Lessons Well Learned

By Violet Ice

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Miru woke up around six-thirty the following morning.

Usually, he slept until his mother started screaming at him to get up and get ready for school, but he woke up early that morning, following a dream of waterfalls and broken fire hydrants.

I've got to pee.

Right now…

Grumbling at the early hour, he climbed over Kamatari, who was curled up on his side, clutching a pillow, and padded out of the room, his bare feet cold against the wooden floor. He stretched -yawning- as he walked, his joints popping. He had slept funny and it wasn't because he had shared the bed.

Kamatari had insisted he could sleep on the couch in the den, but Miru wouldn't let him. It was the same old song and dance as always; shy Kamatari never wanted to sleep in the same place as Miru, for fear of the other boy trying something. It made Miru angry -Kamatari was usually an outgoing, flirty person, except when it came to him- and he always had to bully his friend into the bed.

He played dirty, but he knew Kamatari liked it.

He'd had trouble sleeping the night before because he'd had a huge argument with his mother. She was constantly telling him that she didn't care what he did, so long as he didn't bring it home to his sister or brother. He assumed this meant that she thought he was running around, having a good time, playing the field. This couldn't be further from the truth, but there was no point in arguing with Shinju on this subject. Normally, he didn't care about her accusations. But when Kamatari came into the conversation…

It made Miru boiling mad.

He finished his business with the porcelain god, washed his hands and wandered back in the direction of his room.

"Miru!" A hand grabbed his arm.

He turned, his eyes trailing up the arm to his mother's face. She looked furious, as if she were ready to destroy him. "What's up, Mom?" He asked casually.

"Don't you give me that attitude, young man." Her fingers tightened around his arm, "How many times have I told you not to bring it home? How dare you, with your little, impressionable brother asleep in the next room?"

"Chill out, Mom." He stared back at her, his inky eyes burning into hers. He wasn't intimidated by her; he fought back every chance he had.

"Why, Miru? Why any of this? Why are you doing this? I don't understand." She suddenly looked old and tired.

"I never asked you to understand. I never asked you to understand anything about me, Mom. I just want you to care about me even though you don't understand. But you don't give a shit. All you do is yell at me." He growled, "I didn't ask to be this way. I didn't decide it either. I didn't wake up one morning and tell myself 'I'm going to start chasing after guys.' It's just how I am."

"But why?"

"I don't know! Would you rather I was like you and Dad, Mom? Would you rather I was running around with some girl and I got her pregnant then left her so her kid could grow up and hate everything? I love him and I don't care what you have to say!" He jerked his arm out of her grasp and stormed off down the hall.

When he was climbing back into bed, Kamatari's eyes blinked open. He rolled over on his back, yawning, pulling Miru down into his arms. "You're angry."

"Yeah." Miru buried his face in Kamatari's shoulder, his dark hair spilling around them both.

"Your mom thinks we were fooling around?" Kamatari's voice was soft and sad. He hated seeing Miru so angry; hated seeing him confused and hurt. He knew the source of most of Miru's anger was his mother, who never once tried to understand a thing about her firstborn son.

"Yeah." Miru's nose brushed against Kamatari's neck as he settled back down.

"You didn't tell her we weren't." The older boy pointed out as he wrapped his arms around his companion.

"It doesn't matter what I tell her." This statement was accompanied by a sigh, "She won't believe it."

"Oh." A nod.

"Go back to sleep." Miru's fingers twined through Kamatari's hair, "We don't have to get up for an hour still."

"All right." The teen yawned, "…Miru?"

"Yeah?"

I love you too...The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say them. He was too shy, too frightened to come out and say the only thing on his mind for so long. "Nothing." Sighing softly, he buried his face in Miru's hair. Why am I so damn shy about the one thing more important than anything else…?

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Misao's hand batted around from somewhere under her blankets, swatting at her alarm clock as it sounded the shrill alarm for her to wake up. She wanted to roll over and curl up in a little ball, rather than go to that hell-hole called school. She hated that place more than anything, hated all the boring teachers, the bad cafeteria food, the people who pretended to like her in hopes of sharing her money.

The latter of these was something she had only realized the day before. Aoshi had walked her home even though she was a bitch to him and he hadn't expected anything in return. It felt surprisingly nice to be around some one who didn't lie to her. Even if the things he said weren't endearing, they were the truth.

She rolled over on her back, staring up at the ceiling. I've gotten myself into a real mess here, haven't I? Everything was going just fine until I met him. He ruined my life. Nothing was bad until my birthday when he started giving me all that shit. Dammit, he makes me think too much. He makes everything so complicated.

But he's so damn hot…

Did I seriously just think that? Sitting up, she cringed. That is not a good thing to be thinking…Not when he's so poor and I've got so much money. He's not good enough for me. He can't be. He's got nothing. But still…

Her dreams the previous night had been a swirling mass of cars trying to run her down, dark-haired princes on ice horses coming to her rescue and Kaoru as some sort of evil antagonist, laughing and telling her she couldn't handle the truth. No matter what bad situation had befallen her in those dreams, Aoshi had come along, sweeping her off her feet, only to tell her that she was hopeless and couldn't she even take care of herself?

He made her so angry.

Thinking about Aoshi, she was wide awake now. No point in trying to go back to sleep…Normally, she would sleep a lot longer, waiting for the snooze alarm to go off or some one to yell at her to get up. Never her mother; she couldn't be bothered. But her step-father was constantly screaming and yelling for her to "get her lazy ass out of bed."

Groaning, she rolled over. Morning was her lest favorite part of the day. If she could, she would sleep as long as possible, rising only when she woke from her slumber of her own accord. None of that alarm clock stuff; only her body telling her it was time to get up.

She stretched as she stood before her closet, which was stuffed with clothes. What to wear today? What to wear…She had so many things in there; of course it was a tough choice.

Rustling through the shirts, pants and skirts, she came across something she hadn't seen in years. I forgot I even had this shirt…Black, three-quarters length sleeves, the kanji for "hope" on it in silver glitter. There was a necklace somewhere that went with that shirt; a chintzy little thing from a machine at the movie theater. She had been at the movies with Kaoru and they had some spare change, so they were trying their luck, hoping to get the jewelry they liked.

She closed her eyes, remembering that day. It had been years ago, back before…Back before I became a spoiled rich brat. Back when…Her cerulean eyes snapped open and she looked down at the shirt in her hands, Kaoru's giggly laughter echoing through her mind.

Her friend had stopped by the previous night to bring her her backpack, which she had left in the car when she ran off. They hadn't said more than two words to one another; the only vocal exchange was what was absolutely necessary. Kaoru had looked both hurt and angry; Misao could see the turmoil in her friend's deep eyes. She had looked the way Misao felt.

Yes, the young woman decided, I'm going to wear this shirt today. And where…Tossing the shirt onto her bed, she pushed her way through more clothes…is that denim jacket I used to wear with it?

Things are going to change today. I'm not going to lose the best friend I've ever had and I'm certainly not going to let myself be humiliated by a smart-ass from the wrong side of the tracks.

This decided, she was all fired up for the day. She snatched her brush from her dresser and began yanking in vigorously through her snarled hair. This is one battle I will not lose…

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Meibi frowned.

"Hurry it up back there. You're so damn slow!"

She hated walking to school with Miru.

"And you, come back here! Don't you be running away from me!"

She especially hated it on days after Kamatari spent the night.

Glowering, she shoved her hands in her pockets. Her step-brother was pretending to chase after his friend, who squealed with mock terror and ran further down the sidewalk, the loops on his pants clinking together with his every movement. Miru suddenly charged forward, catching Kamatari in his arms, swinging him around and tossing him over his shoulder, where he dangled, thumping the younger boy in the back, laughing, telling him he'd better put him down or he'd be sorry.

Then he looked up at Meibi, his face positively shining with happiness as he beamed at her. "How are you today, Meibi?" He brushed his hair from his eyes, the jelly bracelets around his wrist bouncing with the jerky movement.

Scowling, she looked away and stormed past them both. She didn't dislike Kamatari; she just didn't want people thinking she was as odd as her brother and his constant companion. The best way to keep people from assuming she was as queer as they were was to distance herself from them as much as possible.

This was difficult when the most straight-forward route to school was the one they both took.

"Hey, don't be so uptight, Mei." Miru called after her. "It's really nice out today and I doubt we'll have much more weather like this. It is November, after all." He set Kamatari back down on the sidewalk and the older boy stretched, his hands rising heavenward, the bottom of his shirt rising with them and revealing his belly button.

Miru looked over at him, basking there in the morning sunlight like a cat. His skin looked even more pale in the bright light, more tempting, and that contented smile played across his face. His eyes blinked open and he looked again at his friend, smiling softly, to which Miru grinned back, wondering what Kamatari would do if he were suddenly to kiss him.

Desire coursed through him. He took a step forward, closing the distance between them, catching Kamatari by the wrist. The older boy's brown eyes widened slightly, his mouth opened as if he were about to say something, his startled expression making him more appealing. Miru pulled him closer, his other arm wrapping around Kamatari's waist. He had waited long enough; been patient for plenty of time. Now all he wanted to do was ravish the other boy; to act on all the lusty thoughts swimming in his mind.

Kamatari trembled slightly, wondering what was about to happen to him. He wanted to tell Miru to stop, but the words caught in his throat which had unexpectedly gone quite dry. He stared into his companion's eyes, searching their dark depths for a reason behind this sudden change. His back was pressed up against a wall and the same terror he had felt the previous afternoon was about to consume him. His eyes welled up with tears and he squeezed them shut, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Miru seemed to snap back to reality when the first tear fell. What the hell am I doing? He took a step back, his eyes widening at the expression on Kamatari's face. "My God, I'm sorry! I only wanted to…I didn't mean to…Don't look at me like that!" He let go of the other boy's wrist and turned to walk away but Kamatari caught him by the hand.

"I…I know you would never hurt me." His voice was soft and hesitant, "I know you would never do anything to ever hurt me. But…But I don't know what to…Miru, I don't know why I'm afraid to let you kiss me." Liar! Liar; you do know…You don't want things to ever change. If you let him kiss you, everything gets complicated…

Miru looked back over his shoulder at Kamatari, who had his eyes glued to his feet. His bangs fell over his forehead, shielding his eyes, hiding his expression. "I didn't mean to scare you." One of Miru's hands flickered upward, brushing back his companion's hair, "I'm so sorry. I really don't know why I did that."

"It's okay." Kamatari looked up at him, his usual smile on his face, "Really, it is. So don't worry about it. Now come on, or we'll be late." His hand still clutching Miru's to prove he wasn't going to shy away again, he began to drag the other boy down the sidewalk.