Hooray, I got this posted!
Disclaimer: Don't own Star Trek, etc. etc. etc… I have permission to use other stories though!
Elf/Vampire/Vulcan/Jedi/Saiyan: Running joke with your friends? Cool! My friends and I are quite fond of "Let the Katra flow…" About the speech…well, check out the end of Mask of Stella. Beyond that I haven't figured out yet. (What does LMAO mean?)
EmpressLeia: Me? Arrogant? Certainly not! Demanding about people posting, much too fond of flattering reviews…but arrogant? Never! Kidding, only kidding…but I'm not arrogant…I think.
Other reviewers: Just keep reviewing! I love 'em!
A/N: In this chapter, our dear characters get on Fanfiction and start reading. Brief piece on stories they look at:
"The Enterprise Goes to Medora" by EmpressLeia. Very strange and very funny. And they DO get chased by mad deer…
"Home For Christmas" by Charmega. Very sad little fic about Kirk's death from McCoy's point of view.
"A Stitch in Time" by Ensign Expendable. Sorta hard to summarize since I still can't predict what'll happen…quite funny in spots, quite grim in others. And Kirk and Spock apparently get killed in a nuclear explosion.
"The Europa Incident" by Elf/Vampire/Vulcan/Jedi/Saiyan. Also a complicated story. T'Kaia is a Vulcan who turns up on the Enterprise with her pet cat. They're trying to deal with an apparently evil captain named Ghol who's actually being controlled by a Creature.
"Mask of Stella" by me. Can't summarize as there is no plot. It's strange.
"How Would They React…?" by me. Well, duh.
If you haven't read them I highly recommend! (and read "Forgiven" by Keridwen while you're at it, even though the cliffhanger's killing me) And I'm sure they'd all want me to tell you to review. : ) No idea why you should listen to me of course… ^_^
Just in case this gets a little confusing, the idea is only the events from the actual show and in this story have happened. Or at least, only those have happened to this Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, as opposed to the Kirk, Spock, and McCoy in other stories, but these particular ones…I need to stop, I'm only confusing myself.
Finally, the story (thanks to Elf/Vampire/Vulcan/Jedi/Saiyan for the suggestion!):
Part Eleven:
Fanfiction.net
Still en route to the planet they intend to study, various crewmembers are finding rather…unique ways to pass the time:
McCoy was sitting at one of the library consoles on the bridge, reading something on the screen. After a moment he turned towards the rest of the bridge.
"Hey Spock, Jim, you've got to come see this! I've been surfing the net and I found a fascinating website!" McCoy blinked. "Uhhh…I mean, interesting."
Spock was standing by Kirk's command chair, where Kirk was sitting. They broke off their conversation and came over to join McCoy. Spock seemed somewhat puzzled.
"Doctor, am I correct in thinking you stated that you were 'surfing the net?'"
"Yeah, that's right," McCoy said casually.
"Surfing is, by nature, a physical sport involving water. How can it be performed while at a computer console? Also, I do not see evidence of any nets."
McCoy shook his head. "Spock, Spock, Spock," he said in mock despair.
"Doctor, Doctor, Doctor," Spock deadpanned.
McCoy blinked, and decided it would be simplest to just explain. "It's an archaic Earth term. It means going from site to site on the internet."
"Why do you not simply say that to begin with, and prevent confusion?"
"Because humans are wacko, Spock," McCoy said sarcastically. "Completely devoid of logic! Utterly irrational! Totally insane!"
"I have long suspected as much," Spock said calmly.
McCoy groaned. Kirk judged this would be good time to step in, before things got totally out of hand.
"Anyway, you said you were going to show us something, Bones?"
"Oh, right. See, I found this website called 'Fanfiction.net.' And get this: people write stories on it about us."
"About us?" Kirk said.
"Well, there are some stories about other people," McCoy said dismissively. "The best stories are about us though."
"I think I'd like to see some of those," Kirk said with interest. Even Spock seemed intrigued by the idea.
McCoy clicked and brought up a page of story titles. Kirk pointed to one near the top. "What's that one about?" he asked.
"'The Enterprise Goes to Medora,'" McCoy read. "I don't know, let's read it."
They clicked into the story and started reading. Kirk was immediately pleased.
"I'm making a log entry! I like that. And for some reason it reminds me of risks. And risks are our business! When man first looked at the stars—"
At the helm, Sulu got a strange look in his eye. He pulled a sword out from under his chair, leaped to the upper ramp, let out a yell, and brought the sword down on one of the consoles with a crash.
"Sulu! What are you doing?!" Kirk exclaimed.
"I'm not exactly sure," Sulu said uncertainly.
"Have you gone mad?!"
"I don't know…"
"Well, go down to Sickbay, find Dr. McCoy, and have him give you a neural scan," Kirk ordered.
McCoy tapped Kirk on the shoulder. "Uh, Jim…"
Kirk looked at McCoy. "Oh. Right. I knew that. Mr. Sulu, go down to Sickbay and give yourself a neural scan."
Sulu frowned. "I don't know how."
"Oh. Could you fake it?"
Sulu shrugged. "I guess so."
"Fine. Go down to Sickbay and pretend to give yourself a neural scan. We'll continue reading."
Sulu exited, and Kirk Spock and McCoy read further into 'The Enterprise goes to Medora.' They finished chapter one and moved to the second chapter. By now, Kirk and McCoy were just about out of breath from laughing. Spock remained impassive.
"Oh my! Ohh my! Can't…breath," McCoy gasped through laughter. "We're being chased…by mad deer!"
"Mad deer! F-funny!" Kirk said, trying to regain control. "Not like that could actually happen though…"
There was a thundering noise from Stage Left. Ensign Jones came dashing onto the bridge. "Mad deer! Mad deer!" Jones shrieked, and fled frantically off Stage Right. A galloping deer chased after him.
Kirk, Spock, and McCoy looked at each other. With one accord they turned back to the computer screen.
"Let's read another one," McCoy suggested.
"It could be interesting," Spock commented.
McCoy clicked on another story title. "Let's see what this one is about." The one in question was titled "Home For Christmas."
* * *
They read to the end of "Home For Christmas."
McCoy sniffed. "That's…that's so sad," he said, rather choked up.
"You're telling me!" Kirk sobbed, wiping at his eyes with the cuff of his sleeve. "That's the saddest thing…"
If Spock was moved by the story, he very carefully hid it. His only comment was a slightly surprised "This story depicts me crying."
"You mean you wouldn't be upset if I died? Why, Spock…" Kirk broke into a fresh wave of sobs.
Spock wisely decided that there was only one option that would preserve both dignity and friendship. He said nothing.
McCoy patted Kirk on the shoulder. "It's okay, Jim. You've got to pull yourself together."
"It's just so moving…"
"I know. It's not every day a person reads about his own funeral. Just remember, this is fiction. Not the real world."
"Right…I'll keep that in mind," Kirk said, beginning to regain control.
McCoy eyed the computer screen. "I'm not sure we should read anymore…"
"Well…it may be risky," Kirk said, just about back to normal, "but risks are our business. When man first looked at the stars—"
"What say we read this one?" McCoy said hastily, clicking at random. He landed on a story called "A Stitch in Time." Under the circumstances, it wasn't the best story to pick. It was an excellent story, but if he was trying to cheer Kirk up…
* * *
They read up to the end of chapter three. The first two chapters were funny in spots, even though in chapter two they beam into a war zone. Then they continued to chapter three, and things got more serious.
"I got killed. And Spock got killed," Kirk said mechanically. "That's so saaaad!"
"That is…pretty sad," McCoy said, just a bit choked up. "And there's no sign of chapter four…"
"It is indeed a tragic loss of life," Spock said.
"I know! We get killed!" Kirk wailed.
"Actually, I was referring to the countless loss of native life on the northern continent."
"Who cares about the natives?! We got killed! Again!" Kirk started sobbing. Again.
"Jim, you've got to stop doing this," McCoy said patiently.
"But I keep dying! I don't think these people like me! They keep killing me! And it's saaaad!"
McCoy sighed. "Yes, Jim. What say we look at the reviews?"
"I guess…"
McCoy brought up the review page. "Well, lots of reviews from someone named Tavia."
"What's this about a bridge? I get killed under a bridge?" Kirk said, reading. "Oh NO! What a way to go!"
"Jim, calm yourself!" McCoy snapped. "Get a grip or we stop reading!"
"All right, all right. I'm okay. I'm calm. I'm fine," Kirk jabbered.
"Sure," McCoy said. "Let's read 'The Europa Incident.' Used to be called 'Of Lost Ships and Old Friends.' Sounds philosophical."
* * *
It wasn't philosophical. It was good though. McCoy was still chuckling, Kirk was ranting, and Spock was 'not amused.'
"A cat! T'Kaia has a cat! Named…Spock! Oh, goodness…" McCoy went off on another stretch of laughter.
"I do not see why you find this so amusing," Spock said with dignity. "A cat named Spock is not amusing."
"But it is, Spock, it is!" McCoy protested. "And now you don't have to feel badly that I didn't name my cat Spock."
Spock started. "I do not feel…you are deliberately baiting me, Doctor."
"Yeah, I guess so." McCoy shook his head. "A cat named Spock…she must feel sorta silly when she calls him home for dinner…" He started chuckling again.
Kirk, as previously stated, was ranting. He did find the fact of a cat named Spock rather funny, but he was also disturbed by the rest of the following chapters. "Why isn't anyone doing something about this Creature? Now, if it was me—"
"It is you, Jim," McCoy pointed out.
"Well, yeah, but it's not…well it is…but it's…" He glared at McCoy. "Don't confuse me!"
McCoy shrugged. "Sorry."
"Anyway, there's got to be something he—I—whatever, can do about the Creature. Even if it's risky. Because risks are our business! When man first looked at the stars—"
"Perhaps we should read another story," Spock suggested.
"Want to try this one? It's called 'The Mask of Stella,'" McCoy said.
"Can't hurt," Kirk said.
* * *
"I take it back. It hurt," Kirk said bleakly.
"No, it was a swell idea! This is hilarious!" McCoy said, laughing uproariously. [A/N: The author does NOT have an ego.]
They were reading "The Mask of Stella."
"This story depicts me fleeing Stella!" Kirk complained.
"I know!" McCoy chortled.
"This isn't funny!"
"Yes, it is!"
"Aren't you at all bothered that you're running around bald?" Kirk asked, annoyed.
"Oh, a little. But I'm about the only person who doesn't go totally crazy. And I get to help save the ship. So it evens out. And the scenes with you are so funny! And everyone else gets drunk. Even Spock!"
"Chicken noodle soup is not known to intoxicate Vulcans," Spock said with dignity.
"If I thought it did I'd be in the Mess Hall right now!"
"Stella! Bah," Kirk muttered. "Like I'd run from some woman…"
"Let's find something else by this author," McCoy suggested.
"Must we?" Kirk asked.
"Yes, we must."
They eventually located a story at the top of Page 1 titled "How Would They React…?" They clicked into it, and were almost immediately puzzled.
"Didn't we have a Klingon on board a couple weeks ago?" McCoy said, frowning at the first chapter.
"Yeah, he's still in the brig," Kirk said.
"Coincidence, I guess."
They continued reading.
"Okay, it can't be a coincidence that it depicts us getting lost on Mycelia V," McCoy said, looking at chapter two.
"It could be, but the odds are astronomical," Spock commented.
"This is sort of weird. Should we keep reading?" Kirk asked.
"Yes, we should," McCoy said firmly. "The curiosity would kill me if we don't."
* * *
They finally read up to chapter eleven, and found details on the events of the last half hour.
"'And so they read through chapter eleven,'" McCoy read out loud, "'eventually catching up to the moment they were at. And it was at that point that our dear author looked back on the chapter and realized there could be no snappy ending. To have an ending one must have a plot, and there was certainly no plot. Simply a series of scenes as the characters read story after story. And, of course, reacted. She finally concluded the best thing to do would be to just stop typing. So she did.'"
Hope you liked!
Dreadful, dreadful news. Well, I think it's dreadful. Point is, I'm going on vacation tomorrow (that's not the dreadful part). And no computer access. (That's the dreadful part.) That means, of course, no new chapters for a week. (I'm sure you'll all survive somehow…) A week isn't that long, I know, but I've been posting every couple days, so I figured I'd explain ahead of time rather than apologize afterwards.
So, I'll miss you guys. While I'm gone, here's something to think about: Spock and McCoy. In a stalled turbolift. Together. With Ensign Jones.
See ya in a week! ^_^
And review, of course! If you don't review I'll…I'll…I'll send Ensign Jones after you! No, wait, that would be more hazardous for him than you…review anyway!