Warning: Still 1+2. SEE! I told ya it'd get better! Sorry for the delay,
much work to be done along w/ illness and surgery have kept me from writing
for a while. Currently I have the next and LAST chapter started. 4 pages
into it. Hopefully I shall post it soon. Sorry for the delay and ENJOY!
Heero awoke the next morning at a normal Heero time of 6:30 am, but he lay in bed. Wishing it had all been a dream. Wishing he hadn't acted upon the feelings he had for Duo, and also wishing that Quatre hadn't seen him in such an uncontrolled state. He had thoughts of lying in bed forever and never having to see Duo's disgusted face again, but at 12:30, his hunger got to him. He went downstairs to the kitchen, where he saw Quatre quietly sipping tea at the table.
Quatre was acting very un-Quatre like. He calmly sipped his tea with his eyes closed, and said only "Good morning" in a smooth even tone as Heero entered the kitchen. Heero, of course, was too depressed and tired to notice (his nightmares woke him up more then once the night before). He got himself some coffee, a big change compared to his normal orange juice. He took his mug to the table and sat across from Quatre, who still sipped his tea.
"I never thought it'd be you." Heero looked up at him in confusion. Quatre was staring into his tea as if it held all the answers. "I guess... I guess it must have been the hair."
"What?"
"This morning, while you were still in bed, I asked Duo about what had happened."
"WHAT!?"
"I'm sorry Heero, but I also told him about what you," he swallowed hard at the thought of the previous night. "What you tried to do."
Things quieted down for a moment, and Quatre went back to his tea as Heero sat thinking. After a short period of silence, Quatre looked up at him. "You know Heero? I never thought it'd be you. Out if everyone in this house, I never thought, in a million years that it would be you. In fact, I always thought Duo would be gay."
Heero sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I'm not gay."
"Oh come on Heero, you made a pass at Duo."
"So?"
"That means you liked him, and probably for quite some time, since you never do stuff like that unless you think good will come of it. Meaning, you thought about it in advance."
A slight blush came over his face. Who knew Quatre knew him so well? Once Heero realized that, he wished for the good old days. The days when, if one got too close to you, you had the right to kill them for the missions sake. Alas, Heero is on no mission, so the blonde must live... and continue to talk.
"I got you now, don't I? You're blushing, which means I'm right." He said with a huge grin.
"Hn."
"Heero, it's ok. I mean you're not alone in this world, or even in this house."
"What?"
"Well Heero, its not just you." Quatre got up out of his seat and turned away from Heero, looking out a window. "Maybe it was the war, or growing up around so many women, but that's not the point." He turned back around and they locked eyes. "Heero, if loving someone is a crime, then I deserve life in prison."
"Quatre, what are you saying?"
"You love Duo."
"NO I DON'T!" His blush returned and he accidentally spoke much louder then he intended to.
"Yes you do, you love Duo. Just like I......" Quatre's face became pink and rosy and he turned slightly away from Heero in a failed attempt at covering it. "love Trowa."
Heero's jaw practically fell off. "Your gay? And so is Trowa?" Quatre nodded. "Does Duo know?"
"No, I don't believe he does."
"What about Wu Fei? Does he know?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't he?"
"How did he react to it? I'm honestly surprised you could tell Wu Fei that and still be alive."
"Well Heero, Wu Fei has no right to judge. At least we picked a gender." He said with a playful jab of his elbow and a wink of his eye.
"Wait, what? Wu Fei is....."
"Bi." Heero sat stunned for a few moments. "He was in love with Treize."
"Treize? But, didn't he kill Treize?"
"It was the worst mistake of his life, and he regrets it everyday. Heero, I know it's a little much to take in all at once, but it's the truth. You're not weird, or sick, or anything like that. Your fine." Quatre was trying his best to comfort Heero, and his attempts were beginning to make an impact. "Just because Duo chooses to live a certain way that's different from yours does not give him the right to say anything that he did, and I'm sure he didn't mean it."
Heero's eyes lit up when Quatre said that Duo may not have meant all the cruel hurtful things that he had said. "He was probably just startled and had never been put in that position. It was most likely just a simple matter of not knowing how to act."
May. Probably. Most likely. Heero began to hear past the comfort to what was not being said. This was all Quatre's opinion, not truth. Yet, the truth was sad and uncomfortable. Quatre's opinion had so much more light and hope to it. He thought about his dreams the previous night. The comfort Quatre had given him. "Thank you Quatre, you're a true friend."
Quatre was taken slightly aback, but replied with a smile "Thank you." They sat in silence for a short time, until Heero could no longer keep quiet (isn't that odd?).
"I don't know why it bothers me so much. I'm not used to this Quatre, why can't I just let it go?"
"It seems to me that you have great feelings for Duo. That this is more then some crush."
That sentence triggered Heero's memory. "Well Heero, you do have a crush on her. And a pretty bad one at that. In fact I would say that your falling for her."
"What do you mean falling for her? You don't mean, love?"
"Or something pretty close to it. You got it bad Yuy."
"Love?" He whispered his question forgetting that ears were present to listen.
"What? Love? What about it?"
"Quatre, you don't think it's....." He stopped mid sentence. No need to finish, his point was clear.
"I can't say Heero. Only you can."
"If it is, will I be ok?"
Quatre began to laugh at this naïve side to Heero. "Of course you will."
"No, I mean, if Duo doesn't feel the same way. Will I be ok?"
Quatre's smile faded. "I would think so, but I cannot say."
Heero got up from his chair. "Thank you Quatre."
"I'm here whenever you need me Heero."
Heero gave Quatre a knowing nod and then set off to try and get some work done during his very short day.
The whole day Heero thought about the events of the past days. How things could change so much so quickly. Everything was fine two days ago. Duo would talk to him. Nicely. Normally. He thought of how his own feelings had done all of this. That he was to blame. That a crush had done this. Then he began to wonder. If this was more then a crush, how much more damage could it do? What else could he be responsible for? "I can't love him."
That night Heero went out to his balcony at 11:55 p.m. He knew Duo wouldn't be out there, but it was a good place to think. Heero opened his balcony door and took a half of a step out. He stopped. He was wrong. Duo was out there, sitting on his own balcony rail. Heero's heart began to beat quickly, forcefully. A cold sweat came over his body as he anticipated the brutality that was about to occur. Duo turned his head and took a quick glance at Heero. He then got up and started to walk toward his door.
"Umm Duo I..." Duo stopped mid-step and listened, his back to Heero. "Goodnight."
He didn't expect an answer, in fact he didn't even expect himself to say anything. Then again tonight seemed to be everything but what he expected. "Goodnight Heero."
Duo walked into his room and closed his door without a second look back. Heero stood shocked. There was no hatred, no resentment in Duo's voice. There was no point in being outside. It only led to more confusion, so Heero turned and went back in. He got ready for bed, thinking how he had thought all day. "I can't love him." He went to his bathroom and got cleaned up for bed.
He began to take off his shirt. "I don't love him." He threw his shirt into his hamper, along with his socks. He turned the covers down and got into his bed. Gathering the blankets up around his head, he turned onto his side.
"Damnit, I love him." Sleep came slowly to him that night. He thought, and when he finally slept, his thoughts continued into a dream.
Heero awoke the next morning at a normal Heero time of 6:30 am, but he lay in bed. Wishing it had all been a dream. Wishing he hadn't acted upon the feelings he had for Duo, and also wishing that Quatre hadn't seen him in such an uncontrolled state. He had thoughts of lying in bed forever and never having to see Duo's disgusted face again, but at 12:30, his hunger got to him. He went downstairs to the kitchen, where he saw Quatre quietly sipping tea at the table.
Quatre was acting very un-Quatre like. He calmly sipped his tea with his eyes closed, and said only "Good morning" in a smooth even tone as Heero entered the kitchen. Heero, of course, was too depressed and tired to notice (his nightmares woke him up more then once the night before). He got himself some coffee, a big change compared to his normal orange juice. He took his mug to the table and sat across from Quatre, who still sipped his tea.
"I never thought it'd be you." Heero looked up at him in confusion. Quatre was staring into his tea as if it held all the answers. "I guess... I guess it must have been the hair."
"What?"
"This morning, while you were still in bed, I asked Duo about what had happened."
"WHAT!?"
"I'm sorry Heero, but I also told him about what you," he swallowed hard at the thought of the previous night. "What you tried to do."
Things quieted down for a moment, and Quatre went back to his tea as Heero sat thinking. After a short period of silence, Quatre looked up at him. "You know Heero? I never thought it'd be you. Out if everyone in this house, I never thought, in a million years that it would be you. In fact, I always thought Duo would be gay."
Heero sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I'm not gay."
"Oh come on Heero, you made a pass at Duo."
"So?"
"That means you liked him, and probably for quite some time, since you never do stuff like that unless you think good will come of it. Meaning, you thought about it in advance."
A slight blush came over his face. Who knew Quatre knew him so well? Once Heero realized that, he wished for the good old days. The days when, if one got too close to you, you had the right to kill them for the missions sake. Alas, Heero is on no mission, so the blonde must live... and continue to talk.
"I got you now, don't I? You're blushing, which means I'm right." He said with a huge grin.
"Hn."
"Heero, it's ok. I mean you're not alone in this world, or even in this house."
"What?"
"Well Heero, its not just you." Quatre got up out of his seat and turned away from Heero, looking out a window. "Maybe it was the war, or growing up around so many women, but that's not the point." He turned back around and they locked eyes. "Heero, if loving someone is a crime, then I deserve life in prison."
"Quatre, what are you saying?"
"You love Duo."
"NO I DON'T!" His blush returned and he accidentally spoke much louder then he intended to.
"Yes you do, you love Duo. Just like I......" Quatre's face became pink and rosy and he turned slightly away from Heero in a failed attempt at covering it. "love Trowa."
Heero's jaw practically fell off. "Your gay? And so is Trowa?" Quatre nodded. "Does Duo know?"
"No, I don't believe he does."
"What about Wu Fei? Does he know?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't he?"
"How did he react to it? I'm honestly surprised you could tell Wu Fei that and still be alive."
"Well Heero, Wu Fei has no right to judge. At least we picked a gender." He said with a playful jab of his elbow and a wink of his eye.
"Wait, what? Wu Fei is....."
"Bi." Heero sat stunned for a few moments. "He was in love with Treize."
"Treize? But, didn't he kill Treize?"
"It was the worst mistake of his life, and he regrets it everyday. Heero, I know it's a little much to take in all at once, but it's the truth. You're not weird, or sick, or anything like that. Your fine." Quatre was trying his best to comfort Heero, and his attempts were beginning to make an impact. "Just because Duo chooses to live a certain way that's different from yours does not give him the right to say anything that he did, and I'm sure he didn't mean it."
Heero's eyes lit up when Quatre said that Duo may not have meant all the cruel hurtful things that he had said. "He was probably just startled and had never been put in that position. It was most likely just a simple matter of not knowing how to act."
May. Probably. Most likely. Heero began to hear past the comfort to what was not being said. This was all Quatre's opinion, not truth. Yet, the truth was sad and uncomfortable. Quatre's opinion had so much more light and hope to it. He thought about his dreams the previous night. The comfort Quatre had given him. "Thank you Quatre, you're a true friend."
Quatre was taken slightly aback, but replied with a smile "Thank you." They sat in silence for a short time, until Heero could no longer keep quiet (isn't that odd?).
"I don't know why it bothers me so much. I'm not used to this Quatre, why can't I just let it go?"
"It seems to me that you have great feelings for Duo. That this is more then some crush."
That sentence triggered Heero's memory. "Well Heero, you do have a crush on her. And a pretty bad one at that. In fact I would say that your falling for her."
"What do you mean falling for her? You don't mean, love?"
"Or something pretty close to it. You got it bad Yuy."
"Love?" He whispered his question forgetting that ears were present to listen.
"What? Love? What about it?"
"Quatre, you don't think it's....." He stopped mid sentence. No need to finish, his point was clear.
"I can't say Heero. Only you can."
"If it is, will I be ok?"
Quatre began to laugh at this naïve side to Heero. "Of course you will."
"No, I mean, if Duo doesn't feel the same way. Will I be ok?"
Quatre's smile faded. "I would think so, but I cannot say."
Heero got up from his chair. "Thank you Quatre."
"I'm here whenever you need me Heero."
Heero gave Quatre a knowing nod and then set off to try and get some work done during his very short day.
The whole day Heero thought about the events of the past days. How things could change so much so quickly. Everything was fine two days ago. Duo would talk to him. Nicely. Normally. He thought of how his own feelings had done all of this. That he was to blame. That a crush had done this. Then he began to wonder. If this was more then a crush, how much more damage could it do? What else could he be responsible for? "I can't love him."
That night Heero went out to his balcony at 11:55 p.m. He knew Duo wouldn't be out there, but it was a good place to think. Heero opened his balcony door and took a half of a step out. He stopped. He was wrong. Duo was out there, sitting on his own balcony rail. Heero's heart began to beat quickly, forcefully. A cold sweat came over his body as he anticipated the brutality that was about to occur. Duo turned his head and took a quick glance at Heero. He then got up and started to walk toward his door.
"Umm Duo I..." Duo stopped mid-step and listened, his back to Heero. "Goodnight."
He didn't expect an answer, in fact he didn't even expect himself to say anything. Then again tonight seemed to be everything but what he expected. "Goodnight Heero."
Duo walked into his room and closed his door without a second look back. Heero stood shocked. There was no hatred, no resentment in Duo's voice. There was no point in being outside. It only led to more confusion, so Heero turned and went back in. He got ready for bed, thinking how he had thought all day. "I can't love him." He went to his bathroom and got cleaned up for bed.
He began to take off his shirt. "I don't love him." He threw his shirt into his hamper, along with his socks. He turned the covers down and got into his bed. Gathering the blankets up around his head, he turned onto his side.
"Damnit, I love him." Sleep came slowly to him that night. He thought, and when he finally slept, his thoughts continued into a dream.