AN: I fully apologize about how strange this is getting. Most of my attention is focused on my other story, so I'm being a little less random than usual. Oh well.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is Rowling's and anything stupid is mine. Got it?
~~~~~~
"Hedwig? Er... I have something to tell you."
The disgruntled Hedwig peered over her shoulder with only the slightest amount of interest.
Harry's heart started pounding in his ears. He'd never told anyone - not even Rowling. Confessing this might bring back his horrible childhood nightmares.
But still, he had to do it for the sake of - well, for the sake of golden snitches everywhere. *author surprises herself*
And plus, Hedwig wouldn't tell anyone.
"I'm allergic to watermelon."
Before Harry could see Hedwig's reaction to this, he felt himself hurled out of the room and across time and space to a place...
a place...
a place with lots of books. A library!
He made it. The sign above him read, "Library for Worn Out Troublemakers who blah blah blah, oh sod it. If you went through the trouble of finding your way here, you should at least know where the heck you are. Information desk this way -----"
Harry asked the librarian (whose name was Ida) where he could find a book that would teach him how to restore people sealed inside of enchanted maps into the real world even if they're dead. The librarian gave her pet pig a small piece of watermelon (which made Harry cringe) and directed him to a book entitled, "Frosted Goat Monkeys Part One"
Shrugging, and wishing he hadn't been so inconsiderate of Bartholemew's feelings, Harry opened the book. He also realized he hadn't brushed his teeth, and his breath vaguely smelled like the Chamber of Secrets.
Ida, the crazed librarian, stood up and started wandering around muttering, "What IS that smell?"
Harry ignored Ida and grinned broadly when he found exactly what he was looking for.
He quickly dashed out of the library, forgetting to check out the book at the front desk. A deafening alarm that resembled mutant crickets sounded, and the librarian chased Harry like mad. "Get back here, young man! In the name of flying piggies everywhere!"
He ran like his life depended on it (and it probably did) and upon leaving the library, he realized he had no idea where he was or how to get back to Privet Drive. There were safari muggles all around him and gazelles prancing and zebras grazing, and a lion right next to him, ready to pounce, and the sputtering evil librarian running around in circles with her hands in the air.
Harry desperately tried to apparate even though he didn't know how.
What he saw next both befuddled him beyond reason and made perfect sense all at once.
Right ahead of him, amidst the chaos, floating in the air, in the heart of Africa was a small cow - tattered and torn.
"Bartholemew!" Harry cried with relief.
He grabbed onto the toy cow's half-ripped tail, and flew away with it, narrowly missing the mental librarian's reach.
~~~~~~~
AN: Well, it's official - Pres. Bush has declared Southern California a "federal disaster area". That oughtta keep the tourists away. (hehe, just kidding) On the bright side, the college is closed, the high school's closed, and I HAVE TIME TO WRITE MORE! *does a funky celebrating dance* I guess I shouldn't be celebrating with all the ashes swirling around outside and houses burning. My brother just about went berserck when he went out to his brand new sports car this moring and saw it covered in soot. Haha!
Sorry the chapter was short, hope you liked it flyingpiggy! (the evil librarian, mwahahahahaha!)
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is Rowling's and anything stupid is mine. Got it?
~~~~~~
"Hedwig? Er... I have something to tell you."
The disgruntled Hedwig peered over her shoulder with only the slightest amount of interest.
Harry's heart started pounding in his ears. He'd never told anyone - not even Rowling. Confessing this might bring back his horrible childhood nightmares.
But still, he had to do it for the sake of - well, for the sake of golden snitches everywhere. *author surprises herself*
And plus, Hedwig wouldn't tell anyone.
"I'm allergic to watermelon."
Before Harry could see Hedwig's reaction to this, he felt himself hurled out of the room and across time and space to a place...
a place...
a place with lots of books. A library!
He made it. The sign above him read, "Library for Worn Out Troublemakers who blah blah blah, oh sod it. If you went through the trouble of finding your way here, you should at least know where the heck you are. Information desk this way -----"
Harry asked the librarian (whose name was Ida) where he could find a book that would teach him how to restore people sealed inside of enchanted maps into the real world even if they're dead. The librarian gave her pet pig a small piece of watermelon (which made Harry cringe) and directed him to a book entitled, "Frosted Goat Monkeys Part One"
Shrugging, and wishing he hadn't been so inconsiderate of Bartholemew's feelings, Harry opened the book. He also realized he hadn't brushed his teeth, and his breath vaguely smelled like the Chamber of Secrets.
Ida, the crazed librarian, stood up and started wandering around muttering, "What IS that smell?"
Harry ignored Ida and grinned broadly when he found exactly what he was looking for.
He quickly dashed out of the library, forgetting to check out the book at the front desk. A deafening alarm that resembled mutant crickets sounded, and the librarian chased Harry like mad. "Get back here, young man! In the name of flying piggies everywhere!"
He ran like his life depended on it (and it probably did) and upon leaving the library, he realized he had no idea where he was or how to get back to Privet Drive. There were safari muggles all around him and gazelles prancing and zebras grazing, and a lion right next to him, ready to pounce, and the sputtering evil librarian running around in circles with her hands in the air.
Harry desperately tried to apparate even though he didn't know how.
What he saw next both befuddled him beyond reason and made perfect sense all at once.
Right ahead of him, amidst the chaos, floating in the air, in the heart of Africa was a small cow - tattered and torn.
"Bartholemew!" Harry cried with relief.
He grabbed onto the toy cow's half-ripped tail, and flew away with it, narrowly missing the mental librarian's reach.
~~~~~~~
AN: Well, it's official - Pres. Bush has declared Southern California a "federal disaster area". That oughtta keep the tourists away. (hehe, just kidding) On the bright side, the college is closed, the high school's closed, and I HAVE TIME TO WRITE MORE! *does a funky celebrating dance* I guess I shouldn't be celebrating with all the ashes swirling around outside and houses burning. My brother just about went berserck when he went out to his brand new sports car this moring and saw it covered in soot. Haha!
Sorry the chapter was short, hope you liked it flyingpiggy! (the evil librarian, mwahahahahaha!)