A Talk with a Vampire and Chocobo Hair Boy 2: SNARF
by Anna and Akira
Scene: Cloud stays the night at Vincent's at the Mansion. They are talking over a nice cup of Tea. ^_^
VINCENT: Cloud, god.... you're sexy... like a bunny. I just wanna snarf you up!
CLOUD: Oh, Vin-pants, you make me wanna snarf until I snarfin' can't snarf any more!
VINCENT: -rips of his shirt- God, I know... I'm just sooooo snarfalicious!
CLOUD: **sighs** Oh, god! I wanna snarf you sooooooo bad!
VINCENT: -grabs cloud close- Let us snarf like wild mad bunnies under the sun!
CLOUD: ::swoons, hands on vincent's chest:: Oh baby, let's snarf mad snarfing
llama-bunny-Barbie doll snarf!
VINCENT: -grabs cloud arse- I snarf you in the ass Cloud and watch you squeal like a
bunny... god, baby... you're just so... Spoony sexy!
Cloud: **bites vincent's nipple** Oh, god, snarf me like that! I've never wanted to snarf
so much, bunny-wumpkins-snarf!
Vincent: -screams like a girl- HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY! That hurts! -cries for a moment- That was
just so... unsnarfy...
CLOUD: I'm sorry, snarfwuppy...can I kiss it better? **snarfs...er, sniffles** I'm still
ready to snarf
VINCENT: -be dazzling smile- Of course, my little snarfy-chocoboo-butt! -licks Cloud- I
need to get my mojo going before I snarf, though...
CLOUD: Ooohhhh...so I should get the pre-snarf oven mitts and a duck, huh?
VINCENT: -throaty- god, yes! That makes even more snarfy! ooOOoo And a big kinky goth
feather! and leather! YESS! Snarfilous!
CLOUD: Oh my god, I'm going to snarfin' snarf myself if I don't snarfing do
some-snarfing-thing about it!
VINCENT: -pokes Cloud in the ribs and licks him- God, let's snarf! -runs into the next
room-
CLOUD: **runs after him, stripping** YES!! SNARF ME!!!
VINCENT: -sits on the bed in a Kuja-Thong- God, I will snarf you until you proclaim
Sephiroth as your bitch! -wiggles his hips-
CLOUD: **strikes a pose** I'll say whatever you want, as long as your snarf me long and
hard, babycakes!
VINCENT: -giggles like a school girl- of course... and for snarfing toys... I have.
-damatic pause- a vibrating PS controller!
CLOUD: **shaky** Oh, god, that make sme wanna snarf....mmmmm yeah!
CLOUD: **jumps over the bed and goes through the wall** AIEIEIEIEIEEEEE! **lands** ow,
that ain't snary...Vinnie-boo-boo, wanna lick my wounds?
VINCENT: -deadpan now- No! -ques in valley girl music- And like, like get icky stuff all
over my tongue! EWWWWWWWWWW! Cloudy, how could you even ask that! Now get up here and
let's snarf! And jump correctly this time!
CLOUD: **sulky** mmmkay **climbs on the bed** Snarf with our without ladie's underpants?
VINCENT: without baby... -removes Aeris' underpants. Wiggles hips at Cloud- God, aren't
just the snarfest bishonen you ever saw?!
CLOUD: **arches his back teasingly and rubs Vincent's thighs** Mmmm, snarfy as you, baby
VINCENT: -quacks loudly- yes, yes! -kisses Cloud- I'm sooo ready to snarf now...-
...BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
-random fat guy, known as Don Corneo, jumps on the bed-
DON: let me join innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
CLOUD: EEEEEK!
**Tifa runs in**
TIFA: Cloud-bunny! Tifa want snarf!
AERIS: -runs in too, but grabs Tifa from behind- Nooo! Tifa, you're mine! I won't share
you!
DON: OooOoooOOO! Snarfy!
CLOUD: Boobies! -squeals in delight-
VINCENT: boobies?
CLOUD; **nods** Boobies
TIFA: Shit, he got dumb again
YUFFIE: **running in** AHA! My plan worked! Now you will make make
happy-happy-bun-bun-snarf and I will steal the Materia and seduce Rufus!
RUFUS: **screams like a little girl offscreen somewhere**
VINCENT: but... -lip quivers- This is yaoi! you're suppose to hate boobies!
TIFA: NOOO! I rather snarf Cloud dumb then not at all!
AERIS: NOOO! Tifa, I LOVE YOU! -clings to her-
RUFUS: -leaps on naked Vincent- Since Clot here doesn't wanna snarf ya... and Yuffie is
stalking me, how about we snaf?
YUFFIE: NOOO! That's it... time for my secret weapon.... YUFFIE HENTAI!
BARRET: **screams like a little girl**
RUFUS: Hey! _
YUFFIE: I think it's good
TIFA: Ohhh, so do I!
AERIS: HEY!!
RUFUS: -starts crying- NOOOO! -pulls out a gun and throws it at Yuffie- Vincent, snarf me
now!
BARRET: NOO! Vincent, Cloud... SNARF ME! For I am... a sexy biotch and... QUEEN OF ALL THE
HAPPY LAND!
PALMER: **farts**
RUFUS: **holding his nose** That was contrived
AERIS: **sulks** I am HORNY, and out of character.
-Akira and Anna roll from underneath the bed, gasping for breath. Anna laying on Akira who
is half dead-
CLOUD: Cloud likey Anna boobies!
ANNA: **stands up, smacks Cloud** Don't GO there, girlfriend!
AKIRA: I like Aeris' boobies! -grins from her position on the ground-
VINCENT: This is rape! -trying to kick off Barret who is humping his leg, Rufus who trying
to give him a hand job, and a naughty and nude Palmer-
ANNA: **points and laughs**
TIFA: **points and laughs**
AERIS: **points and laughs**
CLOUD: **drools**
AKIRA: -points and screams... pulls a mallet and smashes Barret- EWWW! Put that away! This
is a VincentXClot-boy story!
CLOUD: -drools more- Cloud like Palmer's bobbies...
PALMER: why thank you... I do try to keep my figure, you know...
AERIS: -cries and buries her face in Tifa's chest-
RUFUS: SNARF ME VINCENT!
VINCENT: **sulky** You know, this is the first time since LUCRECIA that I have even come
close to getting laid in 27 years, years spent in a coffin so stuffy and small that I
couldn't even MASTURBATE, let alone COME-- **gets angrier** -- not to MENTION that my dick
is only about five inches LONGER then a normal man's, but WHO'S GONNA KNOW???? The ONE
TIME I TRY TO SNARF SOMEONE, I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THIS BULLSHIT?@?@?@ FUCK YOU!
CLOUD: **drools**
AERIS: Wow! That's so... interesting... I'm still horny though.. Tifa,
sweetie, you're flower wants to snarf!
CLOUD: Cloud see Aeris' boobies now?
AERIS: -smack- Hell no!
TBC
lol