Heh....heh....heh....
This chapter gets REALLY ridiculous. I am having so much fun! See if you can pronounce THIS Mary-Sue's name! (I'm not sure if I can)
Anyway, I don't own Legolas (nor the ridiculous names I made up for him.....you'll see) or Aragorn, or his REAL ridiculous names (or the made up ones) Elrond, OR my Mary-Sue. I don't want to own her. ^_^
FANTABULOUS LEGGOSITY
Partie deux
Presently, Legolas arrived in Rivendell, to deliver the wounded maiden into the healing care of Lord Elrond. The fact that he had in fact been aiming for Mirkwood did not phase him one bit. Running frantically through the Last Homely House, he burst in upon Elrond, who, of course, was not doing anything important and instantly devoted all his time to healing the random unknown beauty.
****
The random unknown beauty stirred fretfully, slowly awakening back into consciousness. She brushed her hair, which was blacker than the heart of a coal stuffed under the sofa cushion, back off her fair face and cast her wide crystalline blue eyes about in innocence, finding herself in an empty room.
"Oh, wherefore is it that I hath been conveyed too?" she cried, alarmed by her present surroundings. "What cruel tortures dideth the Orcs inflict upon me whilst I was captured by them? Who hath save-ed me from the foul creatures? Eth."
It was just then than Legolas entered the room to find the random unknown beauty awake. His clear azure eyes met her sparkling cerulean ones, and for a long moment they teetered, considering to succumb to the urge to instantly begin shagging.
"Where am I?" The random unknown beauty finally asked, and her voice was like the tinkling of silver bells, clear and calm, beautiful and enrapturing. Legolas wished even more to shag her.
"O fair maiden." Legolas whispered in his best Help-A-Mary-Sue-Authoress-Is-Writing-My-Dialogue!! tone. "You are in the House of Elrond, who hath healed thou from thine terrible wounds. But now I must ask- who are you, and wherefore do you come from?"
"I am but a poor lost human/Elf/Hobbit, cast into the cruel world with no parents or siblings or even any frat boys to help me forge my way through this land of turmoil!" the fair maiden cried. "My name is Annuninomincirthwenniron!"
"Annuninomincirthwenniron!" Legolas said. "My name is Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil, the Sultan of Swing, the Duke of Disco, the Raja of Rumba, a child of the universe, no less than the trees!"
Elrond fortunately/unfortunately entered at this precise moment to interrupt the absolutely sizzling dialogue between the Elven Prince and the human/Elf/Hobbit. He bade Annuninomincirthwenniron to rest and steered Legolas out into the hallway.
"Legolas, you must be told whom that dazzling beauty be!" Elrond exclaimed. "She is a princess of a lost race of Elves, one of its last survivors! Her mother and father were murdered in the fight against Sauron, her siblings were sentenced to death by firing squad and chickens, and her frat boys were accosted by Buddist Monks, gave up all their worldly possessions and moved to Tibet."
Legolas wiped a tear from his eyes. "What a grievous, compelling saga." He said with emotion. "She needs comforting in this time of her grief."
"Yes." Elrond agreed. "I have taken the initiative to invite her to the super-secret-hush-hush-on-the-down-low-clandestine COUNCIL OF ELROND!" Elrond bellowed. Many Elves in the hall turned to look at him.
"Yes, that will indeed lighten her spirits." Legolas agreed. He cast a longing look at the door which lead into the room of Annuninomincirthwenniron. "Such a breathtaking beauty she is." He sighed. "I wish I could be her condolence."
"Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil, the Sultan of Swing, the Duke of Disco, the Raja of Rumba, a child of the universe, no less than the trees, you must not involve yourself with Annuninomincirthwenniron! She is an unobtainable dazzling gem and is not to be defiled." Elrond said sharply.
"I understand, Lord Elrond." Legolas said, casting his eyes down. "I shall see you at the Council."
"Yes, very well." Elrond said, turning and beginning to walk away. "Oh, and Legolas…?"
"Yes?" Legolas asked.
"Please consider doing something about all of those names. You're getting as bad as Aragorn, son of Aragorn, son of Arador, son of Arathorn, son of Arassull, son of Arahad, son of Lloyd the Microwave Salesman, son of Aravorn, son of Aragost, son of Arahad, son of Araglas, son of Joe, son of Aragorn, son of Aravir, son of Aranuir, son of Arahael, son of Aranarth, son of Arvedui, son of Donald Trump, son of Araphant, son of Araval, son of Arveleg, son of Arvegil, son of Franz Kafka, son of Argeleb, son of Araphor, son of Chuckles the Kosher Clown, son of Arveleb, son of Argeleb, son of Malvegil, son of Obi-Wan Kenobi, son of Celebrindor, son of Celepharn, son of Mallor, son of Tiny Tim, son of Beleg, son of Amlaith, son of Earendur, son of Elendur, son of Peter Jennings, son of Valandur, son of Tarondor, son of Tarcil, son of Arantar, son of Foster Brooks, son of Eldacar, son of Valandil, son of Isildur, son of Elendil, Strider, Elfstone, Estel, Longshanks, the Dunadan-
"Yes, yes, I am well aware of Aragorn's titles. But I do so admire mine, and I think I shall keep them." Legolas said before Elrond could go any further. Indeed, he was nearly at the end anyway.
"Ahem…yes. All right then." Elrond said. He began to walk away gain, and then stopped and turned for a second time. "And remember Legolas…." He said sternly. "No touchie Annuninomincirthwenniron!"
"No touchie." Legolas promised faithfully.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, that was ridiculous. :) You can thank Greg Nagan as the inspiration for most of these crazybits. If you've never read anything by him...you're really missing out!
This chapter gets REALLY ridiculous. I am having so much fun! See if you can pronounce THIS Mary-Sue's name! (I'm not sure if I can)
Anyway, I don't own Legolas (nor the ridiculous names I made up for him.....you'll see) or Aragorn, or his REAL ridiculous names (or the made up ones) Elrond, OR my Mary-Sue. I don't want to own her. ^_^
FANTABULOUS LEGGOSITY
Partie deux
Presently, Legolas arrived in Rivendell, to deliver the wounded maiden into the healing care of Lord Elrond. The fact that he had in fact been aiming for Mirkwood did not phase him one bit. Running frantically through the Last Homely House, he burst in upon Elrond, who, of course, was not doing anything important and instantly devoted all his time to healing the random unknown beauty.
****
The random unknown beauty stirred fretfully, slowly awakening back into consciousness. She brushed her hair, which was blacker than the heart of a coal stuffed under the sofa cushion, back off her fair face and cast her wide crystalline blue eyes about in innocence, finding herself in an empty room.
"Oh, wherefore is it that I hath been conveyed too?" she cried, alarmed by her present surroundings. "What cruel tortures dideth the Orcs inflict upon me whilst I was captured by them? Who hath save-ed me from the foul creatures? Eth."
It was just then than Legolas entered the room to find the random unknown beauty awake. His clear azure eyes met her sparkling cerulean ones, and for a long moment they teetered, considering to succumb to the urge to instantly begin shagging.
"Where am I?" The random unknown beauty finally asked, and her voice was like the tinkling of silver bells, clear and calm, beautiful and enrapturing. Legolas wished even more to shag her.
"O fair maiden." Legolas whispered in his best Help-A-Mary-Sue-Authoress-Is-Writing-My-Dialogue!! tone. "You are in the House of Elrond, who hath healed thou from thine terrible wounds. But now I must ask- who are you, and wherefore do you come from?"
"I am but a poor lost human/Elf/Hobbit, cast into the cruel world with no parents or siblings or even any frat boys to help me forge my way through this land of turmoil!" the fair maiden cried. "My name is Annuninomincirthwenniron!"
"Annuninomincirthwenniron!" Legolas said. "My name is Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil, the Sultan of Swing, the Duke of Disco, the Raja of Rumba, a child of the universe, no less than the trees!"
Elrond fortunately/unfortunately entered at this precise moment to interrupt the absolutely sizzling dialogue between the Elven Prince and the human/Elf/Hobbit. He bade Annuninomincirthwenniron to rest and steered Legolas out into the hallway.
"Legolas, you must be told whom that dazzling beauty be!" Elrond exclaimed. "She is a princess of a lost race of Elves, one of its last survivors! Her mother and father were murdered in the fight against Sauron, her siblings were sentenced to death by firing squad and chickens, and her frat boys were accosted by Buddist Monks, gave up all their worldly possessions and moved to Tibet."
Legolas wiped a tear from his eyes. "What a grievous, compelling saga." He said with emotion. "She needs comforting in this time of her grief."
"Yes." Elrond agreed. "I have taken the initiative to invite her to the super-secret-hush-hush-on-the-down-low-clandestine COUNCIL OF ELROND!" Elrond bellowed. Many Elves in the hall turned to look at him.
"Yes, that will indeed lighten her spirits." Legolas agreed. He cast a longing look at the door which lead into the room of Annuninomincirthwenniron. "Such a breathtaking beauty she is." He sighed. "I wish I could be her condolence."
"Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, son of Thranduil, the Sultan of Swing, the Duke of Disco, the Raja of Rumba, a child of the universe, no less than the trees, you must not involve yourself with Annuninomincirthwenniron! She is an unobtainable dazzling gem and is not to be defiled." Elrond said sharply.
"I understand, Lord Elrond." Legolas said, casting his eyes down. "I shall see you at the Council."
"Yes, very well." Elrond said, turning and beginning to walk away. "Oh, and Legolas…?"
"Yes?" Legolas asked.
"Please consider doing something about all of those names. You're getting as bad as Aragorn, son of Aragorn, son of Arador, son of Arathorn, son of Arassull, son of Arahad, son of Lloyd the Microwave Salesman, son of Aravorn, son of Aragost, son of Arahad, son of Araglas, son of Joe, son of Aragorn, son of Aravir, son of Aranuir, son of Arahael, son of Aranarth, son of Arvedui, son of Donald Trump, son of Araphant, son of Araval, son of Arveleg, son of Arvegil, son of Franz Kafka, son of Argeleb, son of Araphor, son of Chuckles the Kosher Clown, son of Arveleb, son of Argeleb, son of Malvegil, son of Obi-Wan Kenobi, son of Celebrindor, son of Celepharn, son of Mallor, son of Tiny Tim, son of Beleg, son of Amlaith, son of Earendur, son of Elendur, son of Peter Jennings, son of Valandur, son of Tarondor, son of Tarcil, son of Arantar, son of Foster Brooks, son of Eldacar, son of Valandil, son of Isildur, son of Elendil, Strider, Elfstone, Estel, Longshanks, the Dunadan-
"Yes, yes, I am well aware of Aragorn's titles. But I do so admire mine, and I think I shall keep them." Legolas said before Elrond could go any further. Indeed, he was nearly at the end anyway.
"Ahem…yes. All right then." Elrond said. He began to walk away gain, and then stopped and turned for a second time. "And remember Legolas…." He said sternly. "No touchie Annuninomincirthwenniron!"
"No touchie." Legolas promised faithfully.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, that was ridiculous. :) You can thank Greg Nagan as the inspiration for most of these crazybits. If you've never read anything by him...you're really missing out!