Chapter Four: Divination
or Remus' Rome
In this chapter, I will introduce you to Trelawney's predecessor , Pricilla Park. She isn't as misty as Trelawney, but she does have odd outbursts once in a while. I know I've introduced you to characters that I haven't written about (yet), but in the next chapters they will make an appearance. So prepare yourself for yet another chapter of The Note Passers.
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Remus: This is boring. *yawns*
Sirius: I can't believe I got Acceptable in this subject! So now I have to take the stinking N.E.W.T. too.
Remus: Wake me up when it's over.
Sirius: You'll miss lots of fun! Look at Kate Quartette, she's cutting her nose hairs with her wand.
James: How do you know?
Sirius: Kreacher used to do it every week. I wonder if he still does it. He'd-
Remus: *shoves Sirius' hand so he won't continue writing* Please, Sirius. Spare me the details.
Sirius: And Park is flaring her nostrils like her life depends on it.
*James and Remus look at Park*
James: She really is.
Remus: *yawns* I'm very tired, last night was full moon, you know… *falls asleep*
James: *grins* Now we can finally test that Dream Invading Charm we've been researching.
Sirius: Yeah, baby! Groovy!
James: *looks at Sirius in disgust* What's wrong with you?
Sirius: Nothing. Ready?
*James and Sirius raise their wands, mutter a few words, and point at Remus. The next part will be spoken*
James: What's this?
Sirius: *looks around* This is what Remus dreams about? Waterfalls? Rubies? I wanted some good stuff.
James: He knows.
Sirius: He knows?
James: He knows we were planning on using the Dream Invading Charm on him.
Sirius: How?
James: Remember that day in the library when Kate Quartette said she needed to borrow a quill?
Sirius: Yeah.
James: Remember that when she came and asked us if we've got a quill, your spellbook was open at Dream Invading Charms?
Sirius: Yeah.
James: She saw us reading about those Invading Charms, and told Remus what we were up to. So he used a Warping Spell. We're now stuck in his brain.
Sirius: *in horror* In his brain?
A familiar voice that came from the sky: Duh. Where else could you be?
James: *carefully * Remus?
A familiar voice that came from the sky: Call me God
James: Hi, God.
Remus: Hello, little useless mortal.
Sirius: I hate you God.
Remus: *angrily* You hate me. HIYA! *sends a tornado to run after Sirius. Sirius runs away wildly*
Sirius: *pants while running* Sorry, God.
Remus: *calms down* Tornado Timmy, go home to Florida.
Tornado Timmy: *in a squeaky voice* Thanks, God. Now I can finally have fun in the sun! *disappears*
Remus: Good old tornado, that Timmy is. His faith never wavers. Anyway, I call this place Remus' Rome.
Sirius: Remus' Rome? That's a corny name. *remembers the tornado Remus sent* I mean… a… a… lovely name.
Remus: That doesn't even rhyme. But I'll forgive you.
Sirius: Thanks, God.
Remus: You're welcome, tiny, brainless mortal.
Sirius: Why do people always talk about the size of my brain, or if I've got one? I've got a brain, and a bloody huge one, thanks.*scowls at the sky for a long, long time*
James: Um… Sirius?
Sirius: Yeah?
James: How exactly do we get out of here?
Sirius: Ask God.
James: *looks at the sky* God?
Remus: I'll let you out, but you must visit the Shrieking Shrine first.
Sirius: Don't you mean the Shrieking Shack?
Remus: No. Even though it once was the Shrieking Shack, now it's the Shrieking Shrine – dedicated to yours truly.
James: And where would I find the shrine?
Remus: Turn left at the gift shop.
James: There's a gift shop?
Remus: Duh. So you turn left at the gift shop, and viola! You will then see the Shrieking Shrine. Have fun! Now I have a meeting of the Protection of the Werewolves Association. Goodbye! *the sound of footsteps comes from the sky*
James: There's the gift shop. *points at the gift shop*
Sirius: *walks to it* Turn left *turns left* and… *stares at the Shrieking Shack, which is now a glamorous mansion*
James: That's the Shrieking Shack?
*they open the door and creep in*
Sirius: Oh my god… *looks at the people that came to pray* Even Wormtail's here.
James: *reads from a sign* Welcome to the Shrieking Shrine. Dedicated to the founder of our religion, and our god, Remus J. Lupin. Only people who are Lupinians (that's the name of those who belong to the Lupin religion) are welcome.
Sirius: What happened to Christians?
James: Dunno…
*they look at the people that are praying*
James: Look at Peter… *points at Wormtail*
Wormtail: Are you there God? It's me, Margaret.
Everybody in the shrine (apart from Sirius and James): Are you there God? It's me, Margaret.
(A/N: Instead of me writing 'Everybody in the shrine apart from Sirius and James', I'll write; 'The other Lupinians')
Sirius: It looks like Wormtail is the lead prayer.
James: Lead prayer?
Sirius: *points at a sign* Read it.
James: *reads to himself* Everyday God chooses a special person to be the lead prayer. The lead prayer starts the famous prayer; "Are you there God?" *out loud* I can't believe this.
Wormtail: I'm your follower. I treat you well.
The other Lupinians: I'm your follower. I treat you well.
Wormtail: God, I am forever enslaved to you. I am forever in your debt.
The other Lupinians: God, I am forever enslaved to you. I am forever in your debt.
James: I can't believe this.
Wormtail: God, I love you.
The other Lupinians: God, I love you.
Wormtail: I worship the land you created. I pray to it everyday.
The other Lupinians: I worship the land-
James: Hey Sirius! Look at that sign!
Sirius: *silently reads from a new sign that magically appeared*: If you do not belong to Lupianian religion, please say 'I do not belong to the Lupinian religion,' and you will shortly arrive to where you were before.
Sirius and James: I do not belong to the Lupinian religion.
*the world spins and they return to the Divination classroom. Remus is now awake. The Marauders pass notes once again*
Sirius: Now you think that you can get away with that. But you won't. *throws the note at Remus*
James: Remus' Rome? The Shrieking Shrine? That's just sick.
*the bell rings*
Remus: *mutters to himself* Saved by the bell.
A/N: Sorry for not updating for a while, had a bad case of writer's block. So I hope this extra-long chapter made up for it. I hope it was funny, too. As usual, lotsa luv to my wonderful reviewer; MrS.-DrAcO-MaLfOy, and a huge thanx to No One Knows and Someone Reading . -Padfoot the Marauder