Chapter 10: After Much Ponderment... the J in RJ Lupin.
"Pattycake, pattycake..."
James looked miserably over to where Remus and Remus were having jolly good fun. "That looks like jolly good fun."
Sirius held his hands up. "Pattycake?"
James gasped tralumferously. "Never!" he hissed.
Harry stood up from his place by the trash can. "You people do realize we look like a bunch of idiots here camped out in the middle of the street, don't you?"
Remus (who knows which one, the shorter one just had a growth spurt and the older one used that nice age-defying Oil of Olay lotion) looked around bewilderedly. "This is a street? I thought it was the path of life."
Sirius spit out a sailboat, an James patted him on the back.
"Great Scott, Harry," one of the Remuses said suddenly.
"That's the old one," James muttered.
"School started a month ago!"
Harry sneezed in shock. "It did?"
kittyhawk: that can't be right.
"It is," Lupin said matter-of-factly
kittyhawk: that's not how I wrote it.
Rowling: Who made you the author?
kittyhawk: uh oh.
Rowling: Voldemort's gone!
Remus frowned like a monkey that hasn't eaten for weeks. "Isn't that a good thing?"
Rowling: No. I needed him to kill you off.
"No!"
Rowling: Yes.
"No!"
Rowling: Yes.
"Villian!" Harry cried.
Rowling: No.
"Yes!"
Rowling: No.
kittyhawk: Darn, the plot's starting to thicken. There shouldn't be a plot!
"The clouds are colliding!" Sirius yelled in awe, pointing up towards the sky.
kittyhawk: That's better.
"Who needs school anyway?" James proclaimed.
"I do!" Harry replied.
"Come on, son, be a slacker like me! You've inherited my millions, haven't you?"
"But I need a good education so I can pursue the career that will forever alter my adult life!"
"You're quoting McGonagall, aren't you?"
McGonagall blushed. "Why, thank you Harry."
"I was not!"
"What's this career you pursue, anyway?"
Ron suddenly showed up. "Everyone knows he wants to be a Quidditch player!" he said, rolling his eyes.
Hermione protested. "He does not, Ron! He wants to be an Auror, don't you Harry?"
"Er... shouldn't you be at school?"
"I could ask the same of you."
"We got to go on a field trip because we won Bingo," Ron said.
Hermione frowned. "I thought we were experimentally ditching in order for some underaged fanfiction writer to make us rebelliously fall madly in love despite our age and the fact that we should be good little kids paying attention in class."
"That, too."
"We'd better leave," Ron said. "Before some demented blockhead starts a slash about me and you."
Harry pelted Ron with a large canteloupe. "Sicko!"
"By the way, what is this career you pursue?" Sirius asked.
Harry mumbled something inaudible.
"Sorry, didn't catch that."
"He said something about bored slushies."
"I WILL BE THE LORD OF THE PLUSHIES! AND YOU WILL ALL OBEY ME IN THE LAND OF THE PURPLE CORRIDOR AND I SHALL FORGE THE ONE PLUSHIE TO RULE THEM ALL IN THE DUSTY DEPTHS OF MOUNT VACCUUM!"
Sirius whimpered.
"And your army of dust bunnies?" James asked.
"Them, too. Along with my forks."
James smiled. "Ambitious little fellow, isn't he?"
Remus and Remus nodded in near unison.
"That's my baby."
Harry cringed.
~~~~~~ This chapter is in honorary honor of Remus J. Lupin's official middle name, confirmed by Rowling: John.
My life is complete.
"Pattycake, pattycake..."
James looked miserably over to where Remus and Remus were having jolly good fun. "That looks like jolly good fun."
Sirius held his hands up. "Pattycake?"
James gasped tralumferously. "Never!" he hissed.
Harry stood up from his place by the trash can. "You people do realize we look like a bunch of idiots here camped out in the middle of the street, don't you?"
Remus (who knows which one, the shorter one just had a growth spurt and the older one used that nice age-defying Oil of Olay lotion) looked around bewilderedly. "This is a street? I thought it was the path of life."
Sirius spit out a sailboat, an James patted him on the back.
"Great Scott, Harry," one of the Remuses said suddenly.
"That's the old one," James muttered.
"School started a month ago!"
Harry sneezed in shock. "It did?"
kittyhawk: that can't be right.
"It is," Lupin said matter-of-factly
kittyhawk: that's not how I wrote it.
Rowling: Who made you the author?
kittyhawk: uh oh.
Rowling: Voldemort's gone!
Remus frowned like a monkey that hasn't eaten for weeks. "Isn't that a good thing?"
Rowling: No. I needed him to kill you off.
"No!"
Rowling: Yes.
"No!"
Rowling: Yes.
"Villian!" Harry cried.
Rowling: No.
"Yes!"
Rowling: No.
kittyhawk: Darn, the plot's starting to thicken. There shouldn't be a plot!
"The clouds are colliding!" Sirius yelled in awe, pointing up towards the sky.
kittyhawk: That's better.
"Who needs school anyway?" James proclaimed.
"I do!" Harry replied.
"Come on, son, be a slacker like me! You've inherited my millions, haven't you?"
"But I need a good education so I can pursue the career that will forever alter my adult life!"
"You're quoting McGonagall, aren't you?"
McGonagall blushed. "Why, thank you Harry."
"I was not!"
"What's this career you pursue, anyway?"
Ron suddenly showed up. "Everyone knows he wants to be a Quidditch player!" he said, rolling his eyes.
Hermione protested. "He does not, Ron! He wants to be an Auror, don't you Harry?"
"Er... shouldn't you be at school?"
"I could ask the same of you."
"We got to go on a field trip because we won Bingo," Ron said.
Hermione frowned. "I thought we were experimentally ditching in order for some underaged fanfiction writer to make us rebelliously fall madly in love despite our age and the fact that we should be good little kids paying attention in class."
"That, too."
"We'd better leave," Ron said. "Before some demented blockhead starts a slash about me and you."
Harry pelted Ron with a large canteloupe. "Sicko!"
"By the way, what is this career you pursue?" Sirius asked.
Harry mumbled something inaudible.
"Sorry, didn't catch that."
"He said something about bored slushies."
"I WILL BE THE LORD OF THE PLUSHIES! AND YOU WILL ALL OBEY ME IN THE LAND OF THE PURPLE CORRIDOR AND I SHALL FORGE THE ONE PLUSHIE TO RULE THEM ALL IN THE DUSTY DEPTHS OF MOUNT VACCUUM!"
Sirius whimpered.
"And your army of dust bunnies?" James asked.
"Them, too. Along with my forks."
James smiled. "Ambitious little fellow, isn't he?"
Remus and Remus nodded in near unison.
"That's my baby."
Harry cringed.
~~~~~~ This chapter is in honorary honor of Remus J. Lupin's official middle name, confirmed by Rowling: John.
My life is complete.