Authors Note: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! As
I'm sure I've said countless times, I love it when people review/instant
message me when they like my fiction, it gives me encouragement! Please
enjoy!
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"James, could you please tell me the three most hazardous types of Muggles?"
James started. He had been half asleep, reclining peacefully against his Muggle studies textbook, reflecting over his first week at Hogwarts.
Turning bright red, he stammered, "Could you repeat the question please, Professor?"
Professor Rubberduck heaved a huge exaggerated sigh, "Uh. James! You must pay attention, what if I decided to give a pop quiz? Fine, Mr. Black."
Sirius grinned smugly at James and said in an innocent voice, "Bad pop stars, example: The Cheeky girls - they might sing you to death and in the face of such horrendous music some of your senses might dessert you, Journalists - the buggers see everything and write it all down, they can easily spot you doing magic and will inform the whole Muggle community, they are particularly horrible because they can make up lies and everyone will believe them and Jehovah Witnesses, because they move in packs and will shout gospel messages at you until your ears explode."
James scowled and kicked Sirius under the desk.
Professor Rubberduck beamed at Sirius, "Well done, Mr. Black. I see you've been paying attention - and obviously done your homework very completely, well done for knowing Muggle music genres and stars! Ten points for Gryffindor."
"Oh yeah." James mumbled to Sirius, "You did your homework completely, more like, you completely copied mine."
"Mr. Potter!" Rubberduck shrieked, "Talking in my class! Well I never! Five points from Gryffindor!"
Remus leaned over to James, "Shut your yap, Potter."
"Professor Rubberduck is annoying." James replied, "I was only responding to Sirius' know-it-all answer, which I may add, he got from me!"
"MR. POTTER! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU! LEAVE MY CLASSROOM AT ONCE!"
The bell rang.
"Oh, alright children." Said Professor Rubberduck, "Please remember to memorize the Cheeky Song for class on Wednesday, dismissed."
The students flooded out of the classroom. Tripping and stumbling over one another, Muggle Studies was the last class of the day, and everyone was ready to end the hard day of studying.
James was the first out of the classroom, quickly followed by Remus and Sirius, he was hungry and a visit to the kitchens sounded good.
"Turning into quite the little bookworm, aren't we, Black?" a drawling voice behind them said.
Sirius whirled around, "Snape, go shove your foul head up your arse and get away from me."
"Oooo," Snape taunted, "Temper. Temper." He turned and walked down the hall, sniggering to Lucius Malfoy as he went.
Sirius' eyes were snake like with rage, "I'll get him. The little git."
Remus laid a hand on Sirius' shoulder, "I know what will make us all happy, lets go get a nice big snack at the kitchens, shall we?"
The suggestion sounded good to all, and the boys padded off in the direction of the dungeons. They soon arrived at the small statue of the house elf and a moment later were standing on the threshold of the large Hogwarts kitchens.
The Hogwarts kitchens were unlike any kitchens seen by anyone Muggle or wizard alike, they were huge. Containing over a hundred ovens and more than a thousand cupboards. Millions of little elves scurried around like ants, talking and laughing as they stirred, mixed and baked.
Seeing the boys, one of the elves toddled over. She was smiling and as she walked she dusted the crumbs off her apron.
"Can I help you?" she asked pleasantly.
"Give us everything you can think of." Sirius said, his mouth watering at the prospect of food.
Trays of food were produced seconds later and the three boys began to eat at the speed of light.
As the feast of confectionary progressed, Sirius was unusually quiet.
"Hey, Sirius," Remus asked, "What's up with you? You're quiet."
"Well, I was just thinking. Snape's a bit daft, as I'm sure we all know. Don't you think it would be nice to help him out with his homework?"
Remus eyed Sirius suspiciously, "Do I smell a plot?"
Sirius grinned evilly and turned to one of the elves, "Excuse me, do you think that you could let me perform a .umm.cheering charm on the chicken for the Slytherin table?"
The elf gave Sirius a quizzical look, "They are unhappy?"
"Yes," said Sirius quickly, "Most unhappy. I want to cheer them up."
The elf smiled and led Sirius into the swarming beehive of the kitchens. James and Remus waited patiently for a half an hour before getting fed up.
"Lets, leave" James said to Remus, "Sirius can meet us at dinner, it starts in fifteen minutes."
The two boys proceeded to the great hall and took their seats at the Gryffindor table. Sirius arrived only a moment later, completely out of breath and looking very pleased with himself.
The plates in front of them filled magically and the entire student (and faculty) body commenced eating.
Sirius, however, was not eating, he kept looking over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. He was squirming in his seat, and seemed barely able to contain his excitement. James prepared himself for a long dose of laughter.
All of a sudden, a very large POP, filled the great hall. Everyone turned around. The Slytherins, were now dressed in golden shorts, that were so short that they only just covered their bums, and red tank tops.
One by one, they clamoured onto the Slytherin table, some had a look of panic on their faces, it seemed their legs were refusing to obey their brains.
Sirius grabbed James and Remus and forced them to turn around, "LOOK!" he said excitedly, "It's working!"
The Slytherins then began to sing, softly at first, then getting louder, "Ooo..girls, cheeky boys. Ooo, boys cheeky girls."
Everyone in the great hall exploded with laughter, even the teachers seemed to be having trouble controlling themselves, all except, Professor Rubberduck, who looked decidedly unamused.
The Slytherins began to twirl, "Never ever ask, what do you do. Never ever ask, what do you say. Never ever ask, what's in your mind. Never ever ask, if you'll be mine. Come and smile. Don't be shy."
They began to slap their rears in earnest, all of them blushing, but seemingly unable to do anything about their predicament.
"Touch, my bum. This is life. Oooo..we are the cheeky girls! You are the cheeky boys!"
Sirius had fallen on the floor he was laughing so hard, he rolled and clutched his stomach.
"OOO! CHEEKY CHEEKY!" concluded the Slytherins, suddenly the golden pants and tops were replaced by their Hogwarts robs. They rushed to sit down again.
Sirius was howling with laughter, pointing at a bright red Severus.
When the banquet was over, Sirius, James and Remus caught up with the Slytherins.
Sirius tapped Snape on the shoulder and grinned broadly, "Cheeky, Cheeky, Severus!"
Snape turned and fled.
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I hope you all liked that! For those of you who aren't British, the Cheeky Song is an actual song that is masquerading as music here in Britain. Those are the actual words to the "Cheeky Song". Please r & r even if you didn't think it was funny!
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"James, could you please tell me the three most hazardous types of Muggles?"
James started. He had been half asleep, reclining peacefully against his Muggle studies textbook, reflecting over his first week at Hogwarts.
Turning bright red, he stammered, "Could you repeat the question please, Professor?"
Professor Rubberduck heaved a huge exaggerated sigh, "Uh. James! You must pay attention, what if I decided to give a pop quiz? Fine, Mr. Black."
Sirius grinned smugly at James and said in an innocent voice, "Bad pop stars, example: The Cheeky girls - they might sing you to death and in the face of such horrendous music some of your senses might dessert you, Journalists - the buggers see everything and write it all down, they can easily spot you doing magic and will inform the whole Muggle community, they are particularly horrible because they can make up lies and everyone will believe them and Jehovah Witnesses, because they move in packs and will shout gospel messages at you until your ears explode."
James scowled and kicked Sirius under the desk.
Professor Rubberduck beamed at Sirius, "Well done, Mr. Black. I see you've been paying attention - and obviously done your homework very completely, well done for knowing Muggle music genres and stars! Ten points for Gryffindor."
"Oh yeah." James mumbled to Sirius, "You did your homework completely, more like, you completely copied mine."
"Mr. Potter!" Rubberduck shrieked, "Talking in my class! Well I never! Five points from Gryffindor!"
Remus leaned over to James, "Shut your yap, Potter."
"Professor Rubberduck is annoying." James replied, "I was only responding to Sirius' know-it-all answer, which I may add, he got from me!"
"MR. POTTER! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU! LEAVE MY CLASSROOM AT ONCE!"
The bell rang.
"Oh, alright children." Said Professor Rubberduck, "Please remember to memorize the Cheeky Song for class on Wednesday, dismissed."
The students flooded out of the classroom. Tripping and stumbling over one another, Muggle Studies was the last class of the day, and everyone was ready to end the hard day of studying.
James was the first out of the classroom, quickly followed by Remus and Sirius, he was hungry and a visit to the kitchens sounded good.
"Turning into quite the little bookworm, aren't we, Black?" a drawling voice behind them said.
Sirius whirled around, "Snape, go shove your foul head up your arse and get away from me."
"Oooo," Snape taunted, "Temper. Temper." He turned and walked down the hall, sniggering to Lucius Malfoy as he went.
Sirius' eyes were snake like with rage, "I'll get him. The little git."
Remus laid a hand on Sirius' shoulder, "I know what will make us all happy, lets go get a nice big snack at the kitchens, shall we?"
The suggestion sounded good to all, and the boys padded off in the direction of the dungeons. They soon arrived at the small statue of the house elf and a moment later were standing on the threshold of the large Hogwarts kitchens.
The Hogwarts kitchens were unlike any kitchens seen by anyone Muggle or wizard alike, they were huge. Containing over a hundred ovens and more than a thousand cupboards. Millions of little elves scurried around like ants, talking and laughing as they stirred, mixed and baked.
Seeing the boys, one of the elves toddled over. She was smiling and as she walked she dusted the crumbs off her apron.
"Can I help you?" she asked pleasantly.
"Give us everything you can think of." Sirius said, his mouth watering at the prospect of food.
Trays of food were produced seconds later and the three boys began to eat at the speed of light.
As the feast of confectionary progressed, Sirius was unusually quiet.
"Hey, Sirius," Remus asked, "What's up with you? You're quiet."
"Well, I was just thinking. Snape's a bit daft, as I'm sure we all know. Don't you think it would be nice to help him out with his homework?"
Remus eyed Sirius suspiciously, "Do I smell a plot?"
Sirius grinned evilly and turned to one of the elves, "Excuse me, do you think that you could let me perform a .umm.cheering charm on the chicken for the Slytherin table?"
The elf gave Sirius a quizzical look, "They are unhappy?"
"Yes," said Sirius quickly, "Most unhappy. I want to cheer them up."
The elf smiled and led Sirius into the swarming beehive of the kitchens. James and Remus waited patiently for a half an hour before getting fed up.
"Lets, leave" James said to Remus, "Sirius can meet us at dinner, it starts in fifteen minutes."
The two boys proceeded to the great hall and took their seats at the Gryffindor table. Sirius arrived only a moment later, completely out of breath and looking very pleased with himself.
The plates in front of them filled magically and the entire student (and faculty) body commenced eating.
Sirius, however, was not eating, he kept looking over his shoulder at the Slytherin table. He was squirming in his seat, and seemed barely able to contain his excitement. James prepared himself for a long dose of laughter.
All of a sudden, a very large POP, filled the great hall. Everyone turned around. The Slytherins, were now dressed in golden shorts, that were so short that they only just covered their bums, and red tank tops.
One by one, they clamoured onto the Slytherin table, some had a look of panic on their faces, it seemed their legs were refusing to obey their brains.
Sirius grabbed James and Remus and forced them to turn around, "LOOK!" he said excitedly, "It's working!"
The Slytherins then began to sing, softly at first, then getting louder, "Ooo..girls, cheeky boys. Ooo, boys cheeky girls."
Everyone in the great hall exploded with laughter, even the teachers seemed to be having trouble controlling themselves, all except, Professor Rubberduck, who looked decidedly unamused.
The Slytherins began to twirl, "Never ever ask, what do you do. Never ever ask, what do you say. Never ever ask, what's in your mind. Never ever ask, if you'll be mine. Come and smile. Don't be shy."
They began to slap their rears in earnest, all of them blushing, but seemingly unable to do anything about their predicament.
"Touch, my bum. This is life. Oooo..we are the cheeky girls! You are the cheeky boys!"
Sirius had fallen on the floor he was laughing so hard, he rolled and clutched his stomach.
"OOO! CHEEKY CHEEKY!" concluded the Slytherins, suddenly the golden pants and tops were replaced by their Hogwarts robs. They rushed to sit down again.
Sirius was howling with laughter, pointing at a bright red Severus.
When the banquet was over, Sirius, James and Remus caught up with the Slytherins.
Sirius tapped Snape on the shoulder and grinned broadly, "Cheeky, Cheeky, Severus!"
Snape turned and fled.
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I hope you all liked that! For those of you who aren't British, the Cheeky Song is an actual song that is masquerading as music here in Britain. Those are the actual words to the "Cheeky Song". Please r & r even if you didn't think it was funny!