In a traffic jam, in Mac's car.
8:10 AM
We spent the night together. These words sounded so odd. I still can't believe it. Harm and I spent the night together. Not because we wanted to or even planned to - just because we felt good together that evening. I know, we had already spent plenty of evenings together. Why this one. Maybe because we were caught off guard.
I went to his apartment at 8:41 PM. He was wearing casual clothes, jeans and a T-shirt that suited him nicely. I brought a bottle of wine, and, on second thought, it seemed more like a date - except we needed to talk about a case.
He had prepared dinner, and prepared it well. Both of us just had quite a bad day and we were happy just to end it better.
After dinner, we went in the living room and had coffee. We had the case file in front of us, but we never got around to it. It really was a boring case, a slam dunk, we knew we would win no matter what we did.
We finally talked about Bud and Harriet and their future baby, about babies in general, and about our ridiculous bet.
"If neither one of us is in a relationship in five years, we'll go halves on a baby." At the time, it was quite a nice and reassuring promise, I must admit. But now, there's only one year left.
Then I made a stupid comment, something like, "I wonder why we are still single." We remained quiet for a minute. I know he was thinking about Renée. I was thinking about Mic. Just today, I learned he was going to marry a model 10 years younger than me. She must be beautiful, probably tall and blond.
He broke the silence with a "So let's have that baby!" just as I was sipping my coffee. Needless to say, there was coffee all over the front of my shirt. I went to the bathroom in an attempt to get the stain out. He gave me a shirt to wear. It was a strange feeling wearing his shirt. When I came back, he looked embarrassed. I told him there was no need to be embarrassed, it was sort of funny.
He gave me a surprised look and asked me if I thought he was trying to be funny. I didn't know how to respond. Then he gave me one of THOSE smiles, the kind that makes me weak in the knees. He softly stroked my cheek with his hand.
I don't remember who inched closer first, or who started the kiss. But we kissed, and it didn't stop there. We just didn't want it to.
It all happened yesterday. I left Harm this morning, a few hours ago. He was still sleeping. I didn't think I could face him. I still don't feel I can face him now.
* * *
In Harm's apartment 8:40 AM
Harm opened his eyes. He glanced at his clock. Woops, he was late. He stretched in his bed and suddenly realized what had happened the night before. Except, his bed was empty. Getting up, he walked around his apartment. No trace of her. She was gone. While preparing coffee, he remembered the previous evening.
When I opened the door and saw her standing there, she was so pretty - as usual. Neither of us really wanted to work, so after dinner, we easily spent the evening engrossed in conversation. Mac made a comment about the loneliness and sadness in our lives. The only thing I could think of to erase her sad expression was to joke about having sex. It made her laugh so hard that she spilled coffee on her clothes. She looked beautiful in my shirt. I'd been thinking about children, and Mac would make a wonderful mother.
Now, we might have spoiled everything. Last night was great, of course. Even better than anything I've ever imagined, but she fled. I suppose I can understand why. Things are different now. I don't want to lose her - I can't lose my best friend.
* * *
Mac and Harm spent quite a strange day. They were relieved to be busy, never being left alone together in the same room. Mac spent her entire morning in court, Harm had an investigation outside of JAG headquarters in the afternoon. Both of them feared the moment they would have to talk about "it". They finally met at the end of the afternoon in Mac's office. She was reading a file when Harm knocked at the door.
"Good evening, Mac" Harm said.
"Good evening" answered Mac, looking up from her file.
After a few seconds of hesitation, Harm started talking.
"I think we should talk about yesterday" Harm said while closing the door.
"Yeah. You're right."
"I think…" Harm started, visibly embarrassed.
"… it was a mistake." Mac carried on, trying to help him, but she immediately regretted her words. Why did I say that?
"Yes, a mistake." Things may have not changed.
"It's okay then." whispered Mac, just to convince herself.
They were interrupted by knocking at the door.
"Come in" Mac said.
Tiner opened the door and announced the admiral wanted to see Harm. When Harm left the room, Mac closed her eyes and sighed. She should have felt relieved but didn't. The same feeling invaded Harm as he walked towards the admiral's office.
* * *
A few Weeks later Doctor Ross' examination room.
"Six weeks? Are you sure?" Mac asked the doctor.
"Positive. You're pregnant. Six weeks pregnant."
* * *