This is one of those chapters that I wrote ages ago and then had a bastard of a time trying to link it into the story line. Well, here it is, a masterpiece if I do say so myself! (Okay, maybe not that good, but hey, I try!)

To Me Chapter 9: Rain

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I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down
(One Last Breath – Creed)

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Rain.

Nothing but rain for the past week. It echoed her feelings perfectly. Sometimes there was thunder, sometimes there was hail, but it never stopped raining. Not while she was crying.

An elderly man stood on a covered balcony. He surveyed the land before him; the rivers running dangerously high, the waterlogged and beaten crops slowly dying.

"She does this to the weather, you know."

With a sigh, the ageing man turned to face his advisor. "I know. But she can't cry forever, can she?"

The man looked shocked. "Your Highness, the people will starve if all the crops are ruined. The riverbanks are almost at flood levels. Something needs to be done."

King Bolan slowly walked over to his throne and, when seated, rested his chin in his hand.

"And what do you suppose we should do?"

"The council has agreed that the best option would be for her to become a member of the research team, as a diplomat of sorts. The Princess is well schooled in these areas. She really is the ideal candidate."

The King studied his advisor's face as he spoke. The man's great age was only barely hinted at by the flecks of silver in his otherwise dark hair. His burgundy eyes seemed wearied, a testament to all of the places and things he had experienced.

:A man who has seen a thousand lifetimes.:

A few well-placed lines creased his otherwise flawless skin, and only added to his character. He was a man the king could trust undoubtably, a man who thought only of the people.

Bolan sighed again, his own age and heartache weighing him down. "What should I do Ledgard? She's just lost her fiancée, and you want me to send her away?"

"But Your Highness, you must do something before…"

The King raised his hand to silence the man. "Yes. Instruct her maids to pack her belongings. She will leave with you tomorrow." He waved his advisor away and watched as he strode purposefully to the door, when an idea hit him. "Wait. Send Kynan as well. He will guard her with his life. I do want her safe."

"Yes, Your Highness. It will be done at once."

When Ledgard had disappeared down the hall, the elderly king slowly walked back to the window and watched the ever-falling rain once again. Sad cobalt eyes reflected back at him in the glass and he watched a tear escape them.

"I'm sorry Anysis. I'm so sorry."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

All in one moment. Utter despair crashes down upon me. Utter loneliness. I feel so much pain, so much sadness. I feel as thought I've lost everything.

The sky understands my pain. She weeps for me as though it was her true love that she lost, and not mine. He was stolen from me. I was cheated of my happiness, of my love.

Crushing despair.

Food has become bland and tasteless. I don't even want it anymore. It never held much comfort for me anyway.

Every day is just another heartache, like waking up to find him gone, again and again. It hurts so much.

I feel so alone. Surrounded, and yet alone.

My dreams are no better. He's there. He's always there. And I watch him die. Over and over. I feel the life leaving his body and I scream out his name to the heavens. Phelan!

To my surprise, more tears stream down my cheeks. I didn't think that I had any left. My eyes are red and swollen, my skin raw from rubbing at it, comforting myself. My hair is a mess, I'm wearing something black and baggy, but I don't care what I look like anymore. I only wanted to look good for him.

I had never known true, unbridled passion; complete and encompassing love until I met him. He made my heart soar whenever he walked into the room or said my name. Especially when he said my name. My name is my key. He knew that only too well.

The other knew that too. The other knew what I wanted, and it wasn't him. Dinand. The cause of my pain. The reason for the tears and the heartache. He killed my Heart. Because I didn't love him, he took the only one I did. His own brother.

"Why?" I breathe to the darkness. I receive no reply but the flash of lightning outside and the loud rumble of thunder. For an instant the entire room is lit up in an eerie white light and I see the murderer's face before me. I gather my power and release a bolt of lightening of my own, intended to kill. But he's gone. Only in my mind. The lightening is caught in the shield I have created around myself, causing a flicker of purple light, but nothing else.

I close my eyes and I can feel Phelan's arms around me. The arms that offered protection and understanding, the ones he promised would hold me forever.

"Damn you Dinand! Why have you done this to me?!" I scream and slam my fists onto the bed.

A sudden crack of thunder makes me jump and the window is flung open, shattering it and letting the pelting rain in. I walk barefoot to the opening, not worrying about the glass. The sheild protects my delicate feet. Looking out for the first time at the destruction, I am sickened.

:I did this. I'm killing my own people. And I can't stop it.:

A shudder rips through me. I can't stop shaking. I look down at the ground far below me, broken trees littering the once beautifully sculpted lawn. :Maybe I can. If I…:

My hand grips the window ledge, ready to lift my weight up and over the edge. I pause, feeling the rain on my face. :I'll be with you soon, Phelan. We'll be free together.: I haul my trembling body up onto the ledge and stand there for a moment, sending out my last spoken message.

"I'm sorry, Papa. I'm so sorry."

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A little more background on our story's heroine, to help you understand where she's coming from. For a bit more, check out the next installment:

To Me

Chapter 10: Subject