Chapter 11- Fighting the past
The words echoed through Faith's mind, freezing thought, emotion and time. It seemed as though the clock, just for that split second has slowed to minutes. Eyes wide and face caught in a horrified expression, she couldn't move, couldn't think. All her emotions had been removed from her and had suddenly rushed back in surprise. A swarm of memories replayed, and consequence was playing its toll.
Blinking a few times she realised Tala was still staring at her, waiting and anticipating her thoughts. Nervously he scuffed his shoe on the gravel path, his lip pink from biting it with anxiety. After seeing Faith's reaction, his head fell limply in disgrace and despair.
Faith watched the boy's expression change, but watch was all she could do. She wanted to speak, wanted to know, and suddenly had the urge to comfort. Yet want was not enough and no words escaped the unusual prison of her throat.
The awkward silence between the two seemed to grow rapidly as the seconds passed. Unpleased, Tala muttered something after a while, and began to walk away. He had managed to take a few shaky steps when Faith's pleading voice stopped him, "Please, Tala wait"
It had taken the girl a while to choke out those few words, and her grey eyes saddened as she heard the response the boy had given, "Maybe I…shouldn't have told you" he had said, mostly to himself, a sad smile forming on his colour-less face, although he knew she wouldn't' see it because he had not had the courage to turn around and confront her solemn look.
"Tala, you're wrong…I'm glad you told me" Faith replied quietly staring at the back of his hooded jumper. Even then the boy did not turn around, and Faith, deciding to give him a moment alone turned to the open front door. "Come inside when you're ready" she said quietly, before stepping onto the carpeted hall, and disappearing inside.
Faith had allowed her feet to guide her to the dull kitchen. The atmosphere was dark and gloomy as it had been outside and because of the lack of light the cupboards loomed down on her weak frame and the fishes painted delicately on the sky-blue tiles seemed to glare angrily at her, watching her every move.
The click of the front door, and the soft padding sound heading towards the kitchen tore her eyes away from the fish and she busied herself by filling up the kettle, her face purposely turned away from the kitchen entrance. Yet when Tala appeared at the door, silently and unspoken, she knew he was there, could feel him in a way that was uncertain to her as well.
The room had filled with a small amount of warmth that had been missing moments before.
"How about some hot chocolate?" she asked, playing with a lock of silky dark hair, and breaking the darkened silence that had emerged once again. Tala nodded and muttered a positive response.
Faith, finding herself with nothing more to do, finally found the courage to face the boy, but Tala was not paying attention. He was lent against the plastered blue wall, his eyes closed and his red hair falling limply next to his eye-lids.
Watching him closely, she could see the turmoil he was suffering and a pang of guilt settled in her mind. Why had she been so selfish? He was her friend, there was no difference in him, in fact she was seeing the boy in a while new light. The care-free, outgoing blue-eyed young man had his problems, yet he had always gone out of his way to help her, and this was how she had repaid him?
All of a sudden, the loud whistle from the kettle sounded and steam erupted from the spout, awakening Tala. His eyes opened, revealing a sea of glumness and the icy flame that usually burned within as now blown out in dejection. As orbs met, there was no longer shock or surprise, masks and disguises had been shattered and all that was left was the understanding of two friends.
"I'm sorry Tala, sorry about my reaction, sorry about my impulsive behaviour, sorry about everything" the slender female apologised barely above a hoarse whisper, yet still holding eye-contact.
A moment passed before Tala spoke, he had wanted his speech to come out flawless, but was still unsure of how he should express his feelings. Knowing that his friend had made several attempts to talk, he knew it was time to explain.
Settling down on the comfortable couch the two were ready. One ready to listen, the other prepared to talk. And although Tala had been dreading the moment of truth, since he had discovered his true-form, he was no longer as tense as he had been five minutes before, and perhaps relief of draining a hefty secret from his chest was beneficial after all.
Directing his attention back to Faith, who was waiting intently for him to begin, he started his long explanation of truth.
"This is a long story" he warned sighing, but Faith remained listening and so he continued, "See, I'm from Russia, I was born there and raised in a special Abbey for orphans. I lived at this Abbey, adopted by a man called Boris, who was the Abbey leader. We respected what he told us, followed whatever rules he set out and believed in whatever we were forced to believe." He paused to check the girl was listening, which she was.
"Russia followed the Eastern Orthodox Church, so naturally so did Boris, and therefore so did I. We prayed everyday, read the bible and followed the teachings of the Church strictly." He laughed suddenly, an outburst of emotions surprising the dark haired girl.
"Sanctimonious I tell you, fucking sanctimonious that man, Boris, that bastard" he spat, "always punished us for any kind of blasphemy, any kind of sin, and kind of feeling! Look at this Faith" he spoke full of passion, pulling up his top and showing Faith his back. There two large red scars remained crossing over his deathly white skin.
"You know what they did to me? We had a team battle once, and my team won, I hugged my partner, wound my arms around him, that's all, do you know how I suffered, Faith? Those guards, those damn bastard guards, they put me up in front of all the kids in the abbey, Boris watching, sneering at me. I was only ten Faith, just ten. They stripped the clothes off my torso, tied a thick leather belt around my waist to cover my kidneys. Two guards stood next to me, holding large whips, the kind they used on the horses. The crack sounded and the rush of pain I felt I'll never forget, the guards whipped me in a crossing motion, so I couldn't escape the pain. I took that first beating, didn't make a sound, didn't cry, didn't show emotion" he took a deep breath, closing his eyes savouring the garish memory.
"Boris stood up, and pointed at me so all the boys could see. He called me a Satan worshipper, told me I was diseased because I possessed what he called the 'homosexual gene' he insulted me, he took away my dignity and he warned all the others to not get involved with me. All because of a hug, aren't people allowed to show their feelings? No! Boris didn't think so. The dreaded order followed- thirty whips. Perhaps horses have thick skin Faith, but a mere ten year old boy doesn't, not thick enough to be whipped like an animal.
All I can remember is up to the tenth whip, blood pools around my feet, Boris yelling to whip harder, eyes intently watching me, but all the voices were drowned out by screams, screams that I didn't even know were coming from me."
Faith studied his form; a single tear clung entwined between his eyelashes, slowly making its way down his pale cheek. Her gaze shifted to his lap, his fingers clenched into tight fists, his knuckles almost white and his body shaking with emotion.
He inhaled suddenly, his heart raced faster, pounding harder, trying to rid the lump forming in his throat, but nausea washed over him. His eyes grew wide with fear, his pale fingers clenching at Faith's arms in despair. She wrapped her arms around the boy protectively; his head nestled dependently on her shoulder. Calmly she stroked his back, tracing the marks of his past. Tears spilled freely from his clouded blue eyes, washing away the pain and grief. The room remained silent; the only sound was coming from the choked sobs, which escaped the boy.
I would like to thank all the great people that reviewed last chapter! I thought you would have all forgotten breakdown, but I'm going to try my best to update ASAP now, (ok ryoki 1-lol) (and I know it was an angsty chapter-*sigh* poor tala!)
Firstly, to Nicky (scarlet diamonds)- (go read her fics, they rock) thank you so much for all the support and being there through all the chapters be them bad or good. To elfy for always reading every chapter, and those at tnk too. To mira who has had to put up with me reading my drafts over and over until the words are probably oozing out of her brain and soza who doesn't even like beyblade but reads this for me.
Those who reviewed last chapter- Ryoki (yah kai is getting evil!), Coppelia (seriously your fic rocks, and I promise bryan will come soon enough!), Light*death*paranoia- (thanks so much), Faith-007 (even if you are mad at me), Dark ice Dragon- (I tried to upload as fast as possible!), tenma koneko (more twists to follow), kai-baby(thanks and yep I updated), F.A star hawk (thanks), White wolf spirit (haha you'll have to wait to see more on kai!), Life of tears (yup yup, poor tala), Azn*pyro*arcada (thanks for telling me what you liked, it really helps!^__^) whisper*2*imaginary (bwahaha Johnny torture=good, but tala torture=bad)
And to any of you reading that don't bother reviewing-lol!
Please review some more, more reviews= faster update!