Chewbecky: I am the author, for all those who didn't know… (^^)
Kakashi: sexy lady, drive me crazy *wink*…drive me—
Chewbecky: shhhhhh!! *covers his mouth* Kaka-kun, not yet!
Chewbecky: Okay, if any of you have read my other fic, you know this is gonna get really OOC. ('Da Joint Burga' is my other fic) This is my first attempt at a song fic, so please be gentle with me. Oh yeah, it seems like I'm bashing Anko, but I mean her NO harm!! I'm just trying to get some laughs, and it can't be helped b/c of the song.
Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto…is…so…grrrreeeaaatttt!!! He owns all of Naruto, not me... (-.-) Oh yeah! The song is called "Contagious" and is sung by Mr. Biggs and R.Kelly.
At Hokage's Office…
ANBU soldiers have dragged in Jiraiya, Anko, and Kakashi at around 3 a.m. that morning. Jiraiya had lost it and was kicking their sorry arses. It is now 9 a.m., and Tsunade is trying to get the story of what happened out of a distraught Jiraiya.
Tsunade: Its okay, Jiraiya. You can tell me what happened. Tell me what made you snap on Kakashi and Anko like that.
A/N: *poof* okay, this is where the song starts…
Jiraiya: *far away look in his already glassy eyes* Its 2 a.m., just gettin' in about to check my message. No one has called, but my homies and some bill collectors. My cellular rings, somebody wants to borrow money. I two way Anko, she don't hit me back, something is funny. *drops his head while shaking it side to side* So I called her mother's house and asked her 'Had she seen my baby'. I roll my six around, lookin for that missin shinobi. Got back in, turn the TV on and caught the news. Then I put my hand on my head cuz I'm so confused. And then I turned the TV down…cuz I thought I heard a squeaky sound. *looks in Tsunade's eyes* Somethins goin on upstairs, yeah. Coz I know nobody else lives here. Dun dun dun! As I get closer to the stairway, all I hear….and then I hear my baby's voice, in my ear…screamin out.
~~~~~*****flashback to the scene*****~~~~~~~
Anko: *all over Kakashi* You're contagious, touch me baby, give me what you got…
Kakashi: *not tryin to stop her* Sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild…
~~~~~~******back to reality*******~~~~~~~
Jiraiya: *grabs his hair* I just can't believe this shit....
Tsunade: *stunned in complete silence* …
Jiraiya: I ran downstairs in the closet, lookin for that forbidden jutsu…I say a prayer coz only Gamabuunta knows what I'm gonna do…*burrows his eyebrows* What I saw, was enough to drive Iruka wild. I'm in the hall, contemplatin' 'not in my own damn house.'*tryin to desperately to hold in his rage* Who would of thought that she was creepin with another man? The down low happenin to me all over again. And then I turn the TV down…
Tsunade: *now taking notes* …TV down…yeaahhh, all the way down…
Jiraiya: Coz I know I heard a squeaky sound…Somethin goin on up there, upstairs…coz I know nobody else lives here. Dun dun dun! As I get closer to the stairway, all I hear….and then I hear my baby's voice in my ear…screamin….
~~~~~*****flashback****~~~~~
Anko: *bumpin and grindin all on Kakashi* You're contagious, touch me baby, give me what you got….
Kakashi: *kinky smile* sexy lady, drive me crazy, drive me wild…
Jiraiya walks up the stairs to the doorway of the bedroom…Dun dun dun! Jiraiya opens the door…crrreeaaakkkk!
Jiraiya: *very close to having a conniption* What the hell is goin on, b'tween the sheets in my home…!?
Anko: *surprised* Jiraiya wait, lemme explain before you start to summon flames…
Jiraiya: Girl, I'm bout to have a fit!
Kakashi: *pullin the sheets up, shakin his head* Oh, it's about to be some shit. How did I get into this? Should've never came home wit dis bitch…
Jiraiya: *pointing and glaring at Anko* go down dirty woman, back to where you came from…
Anko: but baby wait—
Jiraiya: 'but wait' my ass, hit the streets. You ass is grass!!
Kakashi: *hands up in surrender* Now, Jiraiya Sama before you done...
Jiraiya: *shocked* Wait! How you know my name, son!?
Anko: Honey wait, I was gonna tell you—
Jiraiya: Ooh, this cat looks real familiar…
/Anko in the background: No, no...No, no.../
Jiraiya: *staring Kakashi down* Mmm, now don't I know from somewhere…a long time ago?
/no,no….no,no/
Kakashi: no, no…I don't think so…
/no,no….no,no…/
Jiraiya: *rubbin his chin* Yeah, yeah. I feel I know you brother, very well.
/no, no….no, no.../
Kakashi: *puts mask back on* No, no. You're mistakin me for somebody else…
Anko: Jiraiya!—
Jiraiya: *whips around* Shut up! Can't you see two men are talkin!?
Anko: but—
Jiraiya: Thought I, told your ass to get to walkin…Now I think yall better leave this place…*powers up all of his chakra* Coz I'm about to catch a case…!
~~~~~*****end of flashback*****~~~~~
A/N: the song is over now…*poof*
Tsunade: *folding her hands on her lap* I see...
Jiraiya: *almost in tears* …
Tsunade: *massaging her temples* I told you about messing with those younger women…These days, everybody cheats, Jiraiya kun.
End
A/N
Chewbecky: Yay!!! Well what do you think? Is funny, is it stupid, is it…just plain awful!?
Kakashi: *poof* Yo, I got to be naughty! *blushes while giggling insanely like a school girl*
Chewbecky: *sweatdrop* yeah and you nearly got killed by Jiraiya Sama….
Kakashi: well…somebody /besides Anko/ must've liked it! Please review ppl, and let me know how I was, being kinky and all…