"Hello?" Hello, Jack? Are you home?"
Jack the farmer looked up from his work at the sound of the familiar voice. He was in the middle of milking his cows, being assisted by the Harvest Sprites, in his barn. He turned to the nearest sprite, a diminuitive large-nosed thing dressed entirely in purple, from the top of his pointy coned hat, to the hem of his tablecloth-like robes.
"Er....Tinky, was it? Tinky, I need to step out for a minute and see who that is. Do you think you and the others can take over while I'm gone?"
The sprite struggled with the metal cannister full of milk, which was clearly twice his own size. "I'm Winky!," the sprite corrected him. "We's is union members! You don't work, we don't work, chum!"
Jack blinked. "What? Union members?"
"They're the union members," called a voice behind one of the cows. "I wanna be a dentist!"
"Shaddup, Minky!" The purple sprite finally put down his load and looked up at Jack while wiping the sweat off his brow. "'Strue, it's all in our contract, too-tall! Just read the fine print," he added.
Jack was about to say something, but he heard his visitor call out for him once more, and knock on his front door. "Well....alright! But after this, it's right back to work," he said irritably.
The purple-draped sprite whistled shrilly, and around the barn, seven other colorful cones turned to face him. "Break time, boys!"
Jack watched as they each dropped what they were doing and filed out the barn doors. One lit up a cigarette, while the other chugged back a bottle of beer inside a brown paper bag.
"Ah, Jack! There you are," called the voice again.
Pastor Carter walked up to the barn doors, smiling as he watched the Sprites. "My, my! What short little people! Jack, who are they?"
"Short? We ain't short! We's is vertically-challenged!" said one in green.
"Yeah, you're being heightist! Insensitive, that's what you is!" seconded a blue one. "Watch yer mouth, or I'll kick yer ankle!"
"Forgive me," said the priest, still smiling. "Jack, won't you introduce us?"
"Er, sure. Guys, this is Pastor Carter," Jack said, slowly. "Pastor, these are the Harvest Sprites: Tinky, Winky, Blinky, Dinky, Minky, Stinky, Pinky, and Frodo."
"Frodo?" The priest raised an eyebrow.
"'E's adopted," Winky explained through the corner of his mouth. Leaning against the barn wal, the plaid-dressed Frodo waved innocently. "Mother always did like him best," Winky sneered.
Pastor Carter looked blankly for a moment before snapping back to his senses. "Er... right. Jack, tomorrow is the Music Festival. Would you like to attend, please?"
"Of course," the farmer replied with a laugh. "Will I get to play the ocarina again?"
"Pastor Carter rooted int his pockets, looking for the oddly-shaped wind instrument, before finally handing it over. "Now remember, Jack--"
"Be on time," Jack finished for him. "Five o'clock, right? I'll be there!"
"Thank you." The priest turned as trhough to go away, but stopped. "Oh yes, there's one more thing-- I believe Jamal, our new neighbor, will most likely stop by your farm tomorrow. Could you please walk him to the church?"
Jack scratched his head and opened his mouth, but it was Tinky, an orange-clad sprite, who voiced Jack's thoughts. "Yur, vhy does Jack 'ave to go vith Jamal? 'E lives closer to dur church!"
Pastor Carter smiled in his typically enigmatic way. "I believe he has some questions about growing some crops of his own. And Jack here is our town's resident farmer, is he not?"
Jack blushed, while the sprites all rolled their eyes or merely shrugged. "Votever," said Tinky.
"Pastor, that doesn't make sense. Jamal lives on the beach-- there's no soil for him to cultivate on!"
"Well, I wouldn't know anything about that. Jamal did ask the mayor, who in turn mentioned it to me in passing. The mayor did say something about some pots, or something-- he seemed just as confused about it as I."
"Pots, huh?" Jack thought for a minute and then laughed. "Well, there are no sizable crops that come in pots-- I suppose I don't have to worry about competition from him. I'll see you tomorrow then." He waved goodbye, and turned to an orange sprite next to him, which was sipping from a metal flask. "Well, Winky--- would you like to round up the troops and head back to work now?"
"My name's Blinky, not Winky! Winky's the one in purple," Blinky said, highly insulted.
"Oh..... er, sorry," was all Jack could say.
"Get it right, ya jackass!"
[ to be continued ]
Jack the farmer looked up from his work at the sound of the familiar voice. He was in the middle of milking his cows, being assisted by the Harvest Sprites, in his barn. He turned to the nearest sprite, a diminuitive large-nosed thing dressed entirely in purple, from the top of his pointy coned hat, to the hem of his tablecloth-like robes.
"Er....Tinky, was it? Tinky, I need to step out for a minute and see who that is. Do you think you and the others can take over while I'm gone?"
The sprite struggled with the metal cannister full of milk, which was clearly twice his own size. "I'm Winky!," the sprite corrected him. "We's is union members! You don't work, we don't work, chum!"
Jack blinked. "What? Union members?"
"They're the union members," called a voice behind one of the cows. "I wanna be a dentist!"
"Shaddup, Minky!" The purple sprite finally put down his load and looked up at Jack while wiping the sweat off his brow. "'Strue, it's all in our contract, too-tall! Just read the fine print," he added.
Jack was about to say something, but he heard his visitor call out for him once more, and knock on his front door. "Well....alright! But after this, it's right back to work," he said irritably.
The purple-draped sprite whistled shrilly, and around the barn, seven other colorful cones turned to face him. "Break time, boys!"
Jack watched as they each dropped what they were doing and filed out the barn doors. One lit up a cigarette, while the other chugged back a bottle of beer inside a brown paper bag.
"Ah, Jack! There you are," called the voice again.
Pastor Carter walked up to the barn doors, smiling as he watched the Sprites. "My, my! What short little people! Jack, who are they?"
"Short? We ain't short! We's is vertically-challenged!" said one in green.
"Yeah, you're being heightist! Insensitive, that's what you is!" seconded a blue one. "Watch yer mouth, or I'll kick yer ankle!"
"Forgive me," said the priest, still smiling. "Jack, won't you introduce us?"
"Er, sure. Guys, this is Pastor Carter," Jack said, slowly. "Pastor, these are the Harvest Sprites: Tinky, Winky, Blinky, Dinky, Minky, Stinky, Pinky, and Frodo."
"Frodo?" The priest raised an eyebrow.
"'E's adopted," Winky explained through the corner of his mouth. Leaning against the barn wal, the plaid-dressed Frodo waved innocently. "Mother always did like him best," Winky sneered.
Pastor Carter looked blankly for a moment before snapping back to his senses. "Er... right. Jack, tomorrow is the Music Festival. Would you like to attend, please?"
"Of course," the farmer replied with a laugh. "Will I get to play the ocarina again?"
"Pastor Carter rooted int his pockets, looking for the oddly-shaped wind instrument, before finally handing it over. "Now remember, Jack--"
"Be on time," Jack finished for him. "Five o'clock, right? I'll be there!"
"Thank you." The priest turned as trhough to go away, but stopped. "Oh yes, there's one more thing-- I believe Jamal, our new neighbor, will most likely stop by your farm tomorrow. Could you please walk him to the church?"
Jack scratched his head and opened his mouth, but it was Tinky, an orange-clad sprite, who voiced Jack's thoughts. "Yur, vhy does Jack 'ave to go vith Jamal? 'E lives closer to dur church!"
Pastor Carter smiled in his typically enigmatic way. "I believe he has some questions about growing some crops of his own. And Jack here is our town's resident farmer, is he not?"
Jack blushed, while the sprites all rolled their eyes or merely shrugged. "Votever," said Tinky.
"Pastor, that doesn't make sense. Jamal lives on the beach-- there's no soil for him to cultivate on!"
"Well, I wouldn't know anything about that. Jamal did ask the mayor, who in turn mentioned it to me in passing. The mayor did say something about some pots, or something-- he seemed just as confused about it as I."
"Pots, huh?" Jack thought for a minute and then laughed. "Well, there are no sizable crops that come in pots-- I suppose I don't have to worry about competition from him. I'll see you tomorrow then." He waved goodbye, and turned to an orange sprite next to him, which was sipping from a metal flask. "Well, Winky--- would you like to round up the troops and head back to work now?"
"My name's Blinky, not Winky! Winky's the one in purple," Blinky said, highly insulted.
"Oh..... er, sorry," was all Jack could say.
"Get it right, ya jackass!"
[ to be continued ]