that,"
Jag smiled, leaned in and kissed her forehead, "Somehow my love, I don't think she resents you. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have told you and returned with us,"
She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder, "It just seems like everything is falling apart because before we even get to the good things we're supposed to enjoy."
Tbc
Chapter 13, Post 2
Han leaned impatiently against the side on the hallway as he waited for his brother-in-law to answer. He started to tap his fingers on the wall and rub his chin; he couldn't understand how things had changed so quickly. Somehow Leia had blocked out the memory of mother's death and her illness, only remembering her reunion with her the first couple months after she arrived. Han grunted as Luke finally answered the door.
He stormed into the room, passing Mara and Ben as he went straight to their bedroom. He'd hoped Leia hadn't gone straight to Padmé's apartment and maybe stopped by her brother's first, but she wasn't there.
"Han, what's wrong? Where's Leia?" Luke asked.
Han turned to him, "She's gone, kid," Luke glanced at Mara, but she only shrugged, not understanding what he was saying. "I mean, she's lost it. Somehow, Leia's put herself in this little world where her mother is still alive, and her death didn't even happen,"
"Regression?" Luke questioned and sat down, "Does Jaina know about this?"
"No, I went to see if she was ready to leave. The dress I laid out for her was still on our bed and she was brushing her hair....but the way she talked Luke, it scares me. I realize she was never actually raised by the woman but this beyond denial," Han explained, "I don't know what to do, kid,"
Mara positioned Ben on her other arm, "Han, Leia's lost a lot in this war. She lost both her sons and now her mother..."
Han grumbled, "I couldn't stop any of it. I don't think what she's going through is something temporary. What if she's like this for a long time?"
"Where is Leia now?" Luke asked.
"She said she was going to see her mother, at her apartment but there's nothing there. Just boxes of her stuff and unpacked things, we haven't even gone through yet,"
Luke nodded, grabbed his cloak, "Mara, take Han and Ben ahead. Jag and Jaina, I think are already there. Whatever happens, don't tell them anything about Leia's condition. Or anyone else for that matter," he turned and looked at his brother-in-law, "I can't promise anything, Han..."
"I know kid, I know," he whispered.
~~
Cherith breathed slowly as she focused all her energy into the red punching bag. She was almost alone in the gym, if not for a few Jedi that were meditating. Somehow, Cherith never really caught onto how relaxing meditating could be or how it helped one be with the Force; she preferred other ways to calm herself. Some of those other ways included dragging out a punching bag and beating it until there wasn't anything else to beat.
It just her grandmother's death she was venting, it was everything. In a few short months, she would be a big sister; her best friends made it their personal mission to make sure she had a love life when she didn't even want them to know she already had one, and, also the fact that everyone expected her to accept everything the way things are! She didn't want to have baby brother; her grandmother was gone and there wasn't anything she could there to bring her back.
Cherith stopped hitting the bag momentarily, holding it until it stopped swinging from her punches. Above everything else, she didn't want to attend her great grandmother's funeral. It wasn't that she didn't care; she did care, a lot. It was...
It was about the first time she met Padmé, how she almost killed her because she was expecting to see her. It was about the small lunches they would have together, and Cherith would talk to her about things, private things. She had become her conscious and now, it was back to listening to her own advice instead from someone else. She didn't know anything about making choices, figuring the bad choices from the good ones.
She stood there, staring back at the punching bag. Her reverie had broken her want to pummel the thing and she walked away, sitting instead on the mat. She rolled her shoulders, breathing slowly as she tried to meditate. Cherith tried to remember what her Uncle Luke told her about meditation but she still felt wired. She felt like screaming; nothing was making her comfortable or relaxed!
"Cherith?" Valin asked as he crossed the mat, "Hey, aren't you attending your grand mother's funeral? Your mom and dad are already there,"
Cherith shrugged, grabbing her towel on the bench and wiping away sweat, "I don't want to go," she whispered.
"Why not?" Valin simply asked, trying to understand her.
"Because...I don't want to," Cherith shot back, "It's fine, Val. There isn't a law that says you have to attend a funeral when you don't want to."
Valin nodded, sitting down on the mat next to her, "I know you two were close; you always went to her for advice...Are you sure you don't want to go?"
Cherith huffed and turned to him, "Are you going?"
"Yes," he said, "I didn't know her very well but it's the right thing to do,"
"I don't want to go," she repeated, "I don't want to sit there and watch a bunch of people talk about her, and then expect me to say something about her. I don't want to be put on the spot like that...I don't want," Cherith choked as a small tear dropped from her eye; it didn't surprise her to see it but she was still angry at herself for letting it happen. "I don't want them to see me fall apart like this,"
Valin shrugged and moved closer to her, placing his arm around her shoulder, "It's a natural reaction, Cherith. I would be concerned if you didn't show any emotion,"
She nodded, "No, it's not right," Cherith paused and bit her lip, "The last time I saw her, she pushed me to talk about my feelings for you,"
"Your birthday,"
"The dance was her idea," she admitted, "All those times I talked with her, I never hinted about my feelings for you but she knew how much you meant to me,"
Valin smiled, kissing her cheek, "If you don't want to go, I won't go. That's the way it goes, Cherith. I wouldn't want to push you to do anything you don't want to do, but this is your last chance to say goodbye to her. After today, you'll never have that chance again. So, I'd take it,"
Cherith nodded, "I want to say goodbye to her, I want her to come back but I know that's not possible. Saying goodbye means she's not coming back," she paused and smiled wryly, "I don't want to miss this chance, Val. I need to say goodbye."
Valin stood up first from the mat, and then extended his hand to her. Cherith smiled and slipped hers into his, helping her from the mat and they continued to hold hands as they left the gym.
Chapter 13, Post 3
Syal Antilles scowled as she stood staring at herself in the mirror. Unlike her little sister, she hated dresses. Behind her, Myri danced around the room, oblivious to her sister's bad attitude. Why did she even have to wear a dress? Dresses were stupid and it wasn't even a pretty dress...The minute that thought entered her mind she was being too picky about the dress she despised so much, Syal did the one thing she could only think of to resolve the situation.
"Daaadddy!!!" Syal yelled.
Myri stopped dancing and quickly moved to the bed, sitting obediently, hands folded in her lap, horrified she was in trouble.
Wedge rushed into the room a minute later, his collar still not fixed. "What is it? What's the problem?"
Syal crossed her arms defiantly, her eye narrowed, "Why do I have to wear a dress? Daddy, I hate dresses! This isn't a party we're attending, so why do I have to wear a dress?"
Wedge moaned and slapped his face, "Syal, sweetheart, I'm not going to argue with you about this. It's only one day and a couple hours," he said and sighed, "I promise, I'll take you girls out for ice cream later after the service. Is that okay?"
Even though she was only eight years old. Syal was very mature for her age and sometimes that meant, temper tantrums. "You're bribing me," she said firmly, "Bribery works,"
He smiled, thankful he was still able to bribe his eldest daughter, using her weakness against her. Wedge started to fix his collar again as he left the room. As he walked down the hall, he heard voices in the main room. Iella was there, talking to two other people.
"Excuse me, darling," she said, "Wedge, where are you? Aren't you going to greet your niece?"
Wedge smiled and then frowned, walking calmly into the living room. He expected to see Jag and Jaina but it was his other niece. "Hello Cherith, Valin. Um Cherith, where's your parents?"
Cherith shrugged, "Mom and dad are already at the service," she said and looked at Valin, "We just wanted to stop by, I wanted to stop by and see my cousins."
"Syal's a bit fussy about her dress but I was able to bribe her..." he said, receiving a glare from his wife, "I can't help it if she hates wearing dresses."
Iella rolled her eyes, glancing at the wall chrono, "Wedge, we better leave now before the everything starts. Girls!"
Myri ran out first, followed by a much calmer Syal, walking gracefully to the door. She stopped short though as she noticed Cherith and flung her arms around the girls' legs. "It's nice to see you too, Myri but I need my legs in order to leave,"
The girl nodded and then moved back, twirling and showing off her dress, "How do I look cousin Cherith?"
"Beautiful," she said, "Syal, you look nice too," Cherith bent down to her level, "To be honest, I don't like dresses that much either. Whatever your dad is planning on later, do you think we can tag along?"
"Oooh, can Cherith and Valin buy ice cream with us, daddy!" Syal cried, "Palezzee, daddy?!"
Wedge nodded and then moved aside as everyone left the apartment. Valin nudged Cherith, placing his arm around her shoulder, "That was really nice of you,"
"What was nice of me?" she questioned.
"Telling Syal she looked nice," Valin said, "I figured the whole not like dresses things came from your mom,"
Cherith shrugged, "I don't see the point in dressing up for a highly depressing occasion --- I mean, wearing something like a dress or something. I'm not a fashion queen, my friend and I don't claim to be but dresses are overrated,"
"Well, that definitely makes you Solo, a Fel," he joked and Cherith pushed him playfully as Wedge and Iella exchanged glances, watching them.
~~
Han fidgeted and tapped his foot as he waited for Luke to return with Leia. Mara stood off to the side, greeting everyone as they arrived in the hall. She turned, noted Han's nervousness and walked over to her brother-in-law. "Han, whatever is happening to Leia, I know she wouldn't be acting this way if her mother's death didn't matter to her," she said.
"I want her to be here, but I don't know. Maybe this is too much for her to handle. She lost Anakin and Jacen, she found her mother and then lost her," he said and then paused as Luke arrived. He hoped Leia followed him into the room but she didn't. Luke sighed, and then went over to his wife and Han. "She's not coming, is she?"
"Who's not coming?" a voice asked from behind. They all turned, facing Cherith and Valin, Wedge, Iella and the girls. "Who's not coming?" Cherith asked again.
"Kid, I hate to tell you this..." Han started but then someone else interrupted them, and Han froze as he stared at his wife. "Leia? Princess?"
Leia nodded and said, "I don't want to be here, Han but I know I have to be,"
Cherith glanced curiously at her uncle Luke, and then he promised to talk to her later. As he looked at his niece, Luke noted the closeness between her and Valin. He looked at Wedge and Iella, and they smiled, knowing the same secret.
"Where's Jag and Jaina?" Mara asked, interrupting the lull.
"Mom and dad are on their way," Cherith answered, and then looked at Valin, "We're going to save a seat for them now," She tugged Valin's sleeve and he followed in tow.
Luke nodded, watching Valin and Cherith as they sat together and he laughed. "Could they be anymore obvious? When did you two figure it out?"
Wedge shrugged, "It is hard not too, Luke. They arrived at our place together, and it seems, they have been inseparable for many weeks,"
"When do you think we should tell them we already know and that there's no need to hide?" Iella asked.
"We could have fun with this," Luke added, "Let them believe we don't notice,"
Mara laughed, "That's too cruel, Luke. Jag doesn't like Valin, the longer she doesn't tell him, the more he won't like it,"
He shrugged, "True but Jaina likes him,"
Han cleared his throat and the group broke up, settling down as Jag and Jaina arrived, and Kyp and Sera followed them. Kyp noted Cherith was sitting with Valin, and nodded to Sera sit near them. As they all settled down, Luke came to the podium, "Thank you all for coming. I hate funerals, I didn't like sitting through my niece's funeral but I had to but now, my mother and Leia's is dead. And the woman, we never knew growing up, we have to pay our respects," he paused and sighed, "A moment of silence, please,"
~~
"Can we please leave now?" Cherith begged Valin, for the sixth time after the service. He promised her they wouldn't stay long, promised her at least five times before but Valin lingered awhile longer, talking to his dad and offering his condolences to Cherith's family.
"Why do you want to leave so badly?" he finally asked her.
Cherith shrugged, "Because funerals are weird, and remember, my friend, I was once dead too, so it's really morbid,"
"You didn't attend your own funeral?
Cherith's face went pale and she suddenly felt sick, "Horn, can we please leave now. I don't want to be here!!"
Valin reluctantly nodded and turned slowly to leave, Cherith trailing behind him but stopped once his father called them over. Cherith muttered a Corellian curse, looked at Valin as they both turned to Corran. "Where are you two going?" he asked.
"Leaving actually," Cherith replied, "I feel – it's weird being here,"
"I understand that," Corran whispered and looked at his son. He felt a vibe between Cherith and Valin, something had changed between them...Corran's eyebrows furrowed and smiled once he realized what that something was. "You can take her to the apartment and eat something, if you want. Your mother and I will probably be here longer,"
Valin nodded and then looked at Cherith, who leaned forward and whispered, "Thank you, Master Horn,"
tbc
By obi's girl
Chapter 13, Post 1
Han fixed his collar and sleeves one more time before seeing Leia. Normally, he wouldn't wear his military uniform (he didn't think it would still fit him just right) but it seemed only appropriate for the occasion. Today was his mother in laws funeral. Han had never known the woman but earlier on in his relationship with Leia, he figured mother and daughter would be very much alike - stubborn, quick whit and the most fierce temper in the galaxy! Or maybe that came from Anakin's side, Han thought and shrugged, brushing his shoulders for any lint and then left the view of the mirror and went to Leia's room.
"Leia, sweet heart, are you ready to leave?" he called, standing outside their bedroom. She had been there for hours, not leaving the room until "everything was perfect". "Leia? Princess?" Han huffed and then finally keyed in a code, opening the door to the room.
Leia sat at the dresser, brushing her hair and humming to herself. Han turned briefly, noting that the dress he'd laid out the night before was still sitting on the bed, barely touched. //She's still grief stricken, it's understandable. //
"Honey, we don't have to go if you don't want to. But Luke wants you there, she was your mother and you should be able to say a proper goodbye,"
Leia put down her brush and turned to him suddenly, a bright smile on her face, "I saw mom a couple weeks ago. She told me about Naboo, about her sister, Luke and mine's aunt. She loved Naboo, Han. I'd never been there but I can imagine it was much like Alderaan."
Han frowned, sitting down slowly on the bed and setting the dress aside, "Leia...Princess..."
"Ever since I knew I was adopted, I had this strong instinct to find her but somehow, I never did and now she's here with us, Han. She's here with me and Luke...it wasn't the perfect reunion but she's here."
"Leia, what's wrong?" Han cried, looking incredulously at his wife. He sighed, glanced at the dress and then stood up suddenly, holding the dress in his hands. "Leia, you need to stop this! I know it's hard for you but you need to put this dress on. Luke is expecting us,"
Leia took hold of the dress, looking at the dark fabric in her hands, "Why do I need this?"
Han grumbled, "Because we're attending your mother's funeral. Leia, don't you remember? You were there with Luke in the med bay when Cilighal told us,"
Leia stared at the dress again, laughed to herself and threw it back at Han, "My mother's NOT dead, Han. I don't know what you're talking about," she paused, "And this dress is ugly. I know I couldn't have chosen it!"
"Leia, wake up! Please Leia, whatever it is you're doing, stop it,"
"I'm not doing anything Han. You're the one that's talking like a crazy old man. My mother is not dead, but she is waiting for me. I have to go to her apartment and see her," she whispered.
Han nodded, standing there as Leia fixed her hair in braids and happily left the room, on her way to her mother's apartment.
~~
Jaina studied herself in the mirror as Jag struggled to get his collar to look right. She had only seen him once don his traditional Chiss military uniform. The first time she met him was during the reception in Tofunda Bay on Ithor. They were both much younger then; Jaina was just beginning her flight career in the Rogue Squadron and Jag, he was a hotshot pilot. She smiled, remembering how he bypassed all the politicians to meet her. Thing seemed simpler then. Jaina had fewer responsibilities; she was a great pilot but she didn't play any significant role in the war against the Vong.
So much had changed now. The war, she realized could last for decades but at the moment, it didn't concern her. She smiled and turned to him, fixing his collar for him. It seemed like only yesterday she was on Naboo with Jag and her devoted handmaiden was her confidant and friend. Maybe it would have been better if Padmé had stayed as Larissa.
"I think that's enough, darling," Jag whispered and Jaina stepped away as he fixed the rest of his military uniform.
She nodded and went to sit on the edge of their bed, fidgeting and then noticed the japer snippet sitting on the dresser. "Why didn't she take it back from me?"
Jag turned to his wife and then to the dresser, fingering the necklace, "Maybe she wanted you to have it,"
"It was hers, Jag. Anakin gave it to her; he was young when it happened but it was the first real bond between them," she cried, "I don't understand why she didn't take it back,"
"Jaina?"
Jaina nodded, lulling her head as she sobbed, "I knew, Jag,"
Jag frowned, leaning off the dresser and sitting beside Jaina, "Knew what? That she was sick and dying?"
"No, I knew who she was. I had this strong feeling when I met her; something about her was familiar to me. I knew it when I snuck back to my room that first night we were together and she caught me. It reminded me of mom when she caught me and Jacen and Anakin getting into trouble and then trying to hide what we were doing,"
"Was it the Force that told you?" Jag questioned.
Jaina nodded, smiling sourly at him, "Not the Force. My heart. My heart was telling me there was something about this woman and that somehow, I was connected to her. For years, my Uncle Luke always searched for signs that we had family else where in the galaxy. But for one week, my grandmother was my handmaiden, my caretaker and I never once acknowledged that I knew her secret because I didn't want to admit it to myself,"
Jag shrugged, "Maybe you did that because you didn't want to know the truth,"
"I was stupid Jag. I yelled at her, telling her there was no way she could be my grandmother because it just wasn't possible,"
"But that was then, Jaina. Before, um, before, you had accepted her," he reasoned.
Jaina huffed, "Because it didn't feel right to leave there and have her believe I resented her. I didn't want her to believe that,"
Jag smiled, leaned in and kissed her forehead, "Somehow my love, I don't think she resents you. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have told you and returned with us,"
She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder, "It just seems like everything is falling apart because before we even get to the good things we're supposed to enjoy."
Tbc
Chapter 13, Post 2
Han leaned impatiently against the side on the hallway as he waited for his brother-in-law to answer. He started to tap his fingers on the wall and rub his chin; he couldn't understand how things had changed so quickly. Somehow Leia had blocked out the memory of mother's death and her illness, only remembering her reunion with her the first couple months after she arrived. Han grunted as Luke finally answered the door.
He stormed into the room, passing Mara and Ben as he went straight to their bedroom. He'd hoped Leia hadn't gone straight to Padmé's apartment and maybe stopped by her brother's first, but she wasn't there.
"Han, what's wrong? Where's Leia?" Luke asked.
Han turned to him, "She's gone, kid," Luke glanced at Mara, but she only shrugged, not understanding what he was saying. "I mean, she's lost it. Somehow, Leia's put herself in this little world where her mother is still alive, and her death didn't even happen,"
"Regression?" Luke questioned and sat down, "Does Jaina know about this?"
"No, I went to see if she was ready to leave. The dress I laid out for her was still on our bed and she was brushing her hair....but the way she talked Luke, it scares me. I realize she was never actually raised by the woman but this beyond denial," Han explained, "I don't know what to do, kid,"
Mara positioned Ben on her other arm, "Han, Leia's lost a lot in this war. She lost both her sons and now her mother..."
Han grumbled, "I couldn't stop any of it. I don't think what she's going through is something temporary. What if she's like this for a long time?"
"Where is Leia now?" Luke asked.
"She said she was going to see her mother, at her apartment but there's nothing there. Just boxes of her stuff and unpacked things, we haven't even gone through yet,"
Luke nodded, grabbed his cloak, "Mara, take Han and Ben ahead. Jag and Jaina, I think are already there. Whatever happens, don't tell them anything about Leia's condition. Or anyone else for that matter," he turned and looked at his brother-in-law, "I can't promise anything, Han..."
"I know kid, I know," he whispered.
~~
Cherith breathed slowly as she focused all her energy into the red punching bag. She was almost alone in the gym, if not for a few Jedi that were meditating. Somehow, Cherith never really caught onto how relaxing meditating could be or how it helped one be with the Force; she preferred other ways to calm herself. Some of those other ways included dragging out a punching bag and beating it until there wasn't anything else to beat.
It just her grandmother's death she was venting, it was everything. In a few short months, she would be a big sister; her best friends made it their personal mission to make sure she had a love life when she didn't even want them to know she already had one, and, also the fact that everyone expected her to accept everything the way things are! She didn't want to have baby brother; her grandmother was gone and there wasn't anything she could there to bring her back.
Cherith stopped hitting the bag momentarily, holding it until it stopped swinging from her punches. Above everything else, she didn't want to attend her great grandmother's funeral. It wasn't that she didn't care; she did care, a lot. It was...
It was about the first time she met Padmé, how she almost killed her because she was expecting to see her. It was about the small lunches they would have together, and Cherith would talk to her about things, private things. She had become her conscious and now, it was back to listening to her own advice instead from someone else. She didn't know anything about making choices, figuring the bad choices from the good ones.
She stood there, staring back at the punching bag. Her reverie had broken her want to pummel the thing and she walked away, sitting instead on the mat. She rolled her shoulders, breathing slowly as she tried to meditate. Cherith tried to remember what her Uncle Luke told her about meditation but she still felt wired. She felt like screaming; nothing was making her comfortable or relaxed!
"Cherith?" Valin asked as he crossed the mat, "Hey, aren't you attending your grand mother's funeral? Your mom and dad are already there,"
Cherith shrugged, grabbing her towel on the bench and wiping away sweat, "I don't want to go," she whispered.
"Why not?" Valin simply asked, trying to understand her.
"Because...I don't want to," Cherith shot back, "It's fine, Val. There isn't a law that says you have to attend a funeral when you don't want to."
Valin nodded, sitting down on the mat next to her, "I know you two were close; you always went to her for advice...Are you sure you don't want to go?"
Cherith huffed and turned to him, "Are you going?"
"Yes," he said, "I didn't know her very well but it's the right thing to do,"
"I don't want to go," she repeated, "I don't want to sit there and watch a bunch of people talk about her, and then expect me to say something about her. I don't want to be put on the spot like that...I don't want," Cherith choked as a small tear dropped from her eye; it didn't surprise her to see it but she was still angry at herself for letting it happen. "I don't want them to see me fall apart like this,"
Valin shrugged and moved closer to her, placing his arm around her shoulder, "It's a natural reaction, Cherith. I would be concerned if you didn't show any emotion,"
She nodded, "No, it's not right," Cherith paused and bit her lip, "The last time I saw her, she pushed me to talk about my feelings for you,"
"Your birthday,"
"The dance was her idea," she admitted, "All those times I talked with her, I never hinted about my feelings for you but she knew how much you meant to me,"
Valin smiled, kissing her cheek, "If you don't want to go, I won't go. That's the way it goes, Cherith. I wouldn't want to push you to do anything you don't want to do, but this is your last chance to say goodbye to her. After today, you'll never have that chance again. So, I'd take it,"
Cherith nodded, "I want to say goodbye to her, I want her to come back but I know that's not possible. Saying goodbye means she's not coming back," she paused and smiled wryly, "I don't want to miss this chance, Val. I need to say goodbye."
Valin stood up first from the mat, and then extended his hand to her. Cherith smiled and slipped hers into his, helping her from the mat and they continued to hold hands as they left the gym.
Chapter 13, Post 3
Syal Antilles scowled as she stood staring at herself in the mirror. Unlike her little sister, she hated dresses. Behind her, Myri danced around the room, oblivious to her sister's bad attitude. Why did she even have to wear a dress? Dresses were stupid and it wasn't even a pretty dress...The minute that thought entered her mind she was being too picky about the dress she despised so much, Syal did the one thing she could only think of to resolve the situation.
"Daaadddy!!!" Syal yelled.
Myri stopped dancing and quickly moved to the bed, sitting obediently, hands folded in her lap, horrified she was in trouble.
Wedge rushed into the room a minute later, his collar still not fixed. "What is it? What's the problem?"
Syal crossed her arms defiantly, her eye narrowed, "Why do I have to wear a dress? Daddy, I hate dresses! This isn't a party we're attending, so why do I have to wear a dress?"
Wedge moaned and slapped his face, "Syal, sweetheart, I'm not going to argue with you about this. It's only one day and a couple hours," he said and sighed, "I promise, I'll take you girls out for ice cream later after the service. Is that okay?"
Even though she was only eight years old. Syal was very mature for her age and sometimes that meant, temper tantrums. "You're bribing me," she said firmly, "Bribery works,"
He smiled, thankful he was still able to bribe his eldest daughter, using her weakness against her. Wedge started to fix his collar again as he left the room. As he walked down the hall, he heard voices in the main room. Iella was there, talking to two other people.
"Excuse me, darling," she said, "Wedge, where are you? Aren't you going to greet your niece?"
Wedge smiled and then frowned, walking calmly into the living room. He expected to see Jag and Jaina but it was his other niece. "Hello Cherith, Valin. Um Cherith, where's your parents?"
Cherith shrugged, "Mom and dad are already at the service," she said and looked at Valin, "We just wanted to stop by, I wanted to stop by and see my cousins."
"Syal's a bit fussy about her dress but I was able to bribe her..." he said, receiving a glare from his wife, "I can't help it if she hates wearing dresses."
Iella rolled her eyes, glancing at the wall chrono, "Wedge, we better leave now before the everything starts. Girls!"
Myri ran out first, followed by a much calmer Syal, walking gracefully to the door. She stopped short though as she noticed Cherith and flung her arms around the girls' legs. "It's nice to see you too, Myri but I need my legs in order to leave,"
The girl nodded and then moved back, twirling and showing off her dress, "How do I look cousin Cherith?"
"Beautiful," she said, "Syal, you look nice too," Cherith bent down to her level, "To be honest, I don't like dresses that much either. Whatever your dad is planning on later, do you think we can tag along?"
"Oooh, can Cherith and Valin buy ice cream with us, daddy!" Syal cried, "Palezzee, daddy?!"
Wedge nodded and then moved aside as everyone left the apartment. Valin nudged Cherith, placing his arm around her shoulder, "That was really nice of you,"
"What was nice of me?" she questioned.
"Telling Syal she looked nice," Valin said, "I figured the whole not like dresses things came from your mom,"
Cherith shrugged, "I don't see the point in dressing up for a highly depressing occasion --- I mean, wearing something like a dress or something. I'm not a fashion queen, my friend and I don't claim to be but dresses are overrated,"
"Well, that definitely makes you Solo, a Fel," he joked and Cherith pushed him playfully as Wedge and Iella exchanged glances, watching them.
~~
Han fidgeted and tapped his foot as he waited for Luke to return with Leia. Mara stood off to the side, greeting everyone as they arrived in the hall. She turned, noted Han's nervousness and walked over to her brother-in-law. "Han, whatever is happening to Leia, I know she wouldn't be acting this way if her mother's death didn't matter to her," she said.
"I want her to be here, but I don't know. Maybe this is too much for her to handle. She lost Anakin and Jacen, she found her mother and then lost her," he said and then paused as Luke arrived. He hoped Leia followed him into the room but she didn't. Luke sighed, and then went over to his wife and Han. "She's not coming, is she?"
"Who's not coming?" a voice asked from behind. They all turned, facing Cherith and Valin, Wedge, Iella and the girls. "Who's not coming?" Cherith asked again.
"Kid, I hate to tell you this..." Han started but then someone else interrupted them, and Han froze as he stared at his wife. "Leia? Princess?"
Leia nodded and said, "I don't want to be here, Han but I know I have to be,"
Cherith glanced curiously at her uncle Luke, and then he promised to talk to her later. As he looked at his niece, Luke noted the closeness between her and Valin. He looked at Wedge and Iella, and they smiled, knowing the same secret.
"Where's Jag and Jaina?" Mara asked, interrupting the lull.
"Mom and dad are on their way," Cherith answered, and then looked at Valin, "We're going to save a seat for them now," She tugged Valin's sleeve and he followed in tow.
Luke nodded, watching Valin and Cherith as they sat together and he laughed. "Could they be anymore obvious? When did you two figure it out?"
Wedge shrugged, "It is hard not too, Luke. They arrived at our place together, and it seems, they have been inseparable for many weeks,"
"When do you think we should tell them we already know and that there's no need to hide?" Iella asked.
"We could have fun with this," Luke added, "Let them believe we don't notice,"
Mara laughed, "That's too cruel, Luke. Jag doesn't like Valin, the longer she doesn't tell him, the more he won't like it,"
He shrugged, "True but Jaina likes him,"
Han cleared his throat and the group broke up, settling down as Jag and Jaina arrived, and Kyp and Sera followed them. Kyp noted Cherith was sitting with Valin, and nodded to Sera sit near them. As they all settled down, Luke came to the podium, "Thank you all for coming. I hate funerals, I didn't like sitting through my niece's funeral but I had to but now, my mother and Leia's is dead. And the woman, we never knew growing up, we have to pay our respects," he paused and sighed, "A moment of silence, please,"
~~
"Can we please leave now?" Cherith begged Valin, for the sixth time after the service. He promised her they wouldn't stay long, promised her at least five times before but Valin lingered awhile longer, talking to his dad and offering his condolences to Cherith's family.
"Why do you want to leave so badly?" he finally asked her.
Cherith shrugged, "Because funerals are weird, and remember, my friend, I was once dead too, so it's really morbid,"
"You didn't attend your own funeral?
Cherith's face went pale and she suddenly felt sick, "Horn, can we please leave now. I don't want to be here!!"
Valin reluctantly nodded and turned slowly to leave, Cherith trailing behind him but stopped once his father called them over. Cherith muttered a Corellian curse, looked at Valin as they both turned to Corran. "Where are you two going?" he asked.
"Leaving actually," Cherith replied, "I feel – it's weird being here,"
"I understand that," Corran whispered and looked at his son. He felt a vibe between Cherith and Valin, something had changed between them...Corran's eyebrows furrowed and smiled once he realized what that something was. "You can take her to the apartment and eat something, if you want. Your mother and I will probably be here longer,"
Valin nodded and then looked at Cherith, who leaned forward and whispered, "Thank you, Master Horn,"
tbc