Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, you don't own Star Trek, it is very possible Rick Berman doesn't own Star Trek…Paramount! Paramount owns Star Trek! Everyone clear on this point?
Trekker-T: Zinc-oxided nose…okay, even I didn't picture that. Funny!
EmpressLeia (and Nat): Turkeys! It is all coming clear! And as far as I know, nobody can picture Spock in the waves without laughing…which is why it is so hugely amusing!
Keridwen: That's okay, use the numbers, I probably stole it off of someone else and just don't remember…kicked out of the computer lab? Either you laugh loudly or you have crabby administrators. ^_^ Obviously not Trekkies.
Starseeker: Breathing would be wise…glad I amuse you so.
Well here it is. "Intruder Alert." A radical departure from the norm. In more ways than one. Features plenty of our dear boys in red. Heehee…
Chapter Twenty:
Intruder Alert
An hour or so following the close of our last chapter:
The Enterprise was currently being run by half the crew. The other half was on the surface. No one knew who was in command. Most of engineering was gone. The bridge was being manned by junior officers. So far, no one had noticed that shields were down.
No one on the ship, that is.
On the surface however, at least one person had managed to record this lapse in security. And was taking advantage.
In a small dark room aboard the Enterprise, one few people went to or knew about yet had some computer consoles in it, an orange pillar of light appeared. It slowly coalesced into a person, a person beaming in, completely without authorization. He looked around for a moment, getting his bearings, then stepped silently over to the consoles. Pulling up a chair, he began working the controls.
It wasn't long before he encountered troubles with the computer's security systems, and was asked to provide authorization. He paused, thinking. Then keyed a single command.
The silence was shattered by a siren, the darkness by flashing red lights. "Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" the intercom shouted.
"Something tells me," the intruder said, "that I pressed the wrong button."
* * *
In a different and better-lighted section of the ship, Jones and Simmons were walking down a corridor.
"Now that's what I call a shore leave," Jones said sarcastically. "Really relaxing!"
"Oh what are you complaining about?" Simmons said irritably.
Jones stopped short. "What am I complaining about? What am I complaining about?! I got chased by a shark!"
"It was a foot long!"
"It was still a shark!"
"Big deal. I got attacked by minnows!"
"Oh gee. Minnows. Scaaaary!"
"I'll have you know—"
They were interrupted by red alert sirens. Klaxons clanged. Red lights flashed. Jones and Simmons looked at each other.
A voice came over the intercom. A rather young voice who didn't seem to know what he was doing. "Um…we seem to have an intruder alert…repeat, intruder alert…I guess security contingents, um, 4 through 6 to…conference room 3…yeah, conference room 3." Clearly, whoever usually made announcements was on shore leave.
"That's us, isn't it?" Jones said nervously.
"Yeah."
"Great. As if the day wasn't already going wonderfully!"
"We better go."
Jones and Simmons ran down the corridor, headed towards Conference Room 3.
* * *
Thirty or so security guards milled about the conference room. No one was quite sure who should be in charge, as the highest-ranking officers seemed to be (can you guess?) on shore leave. They finally wound up with a fellow named Smith directing things, primarily because he had been on the bridge when the alert came through, and had at least a vague idea of what was going on.
"Now, it's like this," Smith began. "Someone beamed into a room on Deck Seven, accessed a computer, and set off a security alert. The computers have automatically closed off the area, so all we have to do is go in there and get whoever it is. Do I have any volunteers?"
There was a murmur. No one seemed to like the idea of going in after the intruder.
"Come on!" Smith said. "Somebody's got to do it! What would the Captain do?" A hand shot up out of the crowd. Smith seemed surprised. "Ensign Jones? Are you volunteering?"
"Yes, sir! I am volunteering to go get the Captain!"
Another hand shot up. "I volunteer to go with him!" Simmons seconded.
Smith shook his head. "No, we talked to the Captain before the alert went out, and we mustn't disturb him. He's dealing with trouble on the planet."
"What sort of trouble?" someone asked.
Smith frowned. "Well, it was an open comm, so Captain Kirk used code. He said he had 'blonde trouble.' We're not sure yet quite what that means. May have something to do with the governing structure in the local area, as he also mentioned that Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock were 'building a sand castle.' Code, obviously."
There was a murmur. Obviously code. Something of the greatest significance of course. Couldn't disturb the captain. That didn't settle what they were going to do though.
Smith decided that. "I think we really only need three people to deal with this. And since you were so eager to get the captain, Simmons, Jones, surely you won't mind accompanying me to get the intruder. Everyone else can return to their posts."
The other guards scattered, eager to get out before anyone changed their minds regarding who should go. Jones and Simmons walked reluctantly over to Smith.
"You know, I don't know if I'm a good choice…" Jones said. "I'm not good at, uh, stuff like this."
Smith stared at him. "You're a security guard, man!"
"Well, yeah, but…"
"No buts! We must catch the intruder!" Smith said enthusiastically. "It is our duty!"
Simmons sighed philosophically. "Well…we all have to go sometime."
Picking up phasers at the door, the three set out to catch the intruder. Whoever he was.
* * *
Meanwhile on the beach…
Kirk did indeed have blonde trouble. Primarily, he couldn't tell them apart. The blondes, I mean.
"Now let me see," he said to the blonde on his right, "you're Melissa."
She giggled. "No, no, no! She's Melissa." She pointed to her twin, sitting on Kirk's left.
"And she's Clarissa," added Melissa.
Kirk looked from one to the other, and shook his head. "It's no use. I still can't tell you two girls apart." He smiled winningly. "You're just equally beautiful."
The girls giggled appreciatively. "Oh Captain, you say the sweetest things!" said Clarissa. Or was it Melissa?
"You know what?" Kirk decided, "you'll just have to stick around for awhile until I've learned to figure out which is which. Nothing like an educational shore leave!"
Not too far off, Spock and McCoy had their own problems. They were deep in an architectural debate.
"I still think we should put an archway here," McCoy said.
Spock sighed faintly. "I told you, Doctor. It would not be structurally sound."
"I happen to recall that arches are a very strong structure," McCoy countered.
"Not when one is building in sand."
Despite the fact that they had managed to debate over pretty much every detail, the jointly built sand castle was coming along nicely. They were currently deciding whether or not to put an archway between the two towers on the eastern side of the castle.
"Spock, have you no sense of the artistic?" McCoy asked. "All we'd have to do is poke out a little space here and…uh-oh."
He had been putting actions to words, and beginning the arch. A fairly sizable portion of the wall collapsed.
"I am aware that a crumbled wall is not especially artistic," Spock said blandly.
McCoy scowled. "You didn't say it would collapse."
"And precisely what did you think 'not structurally sound' meant, Doctor?"
But enough frivolity. Back to the intruder alert.
Smith, Jones, and Simmons were on deck seven, just outside the network of corridors and rooms that the computer had blocked off. Actually, they were stopped just outside the section. Disagreeing.
"I still think there's got to be a better way to do this," Jones argued.
"And I think we can handle this," Simmons countered. "There's three of us and only one of them. We can take 'em easy!"
Simmons was doubtful. "It seems like an awfully risky way to go about it."
"Risky? Risky?!" Simmons eyebrows shot upwards. "Haven't you ever heard the Captain? Risks are our business! When man first looked at the stars—"
"I don't know about the Captain's business," Jones interrupted, "but right now caution looks like an excellent business proposition."
"Good grief! What are we, men or mice?! We're security guards!" Smith exploded. "So let's secure!" With that, he keyed a code and opened the door into the next corridor, which was, of course, within the security lock-down section. Without looking back, Smith strode down the hall.
Jones and Simmons looked at each other.
"We should go with him," Simmons sighed.
Jones grimaced. "Oh all right."
They jogged after Smith, and the three walked through the corridors, towards the room where the computer's sensors located the intruder. Whoever he was. It wasn't a long way, and they were soon standing before the critical door.
"All right, all at once," Smith said with determination. "We'll open the door, and rush him together."
Jones and Simmons nodded grimly.
"'And into the valley of death, rode the six hundred,'" Jones quoted bleakly.
"Now cut that out!" Smith snapped. "So here we go, on three. One…two…three!"
[smiles sweetly] Next chapter up…soon.