It's time for more shameless mockery! Gwa ha ha ha. It's short and rather a cheater chapter, but I wanted to get something up before the school week started, because nothing will go up DURING the school week.
Funny how a moment of extreme irateness at Mary-Sues can turn into a fic. Whoo! Fun. Other things will be updated...soon. HARRY POTTER SCRIPT BY NEXT WEEKEND! All rejoice. Yay.
FANTABULOUS LEGGOSITY!!
Partie trois
That night, when the glowing orb of the silver moon had risen majestically over the Last Homely House, bathing the valley in twinkling faerie light, the sparkling corniness of it all making every occupant rather ill, Annuninomincirthwenniron found it was the perfect time to make an unplanned rendezvous with Legolas.
Accidentally clad in a sheer scanty nightie, she arose gracefully from her sick-bed and went flitting about the halls, singing softly in a voice more beautiful and clear than Celine Dion, LeeAnne Rimes, Sarah Brightman and all other famous female singers combined.
The sound of her high, clear, glass-shattering voice caused Legolas to morph out of the walls of Rivendell, where he'd been waiting for her to come along. Like a big shaggy mutt after a thick beefy slab of meat, Legolas trotted after Annuninomincirthwenniron as she glided, wraith-like, through the halls.
"Annuninomincirthwenniron!" Legolas finally lamented, unable to restrain himself any longer. Annuninomincirthwenniron whirled around, the song dying on her lips.
"Uck! It's dead!" she exclaimed, and quickly spat it out. She then noticed who had called her name and uttered a highly feminine gasp and clutched her transparent nightie around her, which still hid nothing.
"Legolas! How dare-eth you follow me about the halls like a big shaggy mutt after a thick beefy slab of meat! Haveth you no respect for a lady's right to wander half-clothed about Rivendell? Shame on thee!" Her eyes, earlier crystalline and innocent in their vivacious blue, were now a angry shade of violet. She pointed to them and exclaimed:
"See-eth thou the way mine eyes hath become violet? 'Tis a true sign of my superficial annoyance with you! I shalt insult you and kick thine ass whilst all the time hiding my true feelings for you!" With that admonition, she stalked away in anger.
"Fair maiden Annuninomincirthwenniron!" Legolas cried after her, but before he had finished eeking out her name, she was gone.
"Oh, curses upon that fair one! That fair one," Legolas lamented, "whose beauty could only be upstaged by something more beautiful! Who is equipped with all feminine body parts! Whose rebel fiery temper is a warmth to mine own heart!"
And with that, he trounced off to be violently ill on account of the unfortunate saccharine blather and terrible Old English which had recently been pouring from his mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, it's a cheater. ^_^
Some notes on the LAST chapter (chapter two):
The part of Legolas' title, "child of the universe, no less than the trees" is from the Desiderata by Max Ehrman. I actually DIDN'T make that up, although it fits Legolas rather well….^_^
Yes, the mistakes in Aragorn's name list were PURPOSEFUL. (Vorserkeien: You WERE right, Gimli is Elf-friend and Aragorn is ElfSTONE. It's fixed now. Thankies! ^_^) I hope everyone one caught the inserted names in Aragorn's long heredity list. And some of them actually WEREN'T random! Tiny Tim: singer guy with long greasy hair (Aragorn!). Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi with long greasy hair (Aragorn!). Foster Brooks: a comedian who portrays drunks often and therefore falls down a lot (FRODO!). Franz Kafka: a depressing Czech author who wrote about alienation. Aragorn alienates himself..ooooh. All the other names were random or ones I made up. ^_^
Yeah, I'll shut up now, before my notes become longer than the chapter. Wouldn't want that now, would we.....
Funny how a moment of extreme irateness at Mary-Sues can turn into a fic. Whoo! Fun. Other things will be updated...soon. HARRY POTTER SCRIPT BY NEXT WEEKEND! All rejoice. Yay.
FANTABULOUS LEGGOSITY!!
Partie trois
That night, when the glowing orb of the silver moon had risen majestically over the Last Homely House, bathing the valley in twinkling faerie light, the sparkling corniness of it all making every occupant rather ill, Annuninomincirthwenniron found it was the perfect time to make an unplanned rendezvous with Legolas.
Accidentally clad in a sheer scanty nightie, she arose gracefully from her sick-bed and went flitting about the halls, singing softly in a voice more beautiful and clear than Celine Dion, LeeAnne Rimes, Sarah Brightman and all other famous female singers combined.
The sound of her high, clear, glass-shattering voice caused Legolas to morph out of the walls of Rivendell, where he'd been waiting for her to come along. Like a big shaggy mutt after a thick beefy slab of meat, Legolas trotted after Annuninomincirthwenniron as she glided, wraith-like, through the halls.
"Annuninomincirthwenniron!" Legolas finally lamented, unable to restrain himself any longer. Annuninomincirthwenniron whirled around, the song dying on her lips.
"Uck! It's dead!" she exclaimed, and quickly spat it out. She then noticed who had called her name and uttered a highly feminine gasp and clutched her transparent nightie around her, which still hid nothing.
"Legolas! How dare-eth you follow me about the halls like a big shaggy mutt after a thick beefy slab of meat! Haveth you no respect for a lady's right to wander half-clothed about Rivendell? Shame on thee!" Her eyes, earlier crystalline and innocent in their vivacious blue, were now a angry shade of violet. She pointed to them and exclaimed:
"See-eth thou the way mine eyes hath become violet? 'Tis a true sign of my superficial annoyance with you! I shalt insult you and kick thine ass whilst all the time hiding my true feelings for you!" With that admonition, she stalked away in anger.
"Fair maiden Annuninomincirthwenniron!" Legolas cried after her, but before he had finished eeking out her name, she was gone.
"Oh, curses upon that fair one! That fair one," Legolas lamented, "whose beauty could only be upstaged by something more beautiful! Who is equipped with all feminine body parts! Whose rebel fiery temper is a warmth to mine own heart!"
And with that, he trounced off to be violently ill on account of the unfortunate saccharine blather and terrible Old English which had recently been pouring from his mouth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, it's a cheater. ^_^
Some notes on the LAST chapter (chapter two):
The part of Legolas' title, "child of the universe, no less than the trees" is from the Desiderata by Max Ehrman. I actually DIDN'T make that up, although it fits Legolas rather well….^_^
Yes, the mistakes in Aragorn's name list were PURPOSEFUL. (Vorserkeien: You WERE right, Gimli is Elf-friend and Aragorn is ElfSTONE. It's fixed now. Thankies! ^_^) I hope everyone one caught the inserted names in Aragorn's long heredity list. And some of them actually WEREN'T random! Tiny Tim: singer guy with long greasy hair (Aragorn!). Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi with long greasy hair (Aragorn!). Foster Brooks: a comedian who portrays drunks often and therefore falls down a lot (FRODO!). Franz Kafka: a depressing Czech author who wrote about alienation. Aragorn alienates himself..ooooh. All the other names were random or ones I made up. ^_^
Yeah, I'll shut up now, before my notes become longer than the chapter. Wouldn't want that now, would we.....