Lessons Well Learned

By Violet Ice

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Kaoru didn't come to pick her up.

Kaoru wasn't waiting in their usual spot.

Kaoru and Meibi were bent over a math book together, whispering and giggling like they were the best of friends.

The second she trudged into homeroom, Misao saw the two of them together, laughing like there was no tomorrow. Meibi held her bangs so that the rest of her face was visible and her emerald eyes danced with amusement. She was leaned across her desk, the rest of her hair pooling around her shoulders, clashing terribly with her lime green shirt. Kaoru was sitting backwards in the chair in front of her, ponytail sliding over her shoulder as she spoke. Then she glanced up and caught sight of Misao in the doorway.

Their eyes met for a moment, then Kaoru blinked, turning back to Meibi. She leaned closer, whispering fervently, and Meibi peered over her shoulder, her bangs falling black into place with the movement. A smug grin crossed her face as she turned back to Kaoru, one finger twining through her long hair.

Misao stared at them for a moment. What the hell??? Why are they talking to one another? Why are they acting like friends? And what the hell were they looking at me for?! Well, if Kaoru wants to hang around with HER it won't bother me. I can get a new best friend easily…Can't I? But Kaoru and I have been friends for a long time…

She almost had half a mind to go over to Kaoru and ask her what she was doing, then apologize for being rude the day before. But then, she remembered Kaoru being rude to her too. This required both of them to be sorry and to Misao it didn't look as if Kaoru was the least bit sorry. She looked like she was having fun. Like she didn't care at all that Misao was standing there in the doorway, all alone and…vulnerable.

The wealthy girl suddenly felt very exposed. Without Kaoru, who would be her buffer against the rest of the world? Kaoru's voice -Or do you want me to make up the same little lies that every one else does to cushion you from cold reality?- echoed through her mind. This was brutal reality. She was all alone. No one really cared.

No one…

Her cerulean eyes widened and her mind began to whirl, searching for any person who had shown her just a bit of kindness recently, any person who's actions weren't superficial and condescending. Some one must care! Some one has to love me for me and not my money…Some one; any one…

…So why can't I think of any one?

She looked around the classroom, taking in the happy, cheerful students around her. Seeing them there, carefree, content, made her wonder what the past few years of her life had meant. Had she ever been so happy as that? Safe in her cocoon of lies, falsity and money-grubbing, was she truly happy? Kaoru told her -not in so many words, but still- that people would always be willing to do anything for her so long as she had money. Her friend had answered her question truthfully, but said that others would lie.

Would they?

Her gaze swept across the room, coming to rest on a brown-haired, blue-eyed boy. "Yutaro," She sank down into the chair next to his desk, "What would you do if…"

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As the bell rang, Aoshi pulled off his glasses and slid them into their case. Then he gathered his notes, his physics text book and his book bag and got up to leave the room for lunch.

"Oh, Aoshi, if you could spare a moment…" The teacher beckoned him over to her desk.

Five minutes later, he was again preparing to leave the room. This time, he was able to.

Heading down the hall, he heard the sound of a locker angrily being slammed shut. This was not an uncommon sound, but since the hall was pretty much deserted -all the kids were either in class or eating lunch- it sent a lonely, empty feeling through the boy. He wondered who was angry and why.

And he found out soon enough.

Rounding a corner, he crashed smack dab into none other than Misao.

She, being smaller than him in both size and build, tumbled to the ground, landing on her bottom with a thud. He could only stare for a moment, watching her fall, everything seeming to screech to a halt as she landed, and he knew -he just knew- there would be a tantrum of sorts once she regained her wind.

Still in slow motion, she looked up, the cerulean oceans that were her eyes meeting the frozen wastelands that were his. Their gaze locked for a moment as she stared, open-mouthed, her hands planted on the floor as if she would fall over backwards otherwise.

She did not disappoint with the expected tantrum.

However, the outburst was not exactly what he expected.

"Ahh! I hate this place! I hate it here; I want to go home and nobody cares about me; they all lied and now I'm on the floor and I'm filthy and everything is all your fault and oh God I hate you! I hate you! I hate you; I hate you! You ruined everything! My birthday, my outfit, my life! Why can't you just go away??" She buried her face in her hands, her thin shoulders shaking as she tried to conceal her sobs.

It didn't work.

Aoshi didn't know what to say. The only experience he'd ever had with anything remotely close to a crying woman was Kamatari and he didn't quite count. Besides, when Kamatari cried, Miru was always the one who took care of him. What was he supposed to do in a situation like this? He didn't have a clue.

Ask her what's wrong, dummy! His brain screamed, but his mouth couldn't seem to obey his mind. Though he was moved to pity by the site of her there, crumpled on the floor, nothing which came to mind seemed adequate to say.

"Get up."

She jerked away when she felt his hand under her elbow as if he wanted to help her up. "Leave me alone!" How could he possibly understand how miserable she was? She was crying in front of him for the second time within twenty-four hours and all he could say was "get up"?

"You can't stay here." His voice was rich, deep, everything it should be laced with a hint of concern. "What will people say if they see you here crying?"

"To hell with them." She spat the words out between sobs, curling up in a little ball, her arms wrapped protectively around her legs.

He sighed. This was going nowhere fast. "Look, whatever happened to you today, it couldn't be that bad. Now come on, get up." He wanted her to get up for his own good more than hers. He couldn't stand the sight of her there, pathetic and miserable on the cold floor of the school. If Miru were there, he would undoubtedly make some sort of snide comment about how the mighty had fallen, after all, he'd said so himself that he'd love to tear her to pieces, but Aoshi…He couldn't bring himself to hate her when she was in that state.

"Why are you doing this? Why?" Her voice was muffled by the fabric of her sleeves, "Why pretend you care?"

"Pretend?" He blinked, "Who's pretending? I do everything sincerely." He crouched down before her, looking at the top of her head and her bangs as the feel over her arms, "Is that what this is all about?" As he stared at her shiny tresses, her slight, still trembling form, something unusual happened.

He felt his heart turn with pity for her.

And Aoshi had never pitied any one before.

"Please; get up." He begged, "Sitting here crying isn't going to make it better." He wanted her to stop more than anything. Seeing her there so sad and breakable made his heart ache. He felt like he was coming unraveled; something about her on the floor and suffering made him want to tear down his carefully built walls.

"Aoshi, just leave me alone!" She choked out, "Everything was fine until you came along and messed it all up."

"I won't leave you alone until I know you're okay. If it's my fault that you're upset, I want to help fix it." He looked at her, his hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry. I never meant to do this to you."

She looked up, her face wet with tears, her eyes red from crying. "You're sorry? You're really sorry? What did you mean to do then?"

Again with the questions. She questioned everything he did. "I wanted to teach you history. That's all." Without even thinking about what he was doing, he reached out and brushed back her hair, "Lunch is almost over. Do you want something to eat?"

"No. I'm not hungry. I must look terrible now…How am I supposed to face every one else like this?" She sniffled.

"Hopeless." He shook his head, "What happened to 'to hell with them'?" A faint trace of a smile crossed his face as he fished in his pocket for a tissue, "Here. Just wipe the make-up off. You don't need it anyway." He patted her on the head as he rose to wander down the hall, "I'll see you Wednesday."

"Wait!" She stopped him by grabbing the strap of his book bag.

"What?" He half-turned, frozen gaze meeting hers.

"I've got a test on Monday. Can…Can you help me study for it?"

He looked at her for a moment, taking in her tear-streaked face, her wide, pleading eyes. He felt his heart do a strange somersault in his chest and the smile widened the tiniest bit. "If you want me to. I have to work all day Saturday, but I'm free Sunday afternoon. Would you like me to come to your house?"

"No!" Her expression was suddenly one of panic.

"Oh. Right. You'd be ashamed to bring some one like me to your house, wouldn't you?" His brow furrowed beneath his bangs, "That's okay."

"I'm not ashamed of you." She retorted. I'm ashamed of the way my parents act…"I'd just rather go somewhere else."

"You can come to my house. It's not as nice as yours, but it is quiet and a comfortable place to study."

"All right." She nodded, "I know where your house is. Kaoru lives near you."

"Okay. Until Sunday then."

Another nod. Then. "Aoshi?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Her head bowed, hair hiding her face, and he wondered what she was feeling, having to say thank you to the poor boy.

"You're welcome." For a fleeting moment, the smile broke into a full-fledged grin. To see her humble, it made her seem almost human. As terrible as it was to say, he didn't mind her so much when she was like this.

She watched as he ambled away, examining his stride, his lean body, the way his hair bounced against the back of his head as he walked. He is so fine…She pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she got up from the floor. He really does seem to care about me, but it doesn't matter…He's going to graduate in the spring, he's going to go away, and he's going to forget about me. He's only my tutor; there's no point in getting attached to him.

But still…