Disclaimer: I am not legally entitled to any entity pertaining to or directly related with Card Captor Sakura, I have no exclusive right to the storyline, characters, etc. (what'd I just say? I'm not sure that even makes sense.....)
Chapter 6
Syaoran woke to early morning light streaming in through his window. He moaned and shifted then gasped when pain shot through him. He let out a shaky breath and hoisted himself up so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. His skin felt sticky. He looked over the bed and found it partially bloodied, his clothes were still quite bloody as well. He needed a shower, he needed to change.
He got up and collected one of his two outfits that he had brought from his house. He was glad it was black. Strangely, he didn't cry. He looked more dead than alive, looking at him was almost morbid. Or perhaps he didn't cry because he simply had no tears left. He had so many questions but he was so disconnected with himself they seemed to fade away.
Was Touya and Sakura home? And if they were, were they asleep? Did they see his trail of blood? Did he even leave a trail of blood? Was his family dead? Was he going to join them?
It seemed pointless. Nothing registered in Syaoran's head. Though he was sure he had the answers to those questions. Touya and Sakura were probably asleep in their beds, Touya had been too busy with Sakura to notice the blood and Sakura was probably still unconscious. His family was dead and he hoped, at least, that he would join them.
Something had changed in Syaoran, not that anyone would notice, no one ever did. Syaoran knew his family was dead. He took their power, their protection, he killed them. The air around Syaoran was practically cracking with power. He felt ill, he didn't think he could make it all the way to the bathroom.
It was ironic, Syaoran had spent his whole life protecting them when there was no threat, then when they really needed him, when their was a threat, he failed them. He wanted so badly to see them. The thought made him a strange combination of sad, hopeless, and longing. He wanted to be with them.
Syaoran pushed his way through the door and into the hall still grasping his clothing. The hall was illuminated in an angelic baby yellow light. Syaoran stumbled to the bathroom, which was luckily for him, unoccupied. Syaoran clicked on the light and set his clothes on the lid of the toilet turning around to lock the door.
He still didn't understand. Why? Why had Jin-Lang........? And his family, they hadn't done anything to anyone. Would Jin-Lang attack him here? Then a thought struck him.
......................little wolf..................................................................
Did Jin-Lang already visit him? Touya had said that he hadn't come in to check on Li. Syaoran suddenly became panicked. Was he putting the Kinomoto's in danger?
Syaoran realized he wasn't breathing and sucked in a breath. He sunk against the wall, tears all cried up. He did nothing but stare. Then something happened. Syaoran had no doubt that it was only due to his new found power that he had been allowed to witness it.
A beautiful woman floated into the room. She had dark hair and a comforting aura and Syaoran recognized her as the 'spirit' who had comforted him before. She stood across from him and stared back into his shocked face. She spoke with authority, her face a mask of seriousness.
"Hello, Syaoran. I am Touya's and Sakura's mother. You may have felt me before. Though now, you have the power to see me."
Syaoran couldn't think of anything to say.
"I know this must be confusing for you. Let me clarify, I guard Sakura. I, unlike the living, can sense everything. Even frozen auras."
She gave him a pointed look. She looked sad.
"I..I want to help you."
"You can't help me." Syaoran was surprised at himself as he spit the words out.
"I was with Sakura in the hospital. You'll have to forgive me, I was worried about her, I thought you and Eriol could handle it. Apparently I was wrong. I never knew until I felt a power shift. I realized the power had gone to you and I was confused. Many auras disappearing just like that. With your new power I felt you push the dark aura back. Only when Sakura was brought home early this morning and I came to check on you did I realize what happened." She finished with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
Syaoran's heart was racing. Someone knew. He was been jump started out of his emotionlessness. Syaoran looked at her, horrified. She looked down at him sadly, as if she was the cause.
"You need help. I think you may need to go to the hospital."
"No." Syaoran squeaked out.
"Please let someone know, you need help." Her eyes pleaded with him. This was Sakura's mom, his mind told him. He suddenly felt bitter. Sakura and Touya had lost a wonderful mother. He wished he was so fortunate.
"I need to shower." He stated quietly. She was obliviously not expecting that response, a fight maybe, but it was like he was barely listening at all. He was so unresponsive. She nodded at him, looking like she wanted to say more but had restrained herself. She looked back at him once before disappearing through the door once again.
He climbed into the shower and cranked the hot water. It was scolding. He took a bar of soap and scrubbed through the pain. The pain soon became nothing but a dull ache. He watched as the water swirled down the drain, tinged yellow and pink with his blood.
By the time Syaoran climbed out of the shower his skin was pink with irritation. Syaoran stared at himself for the first time since yesterday in the mirror. There were dark circles under his eyes and bruises all over him with the occasional slashed cut. Though none of the cuts were deep enough for stitches they still looked gruesome. Syaoran ignored them and focused on his face. Nothing. His lips were swollen and his eyes were pink and puffy with dark circles but other than that his face was unscathed. Did Jin-Lang do that on purpose? Was it so no one would notice anything drastically different about him aside from his newly acquired limp?
Syaoran picked up a black sweater and slipped it on. The coarse material was irritating his skin as he usually wore another shirt beneath it. After a painful ten minutes he had also managed to dress the bottom half of himself. He sat on the toilet, wincing, and put his socks on his feet, surprised on of his feet had a long thin bruise across it. He resisted the urge to go back into his room and wear another set of clothes under his first ones.
Syaoran brought a wet face cloth with him. He crawled along the floor wiping the blood leading to his door. It took him considerably longer to go down the stairs and clean the blood. When he finished cleaning the blood and looked out to the walkway he was glad to see that the blood could barely be seen. It blended in with the sidewalk and the dirt. As he made his way to the living room he realized why no one had seen the blood.
Sakura was curled up on the couch, he brother a little way away sleeping in a chair. Their mom was hovering over Sakura but seemed to be distracted.
"Syaoran." She called as soon as he fully entered the room. "Come, Touya will be waking in a little while. You can talk with him. I'm afraid it might be a little awkward for you but I know he'll help." When Syaoran did answer she continued. "Or if you'd prefer you could wait for Sakura to wake up, she won't be up for awhile, not until tonight at least, she has a minor concussion. Still, if you'd be more comfortable talking with her, I would understand."
"Gomen nasai." Syaoran answered tonelessly and quietly as not to wake the Kinomoto siblings, "but I need no help. I know what I have to do."
Nadeshiko frowned and Syaoran limped out of the room.
Syaoran held the phone in his hand, debating whether or not to call. He knew they were dead. They had to be. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the phone. If he called and it was confirmed he knew he would breakdown. It was stupid, he shouldn't be calling. He knew his worse fear would be confirmed yet he knew he needed to face it. The urge to call became more urgent. Syaoran dialed the familiar numbers before he could stop himself.
Soon an operated answering machine came on.
" This is a number of a member of the Li-Clan. If you have called for information on a friend, loved one, etc. Who was part of the Li-Clan let me be the first to give my condolences. Yesterday afternoon a terrible tragedy struck the Li-Clan, China's most renowned and prestigious Clan. It has been described as a massacre. While some bodies can be identified, most can't. The assumption is all 137 members of the Li-Clan were wiped out. If there is any one belonging to the Li-Clan they are to step forth along with proof. If no heir can be found the money will all be donated to the Chinese government. This is a courtesy recording from-"
Syaoran let out a mournful sob, dropping the phone, and slipping to the floor. He felt like crying, but no tears came. No survivors, echoed in his head and dry sobs wracked his body. The mournful cries emitting from his broken form were almost inhuman. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his head in his arms. He cried out in surprise as strong arms lifted him off the ground. He struggled and writhed, still refusing to open his eyes. He felt himself being carried up the stairs and found it futile to try fighting with the form carrying him. He resignedly leaned against the figure and took a deep breath. What if it was Jin-Lang?
His mind faintly registered a gasp of surprise as a door was pushed open, one he could only guess was his one. Another few steps and another door was open and soon he was set down on a bed. Hands came and grabbed his shoulder, shaking him. Syaoran squeezed his eyes harder and tried to disconnect himself from the pain of his bruised and slashed shoulder. The shaking stopped.
Syaoran curled up onto his side and lay as silent and still as a statue. He heard footsteps leave the room and go down the stairs. Soon he could feel Nadeshiko's presence in the room, hanging by the door. He curled up tighter into his little ball. Some of his cuts felt sticky and he was again thankful for the black clothes.
He lost sense of time and he didn't know how long it was until a few sets of footsteps made their way to him.
"I found him like this. I don't know what's wrong with him."
"Where did you find him?"
"In the kitchen."
"There's something different about him."
"I know. I was hoping you could get Yue to tell me."
Syaoran heard some strange sounds but stayed firmly in his position. He heard a gasp.
"What happened to him?" Asked a cold voice.
"I don't know. What's wrong with him?"
"He has more power. There's something else different."
"What do I do? Why is he acting like this?"
"I don't know and I do not care unless it will compromise my Mistress's safety."
"Well, I'd say it already has."
"Where is the guardian Keroberos?"
"He's downstairs sleeping with Sakura." The voice paused for a second. "Well, what are we doing to do?"
"Nothing. There is no threat. Clow Reed's incarnation has said so himself."
"Yes, but that can't be all. How could it hurt Sakura and then just die when the gaki says not even two words."
"Eriol is researching now. He has told me that we have nothing to worry about."
"That kid? Well, that's sure assuring. Gee, thanks, I'll sleep better tonight."
"You would do well to watch your words concerning Clow Reed."
Syaoran finally realized who they were. Touya and Yukito. Or rather, Touya and Yue. Syaoran wanted to die. What if they found out. Could Yue see Nadeshiko? He could still feel her presence in the room. He cracked one eye open. Nadeshiko noticed and knelt by his bedside. She looked worried and he opened both his eyes as she spoke to him.
"Syaoran, please tell them, I know it will be hard, but you need help."
Syaoran shook his head. Touya and Yue were still to preoccupied to notice him, he sat up. He grabbed his stomach, he was going to throw up. It only registered to Yue and Touya that Syaoran was awake when he dashed past them and down the hall into the bathroom. He started throwing up and in a few short minutes Yue and Touya were in the bathroom with him.
When Syaoran was done he put the lid down and rested his arm and head against it then reached up to flush the toilet with his other arm. Touya approached him.
"Hey kid, are you alright?" He asked in a soft voice that was not his usual.
Syaoran shuddered.
"What happened? Can you tell me that?"
Syaoran looked up and gave the boys a bitter smile.
"I killed it. Didn't Eriol tell you?" Touya paused confused. Yue continued for him.
"That is not what was meant. I want to know why your power has increased and how you defeated the dark aura."
"And what's wrong with you." Touya added, glaring at Yue. Syaoran sighed and gave a creepy childish giggle.
"Eriol can tell you how I defeated the dark aura. As for me gaining power," Syaoran paused. "My family's dead."
They were pretty much stunned to silence. Syaoran started giggling, tears finally coming and rolling down his cheeks. Touya stood horrified. Yue finally gathered his wits and bent down to Syaoran's level. For once, he looked sympathetic, or at the very least understanding.
"Can you tell me who did that?"
Syaoran hiccuped. He started to speak, ignoring Yue's question. "I loved them, I loved them all. I used to think I would love him too, I should. Everyone else loved him. I don't love him now. Look at what he did, he won't even let me join my family. I deserve it, I killed them.... I want to die." The last part came out as a moan of anguish. Yue became alarmed.
"No, that's wrong.....you can't." Yue was at a loss for words. Touya was still in the doorway, stunned to silence.
Syaoran turned away. Nadeshiko looked at him, almost desperate.
"I'm sorry Nadeshiko-sama, I remember that was what Sakura called you. I'm sorry."
Syaoran was babbling. He felt guilty. He just couldn't stop hurting innocent people. Some hero he turned out to be.
Touya, hearing his mothers name, came back to reality. He shuffled past Yue to Syaoran. He scooped him up and walked back to his father's room, Yue following. Yue stopped at the door as Syaoran hung motionless in Touya's arm staring into thin air.
"I'm going to get Kero, I'll call Eriol-sama on the way back up. I feel something is very wrong here."
Touya nodded and for the second time that day lay Syaoran on the bed, covering him with the blankets. Yue headed downstairs.
Touya sat on the bed near Syaoran, who was still silent and unmoving. Though he had tears leaking from the corner of his eyes. Touya sighed.
"Hey, gaki, are you alright?" Syaoran didn't answer. Touya was confused. He wanted to ask why Syaoran had been talking about his mother. He grabbed Syaoran's shoulder, not expecting a reaction. Syaoran twitched and let out a whimper. Touya drew back his hand, it was a little sticky and smudged with blood. Touya looked back at Syaoran. He grabbed Syaoran's sweaters collar and yanked it down over Syaoran shoulder. Syaoran looked petrified and scared. Touya briefly wondered why before he turned his attention back to Syaoran's shoulder.
Touya was shocked and almost stumbled back. Syaoran's shoulder was black and blue, a large oval shaped bruise. He also had a slash running diagonally down his shoulder, it looked infected. Touya gave one last look at Syaoran who still looked like he was off in space somewhere and dashed off to find some medical supplies.
AN: Well? I hope you like it. I made it a little bit longer. I know it doesn't make that much of a difference, but I'm improving, even if it is only half a page at a time. Sorry. I'm also sorry if this was below your expectations. Thanks you all for reading! Oh, and sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes that made it less enjoyable.