Jack finished his chores early that day, thanks to the Harvest Sprites'
hard work, for which he paid them each a freshly-laid chicken egg. He
thought it was more than fair, since, all together they'd gotten a lot
done, but he looked in surprise as a Harvest Sprite tugged at his pants
leg.
"Hold it, comrade," Pinky said after looking dubiously at his wages. "Is this it? Look here, you proletariat upper-class oppressor of the little people...."
"Proletariat? Upper-class?" Jack looked around at his tiny farm.
The angry sprite produced a tiny red book from underneath his pointy hat, as the others gathered around, expecting a free show, as masses are wont to do. "Says here, in the People's Red Book, that I'm entitled to my fair share inna order to survive comf'tably an' securely, as provided for by da state! And that, Too-Tall, is you!" Around him, the other sprites nodded their heads vigorously.
Jack took the book Pinky was waving and thumbed through it. "Little People, huh?"
"We ain't little; we's is vertically-challenged, ya jackass!" called someone from the crowd. More nodding.
"Hey, wait a minute," Jack closed the book and waved it at Pinky, who had crossed his arms across his tiny chest. "This is Mao's Little Red Book! You guys are communist elves?"
"All for one, one for all," Pinky grinned.
"And it's 'sprite,' ya dumb fuck!" corrected te same voice.
Jack looked up angrily. "All right, who keeps saying that?"
The mass parted to reveal a lone sprite in plaid, suddenly looking very sheepish. "What?" asked Frodo the Sprite.
Jack glared at him for a moment, then handed Pinky back his book. "Well.... okay. Starting tomorrow, you guys can each get an egg and one item from the fields," he said, as he watched them look excitedly one another. "And not my horse!," he added, as he caught Blinky's, Tinky's and Dinky's eyes wavering over to the young mare.
"Awwwww!"
Jack dusted his hands and smiled. "Okay, I'll see you guys tomorrow then?"
"Hell no, biotch," shouted Dinky, a blue-clad Sprite. "Tomorrow's a holiday, remember? The Goddess Music Festival?"
Jack snapped his fingers, suddenly recalling Pastor Carter's invitation. "Okay, the day after, then."
"Works for us, Too-Tall." Winky came forward, unrolling a piece of paper. "And at that time, we'd like to discuss a proposition forwarded from our Union...."
"You guys are communist... and you're unionized?"
"Yep! Village Masons of Columbus, chapterhouse 224! Now, about this proposition... we'd like a 401K each, and dental, and life insurance benefits, and--"
"Forget it, Winky. I'm a farmer. I don't even get those!"
"Pardon me," the Sprite continued, nonplussed. "I believe I was talking here. Now-- Pinky needs certain days off, for religious observances, of course, and--"
"Get out!"
[ to be continued ]
"Hold it, comrade," Pinky said after looking dubiously at his wages. "Is this it? Look here, you proletariat upper-class oppressor of the little people...."
"Proletariat? Upper-class?" Jack looked around at his tiny farm.
The angry sprite produced a tiny red book from underneath his pointy hat, as the others gathered around, expecting a free show, as masses are wont to do. "Says here, in the People's Red Book, that I'm entitled to my fair share inna order to survive comf'tably an' securely, as provided for by da state! And that, Too-Tall, is you!" Around him, the other sprites nodded their heads vigorously.
Jack took the book Pinky was waving and thumbed through it. "Little People, huh?"
"We ain't little; we's is vertically-challenged, ya jackass!" called someone from the crowd. More nodding.
"Hey, wait a minute," Jack closed the book and waved it at Pinky, who had crossed his arms across his tiny chest. "This is Mao's Little Red Book! You guys are communist elves?"
"All for one, one for all," Pinky grinned.
"And it's 'sprite,' ya dumb fuck!" corrected te same voice.
Jack looked up angrily. "All right, who keeps saying that?"
The mass parted to reveal a lone sprite in plaid, suddenly looking very sheepish. "What?" asked Frodo the Sprite.
Jack glared at him for a moment, then handed Pinky back his book. "Well.... okay. Starting tomorrow, you guys can each get an egg and one item from the fields," he said, as he watched them look excitedly one another. "And not my horse!," he added, as he caught Blinky's, Tinky's and Dinky's eyes wavering over to the young mare.
"Awwwww!"
Jack dusted his hands and smiled. "Okay, I'll see you guys tomorrow then?"
"Hell no, biotch," shouted Dinky, a blue-clad Sprite. "Tomorrow's a holiday, remember? The Goddess Music Festival?"
Jack snapped his fingers, suddenly recalling Pastor Carter's invitation. "Okay, the day after, then."
"Works for us, Too-Tall." Winky came forward, unrolling a piece of paper. "And at that time, we'd like to discuss a proposition forwarded from our Union...."
"You guys are communist... and you're unionized?"
"Yep! Village Masons of Columbus, chapterhouse 224! Now, about this proposition... we'd like a 401K each, and dental, and life insurance benefits, and--"
"Forget it, Winky. I'm a farmer. I don't even get those!"
"Pardon me," the Sprite continued, nonplussed. "I believe I was talking here. Now-- Pinky needs certain days off, for religious observances, of course, and--"
"Get out!"
[ to be continued ]