Monday evening, Narcissa stood waiting outside of Dumbledore's office,
chewing on one of her perfect fingernails nervously. She had been waiting
there for almost an hour now, for Dumbledore to let her in and send her
through his fire to the Malfoy's mansion.
She turned to Remus, who was standing next to her, "You don't have to hang about, you know," she said softly, "I don't know how much longer it is going to be."
Remus kissed her hand and smiled at her, "I know," he said, "I wanted to stay with you. I love you, remember?" The smile on his face looked rather forced, as if he was trying to seem less nervous than he really was. Narcissa knew he did not want her going at all. They had argued about it more than once, yesterday.
"You look beautiful," Remus said quickly, as if trying to make her pay attention to him. It wasn't just a compliment; Narcissa looked lovely. Keeping in mind that Lucius was almost five years older than she was, she had picked out a mature-looking ice-blue sheath dress that made her eyes shine like jewels, and a slim diamond bracelet that had been a gift from her father for her sixteenth birthday. With her lovely blonde hair piled on top of her head, Narcissa was sure she could pass for eighteen. Maybe even twenty.
"Thank you," she smiled at him. She wished she didn't feel so nervous. It's just a dinner date, she thought. I'll tell him right off what I want: to break the engagement and to marry Remus. And I don't care what he says. He can't make me marry him.
Remus was digging around in his pocket. "I bought you something the other day in Hogsmeade," he said quickly. "Before we met at the Three Broomsticks. It's, well, it's nothing special." He pulled a silver- wrapped box and put it into her hand.
Narcissa unwrapped the silver foil and slowly lifted the lid. Inside the box, nestled in a bed of cotton, was a pendant. In the middle of the pendant was a perfect star sapphire.
"Oh, Remus," she murmured, stroking the stone with her fingers, "It's beautiful."
"I thought of you when I saw it," Remus said awkwardly, "Because your eyes are kind of the same color as sapphires, and, well, sometimes, when I look into them, I feel like I can see the stars."
The speech was delivered very clumsily, but Narcissa wouldn't have been happier if it had been a Shakespearean sonnet. She turned her back and handed Remus the box, "Do it up for me?" she asked.
Remus carefully removed the pendant and draped the thin silver chain around her neck. As he fastened it, he dropped a little kiss at the base of her shoulder. Narcissa laughed softly.
"You make it prettier than it is, even," he told her shyly.
"And you make me the happiest girl in the world," she told him.
Suddenly, in front of them, the huge ornate griffin began to move slowly upward. In its place, in a beam of light from upstairs, there appeared a flight of curvy stairs, moving ever so slowly above her. It was the entrance to Dumbledore's office.
Narcissa turned to Remus. His face was composed, but his eyes were fearful and pleading, "Must you go?" he asked.
She gave him a sad little smile, "Don't look so worried. I won't be long."
As she turned to leave, Remus clutched at her hand and pulled her back. Narcissa's expression was one of surprise as she faced him. He kissed her long and full on the lips.
"Remus, what is it?" she asked, stroking his face with one hand, "One might think you thought something would happen to me."
"I had a dream last night," Remus whispered, "that you left me. And you didn't return."
Narcissa felt cold. She brushed a light brown strand of hair out of his eyes.
"I'm coming back," she said.
And Remus let go of her. She turned and stepped onto the revolving staircase, and turned to look at him as she ascended. Remus' eyes were pleading, begging, as if he was trying to make her hear something.
"Don't forget me."
* * *
Only minutes later, she was standing in the ornate marble dining room fireplace of the Malfoy's manor. She coughed, trying to brush black soot out of her shimmering hair and eyes.
"Ah, Miss Black. So you have arrived at last."
She opened her eyes.
Standing before her was Lucius Malfoy, just as she remembered him. Twenty years old, with long, sleek white-blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and gray eyes like steel. He was wearing a set of black dress robes with silver trim. The walking-stick he was leaning on was a Malfoy heirloom. Inside it, Lucius kept his wand.
He walked over to the fireplace and extended one graceful hand. She took it warily and stepped out into the glittering bright dining room. Everything was polished and shined to a sleek brightness that almost blinded her. The table was draped in a rose-colored tablecloth and decked out in silver candelabras and the Malfoy family china. Something delicious was cooking, but Narcissa couldn't tell exactly what.
"Please, sit down, my dear," Lucius said, pulling out one of the mahogany chairs, "We have much to talk about."
"We do," Narcissa hesitated, but didn't sit down. "I came here to discuss something with you, Lucius. About our wedding."
"Indeed?" Lucius smiled slightly. His eyebrows shifted slightly, but other than that, no change. This was going to be more difficult than she thought. "Yes." She twisted her fingers in her hands. "I suppose my parents have told you about my sister Andromeda."
"I might have heard a thing or two in the grapevine," Lucius replied mildly. "What does your sister have to do with us?"
"She spoke to me just before she eloped with Mr. Tonks," Narcissa replied. "And her letter made me think. Really think."
"About?"
"About, well, about the direction my life is taking," Narcissa said.
Lucius didn't say anything. He just watched her.
"There's no easy way for me to say what I have to say," Narcissa said, "So I'll just have to say it." She took a deep breath. "I can't marry you, Lucius."
Silence.
Lucius stared at her for a minute, and then said, "So you're breaking our engagement, Narcissa?"
"Yes."
He picked up a goblet on the table and poured a glass of wine. "Sit please," he said, placing the goblet back on the table.
"No, really, it's not necessary - "
"I insist," Lucius said, "There is no reason we can't talk this out like civilized people."
And Remus thought he would hurt me! Narcissa thought incredulously. She sat down in the proffered seat, taking the goblet in her hand and taking a sip. She tried not to make a face.
"Ah, I forget how young you are," Lucius said dryly. He sat down in a chair across the table from her. "So, this is why you came here tonight, I suppose. To break our engagement."
"Yes," she replied, "I didn't want to write it in a letter. I figured it would be the better thing to do, to tell you in person."
"It was the better thing to do, Narcissa," Lucius said, "Because now I must tell you that you are most certainly not going to break the engagement."
At first, she didn't understand him. Perhaps he was kidding, a cruel joke. But she looked into his eyes like gray iron and knew that he was serious.
"I'm not?" she asked warily.
"I received a very interesting letter last Tuesday," Lucius went on as if she hadn't spoken. "Someone informed me that you have been cavorting around with a lover. Is this true?"
"No," Narcissa said, too quickly.
Lucius looked at her intently, "Narcissa, darling," he said acidly, "You might at least do me the honor of the truth." He poured himself a glass of wine. "I hear that you have been carrying on with someone called Remus Lupin."
Narcissa's eyes widened. Who had told? How had they known?
"Lucius," she began.
"Now I am going to tell you what I brought you here for," Lucius said, rising to his feet and walking over to her. He braced his arms on the table and leaned in so he was almost touching her, "You are to go back to school and inform Remus Lupin that he is not to see you ever again. You will never have contact with him. You will break this little tryst of yours. And you WILL marry me. Next Saturday."
"Next Saturday?" Narcissa felt faint.
"I have already contacted your parents, and they have made the necessary preparations." Lucius smiled, "I told them how my pretty little bride was bored stiff with school, and couldn't wait to be done with the whole thing."
"What?" Narcissa asked, feeling as if she was falling into a deep pit, "I'm leaving school?"
"What use is graduating?" Lucius demanded, "As my wife you have no need for a job. You will lack nothing. You will live here with the wealth that I provide for you. There is nothing else you need in life."
"I won't do it!"
Narcissa found her voice at last. She pushed back her chair and rose to her feet. "I won't marry you, Lucius Malfoy! I'm in love with Remus. And I don't care how poor he is or how I'll have to work, I'll marry him because I love him! And there's nothing you can do about it!"
She caught a glimpse of Lucius' clenched teeth before a resounding slap drove her to the floor. Her eyes filled with tears and she stared up at him in stupefied shock. She couldn't believe that he had struck her. She touched her already-bruising cheek in terror and pain.
Lucius yanked her to her feet, until she was face-to-face with him.
"If you marry him," he spat, "I will tell the world what he is."
Narcissa's heart dropped.
"You don't know," she whispered, "You couldn't know."
"But I do know, stupid girl," Lucius seethed, "And if you leave tonight without breaking your relationship with him, I will tell the world. I will make sure that the words 'Remus Lupin' and 'werewolf' will be synonymous everywhere in England, even in the world! Nowhere he goes will be safe for him. He'll probably be killed straight off!"
"No!" Narcissa cried, covering her face with her hands in agony, "No, please!"
"There's nothing that will make me change my mind," Lucius replied stonily, "It's up to you now, Narcissa. Marry me, or I'll expose your beloved to the world."
He's evil, Narcissa thought desperately. He's mad, he's horrible, and he's wicked.
And he's going to make sure Remus is killed if I leave him.
"And another thing, darling," Lucius was saying, "If you tell this - any of this! - to anyone, I will make DOUBLY sure that Remus is killed. And you know I can do it."
"Please," Narcissa sobbed, "Please, Lucius."
"It is in your hands now, dear Narcissa," Lucius went on acidly, leading Narcissa to the fireplace and pushing her inside of it. Taking a handful of Floo powder, he smirked at her. "I trust you will make the right decision."
He hurled the powder into the fireplace, and his twisted face vanished in a blaze of green fire.
* * *
Narcissa pitched forward in Dumbledore's fire, sobbing uncontrollably. Through the haze of tears, she thought she saw Dumbledore's kindly face leaning towards her. But it was nothing but one of the old portraits on the wall. Dumbledore was at a staff meeting until late tonight, as he had told her. There was nobody there.
She ran over to the staircase and flung herself downstairs, praying that Remus wasn't there. She couldn't face his protective, loving face at that moment, couldn't tell him what she had to do. To look into those eyes and kill them before her would be hell itself. She tore down the hallway and pushed her way into the Slytherin common room. There was nobody awake this late. Everyone was in bed.
She sat down on one of the green velvet sofas and stared into the flickering flames. Thoughts and images fluttered through her mind. Remus' face. Lucius' stare. Her beating heart.
She knew what she had to do.
And the thought broke her heart.
She dropped her face into her hands and sobbed harder.
Somewhere behind her, a face in the darkness watched the pitiful scene. For a moment, he regretted what he had done. But it was too late to undo it now.
She turned to Remus, who was standing next to her, "You don't have to hang about, you know," she said softly, "I don't know how much longer it is going to be."
Remus kissed her hand and smiled at her, "I know," he said, "I wanted to stay with you. I love you, remember?" The smile on his face looked rather forced, as if he was trying to seem less nervous than he really was. Narcissa knew he did not want her going at all. They had argued about it more than once, yesterday.
"You look beautiful," Remus said quickly, as if trying to make her pay attention to him. It wasn't just a compliment; Narcissa looked lovely. Keeping in mind that Lucius was almost five years older than she was, she had picked out a mature-looking ice-blue sheath dress that made her eyes shine like jewels, and a slim diamond bracelet that had been a gift from her father for her sixteenth birthday. With her lovely blonde hair piled on top of her head, Narcissa was sure she could pass for eighteen. Maybe even twenty.
"Thank you," she smiled at him. She wished she didn't feel so nervous. It's just a dinner date, she thought. I'll tell him right off what I want: to break the engagement and to marry Remus. And I don't care what he says. He can't make me marry him.
Remus was digging around in his pocket. "I bought you something the other day in Hogsmeade," he said quickly. "Before we met at the Three Broomsticks. It's, well, it's nothing special." He pulled a silver- wrapped box and put it into her hand.
Narcissa unwrapped the silver foil and slowly lifted the lid. Inside the box, nestled in a bed of cotton, was a pendant. In the middle of the pendant was a perfect star sapphire.
"Oh, Remus," she murmured, stroking the stone with her fingers, "It's beautiful."
"I thought of you when I saw it," Remus said awkwardly, "Because your eyes are kind of the same color as sapphires, and, well, sometimes, when I look into them, I feel like I can see the stars."
The speech was delivered very clumsily, but Narcissa wouldn't have been happier if it had been a Shakespearean sonnet. She turned her back and handed Remus the box, "Do it up for me?" she asked.
Remus carefully removed the pendant and draped the thin silver chain around her neck. As he fastened it, he dropped a little kiss at the base of her shoulder. Narcissa laughed softly.
"You make it prettier than it is, even," he told her shyly.
"And you make me the happiest girl in the world," she told him.
Suddenly, in front of them, the huge ornate griffin began to move slowly upward. In its place, in a beam of light from upstairs, there appeared a flight of curvy stairs, moving ever so slowly above her. It was the entrance to Dumbledore's office.
Narcissa turned to Remus. His face was composed, but his eyes were fearful and pleading, "Must you go?" he asked.
She gave him a sad little smile, "Don't look so worried. I won't be long."
As she turned to leave, Remus clutched at her hand and pulled her back. Narcissa's expression was one of surprise as she faced him. He kissed her long and full on the lips.
"Remus, what is it?" she asked, stroking his face with one hand, "One might think you thought something would happen to me."
"I had a dream last night," Remus whispered, "that you left me. And you didn't return."
Narcissa felt cold. She brushed a light brown strand of hair out of his eyes.
"I'm coming back," she said.
And Remus let go of her. She turned and stepped onto the revolving staircase, and turned to look at him as she ascended. Remus' eyes were pleading, begging, as if he was trying to make her hear something.
"Don't forget me."
* * *
Only minutes later, she was standing in the ornate marble dining room fireplace of the Malfoy's manor. She coughed, trying to brush black soot out of her shimmering hair and eyes.
"Ah, Miss Black. So you have arrived at last."
She opened her eyes.
Standing before her was Lucius Malfoy, just as she remembered him. Twenty years old, with long, sleek white-blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and gray eyes like steel. He was wearing a set of black dress robes with silver trim. The walking-stick he was leaning on was a Malfoy heirloom. Inside it, Lucius kept his wand.
He walked over to the fireplace and extended one graceful hand. She took it warily and stepped out into the glittering bright dining room. Everything was polished and shined to a sleek brightness that almost blinded her. The table was draped in a rose-colored tablecloth and decked out in silver candelabras and the Malfoy family china. Something delicious was cooking, but Narcissa couldn't tell exactly what.
"Please, sit down, my dear," Lucius said, pulling out one of the mahogany chairs, "We have much to talk about."
"We do," Narcissa hesitated, but didn't sit down. "I came here to discuss something with you, Lucius. About our wedding."
"Indeed?" Lucius smiled slightly. His eyebrows shifted slightly, but other than that, no change. This was going to be more difficult than she thought. "Yes." She twisted her fingers in her hands. "I suppose my parents have told you about my sister Andromeda."
"I might have heard a thing or two in the grapevine," Lucius replied mildly. "What does your sister have to do with us?"
"She spoke to me just before she eloped with Mr. Tonks," Narcissa replied. "And her letter made me think. Really think."
"About?"
"About, well, about the direction my life is taking," Narcissa said.
Lucius didn't say anything. He just watched her.
"There's no easy way for me to say what I have to say," Narcissa said, "So I'll just have to say it." She took a deep breath. "I can't marry you, Lucius."
Silence.
Lucius stared at her for a minute, and then said, "So you're breaking our engagement, Narcissa?"
"Yes."
He picked up a goblet on the table and poured a glass of wine. "Sit please," he said, placing the goblet back on the table.
"No, really, it's not necessary - "
"I insist," Lucius said, "There is no reason we can't talk this out like civilized people."
And Remus thought he would hurt me! Narcissa thought incredulously. She sat down in the proffered seat, taking the goblet in her hand and taking a sip. She tried not to make a face.
"Ah, I forget how young you are," Lucius said dryly. He sat down in a chair across the table from her. "So, this is why you came here tonight, I suppose. To break our engagement."
"Yes," she replied, "I didn't want to write it in a letter. I figured it would be the better thing to do, to tell you in person."
"It was the better thing to do, Narcissa," Lucius said, "Because now I must tell you that you are most certainly not going to break the engagement."
At first, she didn't understand him. Perhaps he was kidding, a cruel joke. But she looked into his eyes like gray iron and knew that he was serious.
"I'm not?" she asked warily.
"I received a very interesting letter last Tuesday," Lucius went on as if she hadn't spoken. "Someone informed me that you have been cavorting around with a lover. Is this true?"
"No," Narcissa said, too quickly.
Lucius looked at her intently, "Narcissa, darling," he said acidly, "You might at least do me the honor of the truth." He poured himself a glass of wine. "I hear that you have been carrying on with someone called Remus Lupin."
Narcissa's eyes widened. Who had told? How had they known?
"Lucius," she began.
"Now I am going to tell you what I brought you here for," Lucius said, rising to his feet and walking over to her. He braced his arms on the table and leaned in so he was almost touching her, "You are to go back to school and inform Remus Lupin that he is not to see you ever again. You will never have contact with him. You will break this little tryst of yours. And you WILL marry me. Next Saturday."
"Next Saturday?" Narcissa felt faint.
"I have already contacted your parents, and they have made the necessary preparations." Lucius smiled, "I told them how my pretty little bride was bored stiff with school, and couldn't wait to be done with the whole thing."
"What?" Narcissa asked, feeling as if she was falling into a deep pit, "I'm leaving school?"
"What use is graduating?" Lucius demanded, "As my wife you have no need for a job. You will lack nothing. You will live here with the wealth that I provide for you. There is nothing else you need in life."
"I won't do it!"
Narcissa found her voice at last. She pushed back her chair and rose to her feet. "I won't marry you, Lucius Malfoy! I'm in love with Remus. And I don't care how poor he is or how I'll have to work, I'll marry him because I love him! And there's nothing you can do about it!"
She caught a glimpse of Lucius' clenched teeth before a resounding slap drove her to the floor. Her eyes filled with tears and she stared up at him in stupefied shock. She couldn't believe that he had struck her. She touched her already-bruising cheek in terror and pain.
Lucius yanked her to her feet, until she was face-to-face with him.
"If you marry him," he spat, "I will tell the world what he is."
Narcissa's heart dropped.
"You don't know," she whispered, "You couldn't know."
"But I do know, stupid girl," Lucius seethed, "And if you leave tonight without breaking your relationship with him, I will tell the world. I will make sure that the words 'Remus Lupin' and 'werewolf' will be synonymous everywhere in England, even in the world! Nowhere he goes will be safe for him. He'll probably be killed straight off!"
"No!" Narcissa cried, covering her face with her hands in agony, "No, please!"
"There's nothing that will make me change my mind," Lucius replied stonily, "It's up to you now, Narcissa. Marry me, or I'll expose your beloved to the world."
He's evil, Narcissa thought desperately. He's mad, he's horrible, and he's wicked.
And he's going to make sure Remus is killed if I leave him.
"And another thing, darling," Lucius was saying, "If you tell this - any of this! - to anyone, I will make DOUBLY sure that Remus is killed. And you know I can do it."
"Please," Narcissa sobbed, "Please, Lucius."
"It is in your hands now, dear Narcissa," Lucius went on acidly, leading Narcissa to the fireplace and pushing her inside of it. Taking a handful of Floo powder, he smirked at her. "I trust you will make the right decision."
He hurled the powder into the fireplace, and his twisted face vanished in a blaze of green fire.
* * *
Narcissa pitched forward in Dumbledore's fire, sobbing uncontrollably. Through the haze of tears, she thought she saw Dumbledore's kindly face leaning towards her. But it was nothing but one of the old portraits on the wall. Dumbledore was at a staff meeting until late tonight, as he had told her. There was nobody there.
She ran over to the staircase and flung herself downstairs, praying that Remus wasn't there. She couldn't face his protective, loving face at that moment, couldn't tell him what she had to do. To look into those eyes and kill them before her would be hell itself. She tore down the hallway and pushed her way into the Slytherin common room. There was nobody awake this late. Everyone was in bed.
She sat down on one of the green velvet sofas and stared into the flickering flames. Thoughts and images fluttered through her mind. Remus' face. Lucius' stare. Her beating heart.
She knew what she had to do.
And the thought broke her heart.
She dropped her face into her hands and sobbed harder.
Somewhere behind her, a face in the darkness watched the pitiful scene. For a moment, he regretted what he had done. But it was too late to undo it now.