Lessons Well Learned

By Violet Ice

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Lunch time: the one time of the day when high school students can break away from conformity and totally be themselves. Aoshi plopped himself in his usual seat in a back corner of the cafeteria, trying to blend into the walls and become invisible while he read Pride and Prejudice for his English class. He was already farther into the book than he needed to be, but he had nothing better to do, so why not read on? Work was a good way to escape the noisy idiots around him.

His eyes rolled heaven-ward when he heard a scuffle break out somewhere behind him. Miru couldn't seem to go a day without causing a fight of some sort. Usually, these fights were over Kamatari's reputation -Miru didn't care what any one said about himself, but he would defend Kamatari to the death- and today was no different.

"Knock off the damn crying, would ya?" Miru demanded as he shoved the young transvestite down into a chair. Kamatari was in tears and in no way trying to control his emotions. "None of the shit they were saying is true and you know I can't stand it when you cry, so shut up!" Miru's fingers clenched tightly around his friend's arm as he glared down at him.

Kamatari whimpered slightly as he attempted to brush away the tears with his other hand. "I'm sorry-" He began, but Miru cut him off.

"And don't apologize!" He glowered as he released Kamatari's arm and stormed back to through the sea of students in search of something to eat.

"Why do you let him treat you like that?" Aoshi's voice was noncommittal and he didn't even bother to look up from the book as he asked the question.

Kamatari rested his head on the table, his voice muffled by the fabric of his jacket. "Because." He sniffled without elaborating on this reply.

"Because isn't an answer." Came the dry response.

"You wouldn't understand." How could Aoshi possibly understand? He didn't know Miru at all.

"You don't deserve all the shit he gives you."

"There's more to Miru than all the shit." Kamatari responded quietly, "He treats me better than most people do. You just don't understand." He fiddled with one of his bracelets, his eyes still swimming with tears, "No one understands."

Aoshi shrugged. It really wasn't any of his business, after all. What the two of them did didn't matter. None of it mattered. He would be out of there soon and never have to see any of them again, so why get involved?

Sighing, Kamatari buried his face in his hands. He hated school, hated the people at the school, hated everything about the place except Miru. How could he hate the one person who made him feel special and pretty? Even when Miru yelled at him…He could not bring himself to hate him.

"Look, I'm sorry." Miru said grudgingly when he appeared back at the table with a lunch tray. "I wasn't mad at you…I just don't know what to do with you when you get like that, ya know? So don't cry. I was mad at every one else, not you."

The other boy's head rose and he looked at Miru, his eyes red and wet. "You mean it?" He whispered.

A cocky smile crossed Miru's face as he began poking at what looked like a plate of spaghetti. "Course I mean it, hot stuff. You're my 'girl', right? How could I get mad at you? It's every one else that's full of problems, ya know."

A smile tugged the corners of Kamatari's mouth upwards and he wiped his eyes again. "Yeah, I know." How could he not know? Miru made him want to melt into his chair every time he so much as looked at him.

"And, here, I didn't forget to get you something." He handed Kamatari a Nutty Sundae Cone, to which the other boy squealed excitedly.

"Thanks so much, Miru!" He exclaimed enthusiastically as he peeled off the wrapper.

"So, Aoshi," Miru turned his attention to the forgotten young man, "When's the next tutoring session scheduled for?"

Aoshi glanced up briefly from the book. "Oh, probably never. She'll complain to every one under the sun and her father will just pay for her to pass world history like he's paid for her to pass everything else. But it doesn't concern me."

"I suppose not…"

"But?"

"I didn't say anything else."

"But?" Aoshi pressed. Any time Miru trailed off, it meant he hadn't completed a thought. He wanted to say something else, but was unsure what Aoshi's reaction would be.

"Don't you wonder? I mean, don't you wonder what she's really like? Look at us all. None of us are what we seem. My pretty one over here, for example." He jerked his thumb over in Kamatari's direction, "If you hadn't know him for so long, you'd think he was a girl, right? Every one has things they hide. I'd love to get inside her brain and find all the hidden things about her." He waved a straw wrapper around as he spoke, "I'd love to tear her to little pieces, show her she's really not so great."

"You are too kind, Miru." Aoshi said sardonically. He wondered a lot about how complicated the boy was. Here was some one who gave off a "I'm too cool for you image" yet he had been unnerved at the sight of Kamatari in tears. Miru talked big, but Aoshi knew he was just as insecure as every one else. Then he looked back down at the book, zoning out the world around him.

Miru looked at Kamatari. "You're looking pretty good today." His eyebrows rose and a grin spread across his face, "You coming over after school?"

Kamatari blushed lightly, again twisting the same bracelet around his thin wrist. "What will we be doing?" He asked casually. Sometimes Miru wanted things he himself didn't particularly want.

"Homework."

"Homework?" Kamatari repeated listlessly. He highly doubted that anything they planned on doing would lead to homework. They would start something, but they would always wind up cuddled up together on the couch and Miru would be surprisingly subdued and the whole thing would leave Kamatari feeling somewhat depressed.

"Look, I feel bad about yelling at you. I just want to spend some time with you." He reached over, his hand brushing against Kamatari's, "You know I hate upsetting you." His voice was strained; his expression one of discomfort, as if he couldn't stand saying those words in a public place.

Kamatari's face darkened and he looked away. "You don't have to do this, Miru. You don't have to let down the walls here and now. And you don't have to pretend." He swallowed, blinking back the remnants of his tears, "Don't pretend you're sorry. You know I'd come anyway. So don't try to-"

"Dammit! Why do you always do this? I can never freaking apologize to you! You always make me feel bad, dammit!" His expression twisted even more and his fist pounded against the table. "Why can't you ever just let me apologize?"

"Miru…" Kamatari's eyes brimmed with tears, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…Really, I didn't."

"Oh, shit. Don't start with the crying again. Shit; don't do that. I can't handle it. What are you trying to do to me, Kamatari?" Miru growled, "Why don't you just drop it? Can't you ever stop? God, we're in public. Get a grip."

Sniffling, Kamatari wiped his nose. He wanted to crawl under the table and die. It was embarrassing crying like that -especially in front of Miru, whom he wanted to be nothing but strong for- and he was ashamed of himself. Were they alone together, curled up on that shabby couch, Miru would hold him and tell him it was okay to cry…But now, he could just die.

"What is he so worked up about?"

All three boys looked up as Meibi settled herself at the table with her lunch tray. She looked scornfully at Kamatari and Miru, brushing her pink bangs from her eyes. Then she began doing exactly what her step-brother had -- poking at the would-be spaghetti. "Are you two idiots fighting over something stupid again?"

"Can it, Mei." Miru grumbled, "It's been a tough day so far, so you leave Kamatari alone."

"What; did he break a nail?" Had any one been able to see her face under all her hair, they would have seen her rolling her eyes. She didn't care much for either her step-brother or his significant other, and wasn't afraid of letting them know it.

"Shut up! Shut up; you don't know anything. You're just as frickin' bad as every one else." Miru snapped, "Meibi, you don't understand a damn thing. You shouldn't be saying crap like that when you don't even know what happened."

Kamatari looked down at the table. Meibi was so mean to him and he hated it. He hadn't ever done a thing to her, but she always treated him like dirt. He would have loved to be her friend; she seemed like a fun girl and they could go shopping and stuff together. But no, she seemed to hate him. I wish she were nicer to me. I wish she and Miru got a long better. I wish-

He looked up, startled, when he felt Miru's hand on his shoulder. "Don't be so bummed out, Kiddo. I like ya best when you're smiling, y'know."

He smiled slightly, feeling a little happier. No matter how much of a jerk Miru seemed to be…

"Hey, Aoshi, heard about last night. How did it go?" Meibi turned her attention away from the two homosexual boys and looked at Aoshi, who's nose was still buried in the book.

"Terrible."

"Terrible?"

"Terrible. She wouldn't listen to a thing I had to say, the little brat. And she wasn't at all glad that I gave up my free time to help her either. Just told me it was a waste of her time and she'd rather be any where else." He said calmly, turning another page.

"Will you keep going?" Meibi began shoveling in her lunch. She had some biology homework to finish and there was nothing like waiting until the last minute. She went by the idea that she worked better under pressure.

"I'll go as long as they ask me to. It's really no concern of mine if she passes or fails, but if they want me to keep wasting my time, I guess I have no choice." He closed the book and took off his reading glasses. "It doesn't matter what I want, does it? In the end, I always wind up doing what they want any way." He looked evenly at Meibi, taking in her face, expressionless and hidden under her shaggy hair.

"I suppose not. Us poor people can't fight the rich, can we?" She slurped in the last of the spaghetti, then shoved her tray out of the way, pulled her biology book out of her bag and flipped through it. Her pencil flew across the page, her scrawl thick and dark, her letters loopy. "And she's such an ugly little bugger too, so hateful and mean."

For a moment, all Aoshi could do was stare at Meibi as her words rattled around in his mind. Was that what this word called "ugly" meant? Was it really something that had to do with what was on the inside and not the outside? He had never thought about it before, but God, she was very ugly to know. Behind the pretty exterior, Misao was an incredibly ugly girl.

Speak of the devil.

Misao's voice rose loud above the crowd, drowning out the din in the cafeteria. She was shrieking about something or another, yelling at the lunch lady, calling her stupid and worthless. Here was another example of her ugliness: Misao was not a pleasant sight to behold when angry. Her face was red; lose strands of hair falling in her eyes, in which a storm raged. She waved her arms around as she yelled, as if that would help emphasize her point.

Miru rolled his eyes. "Somebody should shut her up. Just because she's loaded doesn't mean she should be able to throw a tantrum like the squirt does. I mean, even he can't get away with behavior like that and he's only three."

In one fluid movement, Aoshi rose from his seat and strode away from the table towards the angry girl. The other three watched curiously as he strolled purposefully over to Misao and Kaoru; as he grabbed the younger of the two by the arm, causing her to stop mid-rant.

"Will you stop screaming?" He asked coolly, never loosening his hold on her arm.

"Let me go!" She hissed, her eyes narrowing down the moment she realized who had interrupted her tirade.

"Not until you stop the childish yelling." He replied evenly, his icy blue eyes meeting hers and burning into them.

"Childish? Childish?!" She raged even more, yanking her arm from his grasp, "How dare you?? Get away from me or I'll have you arrested for harassment!"

"Whoa…Misao, calm down." Kaoru grabbed her other arm, "Forget about him; he's not worth it anyway. Don't even waste your time on him." She pulled her friend away, dragging her -much to Misao's protest- off in the other direction.

Aoshi's dark gaze slid along behind them as they retreated. The crowd parted to allow Misao through and the entire cafeteria had fallen silent. He sighed as he returned to his own seat, knowing the situation would not resolve itself.