It was two months before Christmas 2004 and Billy Mack was sitting in a London recording studio preparing to record his second novelty Christmas single.
"Joe," said Billy in an angry tone, "I don't give a toss what you say, I am not singing this."
"Come on Bill we'll make millions," replied Joe.
"But we already made millions last year."
"Tough, you've already agreed to do this."
"But these lyrics are complete crap, and I don't rap."
"Yeah well…" Joe began to explain but was cut off by Billy.
"And it's a fucking Five song."
"We changed the lyrics"
"Which makes all the difference."
"Yes well…we wanted a song that would appeal to young people."
"Joe you fucking moron, young people will hate this, anyone with ears will hate this!"
" Trust me Bill, I was right about the last one," Joe paused, "now quit complaining and sing the fucking song."
Billy grudgingly put on his headphones, "Oh Christ," he thought to himself, "this is suicide."
The music (if you could really call it music) began to play and Billy began to rap.
"Santa's comin down baby,
he'll bring you presents maybe,
carol singers yellin pay me,
he's comin down baby."
Staring angrily at Joe Billy growled "I fucking hate you." Joe just smiled back evilly.
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The lyrics are to If Ya Getting down by Five, they were written by myself and Avidfan. Not willingly (I want to make that very clear) we were forced to in music class.