I Know You Love Him
Chapter 7: Pressure
If only I hadn't let you cry before they debriefed you, Irina, I thought to myself, a year after they incarcerated you, I wouldn't have to be doing this to Alexander now. Not that I really minded having to do it. He lied to me about you, and like a fool, I believed him. I should have known you would not have volunteered for fieldwork again, not so soon after your harrowing ten-year mission. I should have suspected the truth when he gave me my own yearlong, deep cover mission, a few days after the "last" time we slept together. I was disgusted with myself. I had committed what is, in the life we have lead for so long, and the only life I know how to lead, an unforgivable sin. I had trusted him. Without question, I had trusted him. It made me sick to think this was the closest I ever came to being in love. But when I returned and discovered the truth, Alexander found himself in a very bad situation indeed. If not for the fact that I needed his help, I might have considered to slitting his throat, as I stood in his bedroom that day.
"Katya, if this is your new idea of foreplay..." He gave a weak laugh that did not mask his fear. I glared at him as I held a knife to his throat, noting the beads of sweat running down his forehead. Panicking. Over a knife. Hadn't he been through hand-to-hand combat training, like the rest of us? Perhaps he had been out of the field for too long. Too much deskwork had slowed his reflexes, that much was certain. It had been so easy to take him by surprise. I was disgusted, that he was becoming less attractive to me with each passing second. At least, that's what I told myself. "You are going to help me." "Katya –" I pressed the knife to his throat, causing him to bleed just a little. Just enough so that he could imagine how much more of his blood I could shed if I decided to. "I am going to get Irina out of Kashmir, and you are going to help me do it." "The repercussions – for all of us –" "I am not interested in the repercussions. I don't care." Some of the fear on his face was replaced by anger. This suited him better. "The KGB will hunt us down. You will have rescued your sister only to have both of us executed by her side – for treason!" I smirked as I drew myself closer to him. "When did you start being such a patriot again, Alexander? It wasn't so very long ago that you were complaining to me about the woebegone state of our government. In fact, I seem to remember you predicting the downfall of this Soviet Union by the end of this decade. I was rather shocked to hear you say such a thing out loud, but then, you are my superior, after all's said and done. Of course, I haven't mentioned your little comment to any of your superiors ... yet." His expression blackened. "You little bitch, you can't blackmail me!" "Oh yes I can." I pressed myself against him, pinning him to the wall. I lifted the knife from his throat and put my mouth where it had been, tasting his blood on my lips and tongue, and sensing his sharp intake of breath as I expertly nuzzled his neck, recalling very quickly what had pleased him in our past liaisons. I pulled back to take in the strange alchemy of fear, lust, and rage that was emerging on his face, and smiled. "But it doesn't have to be that way. I don't want it to be that way. Just think, Alexander. The three of us – with our combined resources, contacts, connections, and skills – we could go freelance. Aren't you sick of it," I asked, as I ran my free hand lightly up his arm, "this blind devotion a dying ideology?" "I supposed I have become ... disillusioned ... with the government," Alexander replied, some of the anger receding from his features. I placed my thumb against the wound I'd inflicted on his neck, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. "But this is going to take time ... and help from someone working on the inside." We looked at each other, both thinking of the same man. "Cuvee." I said. He nodded. "Rumor is that he's already begun establish ties to organized crime ... in several countries, as well as here at home." "Rumor?" "All right, so he told me. Well, more or less, anyway. He might be interested in joining a ... freelance ... organization. Still, I'm not sure if he will help us –" "Of course he will! He not stupid; he sees the handwriting on the wall as clearly as we do. And besides, he has even more of a thing for Irina than you." I regretted that as soon I said it. I shouldn't have given him such an easy opening. Sensing it was good moment to establish some measure of control in the situation, Alexander leaned forward, returning the pressure of my body against his, and I felt my breath catch unwillingly in my throat. Damn it. "Don't you know that was all a ruse? Too make you jealous, and more possessive of me? Pity it didn't work." I suppose it had too long since ... well ... let's just I almost let the knife drop, right then. But I managed to master my desire, though it was with some difficulty that I did so. For just an instant, I idly considered putting it to his throat again. Only as a precaution, of course. But then his arms slipped enticingly around me, and I hastily compromised by flinging it across the room, so it was out of reach for both of us. Trusting him this time was a calculated risk, one I took for you. It had nothing to do with what I wanted. Really. Before my mind began to cloud over with more selfish thoughts, I made sure Alexander and I were on the same page regarding your situation. "We are in agreement then?" Determined, I turned my head so he could not stop my mouth with his, only to find him kissing my neck, my shoulder in a way that made me shiver, overwhelmed by the power of forgotten sensations. Damn it. "We ... have an understanding?" "Yes," he paused, taking in the effect his embrace had on me, and clearly enjoying it. "This will mean abandoning Mother Russia earlier than I planned – what, you assume I never think ahead? –" He asked, as I let out a snort of disbelief, "but it will give us a head start, an edge over the other organizations that are sure to emerge in the wake of the Union's fall." "We should get started then." He started to kiss me again. On my mouth now. This was diverting. Extremely diverting. Damn it damn it damn it! Some men – most men – have one-track minds. "Soon." "Now. Today." He sighed, and surprisingly, released me. His voice was sullen as he launched into an explanation. "Katya," he said, "I had already arranged for you to visit Irina in Kashmir, right after your debrief tomorrow. All I need to do now is alert Cuvee of our intent. He can leak the prison blueprints to her, along with a mapping of the terrain; you can communicate to her a rendezvous date, the specific time when we will pick her up in Pakistan. Then we can all begin, as you said, freelancing. Cuvee could even given us an 'assignment,' as a front for our activities. If we are careful, we can stay one step ahead of KGB counter-intelligence, and by the time they realize what we are doing, they will be extinct." He had planned ahead. As I realized this, I couldn't help but admire him, though I had a reservation. "But what if Cuvee –" "If you are concerned about him double-crossing us, you can stop worrying right now. I have plenty of dirt on him, information that will make him abandon any plans for betrayal. And I'm sure you will agree that your sister is more than capable of escaping the actual facility on her own, as long as she has the knowledge of its layout. Here," he snapped, seeing my still-doubtful expression, as he picked up a thick folder from his nightstand and tossed it at me, "passport, authorization forms – everything you need to gain access to Irina. Official sanctions and all." I gaped at him, completely taken aback by his ... what? What was it that motivated him to do this for me, unasked? Affection? Generosity? Kindness? Not possible. Not from him, not for me. There was just no way we had that strong of a connection. More likely, it was an attempt to placate me, in anticipation my wrath when I learned about his deception. Or else, it was simply an expert manipulation of my emotions. Still, I couldn't be sure. I must admit, I continue to ponder his reasons to this day. Meanwhile, Alexander glared at me, seeming genuinely offended as he took in my shocked expression. "You are an impossible woman! You know that, don't you Katya?" he ranted. "For God's sake! Give me a little credit here, all right? Granted, I'm not in love with you or anything ridiculous like that, but every now and then it would be nice of you to give me a little cred –" So I kissed him, more forcefully than I had done anything in a long time, slipping my arms around his neck, and drawing him towards the bed. "I'll give you more than that," I told him, my voice growing husky. "All right? Much more. I promise." This time, his laughter was genuine, and soft, as he pushed me onto the bed. "I knew that you still wanted me. The knife, the threats – it was your new idea of foreplay, after all." "Shut up," I murmured thickly, before he covered my mouth and my body with his own. "Just – shut up." "Didn't you have the chance to get laid at all on your last mission?" "Alexander, can't you think of a better way to use your mouth on me than doing all this stupid talking?" "Hmm. I guess that answers that question. Oh well, so much for 'one last time.'"
Chapter 7: Pressure
If only I hadn't let you cry before they debriefed you, Irina, I thought to myself, a year after they incarcerated you, I wouldn't have to be doing this to Alexander now. Not that I really minded having to do it. He lied to me about you, and like a fool, I believed him. I should have known you would not have volunteered for fieldwork again, not so soon after your harrowing ten-year mission. I should have suspected the truth when he gave me my own yearlong, deep cover mission, a few days after the "last" time we slept together. I was disgusted with myself. I had committed what is, in the life we have lead for so long, and the only life I know how to lead, an unforgivable sin. I had trusted him. Without question, I had trusted him. It made me sick to think this was the closest I ever came to being in love. But when I returned and discovered the truth, Alexander found himself in a very bad situation indeed. If not for the fact that I needed his help, I might have considered to slitting his throat, as I stood in his bedroom that day.
"Katya, if this is your new idea of foreplay..." He gave a weak laugh that did not mask his fear. I glared at him as I held a knife to his throat, noting the beads of sweat running down his forehead. Panicking. Over a knife. Hadn't he been through hand-to-hand combat training, like the rest of us? Perhaps he had been out of the field for too long. Too much deskwork had slowed his reflexes, that much was certain. It had been so easy to take him by surprise. I was disgusted, that he was becoming less attractive to me with each passing second. At least, that's what I told myself. "You are going to help me." "Katya –" I pressed the knife to his throat, causing him to bleed just a little. Just enough so that he could imagine how much more of his blood I could shed if I decided to. "I am going to get Irina out of Kashmir, and you are going to help me do it." "The repercussions – for all of us –" "I am not interested in the repercussions. I don't care." Some of the fear on his face was replaced by anger. This suited him better. "The KGB will hunt us down. You will have rescued your sister only to have both of us executed by her side – for treason!" I smirked as I drew myself closer to him. "When did you start being such a patriot again, Alexander? It wasn't so very long ago that you were complaining to me about the woebegone state of our government. In fact, I seem to remember you predicting the downfall of this Soviet Union by the end of this decade. I was rather shocked to hear you say such a thing out loud, but then, you are my superior, after all's said and done. Of course, I haven't mentioned your little comment to any of your superiors ... yet." His expression blackened. "You little bitch, you can't blackmail me!" "Oh yes I can." I pressed myself against him, pinning him to the wall. I lifted the knife from his throat and put my mouth where it had been, tasting his blood on my lips and tongue, and sensing his sharp intake of breath as I expertly nuzzled his neck, recalling very quickly what had pleased him in our past liaisons. I pulled back to take in the strange alchemy of fear, lust, and rage that was emerging on his face, and smiled. "But it doesn't have to be that way. I don't want it to be that way. Just think, Alexander. The three of us – with our combined resources, contacts, connections, and skills – we could go freelance. Aren't you sick of it," I asked, as I ran my free hand lightly up his arm, "this blind devotion a dying ideology?" "I supposed I have become ... disillusioned ... with the government," Alexander replied, some of the anger receding from his features. I placed my thumb against the wound I'd inflicted on his neck, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. "But this is going to take time ... and help from someone working on the inside." We looked at each other, both thinking of the same man. "Cuvee." I said. He nodded. "Rumor is that he's already begun establish ties to organized crime ... in several countries, as well as here at home." "Rumor?" "All right, so he told me. Well, more or less, anyway. He might be interested in joining a ... freelance ... organization. Still, I'm not sure if he will help us –" "Of course he will! He not stupid; he sees the handwriting on the wall as clearly as we do. And besides, he has even more of a thing for Irina than you." I regretted that as soon I said it. I shouldn't have given him such an easy opening. Sensing it was good moment to establish some measure of control in the situation, Alexander leaned forward, returning the pressure of my body against his, and I felt my breath catch unwillingly in my throat. Damn it. "Don't you know that was all a ruse? Too make you jealous, and more possessive of me? Pity it didn't work." I suppose it had too long since ... well ... let's just I almost let the knife drop, right then. But I managed to master my desire, though it was with some difficulty that I did so. For just an instant, I idly considered putting it to his throat again. Only as a precaution, of course. But then his arms slipped enticingly around me, and I hastily compromised by flinging it across the room, so it was out of reach for both of us. Trusting him this time was a calculated risk, one I took for you. It had nothing to do with what I wanted. Really. Before my mind began to cloud over with more selfish thoughts, I made sure Alexander and I were on the same page regarding your situation. "We are in agreement then?" Determined, I turned my head so he could not stop my mouth with his, only to find him kissing my neck, my shoulder in a way that made me shiver, overwhelmed by the power of forgotten sensations. Damn it. "We ... have an understanding?" "Yes," he paused, taking in the effect his embrace had on me, and clearly enjoying it. "This will mean abandoning Mother Russia earlier than I planned – what, you assume I never think ahead? –" He asked, as I let out a snort of disbelief, "but it will give us a head start, an edge over the other organizations that are sure to emerge in the wake of the Union's fall." "We should get started then." He started to kiss me again. On my mouth now. This was diverting. Extremely diverting. Damn it damn it damn it! Some men – most men – have one-track minds. "Soon." "Now. Today." He sighed, and surprisingly, released me. His voice was sullen as he launched into an explanation. "Katya," he said, "I had already arranged for you to visit Irina in Kashmir, right after your debrief tomorrow. All I need to do now is alert Cuvee of our intent. He can leak the prison blueprints to her, along with a mapping of the terrain; you can communicate to her a rendezvous date, the specific time when we will pick her up in Pakistan. Then we can all begin, as you said, freelancing. Cuvee could even given us an 'assignment,' as a front for our activities. If we are careful, we can stay one step ahead of KGB counter-intelligence, and by the time they realize what we are doing, they will be extinct." He had planned ahead. As I realized this, I couldn't help but admire him, though I had a reservation. "But what if Cuvee –" "If you are concerned about him double-crossing us, you can stop worrying right now. I have plenty of dirt on him, information that will make him abandon any plans for betrayal. And I'm sure you will agree that your sister is more than capable of escaping the actual facility on her own, as long as she has the knowledge of its layout. Here," he snapped, seeing my still-doubtful expression, as he picked up a thick folder from his nightstand and tossed it at me, "passport, authorization forms – everything you need to gain access to Irina. Official sanctions and all." I gaped at him, completely taken aback by his ... what? What was it that motivated him to do this for me, unasked? Affection? Generosity? Kindness? Not possible. Not from him, not for me. There was just no way we had that strong of a connection. More likely, it was an attempt to placate me, in anticipation my wrath when I learned about his deception. Or else, it was simply an expert manipulation of my emotions. Still, I couldn't be sure. I must admit, I continue to ponder his reasons to this day. Meanwhile, Alexander glared at me, seeming genuinely offended as he took in my shocked expression. "You are an impossible woman! You know that, don't you Katya?" he ranted. "For God's sake! Give me a little credit here, all right? Granted, I'm not in love with you or anything ridiculous like that, but every now and then it would be nice of you to give me a little cred –" So I kissed him, more forcefully than I had done anything in a long time, slipping my arms around his neck, and drawing him towards the bed. "I'll give you more than that," I told him, my voice growing husky. "All right? Much more. I promise." This time, his laughter was genuine, and soft, as he pushed me onto the bed. "I knew that you still wanted me. The knife, the threats – it was your new idea of foreplay, after all." "Shut up," I murmured thickly, before he covered my mouth and my body with his own. "Just – shut up." "Didn't you have the chance to get laid at all on your last mission?" "Alexander, can't you think of a better way to use your mouth on me than doing all this stupid talking?" "Hmm. I guess that answers that question. Oh well, so much for 'one last time.'"