Title: Good Intention: Ground Rules
Author: Ash
E-Mail: aka_jay66@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, no matter how much I might want
to, and someday I'll learn to accept that.
Feedback: Would be appreciated.
Summary: Set in the time when Angelus roamed free and Willow still babbled.
When Willow tries to help Buffy feel safe, she has the best of intentions.
That should have been a warning sign right there.
Part Eleven
"I accept," Angelus said.
Willow stared at him. A sick feeling was starting to twist in the place
where her stomach had been just before it dropped through the floor.
Because it didn't sound like he was joking, and there were very few good
ways to 'offer' yourself to a vampire and god, she'd thought that being
bitten would be the low point of her day.
Willow opened her mouth to say that whatever he was thinking, that wasn't
what she'd meant, but Angelus' smile was a grayed slash in the darkness and
Willow closed her mouth again because he wouldn't care what she'd meant. Oh
god, she thought again. Her heart was beating hard and fast.
"So quiet?" Angelus said, sounding disappointed. "It's not like you to
just give in. I expected you to argue... fight me..."
His hand settled at the base of her neck, fingers spreading across her skin
and Willow knew that if she looked down, she'd see that his hand went almost
from shoulder to shoulder, he had such large hands. And then she felt
something else, a cool touch where there should be fabric and knew that his
hand was under her top, knew it logically and wanted to scream.
He was trying to scare her, Willow knew that, just trying to get a reaction
out of her and no, oh no, his hand was still moving, nonono, this wasn't
supposed to happen this way.
And then she was fighting him, she didn't remember starting to fight him but
she was fighting him as hard as she could, squirming under his weight and
kicking out with her feet, pushing with her hands, trying desperately to put
space between them, as much space as possible, two feet of space would be
okay, two miles would be even better, two hundred miles would be barely
enough but she couldn't even get two inches, his hands were pinning her arms
behind her back and his legs were heavy and painful on top of hers.
And he was laughing at her, Willow could tell this was just as funny as
anything to him, which was almost worse than anything else he could do to
her and made her wish that she could hurt him, just a little, even if he
killed her for it.
From somewhere inside the electric buzz filling her mind, Willow heard
Angelus chuckle deep and low in his throat and suddenly realized that he was
enjoying this way too much, that it was, in fact, making him the exact
opposite of angry. She froze.
Predatory, Willow thought. Vampires are predators. Anything that struggles
is prey. I don't *want* to be prey! I want to be home, safe! With ice cream!
When Willow dared to look up, Angelus was watching her, looking not at all
like ice cream. His lips twitched with what might have been humor or rage
or lust or hunger, Willow had no idea, although she thought that the fact
that he was pulling her closer again was probably some sort of clue.
"Do you know that you mumble?" Angelus said curiously, settling her back
against his chest firmly.
Okay, Willow thought, that's not what I expected him to say. But
considering the alternatives, this is good. Wait. mumbling?
"I do not!" Willow protested without thinking. Because hey, she thought a
second later, why not argue with him? Why would she want the bloodthirsty
fiend holding her life in his hands to be in a *good* mood? Idiot.
To her relief, Angelus seemed amused rather than angered by her denial.
"Yes, you do," he said, "but most people can't hear it."
"O-kay," Willow said doubtfully.
Do not, she thought.
Angelus looked like he was trying not to laugh, which was unnerving, but
then he didn't look like he wanted to laugh at all, and that was even more
unnerving.
And then his mouth was on her neck again, so fast and frightening and soft
and there was still no pain or blood but just slow sweet kisses pressed
against her skin, painful in a different way, and he still wasn't biting her
and what kind of prey did he think she was, anyway?
"Your analogy has a few flaws," Angelus murmured against her skin.
My... what? Willow thought. It was hard to think, harder still to hold
her body rigid and pretend that his mouth wasn't there, wasn't shocking and
wet and like the time she'd tried to take the toaster apart using a fork
while it was still plugged in. "A..analogy?" she said dazedly, because she
had to respond, had to show that this wasn't affecting her at all.
And then there was something like an earthquake and Willow was suddenly flat
on her back, staring directly up into Angelus' eyes.
"You are not, as you put it, my *prey*," Angelus said slowly, and Willow's
heart skipped a beat.
I mumble, she thought wildly. And he can hear me! Stop it, me! Wait, am I
doing it now?
"Yes," Angelus said, "and you are *mine*. I don't have to chase you, hunt
you or catch you." His voice seemed to be on a downward slope, sliding down
into growling territory, getting deep and rough now, and he punctuated each
word with a slight shake that flung Willow's head back and left her dizzy
and blurred.
"On the other hand..." Angelus continued, and the sudden shift from molten
anger to pure sensuality made her skin crawl with... relief? Fear? Willow
couldn't tell any more. Crawling was her skin's natural condition at this
point.
"If I *want* to chase you..." Angelus said, and one of his hands slipped to
the small of her back. "If I *choose* to hunt you..." And he leaned his
weight into her, slowly forcing her to the carpet. His next words were
breathed an inch from her mouth, the cool air tingling against her lips. " I
'll always catch you, Willow. Again, and again and again..."
Willow's thoughts were a tangled mass of panic and hatred and the softness
of the carpet against her back and the stifling darkness that surrounded her
and the hardness of Angelus' body pressed against her own and the fear that
she wasn't going to get out of there alive. A thousand confused things all
pressed into a tight little ball in the center of her chest and a frantic
waiting for what was going to happen next.
And then it was happening, no more waiting, Angelus' mouth pressed tight to
hers, hard and hurting like he didn't care if she could breathe or not, and
no more air in her lungs. Willow gasped, suddenly afraid, more afraid of
this than of anything, but closing her lips against him didn't work and then
there were ridges pressing against her forehead and fangs biting at her lips
and the pain of that and the fear when he licked away the blood and hoping
that he'll get distracted and just bite her already, please, please, but his
mouth was already back on hers and there was no denying it, he was kissing
her.
Kissing her again, she should say, and this time he was smart enough to
force her lips to open, so strange when that happened, she's not quite sure
how it happened, but there it was and Angelus was holding her head tight in
an iron grip while his smooth cool tongue was in her mouth now, her mouth,
Willow's mouth, and it was getting very difficult to pretend that it wasn't
happening. It was so different from Oz, different from Dream Xander too,
and knowing it was *Angelus*, evil Angelus, evil murder-torturer-Buffy's
boyfriend Angelus, was really freaking out her mind but her body didn't seem
to get the concept.
It was something like an itch, Willow thought clinically as her hips started
to move on their own, just a little, rocking just a little, and then her
hand was in his hair and she wasn't quite sure how it'd got there.
Willow could feel it when Angelus smiled against her mouth, and she was just
about to respond by pulling away when he beat her to it, his mouth suddenly
gone, and the smile that she'd felt very much in evidence as she looked up
at him through half-closed eyes.
He was surprisingly gentle when he tilted her head to the side, a good
thing, she thought, because her body felt like it had melted, or maybe
evaporated entirely. And then the next thing was the sharp pain in her neck
and Angelus' body trembling against hers. She didn't struggle. It was
almost a relief, after all. It meant that it was over.
Willow was almost used to it now, the black drowning feeling when the blood
was going out and the world was closing in, the pain at first unbearable and
then just a dull localized ache. And then should come the unconsciousness,
but Angelus was pulling away and Willow was still conscious, though dizzy.
Which was good, Willow supposed, but it would have been so much simpler if
she'd been unconscious.
Angelus got to his feet quicker than she could see, no longer a weight on
Willow's chest but a tall figure standing over her. And damn it, Willow
thought hazily, she still wasn't unconscious, although she almost made it
when Angelus reached down and dragged her up so fast that her head seemed to
turn inside out. But no, still no fainting, because that was just the way
her luck was running tonight.
Willow swayed, couldn't get her feet to work right, and would have fallen if
Angelus hadn't been holding her wrists so tightly. He wasn't looking at her
though, he was staring past her into the darkness around them and his eyes
were yellow and shining. Willow twisted slightly in his grip and looked
around nervously, trying to see what had alarmed him.
"Lights," Angelus said, and the darkness burned away into light.
Willow blinked and blinked again and finally had to close her eyes for a few
seconds against the brightness. When she opened them again, she could see.
And she really, really wished she couldn't.
Because there they were. Standing along the walls, draped over couches,
crouched no more than a few feet from where she stood. Vampires.
Her eyes skipped from one to the other as though she could make them
disappear and it was even worse than she'd thought, because they were all
staring at her, watching *her*, not Angelus, and the one crouched on the
floor was so close that she could have reached out and touched him, ruffled
his soft brown hair, but she thought that he'd probably bite her hand if she
tried.
Wait, Willow thought. She'd lost a lot of blood and she could still taste
Angelus' mouth on hers, but wait.
How long had they been there?
Had they been there when Angelus was laying down the rules?
Had they been there when she tried to get away?
Had they been there when he. when she. well, they must have been, right?
And so they'd seen everything. Heard the little noises that she hoped she
hadn't made. Oh no, no, no, this was humiliation on a whole new level,
this was Cordelia times ten times her entire high school career up until the
day Buffy sat down beside her.
And it was horrible because they were still watching her, so many pairs of
golden eyes watching the blood rush to her face.
Angelus growled low in his throat and said, "She's *mine*, proven and
witnessed. Anyone here want to argue it?" His burning eyes sought out each
vampire in turn. "Don't be shy."
One by one, the vampires shook their heads. One by one, with palpable
regret, they said, "Yours."
When the door slammed behind them, Willow turned to face Angelus. He was
leaning against the door back to the Bronze, an expectant look on his face.
She took a step towards him and he shook his head, smiling at her.
Willow lowered her head to hide her eyes.
"I'm yours," she said to his feet, and thought about killing him.
_______
Tell me what you think?
Ah, the fun. Angelus definitely has my heart, and not in the same way that
he has the internal organs of many other people. That is to say, not in a
jar.
No, I like him in that mushy way that means I'd send him Valentines with no
return address mailed from anonymous postal codes if I could be very very
sure he'd never find me. What can I say, I'm a romantic. But a pragmatic
one. *g*
In other news, I have a livejournal now! Shocking, eh? But probably a
good place to go if you want to pester me, harass me, or possibly even just
talk to me. All my new fics will be posted there as I attempt to organize
myself to some degree, as well as all of my drawings:
www.livejournal.com/users/ashjay/
Drop by and say hello.
Ash "Friendly and Harmless" Jay
Author: Ash
E-Mail: aka_jay66@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, no matter how much I might want
to, and someday I'll learn to accept that.
Feedback: Would be appreciated.
Summary: Set in the time when Angelus roamed free and Willow still babbled.
When Willow tries to help Buffy feel safe, she has the best of intentions.
That should have been a warning sign right there.
Part Eleven
"I accept," Angelus said.
Willow stared at him. A sick feeling was starting to twist in the place
where her stomach had been just before it dropped through the floor.
Because it didn't sound like he was joking, and there were very few good
ways to 'offer' yourself to a vampire and god, she'd thought that being
bitten would be the low point of her day.
Willow opened her mouth to say that whatever he was thinking, that wasn't
what she'd meant, but Angelus' smile was a grayed slash in the darkness and
Willow closed her mouth again because he wouldn't care what she'd meant. Oh
god, she thought again. Her heart was beating hard and fast.
"So quiet?" Angelus said, sounding disappointed. "It's not like you to
just give in. I expected you to argue... fight me..."
His hand settled at the base of her neck, fingers spreading across her skin
and Willow knew that if she looked down, she'd see that his hand went almost
from shoulder to shoulder, he had such large hands. And then she felt
something else, a cool touch where there should be fabric and knew that his
hand was under her top, knew it logically and wanted to scream.
He was trying to scare her, Willow knew that, just trying to get a reaction
out of her and no, oh no, his hand was still moving, nonono, this wasn't
supposed to happen this way.
And then she was fighting him, she didn't remember starting to fight him but
she was fighting him as hard as she could, squirming under his weight and
kicking out with her feet, pushing with her hands, trying desperately to put
space between them, as much space as possible, two feet of space would be
okay, two miles would be even better, two hundred miles would be barely
enough but she couldn't even get two inches, his hands were pinning her arms
behind her back and his legs were heavy and painful on top of hers.
And he was laughing at her, Willow could tell this was just as funny as
anything to him, which was almost worse than anything else he could do to
her and made her wish that she could hurt him, just a little, even if he
killed her for it.
From somewhere inside the electric buzz filling her mind, Willow heard
Angelus chuckle deep and low in his throat and suddenly realized that he was
enjoying this way too much, that it was, in fact, making him the exact
opposite of angry. She froze.
Predatory, Willow thought. Vampires are predators. Anything that struggles
is prey. I don't *want* to be prey! I want to be home, safe! With ice cream!
When Willow dared to look up, Angelus was watching her, looking not at all
like ice cream. His lips twitched with what might have been humor or rage
or lust or hunger, Willow had no idea, although she thought that the fact
that he was pulling her closer again was probably some sort of clue.
"Do you know that you mumble?" Angelus said curiously, settling her back
against his chest firmly.
Okay, Willow thought, that's not what I expected him to say. But
considering the alternatives, this is good. Wait. mumbling?
"I do not!" Willow protested without thinking. Because hey, she thought a
second later, why not argue with him? Why would she want the bloodthirsty
fiend holding her life in his hands to be in a *good* mood? Idiot.
To her relief, Angelus seemed amused rather than angered by her denial.
"Yes, you do," he said, "but most people can't hear it."
"O-kay," Willow said doubtfully.
Do not, she thought.
Angelus looked like he was trying not to laugh, which was unnerving, but
then he didn't look like he wanted to laugh at all, and that was even more
unnerving.
And then his mouth was on her neck again, so fast and frightening and soft
and there was still no pain or blood but just slow sweet kisses pressed
against her skin, painful in a different way, and he still wasn't biting her
and what kind of prey did he think she was, anyway?
"Your analogy has a few flaws," Angelus murmured against her skin.
My... what? Willow thought. It was hard to think, harder still to hold
her body rigid and pretend that his mouth wasn't there, wasn't shocking and
wet and like the time she'd tried to take the toaster apart using a fork
while it was still plugged in. "A..analogy?" she said dazedly, because she
had to respond, had to show that this wasn't affecting her at all.
And then there was something like an earthquake and Willow was suddenly flat
on her back, staring directly up into Angelus' eyes.
"You are not, as you put it, my *prey*," Angelus said slowly, and Willow's
heart skipped a beat.
I mumble, she thought wildly. And he can hear me! Stop it, me! Wait, am I
doing it now?
"Yes," Angelus said, "and you are *mine*. I don't have to chase you, hunt
you or catch you." His voice seemed to be on a downward slope, sliding down
into growling territory, getting deep and rough now, and he punctuated each
word with a slight shake that flung Willow's head back and left her dizzy
and blurred.
"On the other hand..." Angelus continued, and the sudden shift from molten
anger to pure sensuality made her skin crawl with... relief? Fear? Willow
couldn't tell any more. Crawling was her skin's natural condition at this
point.
"If I *want* to chase you..." Angelus said, and one of his hands slipped to
the small of her back. "If I *choose* to hunt you..." And he leaned his
weight into her, slowly forcing her to the carpet. His next words were
breathed an inch from her mouth, the cool air tingling against her lips. " I
'll always catch you, Willow. Again, and again and again..."
Willow's thoughts were a tangled mass of panic and hatred and the softness
of the carpet against her back and the stifling darkness that surrounded her
and the hardness of Angelus' body pressed against her own and the fear that
she wasn't going to get out of there alive. A thousand confused things all
pressed into a tight little ball in the center of her chest and a frantic
waiting for what was going to happen next.
And then it was happening, no more waiting, Angelus' mouth pressed tight to
hers, hard and hurting like he didn't care if she could breathe or not, and
no more air in her lungs. Willow gasped, suddenly afraid, more afraid of
this than of anything, but closing her lips against him didn't work and then
there were ridges pressing against her forehead and fangs biting at her lips
and the pain of that and the fear when he licked away the blood and hoping
that he'll get distracted and just bite her already, please, please, but his
mouth was already back on hers and there was no denying it, he was kissing
her.
Kissing her again, she should say, and this time he was smart enough to
force her lips to open, so strange when that happened, she's not quite sure
how it happened, but there it was and Angelus was holding her head tight in
an iron grip while his smooth cool tongue was in her mouth now, her mouth,
Willow's mouth, and it was getting very difficult to pretend that it wasn't
happening. It was so different from Oz, different from Dream Xander too,
and knowing it was *Angelus*, evil Angelus, evil murder-torturer-Buffy's
boyfriend Angelus, was really freaking out her mind but her body didn't seem
to get the concept.
It was something like an itch, Willow thought clinically as her hips started
to move on their own, just a little, rocking just a little, and then her
hand was in his hair and she wasn't quite sure how it'd got there.
Willow could feel it when Angelus smiled against her mouth, and she was just
about to respond by pulling away when he beat her to it, his mouth suddenly
gone, and the smile that she'd felt very much in evidence as she looked up
at him through half-closed eyes.
He was surprisingly gentle when he tilted her head to the side, a good
thing, she thought, because her body felt like it had melted, or maybe
evaporated entirely. And then the next thing was the sharp pain in her neck
and Angelus' body trembling against hers. She didn't struggle. It was
almost a relief, after all. It meant that it was over.
Willow was almost used to it now, the black drowning feeling when the blood
was going out and the world was closing in, the pain at first unbearable and
then just a dull localized ache. And then should come the unconsciousness,
but Angelus was pulling away and Willow was still conscious, though dizzy.
Which was good, Willow supposed, but it would have been so much simpler if
she'd been unconscious.
Angelus got to his feet quicker than she could see, no longer a weight on
Willow's chest but a tall figure standing over her. And damn it, Willow
thought hazily, she still wasn't unconscious, although she almost made it
when Angelus reached down and dragged her up so fast that her head seemed to
turn inside out. But no, still no fainting, because that was just the way
her luck was running tonight.
Willow swayed, couldn't get her feet to work right, and would have fallen if
Angelus hadn't been holding her wrists so tightly. He wasn't looking at her
though, he was staring past her into the darkness around them and his eyes
were yellow and shining. Willow twisted slightly in his grip and looked
around nervously, trying to see what had alarmed him.
"Lights," Angelus said, and the darkness burned away into light.
Willow blinked and blinked again and finally had to close her eyes for a few
seconds against the brightness. When she opened them again, she could see.
And she really, really wished she couldn't.
Because there they were. Standing along the walls, draped over couches,
crouched no more than a few feet from where she stood. Vampires.
Her eyes skipped from one to the other as though she could make them
disappear and it was even worse than she'd thought, because they were all
staring at her, watching *her*, not Angelus, and the one crouched on the
floor was so close that she could have reached out and touched him, ruffled
his soft brown hair, but she thought that he'd probably bite her hand if she
tried.
Wait, Willow thought. She'd lost a lot of blood and she could still taste
Angelus' mouth on hers, but wait.
How long had they been there?
Had they been there when Angelus was laying down the rules?
Had they been there when she tried to get away?
Had they been there when he. when she. well, they must have been, right?
And so they'd seen everything. Heard the little noises that she hoped she
hadn't made. Oh no, no, no, this was humiliation on a whole new level,
this was Cordelia times ten times her entire high school career up until the
day Buffy sat down beside her.
And it was horrible because they were still watching her, so many pairs of
golden eyes watching the blood rush to her face.
Angelus growled low in his throat and said, "She's *mine*, proven and
witnessed. Anyone here want to argue it?" His burning eyes sought out each
vampire in turn. "Don't be shy."
One by one, the vampires shook their heads. One by one, with palpable
regret, they said, "Yours."
When the door slammed behind them, Willow turned to face Angelus. He was
leaning against the door back to the Bronze, an expectant look on his face.
She took a step towards him and he shook his head, smiling at her.
Willow lowered her head to hide her eyes.
"I'm yours," she said to his feet, and thought about killing him.
_______
Tell me what you think?
Ah, the fun. Angelus definitely has my heart, and not in the same way that
he has the internal organs of many other people. That is to say, not in a
jar.
No, I like him in that mushy way that means I'd send him Valentines with no
return address mailed from anonymous postal codes if I could be very very
sure he'd never find me. What can I say, I'm a romantic. But a pragmatic
one. *g*
In other news, I have a livejournal now! Shocking, eh? But probably a
good place to go if you want to pester me, harass me, or possibly even just
talk to me. All my new fics will be posted there as I attempt to organize
myself to some degree, as well as all of my drawings:
www.livejournal.com/users/ashjay/
Drop by and say hello.
Ash "Friendly and Harmless" Jay