Schreber slipped into the passenger's side of the large Ford, Trinity already in the Driver's seat. She looked like she was deep in thought as she ran her hand over the wheel and along the gear shift. Had she ever drove? He knew that in the memories she was meant to have. She had been a expert driver and had won many high speed car chases. But she wasn't that girl, and even though that was a small blessing, he was sure she lacked some necessary skills.
"Can you...?" He left the question open, knowing she knew what he meant. She grinned and turned they key, a gentle rumble sound issuing from under the hood.
"Only one way to find out I suppose" She said, in a somewhat cocky tone. Schreber gave her a sympathetic grin. She only used that tone when she wasn't really sure. Slowly she put the car in gear and pulled out of the little parking slot.
A half hour later they was driving down the highway, both windows down as the warm summer breeze blew inside and played with their hair. Schreber had his hat in his lap, afraid that it would blow out the window if he kept it on his head. Trinity seemed to remember how to drive as she seemed at home behind the wheel, her left arm resting on the door, curling a lock of loose silver hair behind her ear.
"Where are we - going?" He asked at length, smiling inside at how the sunlight danced in her green eyes. Trinity didn't answer right away, just took a right turn off the main highway and down a empty road.
"Some place comforting" She answered finally. Schreber's brow furrowed at her tone. It didn't sound exactly happy. In a third of a hour they came to a very large cliff. She stopped just outside the grass boundary and turned the engine off. Silently the two got out of the car and she walked towards the cliff and sat down so that her legs dangled off the high cliff. Schreber stayed a safe distance from the edge, he was afraid of heights, but was close enough to see her profile.
"When I 'woke up' I wondered about the city a lot. I felt as though I had been whammed upside the head by a very hot frying pan. I finally came here. It was a beautiful night....I fell asleep right here. I was secretly hoping I'd fall off in My sleep" She gave a humorless chuckle, "Guess I wasn't supposed to....". Schreber finally understood. This had to do with their last session. She had recovered a memory but it was one she could have done without. It was a fight she had gotten herself into and he knew exactly which one it was. Sighing, Schreber eased towards her and sat a small distance behind her.
"I know your - in morning right - now, Trinity"
"You have no idea" She replied, looking down into the crashing waves against the high rock wall. In the ocean several dolphins played merrily together as the cry of seagulls sounded above them. She had lost her best friend in the fight. And what was more torturing about it....She had been the one to shoot the killing bullet. The man who she had been fighting with decided to use him as a human shield and she hadn't had time to stop herself. The command had already been gave and his life ended a few moments after in her arms. She still hadn't said what his last words was and he doubted she would...He knew though.
What was the meaning to 'I Love You' anyway? The memories he had imprinted himself with gave the cold hard facts of the words. A stirring of emotions between man and woman, parent and child. But that was it. He had no idea what it felt like to actually have them. He only knew the book meaning of it, and that was only so he could program the people of the city. He was sure they had a better idea though...
He felt another pang as he saw the pained expression on her face. He knew that feeling very well. He had felt it every instant he had lived sense the Strangers had put him in their service. Pain, guilt, sorrow. He knew all these very well. He reveled in them. Only after she had came into his life did they begin to lighten.
A teardrop fell down her cheek.
Before Schreber knew what he was doing he reached forward and wiped away the tear, letting the palm of his hand linger on her cheek for a instant and then slowly, the tips of his fingers sliding across her skin, took it away. He was surprised to see her lean her face in the direction his hand had went. She blinked, he echoed the action, and she looked up into his eyes. The emotion in them was amazing. Her eyes was always so full of emotion...Only one he didn't understand.
"I killed him" She spoke, moreso of a whisper as she was putting most her energy into trying not to cry. Schreber shook his head but did not say anything. She hadn't killed him. She hadn't been the one to pull the trigger. She wasn't the same person as the one who had. She was innocent yet paying for the crime that he had dreamed up for her. He didn't know how to help her.
"I...I didn't even understand the meaning of his last words". She lowered her head again to watch the dolphins. Schreber breathed out as his eyes closed. His heart ached to see her like this and it killed him to know he couldn't help her. Wasn't it what he was supposed to be doing? Helping her? How come he couldn't summon up one of his cookie-cutter answers that Psychiatrists was known for to comfort her?
"I..." Was all he was able to choke out. Trinity shook her head as though to silence him. They stayed like that in silence for half an hour.
"I'm sorry...I guess I just wanted to get that out" Trinity finally spoke, looking into Schreber's eyes again. He nodded, acting as though he understood when he didn't, and gave a false grin. He looked out into the horizon, the sunlight shining in his short corn-blond hair and his smooth skin. Trinity looked at his profile, bombarded by feelings she had no idea what were, captivated by the sight of him. His face so calm and beautiful in the sunlight, the even sound of his breath the only sound being made by him.
"Human emotions are - confusing things, Miss - Butler. The emotions you - feel now will fade in time" He said at length, wondering inside that if what he said went for all of those emotions, "Some people - out there" A motion of his hand toward the horizon, "would think that - they could find the key to - life in our intelligence...And memories. When in fact they - should be watching our - emotions. That - is where the soul - lay, in ones emotions. All of our- joys and hurts always take a effect on our - soul, and a soul is forever. No - memory can - erase what the soul knows" He said, turning his head to lock eyes with her, "Remember that". She grinned, not just the slightly there smirk, but a grin that slowly turned into a smile as another stray teardrop rolled down her cheek. Schreber again wiped the tear away but this time before he pulled his hand away Trinity caught it by the wrist and urged it to stay on her cheek. Her eyes closed, causing more tears to be released from her eyes and leaned her cheek into the warmth of his palm. As though he had no control of his limbs, he wiped his thumb across her cheek, catching the teardrops, and pushed his hand back into the contours of her face a little more. This felt so...
'Right' The same little voice in his head answered him. It was as though some of the confusion in him settled as he sat here with her face in his palm. He felt warm inside, all the pain and worthlessness he felt dieing for just a few fleeting moments. He had the almost uncontrollable urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her forehead. To run his fingers through her gray hair and rock her back and forth in his embrace, whispering to her that everything would be alright. He wanted more than just the warmth of her face in his palm, he wanted to feel her in his arms more than anything, to feel the warmth of her against him and bury his face in her neck.
But he didn't. He just stayed there, his palm cradling her face as the sun slowly began to set, the happy crying of the seagull echoing off into the horizon.
The night's moonlight glinted on the windshield of the car as he drove back to his office. He could still feel the warmth of her face in his palm even now as his hand searched for a cold place on the steering wheel. She had just been dropped off at a cafe, saying she had matters to attend, and now he drove alone back to his little...Home. Why did he feel like this? And more to the point, what was these feelings? He was supposed to understand human emotions, how come the meaning of this one eluded him?
He sighed as he parked and limped up the steps to the building. Lost in his thoughts he made his way to his office, walked in and sat down, not even bothering to lock the door behind him. He could still hear her breathing in his mind. He could still make out the outline of her face in the bright sunlight in his vision. He wondered if it had been a mistake to do so. To take her face into his palm. Look at what it had done to him. All his calm after that had been a front when inside he wanted above everything else to kiss her....Why?
He fell asleep in the chair still thinking about this and many other things. In his dreams he would revisit those so precious but few (intimate) moments they had shared on the bluff and he would this time act on his desires.
She could still feel his palm on her cheek. Her own rose to trace where his hand had been, fingers playing lightly around where the outline of his hand had been. She hadn't understood why it had comforted her to feel his hand on her cheek the first time, all she knew was that it did. All she knew was it calmed the raging torment in her heart to feel the warmth of his hand against her face. It had calmed the confusion in her and dimmed the memory of her best friend dieing in her arms and perhaps even had unraveled some of the mystery around this unknown feeling she felt and therefore would not let it go the second time. Oh how she had ached to lean forward into his arms, to fell him embrace her. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and feel his soft skin under her lips. Oh the last above all raged in her, even now the want to know what it would have felt like to kiss him raged in her, white-hot and almost unbearable. Such bittersweet torment.
"You OK?" The somewhat chubby, stubble faced owner of the cafe asked, reviving her from her thoughts. She nodded. He refilled her cup without her asking with coffee and even creamed it for her. She thanked him and he went to the next costumer. She looked down into the milky brown liquid as a teardrop came to her eye. He didn't know how pathetic she was. He didn't know her intention for the fat man up ahead of her in a very large bowler hat with a cigar in his mouth. He didn't know how she got the money to pay him, even though he had insisted so hard that she didn't. She sighed guiltily as she mimicked the large man's actions by standing. She looked around to see if anyone was watching her and saw they wasn't. She followed at a safe enough distance for a few minutes then took a turn into a ally. The fat cat looked behind him, thinking he heard something then shrugged it off and continued walking down the street. He didn't feel the tug at his back pocket as he passed the next alleyway and now Trinity was a thousand dollars richer, with double the guilt.
Schreber groaned as he popped his neck. The morning sunlight softly arched onto his sleepy face as he stirred, winching as his back gave a particularly loud pop. His glasses was lopsided on his face as he looked around the office, wondering how he had got here. He remembered within a few seconds and he straightened his glasses on his face. He turned his head to look out the window and sighed. Today Trinity wouldn't be here, nor would she tomorrow. Friday however...Friday she'd be back. He didn't know whether to be thankful that it was such a short time away or regret it. He leaned back in the recliner, unconsciously rubbing his right palm, as his eyes slightly unfocused and finally closed.
"Ah, Dr. Schreber, back again, yes?". The cruel hissing of the Strangers' voice. Unlike last time, Schreber knew where he was. He looked around the large domed room where all the dead, pail, emotionless Strangers stood, looking upon him coldly. Schreber suddenly felt a uncontrollable knot of fear in his stomach as he felt the cold bite of shackles on his wrist and ankles. The cold steel of the round operating table pressed into his bare back. Mr. Hand, he recognized, was standing the closest to him. He had failed to complete a certain task that had been assigned to him and he was now being punished. Schreber whimpered as he saw the table full of instruments to the side of him.
"Oh God - no" He whimpered in his pathetic voice as Mr. Hand stepped toward him. The Stranger took no notice of his plea as he looked over the instruments.
"Doctor", This voice was deeper but still cold. Mr. Book stepped from the crowed of Strangers that was around him, looking at him with cold blue eyes, "You failed to imprint. You must be punished, yes".
"No...Oh - god please - no! I'm sorry! It won't - happen - again! Please!". None of them took heed of his cries for mercy. Mr. Hand picked up a very long flat shaped piece of metal from the table. Schreber's pleas grew louder as the last few inches of the instrument began glowing red. It was always like this, he'd cry and beg, only earning back the cold stares of those around him. With each little plea he broke in even more. With each outcry, each scream of pain he molded into the role of their puppet even more. His voice, after many turns at this, finally cracked and broke and forever there would be a slight hiss to it and his leg was twisted in the same stroke. It was probably at the same time that his spirit broke as well, for he obeyed without question from there on out. Not until Murdoch would come...But would he ever come? In this large room where his screams rang out so clearly, so loudly, he didn't know. Would he ever be free again?
Schreber woke with a start, one of his old wounds aching in protest...Or in response to the dream. After a few seconds he realized he was back in his office, having fell asleep in his recliner. The sunlight in the room as now bright, no longer the lazy soft red glow it had been, and outside the busy bustle of the people could be heard. Schreber rose from his seat, listening to the popping and cracking of his tortured joints, and limped to the window. He spent a lot of time looking out this window, he knew, looking out onto the so many happy people who had no knowledge of what had happened. The oh so many people who was....Free. Unlike him. He used to think that if the Strangers was ever overthrown he'd be free from the hell they had weaved for him. But he had been wrong. The hiss in his voice, the wounds, the leg, this was all but a very small part of his personal hell. Everywhere he was sounded by it, every person in this city was such a large part. Because time and time again he had watched their slumbering face as he imprinted them, throwing their true identity even farther out of reach until they'd never know again. Some of them would winch in their sleep as the hallow needle went into their forehead and for that instant, with dread or so heavy in his bones, he was afraid they'd wake. Afraid and hoping. Afraid, because if they awoke and the Strangers found out, he'd be punished even though he didn't deserve it. Hoping because they would be trying to fight for their identity and perhaps would claim it. The latter never happened, it was impossible. A impossible hope...
Just like those of Trinity. She, as everyone in this town, would never know who she was. But in turn, she wanted to find out who she really was. Who she had been....She'd never know, just like him, just like everyone in this city.
Schreber bit back a sob that rose inside his throat. Yes, he lived in a hell and he only reminded it of himself. Did he enjoy tearing himself apart from the inside? Did he enjoy reminding himself of how he had betrayed everyone in this city? Yes...He supposed he did. Or, perhaps, it was because he had nothing else to do to take his mind away from that oh so unpleasant fact. Everyone in the city lived happily but not him, because he knew the truth, and there was nothing to distract him from it. Aside...
"Aside - from Trinity". Yes, Trinity gave him a few moments peace when she was around. She made the feelings of traitorism and regret fade and actually brought light to his hell. But, in the same turn, she also confused him and made him act in ways he did not understand yet longed for. He wanted to feel those emotions build inside him until they was almost uncontrollable. He wanted his heart rate to increase, to feel his stomach lurch and stretch in such a delightful way. And yet....He was scared of them. They frightened him in a way he didn't understand (Which was becoming oh so common for him lately). Before she had came he had been able to understand everything within himself and outside, even if the pain and guilt was almost more than he could cope with. Now, he was completely different and this change both made exited him and scared him. Made him long for her yet made him wary of her. He wanted to know why this was and what was going on. And above all he wanted......
Her.
"Can you...?" He left the question open, knowing she knew what he meant. She grinned and turned they key, a gentle rumble sound issuing from under the hood.
"Only one way to find out I suppose" She said, in a somewhat cocky tone. Schreber gave her a sympathetic grin. She only used that tone when she wasn't really sure. Slowly she put the car in gear and pulled out of the little parking slot.
A half hour later they was driving down the highway, both windows down as the warm summer breeze blew inside and played with their hair. Schreber had his hat in his lap, afraid that it would blow out the window if he kept it on his head. Trinity seemed to remember how to drive as she seemed at home behind the wheel, her left arm resting on the door, curling a lock of loose silver hair behind her ear.
"Where are we - going?" He asked at length, smiling inside at how the sunlight danced in her green eyes. Trinity didn't answer right away, just took a right turn off the main highway and down a empty road.
"Some place comforting" She answered finally. Schreber's brow furrowed at her tone. It didn't sound exactly happy. In a third of a hour they came to a very large cliff. She stopped just outside the grass boundary and turned the engine off. Silently the two got out of the car and she walked towards the cliff and sat down so that her legs dangled off the high cliff. Schreber stayed a safe distance from the edge, he was afraid of heights, but was close enough to see her profile.
"When I 'woke up' I wondered about the city a lot. I felt as though I had been whammed upside the head by a very hot frying pan. I finally came here. It was a beautiful night....I fell asleep right here. I was secretly hoping I'd fall off in My sleep" She gave a humorless chuckle, "Guess I wasn't supposed to....". Schreber finally understood. This had to do with their last session. She had recovered a memory but it was one she could have done without. It was a fight she had gotten herself into and he knew exactly which one it was. Sighing, Schreber eased towards her and sat a small distance behind her.
"I know your - in morning right - now, Trinity"
"You have no idea" She replied, looking down into the crashing waves against the high rock wall. In the ocean several dolphins played merrily together as the cry of seagulls sounded above them. She had lost her best friend in the fight. And what was more torturing about it....She had been the one to shoot the killing bullet. The man who she had been fighting with decided to use him as a human shield and she hadn't had time to stop herself. The command had already been gave and his life ended a few moments after in her arms. She still hadn't said what his last words was and he doubted she would...He knew though.
What was the meaning to 'I Love You' anyway? The memories he had imprinted himself with gave the cold hard facts of the words. A stirring of emotions between man and woman, parent and child. But that was it. He had no idea what it felt like to actually have them. He only knew the book meaning of it, and that was only so he could program the people of the city. He was sure they had a better idea though...
He felt another pang as he saw the pained expression on her face. He knew that feeling very well. He had felt it every instant he had lived sense the Strangers had put him in their service. Pain, guilt, sorrow. He knew all these very well. He reveled in them. Only after she had came into his life did they begin to lighten.
A teardrop fell down her cheek.
Before Schreber knew what he was doing he reached forward and wiped away the tear, letting the palm of his hand linger on her cheek for a instant and then slowly, the tips of his fingers sliding across her skin, took it away. He was surprised to see her lean her face in the direction his hand had went. She blinked, he echoed the action, and she looked up into his eyes. The emotion in them was amazing. Her eyes was always so full of emotion...Only one he didn't understand.
"I killed him" She spoke, moreso of a whisper as she was putting most her energy into trying not to cry. Schreber shook his head but did not say anything. She hadn't killed him. She hadn't been the one to pull the trigger. She wasn't the same person as the one who had. She was innocent yet paying for the crime that he had dreamed up for her. He didn't know how to help her.
"I...I didn't even understand the meaning of his last words". She lowered her head again to watch the dolphins. Schreber breathed out as his eyes closed. His heart ached to see her like this and it killed him to know he couldn't help her. Wasn't it what he was supposed to be doing? Helping her? How come he couldn't summon up one of his cookie-cutter answers that Psychiatrists was known for to comfort her?
"I..." Was all he was able to choke out. Trinity shook her head as though to silence him. They stayed like that in silence for half an hour.
"I'm sorry...I guess I just wanted to get that out" Trinity finally spoke, looking into Schreber's eyes again. He nodded, acting as though he understood when he didn't, and gave a false grin. He looked out into the horizon, the sunlight shining in his short corn-blond hair and his smooth skin. Trinity looked at his profile, bombarded by feelings she had no idea what were, captivated by the sight of him. His face so calm and beautiful in the sunlight, the even sound of his breath the only sound being made by him.
"Human emotions are - confusing things, Miss - Butler. The emotions you - feel now will fade in time" He said at length, wondering inside that if what he said went for all of those emotions, "Some people - out there" A motion of his hand toward the horizon, "would think that - they could find the key to - life in our intelligence...And memories. When in fact they - should be watching our - emotions. That - is where the soul - lay, in ones emotions. All of our- joys and hurts always take a effect on our - soul, and a soul is forever. No - memory can - erase what the soul knows" He said, turning his head to lock eyes with her, "Remember that". She grinned, not just the slightly there smirk, but a grin that slowly turned into a smile as another stray teardrop rolled down her cheek. Schreber again wiped the tear away but this time before he pulled his hand away Trinity caught it by the wrist and urged it to stay on her cheek. Her eyes closed, causing more tears to be released from her eyes and leaned her cheek into the warmth of his palm. As though he had no control of his limbs, he wiped his thumb across her cheek, catching the teardrops, and pushed his hand back into the contours of her face a little more. This felt so...
'Right' The same little voice in his head answered him. It was as though some of the confusion in him settled as he sat here with her face in his palm. He felt warm inside, all the pain and worthlessness he felt dieing for just a few fleeting moments. He had the almost uncontrollable urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her forehead. To run his fingers through her gray hair and rock her back and forth in his embrace, whispering to her that everything would be alright. He wanted more than just the warmth of her face in his palm, he wanted to feel her in his arms more than anything, to feel the warmth of her against him and bury his face in her neck.
But he didn't. He just stayed there, his palm cradling her face as the sun slowly began to set, the happy crying of the seagull echoing off into the horizon.
The night's moonlight glinted on the windshield of the car as he drove back to his office. He could still feel the warmth of her face in his palm even now as his hand searched for a cold place on the steering wheel. She had just been dropped off at a cafe, saying she had matters to attend, and now he drove alone back to his little...Home. Why did he feel like this? And more to the point, what was these feelings? He was supposed to understand human emotions, how come the meaning of this one eluded him?
He sighed as he parked and limped up the steps to the building. Lost in his thoughts he made his way to his office, walked in and sat down, not even bothering to lock the door behind him. He could still hear her breathing in his mind. He could still make out the outline of her face in the bright sunlight in his vision. He wondered if it had been a mistake to do so. To take her face into his palm. Look at what it had done to him. All his calm after that had been a front when inside he wanted above everything else to kiss her....Why?
He fell asleep in the chair still thinking about this and many other things. In his dreams he would revisit those so precious but few (intimate) moments they had shared on the bluff and he would this time act on his desires.
She could still feel his palm on her cheek. Her own rose to trace where his hand had been, fingers playing lightly around where the outline of his hand had been. She hadn't understood why it had comforted her to feel his hand on her cheek the first time, all she knew was that it did. All she knew was it calmed the raging torment in her heart to feel the warmth of his hand against her face. It had calmed the confusion in her and dimmed the memory of her best friend dieing in her arms and perhaps even had unraveled some of the mystery around this unknown feeling she felt and therefore would not let it go the second time. Oh how she had ached to lean forward into his arms, to fell him embrace her. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and feel his soft skin under her lips. Oh the last above all raged in her, even now the want to know what it would have felt like to kiss him raged in her, white-hot and almost unbearable. Such bittersweet torment.
"You OK?" The somewhat chubby, stubble faced owner of the cafe asked, reviving her from her thoughts. She nodded. He refilled her cup without her asking with coffee and even creamed it for her. She thanked him and he went to the next costumer. She looked down into the milky brown liquid as a teardrop came to her eye. He didn't know how pathetic she was. He didn't know her intention for the fat man up ahead of her in a very large bowler hat with a cigar in his mouth. He didn't know how she got the money to pay him, even though he had insisted so hard that she didn't. She sighed guiltily as she mimicked the large man's actions by standing. She looked around to see if anyone was watching her and saw they wasn't. She followed at a safe enough distance for a few minutes then took a turn into a ally. The fat cat looked behind him, thinking he heard something then shrugged it off and continued walking down the street. He didn't feel the tug at his back pocket as he passed the next alleyway and now Trinity was a thousand dollars richer, with double the guilt.
Schreber groaned as he popped his neck. The morning sunlight softly arched onto his sleepy face as he stirred, winching as his back gave a particularly loud pop. His glasses was lopsided on his face as he looked around the office, wondering how he had got here. He remembered within a few seconds and he straightened his glasses on his face. He turned his head to look out the window and sighed. Today Trinity wouldn't be here, nor would she tomorrow. Friday however...Friday she'd be back. He didn't know whether to be thankful that it was such a short time away or regret it. He leaned back in the recliner, unconsciously rubbing his right palm, as his eyes slightly unfocused and finally closed.
"Ah, Dr. Schreber, back again, yes?". The cruel hissing of the Strangers' voice. Unlike last time, Schreber knew where he was. He looked around the large domed room where all the dead, pail, emotionless Strangers stood, looking upon him coldly. Schreber suddenly felt a uncontrollable knot of fear in his stomach as he felt the cold bite of shackles on his wrist and ankles. The cold steel of the round operating table pressed into his bare back. Mr. Hand, he recognized, was standing the closest to him. He had failed to complete a certain task that had been assigned to him and he was now being punished. Schreber whimpered as he saw the table full of instruments to the side of him.
"Oh God - no" He whimpered in his pathetic voice as Mr. Hand stepped toward him. The Stranger took no notice of his plea as he looked over the instruments.
"Doctor", This voice was deeper but still cold. Mr. Book stepped from the crowed of Strangers that was around him, looking at him with cold blue eyes, "You failed to imprint. You must be punished, yes".
"No...Oh - god please - no! I'm sorry! It won't - happen - again! Please!". None of them took heed of his cries for mercy. Mr. Hand picked up a very long flat shaped piece of metal from the table. Schreber's pleas grew louder as the last few inches of the instrument began glowing red. It was always like this, he'd cry and beg, only earning back the cold stares of those around him. With each little plea he broke in even more. With each outcry, each scream of pain he molded into the role of their puppet even more. His voice, after many turns at this, finally cracked and broke and forever there would be a slight hiss to it and his leg was twisted in the same stroke. It was probably at the same time that his spirit broke as well, for he obeyed without question from there on out. Not until Murdoch would come...But would he ever come? In this large room where his screams rang out so clearly, so loudly, he didn't know. Would he ever be free again?
Schreber woke with a start, one of his old wounds aching in protest...Or in response to the dream. After a few seconds he realized he was back in his office, having fell asleep in his recliner. The sunlight in the room as now bright, no longer the lazy soft red glow it had been, and outside the busy bustle of the people could be heard. Schreber rose from his seat, listening to the popping and cracking of his tortured joints, and limped to the window. He spent a lot of time looking out this window, he knew, looking out onto the so many happy people who had no knowledge of what had happened. The oh so many people who was....Free. Unlike him. He used to think that if the Strangers was ever overthrown he'd be free from the hell they had weaved for him. But he had been wrong. The hiss in his voice, the wounds, the leg, this was all but a very small part of his personal hell. Everywhere he was sounded by it, every person in this city was such a large part. Because time and time again he had watched their slumbering face as he imprinted them, throwing their true identity even farther out of reach until they'd never know again. Some of them would winch in their sleep as the hallow needle went into their forehead and for that instant, with dread or so heavy in his bones, he was afraid they'd wake. Afraid and hoping. Afraid, because if they awoke and the Strangers found out, he'd be punished even though he didn't deserve it. Hoping because they would be trying to fight for their identity and perhaps would claim it. The latter never happened, it was impossible. A impossible hope...
Just like those of Trinity. She, as everyone in this town, would never know who she was. But in turn, she wanted to find out who she really was. Who she had been....She'd never know, just like him, just like everyone in this city.
Schreber bit back a sob that rose inside his throat. Yes, he lived in a hell and he only reminded it of himself. Did he enjoy tearing himself apart from the inside? Did he enjoy reminding himself of how he had betrayed everyone in this city? Yes...He supposed he did. Or, perhaps, it was because he had nothing else to do to take his mind away from that oh so unpleasant fact. Everyone in the city lived happily but not him, because he knew the truth, and there was nothing to distract him from it. Aside...
"Aside - from Trinity". Yes, Trinity gave him a few moments peace when she was around. She made the feelings of traitorism and regret fade and actually brought light to his hell. But, in the same turn, she also confused him and made him act in ways he did not understand yet longed for. He wanted to feel those emotions build inside him until they was almost uncontrollable. He wanted his heart rate to increase, to feel his stomach lurch and stretch in such a delightful way. And yet....He was scared of them. They frightened him in a way he didn't understand (Which was becoming oh so common for him lately). Before she had came he had been able to understand everything within himself and outside, even if the pain and guilt was almost more than he could cope with. Now, he was completely different and this change both made exited him and scared him. Made him long for her yet made him wary of her. He wanted to know why this was and what was going on. And above all he wanted......
Her.