Harry woke up at three in the morning and left a note to the Dursleys saying, "I may very well be a criminal - must attend hearing to find out."
Sirius, James, and Remus decided since they had nowhere else to go, that they'd go with him.
"Hold on," Harry said as he was about to step out the door. He dashed upstairs, and came back down carrying an invisibility cloak.
James squeaked. He ran towards Harry, and snatched the cloak out of his hands. "My cloak! I missed you!" He hugged the fabric and spun around in circles. "Did you miss me?" he asked the cloak. It didn't answer, but James couldn't care less. Harry, Remus, and Sirius stood back in alarm and warily ushered James out the door.
"So, where are we going?" Srius asked cheerily.
"I thought you, of all people, would know," Remus said.
"We're going to the Ministry of Magic," Harry said gloomily.
Sirius's eyes widened in panic. "No! They'll take me away! AWAY!"
"Padfoot," James said. "You're dead. Why would they arrest you?"
"Right you are." Sirius smiled again.
"Stupid dog," James muttered.
"Stupid furry woodland creature."
"Wait," Remus said, stopping in his tracks. "Stop. Stop, stop stop, stop!"
"Why?"
"This isn't supposed to have a plot!"
"And what's wrong with a plot?" James asked, offended.
"Haha, plot's a funny word!" Sirius said, sticking his finger in the air. "Plot! Plot! Plot!"
Harry just shook his head miserably, and walked on in silence.
Surprisingly enough, they walked the whole way. When they finally arrived, they were swarmed by papparazzi. Stupid questions were shot at Harry such as, "Will they take your scar away?", "Did you really kiss Cho?", "Did you watch Jeopardy last night?", and "What's the flying speed of an African swallow?"
"African or European?" Sirius asked intelligently (quoting Monty Python, of course.)
"Er..."
"Stupid idiot!" James cried. "They just said African! And besides, they were asking Harry, not you."
"And what's your name?" one female reporter asked Sirius. James kicked him. "Jimbo," he replied, holding his injured leg. "Jimbo Napkin."
"By the way, where is Harry, anyways?" Remus asked, looking around.
The papparazzi screamed in unison, and the rabid fans started squealing with terror when they found that Harry was already inside. Due to their numbers, they couldn't all get inside the phone booth that led to the Ministry building. So, instead, they pelted eachother with bananas and fake earrings. After a few minutes, they finally left, and James, Sirius and Remus were eating popcorn. Harry came out along with another wizard behind him, grinning broadly.
"They let me off!" he exclaimed.
"Why would they do a thing like that?" Sirius asked. "You're guilty!"
James and Remus both smacked him upside the head.
"Because Fudge died in his sleep! Spontaneous combustion!"
"What?!?!"
"That's right," came the wizard's voice from behind Harry. "He was watching Jeopardy, choked on a pretzel, and just blew up right on the spot."
"Who are you?" James asked, his eyes wide like a little kid that just swallowed a weasel.
"Remus Lupin."
Remus fell over. (Not that one, the other one.)
"Who's that?" Remus asked (the one still standing up).
"Remus Lupin."
Remus died. (The one still standing, who - clearly - is no longer standing)
"Hey! You killed me!" the sixteen year old Remus cried.
James and Sirius looked at eachother, grinning. "How could we? We're dead."
Harry hit his head with a pedestrian. "I'm confused."
"I'm not dead yet!" the assumed-dead-thirty-ish Remus said, face down in the dirt.
"Yes you are!" Harry whispered harshly.
"I'm getting better." (please excuse the constant Monty Python references. I really can't help it.)
"But you're dead!" Harry said, quite lamely.
James and Sirius whipped out their scripts. "Nope. He's not."
"What?!"
"Yay!" Remus said, clapping his hands. "Two of me! He's like a twin except taller! And he looks like an old fogey."
Lupin scowled at himself.
James and Sirius put away their scripts, Harry sneezed, Remus poked Lupin, and Lupin poked Remus. Then, there was silence. Complete and total silence. Really really silent quietness. It was so quiet, you could hear the ants on the ground singing the national anthem. Well, almost.
~~
kittyhawk: I'm bored. I don't know what to write now!
Rowling: Can I take over?
kittyhawk: *rolls eyes* sure.
Rowling: *squeals*
~~
All of a sudden!! There was a pretty little whispering veil. Bellatrix apparated out of nowhere, threw an antelope at Sirius, and both the antelope and the wizard fell through the veil. Harry sobbed, "Not again!"
~~
kittyhawk: *roughly takes quill from Rowling* Meanie!
Rowling: Hey! It was only a joke...
kittyhawk: Don't you have a couple books to write?
Rowling: *looking sad* Oh. Crap.
kittyhawk: *grins*
*Eraser squeaks! Squeakie! Squeakie!*
kittyhawk: Let's try that again, now, shall we?
~~
All of a sudden!! Bellatrix popped up out of nowhere! Along with Voldie! Sirius brought out a giant sword and killed them both.
*Eraser squeaks*
All of a sudden!! Bellatrix popped up out of nowhere (it's called apparating in case you were wondering) and threw an ant at Sirius. The poor ant dropped to the ground and hurt his left foot.
"Awwwwwwww!" James said. "Poor little ant!" He then vowed to himself he would nurse it back to health.
*Eraser squeaks*
All of a sudden!! Belatrix threw an aunt at Sirius! It was Aunt Petunia, actually. It didn't hurt much, because she weighs less than a tissue. Then, Sirius brough Aunt Marge out of his pocket and threw it at Bellatrix. This was a fatal blow, amd they never heard from little Trixie again.
And there was much rejoicing. (Again, Monty Python)
And James started an ant farm, though he didn't know why.
Sirius, James, and Remus decided since they had nowhere else to go, that they'd go with him.
"Hold on," Harry said as he was about to step out the door. He dashed upstairs, and came back down carrying an invisibility cloak.
James squeaked. He ran towards Harry, and snatched the cloak out of his hands. "My cloak! I missed you!" He hugged the fabric and spun around in circles. "Did you miss me?" he asked the cloak. It didn't answer, but James couldn't care less. Harry, Remus, and Sirius stood back in alarm and warily ushered James out the door.
"So, where are we going?" Srius asked cheerily.
"I thought you, of all people, would know," Remus said.
"We're going to the Ministry of Magic," Harry said gloomily.
Sirius's eyes widened in panic. "No! They'll take me away! AWAY!"
"Padfoot," James said. "You're dead. Why would they arrest you?"
"Right you are." Sirius smiled again.
"Stupid dog," James muttered.
"Stupid furry woodland creature."
"Wait," Remus said, stopping in his tracks. "Stop. Stop, stop stop, stop!"
"Why?"
"This isn't supposed to have a plot!"
"And what's wrong with a plot?" James asked, offended.
"Haha, plot's a funny word!" Sirius said, sticking his finger in the air. "Plot! Plot! Plot!"
Harry just shook his head miserably, and walked on in silence.
Surprisingly enough, they walked the whole way. When they finally arrived, they were swarmed by papparazzi. Stupid questions were shot at Harry such as, "Will they take your scar away?", "Did you really kiss Cho?", "Did you watch Jeopardy last night?", and "What's the flying speed of an African swallow?"
"African or European?" Sirius asked intelligently (quoting Monty Python, of course.)
"Er..."
"Stupid idiot!" James cried. "They just said African! And besides, they were asking Harry, not you."
"And what's your name?" one female reporter asked Sirius. James kicked him. "Jimbo," he replied, holding his injured leg. "Jimbo Napkin."
"By the way, where is Harry, anyways?" Remus asked, looking around.
The papparazzi screamed in unison, and the rabid fans started squealing with terror when they found that Harry was already inside. Due to their numbers, they couldn't all get inside the phone booth that led to the Ministry building. So, instead, they pelted eachother with bananas and fake earrings. After a few minutes, they finally left, and James, Sirius and Remus were eating popcorn. Harry came out along with another wizard behind him, grinning broadly.
"They let me off!" he exclaimed.
"Why would they do a thing like that?" Sirius asked. "You're guilty!"
James and Remus both smacked him upside the head.
"Because Fudge died in his sleep! Spontaneous combustion!"
"What?!?!"
"That's right," came the wizard's voice from behind Harry. "He was watching Jeopardy, choked on a pretzel, and just blew up right on the spot."
"Who are you?" James asked, his eyes wide like a little kid that just swallowed a weasel.
"Remus Lupin."
Remus fell over. (Not that one, the other one.)
"Who's that?" Remus asked (the one still standing up).
"Remus Lupin."
Remus died. (The one still standing, who - clearly - is no longer standing)
"Hey! You killed me!" the sixteen year old Remus cried.
James and Sirius looked at eachother, grinning. "How could we? We're dead."
Harry hit his head with a pedestrian. "I'm confused."
"I'm not dead yet!" the assumed-dead-thirty-ish Remus said, face down in the dirt.
"Yes you are!" Harry whispered harshly.
"I'm getting better." (please excuse the constant Monty Python references. I really can't help it.)
"But you're dead!" Harry said, quite lamely.
James and Sirius whipped out their scripts. "Nope. He's not."
"What?!"
"Yay!" Remus said, clapping his hands. "Two of me! He's like a twin except taller! And he looks like an old fogey."
Lupin scowled at himself.
James and Sirius put away their scripts, Harry sneezed, Remus poked Lupin, and Lupin poked Remus. Then, there was silence. Complete and total silence. Really really silent quietness. It was so quiet, you could hear the ants on the ground singing the national anthem. Well, almost.
~~
kittyhawk: I'm bored. I don't know what to write now!
Rowling: Can I take over?
kittyhawk: *rolls eyes* sure.
Rowling: *squeals*
~~
All of a sudden!! There was a pretty little whispering veil. Bellatrix apparated out of nowhere, threw an antelope at Sirius, and both the antelope and the wizard fell through the veil. Harry sobbed, "Not again!"
~~
kittyhawk: *roughly takes quill from Rowling* Meanie!
Rowling: Hey! It was only a joke...
kittyhawk: Don't you have a couple books to write?
Rowling: *looking sad* Oh. Crap.
kittyhawk: *grins*
*Eraser squeaks! Squeakie! Squeakie!*
kittyhawk: Let's try that again, now, shall we?
~~
All of a sudden!! Bellatrix popped up out of nowhere! Along with Voldie! Sirius brought out a giant sword and killed them both.
*Eraser squeaks*
All of a sudden!! Bellatrix popped up out of nowhere (it's called apparating in case you were wondering) and threw an ant at Sirius. The poor ant dropped to the ground and hurt his left foot.
"Awwwwwwww!" James said. "Poor little ant!" He then vowed to himself he would nurse it back to health.
*Eraser squeaks*
All of a sudden!! Belatrix threw an aunt at Sirius! It was Aunt Petunia, actually. It didn't hurt much, because she weighs less than a tissue. Then, Sirius brough Aunt Marge out of his pocket and threw it at Bellatrix. This was a fatal blow, amd they never heard from little Trixie again.
And there was much rejoicing. (Again, Monty Python)
And James started an ant farm, though he didn't know why.