VI - The Tree of Knowledge
Hanging oneself from the world tree was a bit more problematic than Mystina had originally postulated.
It was from these very branches that Odin had hung himself for eight days in order to receive the world's knowledge. She was beginning to wonder if he'd had help tying his knots.
Attempt after attempt met with the resounding thud of failure. The rope slipped. A branch broke. The ropes weren't distributing her weight properly. She was starting to consider putting up a hammock and hoping for the best. But eventually, after many initial false starts and rope burns, she'd finally managed to hang herself upside down from the ankles.
She couldn't feel her feet anymore, but that was a minor issue. She wasn't one to let a little discomfort stop her from attaining the greatest knowledge of magic, the universe, and everything to be had outside of the Philosopher's Stone. She thought of her old classmates, colleagues, and teachers, and snickered to herself. They would be so jealous.
Here she awaited enlightenment. The knowledge of the gods. Her mind spun in anticipation of the secrets of the universe that would be revealed to her. Naturally, she was quite surprised when someone pushed her from behind, setting her swinging.
"Why Mysty, so nice to see you hanging around."
She recognized the voice. And the lame puns. "Lezard!"
"Hmph. You're not very courteous to your old friends anymore. Valkyrie lets you into Asgard and all of a sudden you're too good to associate with the likes of me. I'm very hurt." His upside-down smirk swung in and out of her field of vision.
"Let me down!" She snapped as the world dipped and reeled around her. She felt nauseous, and unsure whether from vertigo or the present company. "Now that you've broken my concentration I'll have to start all over again!"
Her stomach lurched as her trajectory was intercepted when Lezard caught her around her waist. Her skin crawled as his hands slid up her legs to undo the knots around her ankles. After she tumbled ungracefully to the ground, she picked herself up and readjusted her skirt in as dignified a manner as she could muster.
"Did you always wear bloomers?"
"Shut up!" Mystina snarled as she spun to face Lezard. She had known him for most of her life, ever since their first classes at the Flenceburg Academy. The years had not made him any less of an annoying little shit.
She decided not to humor him by asking why he'd come. Lezard predictably ignored her irritation, which only served to increase it. Everything he did annoyed her, but it was his arrogance that made him truly intolerable. Mystina could never stand that quality in any but herself.
Some might think it odd that she found his puns and personality more irritating than the fact that he'd killed her. If anything, the only thing that truly angered Mystina about that incident was that she had Lezard to thank for granting her all the freedoms that the spirit world had to offer. Nor did she have to wrestle with unknowable questions of the purpose of existence and life. She was an Einherjar, and above such lowly mortal concerns. Although, she did speculate that Lezard existed only to irk her. However, he had said that she had been a threat to him. That was one of the most flattering things she'd ever heard spoken about her.
Eventually, she couldn't stare at his stupid grin any longer in silence. "Well?"
He blinked in feigned innocence. "Well what?"
"What are you doing here?!" she said through clenched teeth. There were few things that could overcome Mystina's curiosity, and patience was not one of them. Only the gods and the humans that they chose could walk freely in Asgard. How could he possibly be here? Was he truly a god now? Or had Lenneth had a change of heart about him? Wouldn't she know better? This was Lezard, for the love of all things holy. He was the socially inept geek that got kicked in the hallways and never had dates for the school dances. Maybe he'd finally learned how to cast a working love spell. If the day ever came when Lezard Valeth could seduce a goddess, Mystina vowed she would become a goddess of chastity.
"I thought you'd never ask. I have a message for my goddess," he said. "I'd give it to her in person, but this wouldn't be a good time. I hardly think my presence would be welcome in her court."
So now she was being used to pass on a note like back when they were school kids. Mystina had to roll her eyes at this. Some boys never grew up. "Oh, do you want me ask her friends if she likes you? And should I ask her if she thinks you're cute?" she sneered.
"Are you jealous, Mysty?"
"Please. I doubt Valkyrie would want anything to do with you if she had any sense."
"More sense than you? You're still talking to me."
"You were the one who started talking to me! And don't think I ever considered you my friend!"
"Ah, it's a pity to see a beautiful relationship torn asunder by time and circumstance. At least we'll always have our beautiful memories of the storage closet in the alchemy lab."
Mystina had to think about that for a moment. "That wasn't you!"
"It was very dark in there, wasn't it? Ah, my sweet, I never imagined you were such a creature of passion to rival any love goddess. Everything I'd ever seen scribbled on the bathroom walls was true, and more."
"You lying snake!"
He dismissed her with a smirk and a wave of his hand. "You can believe whatever suits you. It's no matter to me."
This time, Mystina was determined to not give the impression of being flustered. He had to be lying. And even if he wasn't . . . well, it's not like that made him special or anything.
There had once been rumors about the two of them. There always were. Mystina had always been keenly aware of her reputation. The other girls looked down on her for talking to him, but she'd recognized his genius. He was possibly even smarter than she was. She had even admired him because he never seemed to care what anyone thought of him. He was possibly the only person she'd met in her entire career at the academy that she'd found genuinely interesting. The girls in her class were too easily obsessed over silly social nonsense. None of them operated with any degree of self-awareness. They were fixated on their place, and doing what was expected of them. Boys weren't much different, but they had the added amusing quality of being easily manipulated. For all their academic prowess and pretentious posturing, they were all the same when she wore that certain skirt, or the blouse with the low neckline. Lorenta had given her numerous upbraidings because of the clothes she wore, the stodgy old hag. They became her toys to do what she pleased with. And did she ever have fun. But it had always been on her terms. They were nothing but passing interests, to be set aside when something else caught her attention. Life was too short to spend it with boring people, and everyone bored her eventually.
She hadn't understood at the time why she tried so hard to save Valkyrie, why she resorted to accepting Lezard's help. The only one she'd ever considered a friend had been Valkyrie. But it was better that she'd broken from her service to her. Valkyrie didn't need her help any more that she needed hers now. She'd left to pursue her dreams and knowledge, and no mere friendship could ever compete with that. And at any rate this was water under the bridge. There was no point in dwelling on it.
"So what do you want? I have better things to do than stand here listening to you tease me. You're being rude, making me wait like this. What's your point?" Mystina glared at Lezard.
"As I stated before you derailed the conversation. I have a message for my lovely Valkyrie."
"Don't repeat yourself! I already know that! Just get to the point and tell me what it is!" Mystina found herself quickly becoming furious with Lezard. And furious with herself for letting him push her buttons.
"I want you to tell her that I haven't forgotten about her."
"And?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is that supposed to be important? Meaningful? Worth paying a shred of attention to? Is it supposed to be a threat? A proposition?"
"Now you're just being catty, Mysty."
"What makes you think that I plan on even seeing Valkyrie again? I hadn't planned on going back. She doesn't need me any more, and she doesn't have anything I need anymore. And those other people were so dreadfully boring."
She had to give Lezard credit for one thing: he would never, ever bore her. Even his delusions of grandeur were amusing. "And you know, you're an even bigger egomaniac than I thought if you think she's interested in you in the least."
"Are you just upset that you might not be every man's ultimate ideal woman?"
"Piss off."
"Incidentally, do you suppose she'd be interested in acquiring the soul of the Dark Valkyrie? I've heard the other one is quite interested in it these days."
The sudden change of subject caught Mystina off guard. "What have you done? Why would you mess around with that old bitch?"
She remembered Hrist, the dark valkyrie. She had taken their Valkyrie's place for a time. Mystina hadn't really noticed how kind Lenneth had been until Hrist had taken her place. She actually missed the uptight, honor-bound ice queen. She had been cold and serious, but she had the decency to treat her and the rest of her Einherjar as more than just pawns in the war of the gods. Hrist had treated them as her own personal tools. She expected absolute obedience without doing anything to deserve it. She was strong and competent. But hadn't Valkyrie been also?
There was something about Hrist that made Mystina immediately hate her. She had been nearly as big of a bitch as Lorenta. Arngrim seemed none to fond of her, but he shut down when she had touched on the subject. She had left him alone and not pursued the subject further. Arngrim was generally not worth speaking to anyway. He was just an swordsman with limited intellectual faculties, one who deserved nothing better than to be treated as a mere tool of the gods.
It was when she realized that Valkyrie was actually wrestling with questions of existence that she'd felt a strange sort of kinship for her. She was curious; she was more than the unfeeling, blindly-devoted death goddess she'd first taken her for. She wanted to expand her knowledge and understand the workings of the universe, at least so far as they applied to her. It somehow warmed her to think that Valkyrie had been a victim of the gods who cruelly kept knowledge all to themselves, just any common dweller in Midgard. And to think she might know more than the Valkyrie. That was an interesting concept.
Something about what Lezard had said struck her as off. The other one? "Lezard, what other one?"
"The third and youngest goddess of destiny, Silmeria."
"But how can that be? Brahms destroyed Hrist when she tried to free her."
"WE destroyed Hrist. He's released Silmeria from her bondage."
"That was stupid of him. He could have used her as a pawn if he wanted to move against Valkyrie."
"I very much doubt how much Valkyrie actually cares for her old companions. It seems that they would be much more of a hindrance to her now. And from what I understand Silmeria was practically useless as a servant anyhow. Why Hrist would waste her time trying to get her back is beyond me."
"Unless they were just trying to save face. Gods tend not to like it when uppity Midgard-dwellers think they can do what they like with them." She gave Lezard a pointed look.
"I would never have let such a treasure out of my grasp, but oh well."
"You can't treat the gods like dolls, Lezard."
"Why, Mysty, I thought I'd never be honored with your beneficent words of wisdom. And who was it that became an Einherjar just to learn the secrets of the gods? At least I have reliable sources."
"I still have a hard time imagining you sacrificing the philosopher's stone."
"You would never understand why one might prefer their own life to infinite knowledge."
She did not refute him.
"A new world order is arising. Only some of us are able to see it for the golden opportunity that it is. I suppose you're not interested in such petty matters." He leaned nonchalantly against the gnarled trunk of the world tree. The branches cast eerie shadows across his face.
"Ooh, is that your 'scheming face' I'm seeing? Surely the great and terrible necromancer is above seeking allies with little old me. On the other hand, I was valedictorian, you know." They had been fierce rivals for as long as they'd been in the academy, constantly trying to show each other up to see who was at the top of the class. In the end she'd won, but only because he had been expelled. The school had kept secret the exact nature of the experiment that had gotten him booted out, but she had never bothered to ask. It was old dirt, and very few things surprised her anymore. "What happened, Lezard? Why the sudden interest in Hrist?"
"Hel's minions are on Midgard. I believe she's after the remaining soul shards of the dark valkyrie."
"And you can't be bothered to deal with them, so you're hoping that I might if you peaked my curiosity, right?"
"Hmph."
"You're bad at this, Lezard. If you want to manipulate people to your whim, you should probably start with someone stupid who doesn't know you well, and work up from there."
"I never claimed to be a Loki."
"He was better looking than you anyway." Lezard was many things, but never a good judge of character. He just didn't deal well with others. He would never be as good as she was at manipulating men, but he probably wouldn't want to be either. She could when she had a mind to, but most often she found that people weren't worth bothering with.
"And now I suppose you'll say it doesn't matter if I help you or not."
"Well . . . yes, actually."
"Hmph."
"Don't look so smug. Do you think you were my first choice?"
Mystina was insulted, and he knew it. She positively radiated indignance. "Perhaps you've got some lovely young waif deluded into helping you? I guess I'm just too old for your tastes now."
"Now Mysty. You're completely one hundred eighty degrees from correct."
"What?"
"I already have one sorcerer aiding me in my current endeavors, who is most assuredly neither young nor lovely. You have three guesses."
"I hate you."
"I thought he could be useful. And it is the least I could do. I consider it an act of charity. He is my father, you know."
There had been rumors back at the academy. That Lezard was the son of the infamous wizard Gandor. He never talked about it. Perhaps he might not have been aware of it himself. Mystina had thought it all nonsense. Gandar was a battle mage of Villnore, and there had been very public disagreements between Villnore's policies on magic and the academy's. Even so, it was still the best and most advanced school in the world. The only place, some would say, for a prodigy like Lezard. After all, everyone knows that home-schooled children can grow up to be poorly socialized.
Or maybe Lezard had come to Flenceburg because his mother didn't want him to turn out like his father. Poor woman. He was so much worse than Gandar ever was.
She had wondered what kind of people could create such a freak as Lezard. It was said that Lady Valeth never went out of her tower. Some said that her husband had kept her captive there. Some said she was insane. Some said that she was a powerful sorceress herself. Some said that she was cursed by the gods, or a god herself. Some said that she had killed herself. Some said that Lezard had killed her. Some said that her body was still in the tower somewhere, another subject of Lezard's abominable experiments. Some say he'd hidden her body somewhere else. But these were just idle rumors. However, as much as she'd deny it, Mystina had a keen ear for that sort of talk. Rumors were generally so much more interesting than the dull reality of life.
"Lezard, what are you up to these days?"
He smiled. "Treating goddesses like dolls, of course."
"You're doing something with Hrist, aren't you?" She recalled that when he'd sealed Valkyrie's soul into the homunculus vessel, he had needed her assistance with the ritual. Was he planning on doing the same thing to the Dark Valkyrie? "What would you stand to gain?"
"Surely one goddess is as good as another. If Valkyrie won't have me, I'll just have to find a reasonable facsimile."
"And you got Gandar to go along with this?"
"He's already on his way to Alfheim to obtain an elf to craft the vessel from."
"This is insane." As soon as she uttered it, she realized that it was self-evident.
"Well, yes and no. It wasn't really even my idea. "Slimeria, the Valkyrie of Dawn, had commissioned me to craft a vessel to contain Hrist's soul."
"She must be desperate. And I don't even want to know what she promised to do for you in return."
"Aren't we the bawdy little minx? Does it seem so impossible that I would help someone out of the goodness of my heart?"
"Riiiiight. You're afraid to anger Brahms by angering her if you refuse, aren't you?"
"I am not the least concerned with that bloodsucking fossil. Anyone who would resort to such a distasteful method of gaining immortality has no sense or style. There are plenty of better ways. I care nothing about Brahms or Beliza or any of those wretched nightwalkers. They're no better than demons."
"Then why are you scared of him?"
"What on earth gave you that impression, Mysty?"
"I can still read you like a book, Lezard. But don't worry, I wouldn't think of missing out on whatever it is you're scheming. But in my own time. I have things to take care of first."
"Very well. I suppose our business is concluded. I'll leave you to your silly tree-hugging."
"I have a favor to ask before you go."
"Mm?"
"Would you tie me up?"
"Why Mysty, and to think you accused me of having scandalous fetishes."