Disclaimer: Don't own Star Trek, which is a shame 'cause I already spend way too much time thinking about it…
Regarding Reviews:
Keridwen: Wow, you understood that? I'm not sure I understood that…It just seemed very McCoy-like somehow.
Ensign Expendable: Yes, of course, Kirk MUST spout off about risks. Which, actually, he doesn't do in this chapter. I'll work it into the next one. Meanwhile, Ensign Jones into trouble. Twice! Will be watching for chapter 4. Amusing is always good.
Other reviewers: None at the moment, maybe because I'm posting pretty quickly.
Regarding this chapter: We're back to reactions. Pretty much anyway. More interaction between the characters then in previous chapters though. Hope you like!
Part Eight:
Minor Mechanical Malfunction
The Enterprise is en route to the Guardian of Forever. Data was advised of the plan, and agreed it seemed feasible. Starfleet was also advised of the plan. They demanded proof that Data was from the future, details on his original appearance, and the immediate return of the Enterprise to Starbase Six. The message was completely ignored. Kirk figured he'd make it up to them the next time he stopped a war on a primitive planet. While en route, Data has been talking with, interestingly enough, McCoy. They are presently in the Mess Hall:
"So, what's your chief medical officer like, on your ship?" McCoy asked idly.
Data didn't answer. McCoy looked up from his fried chicken. Data was staring straight ahead, and blinking rapidly.
"Say, you feel all right?" McCoy asked with concern. "I mean, are you supposed to do that?"
"I think…I am experiencing…a minor…mechanical…malfunction," Data said jerkily. "Nothing serious…if repaired…quickly." On that note, something in Data made a loud static noise. His eyes went blank, and he slipped off the chair.
McCoy stood up and hurried around the table, to bend over Data. He found himself confronted with a comatose android. "Uh, Data? Data? Nothing serious if repaired quickly, huh? Well if you're looking to me to fix it you're gonna have a long wait. I'm a doctor, not an mechanic! Come to think of it, might be a ninety-year wait anyway. And why am I talking to an android who clearly isn't hearing me?"
McCoy shook his head, stood up, and stepped over to the comm unit on the wall. He called the bridge. Kirk answered.
"Jim! Do something!" McCoy snapped.
* * *
Following a more complete explanation, Kirk decided he could handle this personally. Why he thought this is uncertain, but he did. Consequently, he rushed down to the Mess Hall, and found himself confronted with a comatose android.
"Well. I'm sure I can handle this. I've dealt with plenty of androids in the past," Kirk said, studying Data.
"Right," McCoy said.
"Take Norman and his androids. I handled that quite well."
"Right."
"Or Nomad, I took care of him too, even if he wasn't quite an android."
"Right."
"And Ruk. I dealt with him."
"Right."
"Or there was—"
McCoy interrupted him. "Jim. Quit with the past glories. If you're so good at this, just get to it."
Kirk hesitated. "Um, slight problem. I've dealt with androids. But I never repaired one. I just caused them all to shut down. I can't fix him anymore than you can."
McCoy clutched his head. "Then why did you volunteer and come bounding down here?"
Kirk shrugged. "I was caught up in the moment?"
"Right."
* * *
It didn't take them long to decide it might be wise to call Spock. He came down to the Mess Hall, and found himself confronted with a comatose android. By now, a couple of ensigns had joined the group around Data. They couldn't help either, but they figured this was more interesting then their regular jobs.
Spock bent over Data, and located a panel on his back that could be removed. He studied the complex machinery inside. Everyone else studied him. If they were expecting to see a reaction from him, they were disappointed.
Spock sat back from Data. "This is indeed highly advanced machinery. I believe Mr. Scott would be better equipped to locate the problem and repair it."
McCoy groaned. "Why don't we just bring the whole crew down here!"
"If you think that would be best, Doctor," Spock said calmly.
"Oh, forget it," McCoy growled.
Kirk pointed to one of the ensigns, the one wearing the red shirt. "You! Go look for Scotty!"
The red-shirt nodded. "Yes, sir!" He hurried out of the room.
* * *
Time passed. No sign of the red-shirt, or Scotty. Kirk and McCoy were becoming increasingly apprehensive. Spock stayed calm.
"You know, he said it wasn't anything serious if repaired quickly," McCoy pointed out after several minutes. "This doesn't fit my definition of quickly."
Kirk pointed at the remaining ensign, a yellow-shirt. "You! Go look for the clown we sent to look for Scotty!"
The yellow-shirt nodded. "Yes, sir." He also hurried out of the room.
More time passed, without a sign of the red-shirt, the yellow-shirt, or Scotty.
* * *
Ensign Jones entered the Mess Hall, and found himself confronted by a comatose android, surrounded by quite a few of his superior officers. Jones walked past the confusion, and ordered a glass of water from the replicators. Then he wandered back towards the site of the disturbance.
"Um, is something wrong?" he asked.
"Wrong? Nothing's wrong! We just have an android who shut down on us, and the only people who know how to fix him won't be around for another century! And everyone we send for help vanishes!" McCoy snapped.
"Oh. Can I help?" Jones asked, starting to feel anxious.
"Yes, you can look for that joker we sent to look for the clown we sent to look for Scotty," Kirk ordered.
Jones nodded vigorously. "Yes, sir. Right away, sir." Jones rushed for the Mess Hall door. Unfortunately, the unconscious Data was between him and it. Jones tripped over Data's leg, went through a spectacular somersault, shrieked something sounding like 'Yeek' and banged his head on the floor. "Ow…" he said, dazed.
"His lack of coordination is remarkable," Spock observed.
"Looks like there might actually be something I can do," McCoy said, rummaging through his medbag.
"You, out in the corridor!" Kirk hollered to another ensign passing by. "Go look for the joker!"
The ensign looked confused, but nodded. "Yes, sir." He hurried away.
Not too much later, the yellow-shirt finally returned, with Scotty in tow. Scotty found himself confronted with a comatose android, and couldn't be more delighted. He bent over Data, and rubbed his hands in anticipation. "Och, I've been wantin' a look at this lad's insides since he came aboard!" Scotty pulled out a few tools, and got to work.
Kirk pulled the yellow-shirted ensign aside. "What ever happened to the first ensign we sent out?"
The yellow-shirt shrugged. "Oh well, he's kinda new to the Enterprise, and pretty nervous. When you sent him out he went straight for the turbolift. Trouble was, once he got inside he was so excited he couldn't remember how to operate it. So then he tried to leave, but couldn't remember how to get the door to open. He was pretty upset by then, so he panicked and banged his head against the wall. Knocked himself clean unconscious."
Kirk nodded. "Yeah, I can see how that could happen."
"Yes, sir."
Meanwhile, McCoy was helping the still muddled Jones to his feet.
"Now, how do you feel, Ensign?" McCoy asked.
"All right, I guess," Jones said, rubbing his head. "Can I have something to drink?"
"Sure. Want some coffee?"
"Okay, thanks."
McCoy got a cup of 'coffee, hot' from the replicators and handed it to Jones, who took a large swallow. Jones started and clutched at his throat.
"Hot! Ouch, that's hot!"
McCoy quickly ordered a glass of 'water, with ice' and handed that to Jones, who gulped down a huge amount. He was silent for a moment, then put a hand to his forehead.
"Brain freeze! Oww, brain freeze!"
Jones took another hasty swallow of coffee, only to burn his tongue again, which naturally caused him to swallow more water, bringing about further brain freeze. He was just about to drink more coffee when McCoy grabbed both cups. After a moment's thought, McCoy poured some water into the coffee, and handed that back to Jones, who swallowed half of it in one mouthful. Jones stood quietly for a moment, as McCoy watched him anxiously.
Jones frowned. "Tastes awful. Okay temperature though."
McCoy sighed. "Lad, you're the only person I know who can get into trouble with coffee and water."
Further discussion was ended by an exclamation from Scotty. "By Ninian, I've got it!"
[A/N: As I did actual research (took about three minutes) I want to make sure you understand the reference to Ninian. St. Ninian was the first Scottish saint, according to a couple different websites.]
Everyone hurried to cluster around him. "Should we take that to mean you found the problem, Mr. Scott?" Spock asked calmly.
"Of course, of course," Scotty said enthusiastically. "Jus' a little short circuit in one of these panels. No trouble a'tall to replace a couple of wee wires and everythin's up and runnin' agin. If'n it was left alone it could cause problems with…well, I can't rightly say what it is, but I think it would knock out his whole system."
"Then you fixed him?" Kirk pressed.
"I believe so," Data spoke up. "My internal diagnostics register full repairs."
Scotty carefully refitted the panel on Data's back, and Data sat up.
"Excellent work, Mr. Scott," Data said.
Scotty shrugged. "Ah, well, it was just a wee trouble…"
"Still most excellent."
"Well, thank ye, Mr. Data."
An ensign poked his head in the door. "Uh, Captain Kirk?"
"Yes?" Kirk said.
"Well, you told me to find the 'joker.' Is this what you meant?' he asked, holding up a large printout of a medieval court jester.
Everyone in the room, excluding Spock, Data and the ensign, broke into laughter.
"Um…I could try again…" the ensign said uncertainly.
Next chapter: Data finally gets back to the Enterprise-D. Probably posted tomorrow.
Please review!