She set out for Corus two days later, determined to visit her brother, and to go and say a final goodbye to Alex. Traitor or not, she had still loved him, and she needed to say goodbye. The dream still haunted her, it would not leave her mind. The first thing she thought of when she woke was Alanna's fist crashing into Alex's throat, and it was the last thing she thought of at night. She used her Gift to keep herself awake, though it was not strong, and she used it to give her horse the strength to go on longer. She needed to get to Corus, before the sight of Alex's death drove her insane.
To pass the time, on the long, lonely road west, skipping past Naxen and onto the Great Road, she remembered.
"Hello, Alex," she whispered shyly. The sixteen-year-old young man spun around.
"Kiala!" he exclaimed. She smiled. "It's been ages. How are you?"
"I'm fine," she murmured. "And you?"
"I'm all right." He seemed pleased to see her, which was definitely a good thing. Kiala didn't know how she got up the courage to talk to him in the first place. She was madly in love with him. He haunted her every thought, and at night she dreamed of him. "Kiala, you know Duke Roger? You remember… you met him last time, remember, two or three years ago?"
"Yes," she said softly, meeting his eyes. He had grown, but so had she, and he was now only four or five inches taller than her. She tucked her thick chestnut hair behind her ears.
"He asked me to be his squire." Alex sounded proud. "Not long after you left."
"That's great!" she exclaimed. She knew that being the squire to an momentous man like Duke Roger would be very important to Alex. But… she had not been sure she liked Roger, when she had met him. He had seemed cold and… and nasty, to her. But Alex liked him. And that was all that mattered to her.
"You're wearing the brooch," he noted with a small smile. She smiled back.
"And the necklace," was her reply, as she took hold of the chain and lifted the silver bird-claw out. "I really like them, Alex. I wear them all the time."
He smiled.
Raoul appeared, a huge grin on his face. "Kiala," he greeted her happily, sweeping her into his usual massive hug. She smiled and hugged him back, her gaze torn away from Alex's dark eyes.
She was on the road for several days, passing the time reminiscing of all the time she had spent with Alex. Most of the memories made tears fill her eyes. She still couldn't bring herself to accept that Alex was… dead. Gone. She couldn't think of a future without him. Most of her life, Alex had been her future. She had not really thought of it as a dream, more like something that was bound to happen, something that had to happen for her to be complete.
Now it would never happen. Alex's life had been cut off, like a candle blown out, or like snow in the warmth of the sun. There was nobody around to hear Kiala's scream of frustration, anger and grief, none except her horse, who snickered, startled. Kiala shrieked again and again, letting out the fury and anguish that threatened to overcome her.
~*~
Corus was as crowded as she remembered it. The last time she had been in this part of the city, she had been permitted to wander through the market stalls and shops with her brother, Alex, and their friends, Gary, Prince Jonathan, and Alan. She grimaced without realising it. Alan- Alanna- Alex's killer. She had been friendly to the purple-eyed young 'lad', thinking he was a pleasant, normal young man. That was when he was still a page, just before Alex went away with Roger. She remembered it clearly. The Prince had been nice enough, but she had never worked up the courage to call him Jon, as the others did. Perhaps he would remember her. Maybe Gary would remember her, too. He had bought her a cup of lemonade when the heat began to get to her.
She rode through the streets, keeping a close eye out for pickpockets. She didn't know who would be in court at that time; but she dearly hoped Alanna had left. She did not want to see that woman at all. Silently she cursed those purple eyes and quick fists that had killed Alex.
The palace was somewhat bigger than she remembered. Probably, she reasoned, because she was several years older than she had been, and she had grown a lot in those several years. A pair of guards stopped her at the gate.
"Palace entry restricted, ma'am," one said respectfully. "You've heard about what's happened. We'll need your name," he added, almost apologetically.
"I am Lady Kiala of Goldenlake," she said, sitting up straight in her saddle. "I am here to visit my brother, Sir Raoul, who I hear was injured in the battle."
"Oh," the second guard said. "Apologies, Lady Kiala. Go on in. Your horse will be stabled."
"Thankyou," she replied delicately. "Where might I find my brother?"
"With the healers, I'd believe, my Lady. I heard his leg was given a good knocking."
"All right," she said sadly. "Thankyou."
"Anytime, Lady Kiala." The gate swung open, and she nudged her horse into a trot forward through. A couple of stablehands hurried to take the tired horse. Kiala slipped out of the saddle and swayed on the spot, forgetting her exhaustion in her hurry.
"Are you all right, my Lady?" one of the hands asked, a little concerned.
"Yes," she sighed, as the feeling of dizziness passed. "Just a little tired. I've been riding hard."
She ascended the stairs and into the palace. Many people were hurrying around anxiously, clearing up after the battle still, rearranging the last of the disrupted ornaments and cleaning the walls and floors thoroughly. She stopped one of the frantic servants.
"Could you direct me to the healers' area, please?" she asked. The young man nodded.
"Down that corridor to the end, then turn right twice, and you'll see the big door. Watch out for the blood," he added, "we haven't cleaned down there yet, and there was a skirmish."
Wrinkling her nose slightly, Kiala set off down the corridor, and turned right as the man had said, avoiding the puddle of congealed, smelly blood on the floor. The healing area was just ahead: a large room, with rooms to the side. People lay in beds, recuperating, and healers dashed around nervously. Kiala estimated there to be about five or six healers, plus novices. She stopped one of them.
"Excuse me- is Sir Raoul still in here?" she asked, the tone of her voice and her trembling hands betraying her anxiety. The girl, not much older than Kiala herself, nodded and pointed.
"He's in the room there. Watch out- he's very crotchety." She giggled very nervously. "He insists he's fine, but I know he can't stand on that leg."
"All right. Thankyou." Kiala wove her way in and out of beds and people, into the room the girl had pointed out.
She recognised her brother's curly, dark hair immediately. He was sitting up in bed, gazing out of the window, looking very bored. She darted down the room to stand a little way away from the bed. He didn't turn around.
"Raoul," she said very quietly. He jumped and turned, and his eyes went very wide.
"K-Kiala?" he gasped. She smiled tightly, her eyes damp.
"Hello, Raoul," she whispered. "I came as soon as I heard." He held out his arms, and she fell into his familiar bear-hug. "Are you all right?" she whispered. "I was so worried…"
"I'm fine," he told her gently, letting her go. "They won't let me up. But Kiala… I'm sorry. Alex…"
"I know," she interrupted, her eyes filling. "They told me."
"Kiala, I know how you felt about him… I'm sorry. If I could have…"
"You couldn't," she said hoarsely, not letting him finish. "Alanna had no choice." She swallowed. "C-can we talk about something else?"
"Of course. Sit down." He patted the bed near his feet, and she sat shakily. Her brother winced very slightly, and Kiala's eyes widened. "Don't look so worried, I'm all right…"
"I felt it," she said quietly. "The day you got hurt. I felt it." She didn't tell him about the dream that had accompanied the pain. It didn't seem necessary.
"Kiala… Kiala…" Alex's voice was sing-song, joking. She jumped and turned around, and smiled.
"Alex… you startled me."
"I meant to," he said with a chuckle. "Kiala, I'm doing my Ordeal soon. In a month or so."
"You're going to be a knight?!" she spluttered. "Oh, Alex, that's wonderful! I had no idea it was so soon!" He laughed again, and she beamed at him. Sir Alexander, she thought. It sounded nice. Much nicer than just plain Alex. She sighed. She had seen the way the ladies doted on him. And they were all so pretty. Plain, boring little Kiala had no chance.