Hey everyone (or, the 4 people who have reviewed this so far...) It's been
way too long since I posted, but there have been circumstances, I swear!
Anyway, this is a short chapter, the next one is much longer. I really
enjoyed writing the whole first-person POV thing... it was definitely a
different way of approaching the character.
Now, I know that Roswell isn't the most exciting or popular universe (given the number of crossovers I've seen with it here, its pretty damn far down the list), but bear with me please... things are moving slowly now, but they will pick up within a few chapters. Calm before the storm, and all that.
All Buffy characters are property of Joss Whedon and 20th Cenury Fox. All the Roswell stuff belongs to Jason Katims. No copyright infringement implied or intended.
On with the show!
It was like coming up for air after a long swim. At first all I could see was darkness, and quiet, and this sensation like I was floating in water... and then I was rising upwards, towards a bright pinpoint of light overhead. The light grew brighter, and noises began to ring in my ears, where moments before there had been only peace. The noise got louder and clearer; the light was larger and brighter until it was all I could see as I rushed upwards. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the light became a clear, white patch overhead, and the noise resolved itself into the hum and click of machinery. I realized I could hear myself breathing.
So why was that so unusual to me?
My eyes flickered and I groaned. It was a lovely sound. Very dignified. I hope there wasn't around that I was trying to impress.
Then...
"She's awake."
I was awake? Wow. Coulda fooled me. Not quite ready to admit that much yet.
"Miss? Can you hear me?"
Dammit. There's no fooling them. Well, up and at'em...
"Ugh."
Very articulate. I just love waking up from a coma.
"Urgh... ah... urk!"
"Well, let's give her a minute."
Blinding spears of light burned my eyes every time I blinked. I turned my head to try and get away from it. I raised my hands to try and shield my eyes from the harsh light. It took a little longer than I expected. Guess I'm a little weak.
Where am I?
How long have I been out?
These are things I really, really want to know.
And who are these people standing around me? None of them feel familiar.
My throat is really dry; Goddess, I could use some water. That's probably why I'm not too vocal.
The bright flashes and hazy patches finally started to arrange themselves into things that make sense. Most everything is white; there are some pictures and stuff hanging on the walls. I'm lying in a bed, wearing a very flattering paper gown. There is a rack of gizmos and whatsits next to my bed, with leads and patches clipped on to my fingers, arms, and chest.
Yep, it's a hospital.
And the people... now that I can actually sorta see, I can probably figure out who they are. The older man is probably a doctor. The slim, pretty brunette with the rosy white aura went with the compassionate, idealistic mind I had felt earlier. I like her already.
The guy standing next to her with the short black hair and intense expression - his aura was kinda wierd. I can't really place why it seemed that way... just one of those things, I guess.
I blinked a few more times, and more people appeared. Two other adults were standing behind the girl... they must be her parents. Her father was angry in the way you can only get with family; that not-quite-red tinge to his aura simmering under conflicting emotions of love, fear, and pride.
"Ma'am?" The doctor was trying to get my attention. Unfortunately, I really wasn't sure if I could talk. After a few moments, I was able to scratch out a response.
"Thirsty..."
"Here." He passed me a glass of water from the table, which I drained gratefully. Moving my arm was a supreme effort - it felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds.
"Ma'am, if you're feeling up to it, there's some information I'd like to get."
"Uh... sure. Like what?"
"Well, first of all..." the doctor picked up a clipboard, " what's your name?"
"It's..." I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came. Shocked, I tried again, but this most basic of facts eluded me. Oh no. Oh please, Goddess, no.
I squeezed my eyes shut and desperately cast my thoughts inward. I pictured the long, dark halls of memory, stacked high with images and sounds, recollections of past events. But the shelves at the back, in the deepest part of my mind, were empty.
Oh, shit.
This is really, really not cool.
How could my identity just be... gone? I still remembered all kinds of things - I could tell you who the President was, the capitals of all fifty states, the proper ratio of belladonna to saint johns' wort in a scrying spell... but no clue as to my own friggin name!
I shook off my reverie and realized all these people were still looking at me expectantly. A tear welled up in my eyes.
"I don't know," I whispered.
I could feel their shock, sympathy, and pity. The black-haired girl in particular felt a sense of pain and loss so strong... she was a rare person, to feel so strongly for others.
Then I realized what I was doing - spying on others feelings! Mortified, I closed off my mind to them, and the bright auras faded to pale shadows.
The doctor spoke. "You... don't remember your name?"
I shook my head no. The tears were threatening behind my eyes again. I blinked them back. I had to be strong, for myself and for these strangers who showed so much love and concern.
Strong like an Amazon.
"Do you remember anything else?" The doctor said gently.
"Sure... I know lots of stuff. Just nothing about me." My voice was a little more bitter than I thought it would be. Being stoic is hard.
The doctor sat down in a chair by the bed and took off his glasses, cleaning them with a handkerchief. The motion was strangely familiar to me. Goddess, this was frustrating!
"Well, do you know where we are?"
I thought for a second... nope. I shook my head.
"Okay. I believe some introductions are in order as well. I'm Doctor Elliot Monroe. This is Jeff and Amanda Parker, and their daughter Liz." He indicated the older man and woman and black-haired girl, who waved her hand a little. "And this is Max Evans." The solemn-looking teen nodded.
"This is Roswell, New Mexico. You're at Roswell General Emergency Clinic."
Roswell? Wasn't that... alien town? Alien spaceship supposed to have landed here in the forties... now the whole towns economy was based off the alien theme. Kinda wierd, really. I didn't think I would mention that, though. These people probably heard something to that effect from everyone who didn't live in Roswell. Well, can't say that... for all I know, I'm from here!
"Roswell? How did I get here? Do I live here? I just remember waking up, and then all of you... but if I was just waking up then I'd be home in bed and I'm not... and I think I should shut up now." Wow, do I normally babble this much?
The doctor smiled shook his head. "No, you don't live here. We were really kinda hoping you could help us with that - you see, Max and Liz found you unconscious in the desert earlier this evening."
Eh? They did what?
"Huh? I what?"
"We found you a ways off the road, south of town. We're not sure how you got there either." Liz' voice was calm and soft, alost musical. I liked her already.
"I guess that's why I'm in the hospital, then. Um... when is it? Like, what... what day?"
The doctor looked at his watch. "June twenty-third, 2003."
Summer equinox. That really didn't tell me much, considering I didn't know how long I'd been out. I looked around. That's when I noticed the paper hospital gown I was wearing.
"Um... where are my clothes?"
Liz turned a funny shade of pink. "You... didn't have any."
I'm sure I turned much better colors than her. Max, thankfully, looked away - looking at his eyes would only make me think about him seeing me all naked and conked out. He was really very considerate, I could tell. But that didn't change the fact that I had been lying in the desert naked! I blushed again at the thought.
"Oh. Um... uh... yeah." Now Liz' parents were giving Max the evil eye. He spoke for the first time, his voice quiet but full of authority. I could tell he was used to being listened to.
"I'll go get the deputy. I'm sure he'll want to talk with her." With that, he left the room.
In the uncomfortable silence that followed, the parents were having a furious whispered discussion in the corner, and the doctor - Monroe, his name was - busied himself with paperwork. Liz was left fidgeting at the bedside. She was wearing white shorts and a grey top. I watched her tuck her fine black hair behind her ear, and felt an odd pang of emotion. That motion seemed familiar, somehow... and not knowing why was killing me inside.
Liz smiled shyly and spoke in a quiet tone. "How are you doing?"
"I'm... I don't know. I'm so confused! I don't know who I am, or where I am, or anybody around, or why I feel so sad when I see you tuck your hair behind your ear... I should remember something! I feel like I know things, but they just aren't there..." The waterworks were in full effect now. Hot tears ran down my cheeks, my throat clamped up and I couldn't talk anymore.
Liz sat there for a bit, watching me with a sad expression as I quietly cried. Then she reached out and took my hand in hers, and spoke softly to me.
"Don't worry. It'll be okay."
And, I believed her.
Her voice cut right through all of my anger and pain, laid the core of me bare, made me think that no matter what, things would work out. I felt her strength - not physical, but spiritual - and was comforted by it. My tears stopped, and I smiled the way you do when you feel that, despite all that's happened, everything will turn out okay.
"Hi," she said. "I'm Liz. It's nice to meet you."
I was still wearing that foolishly happy grin when I blinked back some tears and introduced myself.
"Thank you, Liz. I'm... the mystery girl."
Liz frowned. "Yeah, you are. But, you need a name."
"A name?" Yeah, dummy. I do.
"What would you like to be called?"
"I - I don't know. That's funny."
"Why?"
"I think most people would jump at the chance to name themselves."
Liz laughed softly. "Yeah, you're right. Do you have anything in mind?"
I went over some possibilities in my head. Jennifer, Julie, Joan, Elizabeth, Hilary, Katy, Kristy... I couldn't seem to settle on anything that seemed appropriate; none of those names reflected me - or, at least, the parts of me I remember.
"No... I haven't. Do... do you have any suggestions?"
Liz was thoughtful. "Yeah. I do. I think... you look kinda like a Sarah."
Sarah. The sound fit well, I think.
"I... I like it. I'll be Sarah."
She gave me a beaming smile, one that made me feel happy inside. Here was one person whom I could trust. I think I made a friend today.
Her parents came over, having finished their discussion. Her mother put a hand on Liz' shoulder. Liz looked up to see what she wanted.
"Honey, we've made a decision. Since our insurance is already paying for this girls' medical care, we could probably make some... arrangements, to keep her out of a shelter or state home."
Did I just hear that right? These people were going to take me into their home? Oh sweet, merciful Goddess, I think I might start crying again. Truly, there is still goodness in some peoples heart.
So... even though I don't know who I am, I have a name, a friend, and a home. Welcome to this world, Sarah. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Now, I know that Roswell isn't the most exciting or popular universe (given the number of crossovers I've seen with it here, its pretty damn far down the list), but bear with me please... things are moving slowly now, but they will pick up within a few chapters. Calm before the storm, and all that.
All Buffy characters are property of Joss Whedon and 20th Cenury Fox. All the Roswell stuff belongs to Jason Katims. No copyright infringement implied or intended.
On with the show!
It was like coming up for air after a long swim. At first all I could see was darkness, and quiet, and this sensation like I was floating in water... and then I was rising upwards, towards a bright pinpoint of light overhead. The light grew brighter, and noises began to ring in my ears, where moments before there had been only peace. The noise got louder and clearer; the light was larger and brighter until it was all I could see as I rushed upwards. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the light became a clear, white patch overhead, and the noise resolved itself into the hum and click of machinery. I realized I could hear myself breathing.
So why was that so unusual to me?
My eyes flickered and I groaned. It was a lovely sound. Very dignified. I hope there wasn't around that I was trying to impress.
Then...
"She's awake."
I was awake? Wow. Coulda fooled me. Not quite ready to admit that much yet.
"Miss? Can you hear me?"
Dammit. There's no fooling them. Well, up and at'em...
"Ugh."
Very articulate. I just love waking up from a coma.
"Urgh... ah... urk!"
"Well, let's give her a minute."
Blinding spears of light burned my eyes every time I blinked. I turned my head to try and get away from it. I raised my hands to try and shield my eyes from the harsh light. It took a little longer than I expected. Guess I'm a little weak.
Where am I?
How long have I been out?
These are things I really, really want to know.
And who are these people standing around me? None of them feel familiar.
My throat is really dry; Goddess, I could use some water. That's probably why I'm not too vocal.
The bright flashes and hazy patches finally started to arrange themselves into things that make sense. Most everything is white; there are some pictures and stuff hanging on the walls. I'm lying in a bed, wearing a very flattering paper gown. There is a rack of gizmos and whatsits next to my bed, with leads and patches clipped on to my fingers, arms, and chest.
Yep, it's a hospital.
And the people... now that I can actually sorta see, I can probably figure out who they are. The older man is probably a doctor. The slim, pretty brunette with the rosy white aura went with the compassionate, idealistic mind I had felt earlier. I like her already.
The guy standing next to her with the short black hair and intense expression - his aura was kinda wierd. I can't really place why it seemed that way... just one of those things, I guess.
I blinked a few more times, and more people appeared. Two other adults were standing behind the girl... they must be her parents. Her father was angry in the way you can only get with family; that not-quite-red tinge to his aura simmering under conflicting emotions of love, fear, and pride.
"Ma'am?" The doctor was trying to get my attention. Unfortunately, I really wasn't sure if I could talk. After a few moments, I was able to scratch out a response.
"Thirsty..."
"Here." He passed me a glass of water from the table, which I drained gratefully. Moving my arm was a supreme effort - it felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds.
"Ma'am, if you're feeling up to it, there's some information I'd like to get."
"Uh... sure. Like what?"
"Well, first of all..." the doctor picked up a clipboard, " what's your name?"
"It's..." I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came. Shocked, I tried again, but this most basic of facts eluded me. Oh no. Oh please, Goddess, no.
I squeezed my eyes shut and desperately cast my thoughts inward. I pictured the long, dark halls of memory, stacked high with images and sounds, recollections of past events. But the shelves at the back, in the deepest part of my mind, were empty.
Oh, shit.
This is really, really not cool.
How could my identity just be... gone? I still remembered all kinds of things - I could tell you who the President was, the capitals of all fifty states, the proper ratio of belladonna to saint johns' wort in a scrying spell... but no clue as to my own friggin name!
I shook off my reverie and realized all these people were still looking at me expectantly. A tear welled up in my eyes.
"I don't know," I whispered.
I could feel their shock, sympathy, and pity. The black-haired girl in particular felt a sense of pain and loss so strong... she was a rare person, to feel so strongly for others.
Then I realized what I was doing - spying on others feelings! Mortified, I closed off my mind to them, and the bright auras faded to pale shadows.
The doctor spoke. "You... don't remember your name?"
I shook my head no. The tears were threatening behind my eyes again. I blinked them back. I had to be strong, for myself and for these strangers who showed so much love and concern.
Strong like an Amazon.
"Do you remember anything else?" The doctor said gently.
"Sure... I know lots of stuff. Just nothing about me." My voice was a little more bitter than I thought it would be. Being stoic is hard.
The doctor sat down in a chair by the bed and took off his glasses, cleaning them with a handkerchief. The motion was strangely familiar to me. Goddess, this was frustrating!
"Well, do you know where we are?"
I thought for a second... nope. I shook my head.
"Okay. I believe some introductions are in order as well. I'm Doctor Elliot Monroe. This is Jeff and Amanda Parker, and their daughter Liz." He indicated the older man and woman and black-haired girl, who waved her hand a little. "And this is Max Evans." The solemn-looking teen nodded.
"This is Roswell, New Mexico. You're at Roswell General Emergency Clinic."
Roswell? Wasn't that... alien town? Alien spaceship supposed to have landed here in the forties... now the whole towns economy was based off the alien theme. Kinda wierd, really. I didn't think I would mention that, though. These people probably heard something to that effect from everyone who didn't live in Roswell. Well, can't say that... for all I know, I'm from here!
"Roswell? How did I get here? Do I live here? I just remember waking up, and then all of you... but if I was just waking up then I'd be home in bed and I'm not... and I think I should shut up now." Wow, do I normally babble this much?
The doctor smiled shook his head. "No, you don't live here. We were really kinda hoping you could help us with that - you see, Max and Liz found you unconscious in the desert earlier this evening."
Eh? They did what?
"Huh? I what?"
"We found you a ways off the road, south of town. We're not sure how you got there either." Liz' voice was calm and soft, alost musical. I liked her already.
"I guess that's why I'm in the hospital, then. Um... when is it? Like, what... what day?"
The doctor looked at his watch. "June twenty-third, 2003."
Summer equinox. That really didn't tell me much, considering I didn't know how long I'd been out. I looked around. That's when I noticed the paper hospital gown I was wearing.
"Um... where are my clothes?"
Liz turned a funny shade of pink. "You... didn't have any."
I'm sure I turned much better colors than her. Max, thankfully, looked away - looking at his eyes would only make me think about him seeing me all naked and conked out. He was really very considerate, I could tell. But that didn't change the fact that I had been lying in the desert naked! I blushed again at the thought.
"Oh. Um... uh... yeah." Now Liz' parents were giving Max the evil eye. He spoke for the first time, his voice quiet but full of authority. I could tell he was used to being listened to.
"I'll go get the deputy. I'm sure he'll want to talk with her." With that, he left the room.
In the uncomfortable silence that followed, the parents were having a furious whispered discussion in the corner, and the doctor - Monroe, his name was - busied himself with paperwork. Liz was left fidgeting at the bedside. She was wearing white shorts and a grey top. I watched her tuck her fine black hair behind her ear, and felt an odd pang of emotion. That motion seemed familiar, somehow... and not knowing why was killing me inside.
Liz smiled shyly and spoke in a quiet tone. "How are you doing?"
"I'm... I don't know. I'm so confused! I don't know who I am, or where I am, or anybody around, or why I feel so sad when I see you tuck your hair behind your ear... I should remember something! I feel like I know things, but they just aren't there..." The waterworks were in full effect now. Hot tears ran down my cheeks, my throat clamped up and I couldn't talk anymore.
Liz sat there for a bit, watching me with a sad expression as I quietly cried. Then she reached out and took my hand in hers, and spoke softly to me.
"Don't worry. It'll be okay."
And, I believed her.
Her voice cut right through all of my anger and pain, laid the core of me bare, made me think that no matter what, things would work out. I felt her strength - not physical, but spiritual - and was comforted by it. My tears stopped, and I smiled the way you do when you feel that, despite all that's happened, everything will turn out okay.
"Hi," she said. "I'm Liz. It's nice to meet you."
I was still wearing that foolishly happy grin when I blinked back some tears and introduced myself.
"Thank you, Liz. I'm... the mystery girl."
Liz frowned. "Yeah, you are. But, you need a name."
"A name?" Yeah, dummy. I do.
"What would you like to be called?"
"I - I don't know. That's funny."
"Why?"
"I think most people would jump at the chance to name themselves."
Liz laughed softly. "Yeah, you're right. Do you have anything in mind?"
I went over some possibilities in my head. Jennifer, Julie, Joan, Elizabeth, Hilary, Katy, Kristy... I couldn't seem to settle on anything that seemed appropriate; none of those names reflected me - or, at least, the parts of me I remember.
"No... I haven't. Do... do you have any suggestions?"
Liz was thoughtful. "Yeah. I do. I think... you look kinda like a Sarah."
Sarah. The sound fit well, I think.
"I... I like it. I'll be Sarah."
She gave me a beaming smile, one that made me feel happy inside. Here was one person whom I could trust. I think I made a friend today.
Her parents came over, having finished their discussion. Her mother put a hand on Liz' shoulder. Liz looked up to see what she wanted.
"Honey, we've made a decision. Since our insurance is already paying for this girls' medical care, we could probably make some... arrangements, to keep her out of a shelter or state home."
Did I just hear that right? These people were going to take me into their home? Oh sweet, merciful Goddess, I think I might start crying again. Truly, there is still goodness in some peoples heart.
So... even though I don't know who I am, I have a name, a friend, and a home. Welcome to this world, Sarah. I hope you find what you're looking for.