Disclaimer: I own nothing
Xander looked around the strip club, doing a quick mental search down his checklist. Naked guys. Check and shudder. Hordes of women screaming and drooling and being very scary. Check and shudder. Claire by the bar. Check, no shudder.
All was right, then.
A female walked through the door, not showing a bit of concern. The girl trying to follow her suddenly reared back from the door, her face twisting in pain, and Xander got that feeling again.
His gut twisted with fear, and he advanced on the door. I can do this, he told himself.
"Do we have a problem?" He asked.
"No problem." Said the girl, stepping back from the door and looking around in surprise.
"Crosses." Said Xander helpfully, putting a hand on the curtains hanging beside the open door. "They keep crosses beside the doors."
"Sickos!" She hissed.
Xander pulled the stake out from under his shirt and lunged, slamming into her chest. She gave a yelp, surprised, and looked down.
It was in, but not far enough. His heart fell. Buffy made that look so easy, with her Slayer strength! But then, with her strength, pounding a not-too-sharp peg into somebody's breastbone WAS easy, wasn't it?
"What—" Before she could get made, and just as she started to vamp out, he threw himself at her, lunging, hoping to drive the stake in. With unnatural speed she dodged, letting him fall to the ground.
And then she ran off, as he landed on the ground with bruising force, shaken enough by his attempt to stake her that she didn't even try for him.
He was left coughing and wiping dust out of his eyes, checking around to make sure that he hadn't been caught.
Oh, good. Nobody.
He staggered to his feet and went back into the club. He went straight to the bar, signaling Claire, and she poured him a soda.
"Vampire?" She mouthed silently at him, and he nodded, sipping soda into his mouth and swirling it around, getting the taste of the dirt of the street outside out of his mouth.
"Just doesn't get any better than this." He said. He glanced around at the girls at the bar. "You know, I think they've stopped hitting on me."
Claire grinned. "Well, they mostly think you're gay."
Xander coughed. "Gay?" He shuddered, glancing away from the stage. "Oh, my heart."
"Yeah." She said. "But you're a guy in a place where guys get naked."
He shrugged. "Whatever helps them rationalize. I'll be in the kitchen."
He pushed through the throng of women, wondering if perhaps he should get gone. Claire could stay safe, now, with what she knew. And the place was VERY vampire un-friendly.
He could just go. Get on, see the world.
Inertia. It was one of Willow's big fancy words. Stuff that was moving, stayed moving, till somebody stopped it. Stuff that didn't move...
And his heart was still pounding a mile a minute. He'd just faced a vampire, all by himself. No friends for backup, no Buffy.
Hrmph.
"Hey, Kam!" He said, greeting the Chinese guy huddled over his stove. The Chinese guy glared at him.
When guys went to see a stripper, they drank. When girls went, they ate. And they expected good food. This surprised Xander to no end. Who could eat while watching a show that was supposed to turn them on?
But, whatever. Not his issue.
He turned to the dishes, where Lee, a somewhat nerdy-looking young girl with blonde hair, was washing them. "You keeping up?" He asked Lee, knowing what a task that was.
"Yeah, just fine." She said, in a tone of voice that let him know what she thought of getting stuck washing dishes.
He grinned. He couldn't help it, her tone of voice was like something Cordelia would have shot off. And it brought back memories of Cordelia, with the same attitude. The same 'this is beneath me' look in her eyes as she did whatever she was doing.
"Keep it up, then." He said. He glanced at the new automatic dishwasher. "What's wrong with it now?"
"Dunno." She said. "It nearly exploded."
He sighed. That meant he'd have to waste all day tomorrow trying to fix it. That would be quite the chore. "I'll have it fixed by tomorrow night." He promised.
And so here he was, overstaying his welcome. Anybody could do what he did, and probably better. Somebody else would probably have staked the vampire. And for less money. Claire was probably just keeping him around because he'd saved her life.
He was the Zeppo, again.
He left Lee in the kitchen and headed back into the club. There he could see a naked dancer with bits of red cloth hanging off him doing something, and he quickly averted his eyes.
"Hey." Said a voice, and he turned to see Jenny, who he had learned was more or less a regular. She brushed her curly brown hair out of her eyes. "What'cha drinking?"
"Coke." He replied, lifting the glass. "I'm on the job."
She nodded seriously. "Cool." She said. She glanced at the stage. "It takes a special kind of man to work in a girly club like this." She said.
His face flushed. "Ah, sure." He said, not bothering to deny it. If he had to argue about his sexuality, was it really worth it? Just saying 'I am not gay' was like screaming 'I am so gay!' So he'd be like Angel, just be stoic and manly.
Manly. Right.
Jenny giggled, sipping her drink. "Almost closing time. You the one throws the girls out?"
He groaned inwardly. Why did she always come here and get drunk? "No, Claire does that." He said.
She nodded. "How naughty do I have to be before you throw me out?" She asked, trying for mischievous, ending up with drunk.
"A lot more than you can handle." He said, steering her towards the bar. "You wanna talk about it?"
She pouted. "Oh, yeah, you play bartender."
Xander stepped behind the bar with Claire. "Sure, okay. Here's my bartender face." He assumed a sympathetic air, knowing she would laugh. She did.
At least that was one skill that would never leave. He knew people didn't laugh with him, they laughed at him. And it had hurt for a while. But he was good at the clowning. Good at making people forget their troubles for a bare fraction of a second.
"Okay." She said. "Maybe I just like getting drunk while watching men's butts."
Xander absorbed that. "Maybe you're running from something." He observed. She scowled.
"What's there to run from?" She asked. "Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Empty house, empty life." She downed another long gulp of her drink.
Xander sighed. "You're just making it worse, you know." He said. "You're taking the empty life and throwing it away, when you could just fill it up. Fill it up to the brim. You think about that, a minute."
"Fill it up?" She asked curiously. "You're taking the metaphor a bit far."
He shook his head. "I'm cutting you off." He said.
Claire touched his arm. "You're no good at the joking, Xander, so cut it out." She said, passing Jenny a bottle. Xander's mouth dropped open, but then he shut it, glowering at Claire.
"We'll talk about this later." Said Claire, her face hard.
He nodded. "That we surely will."
**
After the club was closed, and everybody except Lee (still catching up) was gone, Xander finally was able to corner Claire. He found her in the front room, with Jenny passed out on the floor beside her.
"What is this, with Jenny?" He asked. "You always let her drink way more than she should! Is money more important to you than your customers well- being?"
"Her husband and son were killed in an accident a couple months back." Replied Claire harshly. "What do you want me to do, send her back to an empty house with enough clarity of mind to remember that other people used to live there? Don't judge the ways other people use to forget."
Xander frowned, but at that point they were interrupted by Lee, making her escape. "I finished the dishes." She reported. "And--wow!"
Xander didn't turn. He knew what was behind him. "Bobby, go get some clothes on." He said with a sigh.
Claire chuckled. "See, I told you you'd get used to naked guys." He glared back at her.
Lee's mouth was moving, but no sound came out. Xander moved, blocking her view of Bobby. "Bobby, I mean it!" He said.
Bobby fell on the floor beside him, lying still. There was blood on this throat.
Xander knew who it was without turning. The stake that was stuck in Bobby's back gave it away.
"You hurt me." Hissed the female vampire he'd stabbed before.
"Aa!" He said, jumping forward, his nerves shot. Vampires behind him always did that to him.
He whirled, facing her. She was grinning, in game face. "Naughty." She whispered, licking her lips.
Claire reached behind the bar and came up with a crossbow, firing. As the vampire exploded to dust she glanced to Lee, who was trembling. "Watch her!" Said Claire, moving to Bobby. "Oh, crap." She said, emotional. "Not another one!"
Xander trembled. How many were dead now, because of him? Well, add one more to the list. Bobby. Stripper.
Lee turned to him, grabbing him with strength he hadn't realized she had, clutching him, trying to hide her eyes.
Xander sighed, putting one hand around her shoulders, watching Claire drag Bobby outside.
Xander looked around the strip club, doing a quick mental search down his checklist. Naked guys. Check and shudder. Hordes of women screaming and drooling and being very scary. Check and shudder. Claire by the bar. Check, no shudder.
All was right, then.
A female walked through the door, not showing a bit of concern. The girl trying to follow her suddenly reared back from the door, her face twisting in pain, and Xander got that feeling again.
His gut twisted with fear, and he advanced on the door. I can do this, he told himself.
"Do we have a problem?" He asked.
"No problem." Said the girl, stepping back from the door and looking around in surprise.
"Crosses." Said Xander helpfully, putting a hand on the curtains hanging beside the open door. "They keep crosses beside the doors."
"Sickos!" She hissed.
Xander pulled the stake out from under his shirt and lunged, slamming into her chest. She gave a yelp, surprised, and looked down.
It was in, but not far enough. His heart fell. Buffy made that look so easy, with her Slayer strength! But then, with her strength, pounding a not-too-sharp peg into somebody's breastbone WAS easy, wasn't it?
"What—" Before she could get made, and just as she started to vamp out, he threw himself at her, lunging, hoping to drive the stake in. With unnatural speed she dodged, letting him fall to the ground.
And then she ran off, as he landed on the ground with bruising force, shaken enough by his attempt to stake her that she didn't even try for him.
He was left coughing and wiping dust out of his eyes, checking around to make sure that he hadn't been caught.
Oh, good. Nobody.
He staggered to his feet and went back into the club. He went straight to the bar, signaling Claire, and she poured him a soda.
"Vampire?" She mouthed silently at him, and he nodded, sipping soda into his mouth and swirling it around, getting the taste of the dirt of the street outside out of his mouth.
"Just doesn't get any better than this." He said. He glanced around at the girls at the bar. "You know, I think they've stopped hitting on me."
Claire grinned. "Well, they mostly think you're gay."
Xander coughed. "Gay?" He shuddered, glancing away from the stage. "Oh, my heart."
"Yeah." She said. "But you're a guy in a place where guys get naked."
He shrugged. "Whatever helps them rationalize. I'll be in the kitchen."
He pushed through the throng of women, wondering if perhaps he should get gone. Claire could stay safe, now, with what she knew. And the place was VERY vampire un-friendly.
He could just go. Get on, see the world.
Inertia. It was one of Willow's big fancy words. Stuff that was moving, stayed moving, till somebody stopped it. Stuff that didn't move...
And his heart was still pounding a mile a minute. He'd just faced a vampire, all by himself. No friends for backup, no Buffy.
Hrmph.
"Hey, Kam!" He said, greeting the Chinese guy huddled over his stove. The Chinese guy glared at him.
When guys went to see a stripper, they drank. When girls went, they ate. And they expected good food. This surprised Xander to no end. Who could eat while watching a show that was supposed to turn them on?
But, whatever. Not his issue.
He turned to the dishes, where Lee, a somewhat nerdy-looking young girl with blonde hair, was washing them. "You keeping up?" He asked Lee, knowing what a task that was.
"Yeah, just fine." She said, in a tone of voice that let him know what she thought of getting stuck washing dishes.
He grinned. He couldn't help it, her tone of voice was like something Cordelia would have shot off. And it brought back memories of Cordelia, with the same attitude. The same 'this is beneath me' look in her eyes as she did whatever she was doing.
"Keep it up, then." He said. He glanced at the new automatic dishwasher. "What's wrong with it now?"
"Dunno." She said. "It nearly exploded."
He sighed. That meant he'd have to waste all day tomorrow trying to fix it. That would be quite the chore. "I'll have it fixed by tomorrow night." He promised.
And so here he was, overstaying his welcome. Anybody could do what he did, and probably better. Somebody else would probably have staked the vampire. And for less money. Claire was probably just keeping him around because he'd saved her life.
He was the Zeppo, again.
He left Lee in the kitchen and headed back into the club. There he could see a naked dancer with bits of red cloth hanging off him doing something, and he quickly averted his eyes.
"Hey." Said a voice, and he turned to see Jenny, who he had learned was more or less a regular. She brushed her curly brown hair out of her eyes. "What'cha drinking?"
"Coke." He replied, lifting the glass. "I'm on the job."
She nodded seriously. "Cool." She said. She glanced at the stage. "It takes a special kind of man to work in a girly club like this." She said.
His face flushed. "Ah, sure." He said, not bothering to deny it. If he had to argue about his sexuality, was it really worth it? Just saying 'I am not gay' was like screaming 'I am so gay!' So he'd be like Angel, just be stoic and manly.
Manly. Right.
Jenny giggled, sipping her drink. "Almost closing time. You the one throws the girls out?"
He groaned inwardly. Why did she always come here and get drunk? "No, Claire does that." He said.
She nodded. "How naughty do I have to be before you throw me out?" She asked, trying for mischievous, ending up with drunk.
"A lot more than you can handle." He said, steering her towards the bar. "You wanna talk about it?"
She pouted. "Oh, yeah, you play bartender."
Xander stepped behind the bar with Claire. "Sure, okay. Here's my bartender face." He assumed a sympathetic air, knowing she would laugh. She did.
At least that was one skill that would never leave. He knew people didn't laugh with him, they laughed at him. And it had hurt for a while. But he was good at the clowning. Good at making people forget their troubles for a bare fraction of a second.
"Okay." She said. "Maybe I just like getting drunk while watching men's butts."
Xander absorbed that. "Maybe you're running from something." He observed. She scowled.
"What's there to run from?" She asked. "Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Empty house, empty life." She downed another long gulp of her drink.
Xander sighed. "You're just making it worse, you know." He said. "You're taking the empty life and throwing it away, when you could just fill it up. Fill it up to the brim. You think about that, a minute."
"Fill it up?" She asked curiously. "You're taking the metaphor a bit far."
He shook his head. "I'm cutting you off." He said.
Claire touched his arm. "You're no good at the joking, Xander, so cut it out." She said, passing Jenny a bottle. Xander's mouth dropped open, but then he shut it, glowering at Claire.
"We'll talk about this later." Said Claire, her face hard.
He nodded. "That we surely will."
**
After the club was closed, and everybody except Lee (still catching up) was gone, Xander finally was able to corner Claire. He found her in the front room, with Jenny passed out on the floor beside her.
"What is this, with Jenny?" He asked. "You always let her drink way more than she should! Is money more important to you than your customers well- being?"
"Her husband and son were killed in an accident a couple months back." Replied Claire harshly. "What do you want me to do, send her back to an empty house with enough clarity of mind to remember that other people used to live there? Don't judge the ways other people use to forget."
Xander frowned, but at that point they were interrupted by Lee, making her escape. "I finished the dishes." She reported. "And--wow!"
Xander didn't turn. He knew what was behind him. "Bobby, go get some clothes on." He said with a sigh.
Claire chuckled. "See, I told you you'd get used to naked guys." He glared back at her.
Lee's mouth was moving, but no sound came out. Xander moved, blocking her view of Bobby. "Bobby, I mean it!" He said.
Bobby fell on the floor beside him, lying still. There was blood on this throat.
Xander knew who it was without turning. The stake that was stuck in Bobby's back gave it away.
"You hurt me." Hissed the female vampire he'd stabbed before.
"Aa!" He said, jumping forward, his nerves shot. Vampires behind him always did that to him.
He whirled, facing her. She was grinning, in game face. "Naughty." She whispered, licking her lips.
Claire reached behind the bar and came up with a crossbow, firing. As the vampire exploded to dust she glanced to Lee, who was trembling. "Watch her!" Said Claire, moving to Bobby. "Oh, crap." She said, emotional. "Not another one!"
Xander trembled. How many were dead now, because of him? Well, add one more to the list. Bobby. Stripper.
Lee turned to him, grabbing him with strength he hadn't realized she had, clutching him, trying to hide her eyes.
Xander sighed, putting one hand around her shoulders, watching Claire drag Bobby outside.