Well, actually Josh, the poor Hat goes on to have serious issues later on
in life due to the information and general muddle of incoherence in Delta's
head. . . but that doesn't matter here!
Yes, the song/poem thingy was my own. . . imagine the Hat saying it or say it out loud and it sounds better!
Since I am now off school, I plan to spit out a chapter a day (excluding Christmas) (actually, I take that back. Knowing what happened last year, you may get three chapters on the 25th. . .) Anyway, one chapter a day, for three weeks. . . *counts on fingers* Ok, this is either going to be a reeeeaaaallly long story or. . . a really long story. There's going to be, like, 30 chapters! Joy to the world!
Now, let the chapter-uh-commence!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Artemis sat beside Ron. "So, what ya'll think of that?"
Ron gaped.
"You ain't a fish, Ronnikiens." Grinned Artemis. Ron looked indignant and closed his mouth.
"How you know-"
"Just because the twins are gone, doesn't mean that this school isn't going to see a LOT of mischief. . ."
"Is that what you meant by 'I'm MISCHIEF, for Guardian's sake!'?"
Artemis avoided the question and looked back to the stage. Dumbledore had put the hat on his head and was nodding, obviously conversing with the hat. Ron, Harry, Hermione, and the rest of the 6th-years looked up just in time to see Dumbledore reach up fast to take the Hat off his head. He slowed down as he pulled it off, and tried to cover it by his serene smile, but he looked distinctly ruffled for a few seconds there. Then he smiled, gave the hat to McGonagall, and turned back to the students.
"Now that we've had our little scare for today-" Scare was right. The sound of the Hat's scream still echoed in the ears, and many were looking fearfully at Artemis (who expertly ignored it all) "-I'd like to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, who will be joining us for overseas, and will be here for the first half of the year. Please give a Hogwarts welcome to Professor Torquil."
The Hall began to clap, but Artemis's head snapped back at the name. "And just when you've thought you've seen it all. . ." she muttered, before glaring at the ceiling. "Ha ha, very funny!"
Growling and ignoring the looks the Gryffindor's were giving her, she looked back at the teacher and, quite unexpectedly, laughed. Very very hard. She kept laughing, even though she almost fell off her part of the bench.
"Good gatekeepers, this- this- oh, this takes all!"
Trying to regain her composure, (remember, trying indicates lack of success) she sat up and managed to contain her raucous laughter into silent giggles.
Professor Torquil had been looking at her with a leviathan smile on his face. When Artemis sat up, he waved. She nearly lost her control, then simply waved back.
"What was that about?" Asked Hermione curiously. "You sounded like you were going to hurt yourself!"
"Good Lordie, girly, I can't hurt myself!" Another semi-mad grin escaped her lips. Then (for the naughty naughty kiddies had been ignoring Dumbledore the Great) they heard three words: "Levi domons abre!" and their dinner appeared on the table.
Artemis and Ron gave identical hungry wolf grins before diving in. Since Harry was the only one sitting across from them, only he saw the flash of similarity. Actually, no. It wasn't that Artemis was similar to Ron, but she was similar to someone. . . Ron was similar to, maybe? Harry got confused, and when the smell of beef pie reached his nose he abandoned his reasoning and followed Artemis and Ron's example.
Artemis took a beef pie, too, along with numerous other things. Then she looked around and said "No steak! What was Dumbledore thinking!" With that, she reached through the table a pulled up a plate with at least 10 juicy top sirloins on it, and another heaping with fries. Giving a wry grin, she took a steak and a handful of fries. Offering the plate to Ron, he took one without comment. After the silver incident, little phased him. Harry and Hermione exchanged glances before Harry took one with his fork and Hermione declined.
"I'm thinking of going vegetarian. . ."
At this, Artemis ogled at her in shock. "Are you JOKING? Because that's not funny! Don't go veggie, girly, it'll kill you."
Hermione looked haughty. "I happen to know that vegetarian diets are quite healthy!"
"Yes, but being a growing girl who could use to grow a little more. . ." giving a calculating glance to Hermione's frail figure, Artemis shrugged. "All I'm sayin' is that meat is good for you! There's protein in meat you won't get anywhere else. And veggie diets can be nutrient deficient if handled improperly."
Hermione glared at the girl, who looked impassively back. "Girly, I've stared down Kathryn Janeway. You got nothing on her."
Impulsively reaching across the table to pat Hermione's head, Artemis gave her a consoling smile. "Aww, don't look so angry. I'm just telling the truth."
Then she turned back to her meal and gobbled as fast as Ron, who had missed the whole thing. Only Harry realized how close Artemis had come to making Hermione very angry indeed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After the feast with desert ended (Artemis had called up something called a 'brownie sundae' from the middle of the table, which Ron had immediately wanted and Artemis had obliged) Dumbledore stood up once more.
"Now that we are all fed and watered, I'd like to tell you a few new rules: For one thing, exiting the school itself without teacher accompaniment is not allowed. Most of the decrees issued last year have been revoked, and that means that 'clubs, groups, and meetings' are now allowed again." Here Dumbledore paused. "The eastern tower is off limits. Astronomy classes will be limited to the north and west towers. In addition, I would remind you that there is no entering the forbidden forest. However, I doubt that will be a problem this year. . ." Dumbledore's eyes gave a small smile as he said this.
However, as if in response to this, the doors to the Great Hall opened wide enough to admit two tall, smiling figures with very red hair.
"I knew it. . ." Artemis smiled wickedly.
"Hello, professor!" Called out Fred Weasley.
"Where should we put our trunks?" his twin added.
The Hall erupted.
In the pandemonium of people jumping to congratulate the twins on their spectacular leave from the year before, Harry noticed Artemis slip down the aisle. Dumbledore's wand went off with a crack and blue sparks, and this was the only reason Harry, Ron, and Hermione saw Artemis hug both twins fiercely.
"Good Guardians, I almost thought you wouldn't come!" Artemis's voice rang over the Hall.
"Artemis, there will be plenty of time for greetings later. Please take your seat!" McGonagall tried to reprimand but it was lost a little on Artemis's effervescent personality.
Dumbledore stood. "Ah, welcome back, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Weasley."
Turning back to the students, he announced "The Weasleys are here for the year to study and experiment, among other reasons. I am told to announce that anyone who is willing to test certain. . .confectionary items should sign up on the sheet on the Entrance Hall notice board."
Turning to the Weasleys, he motioned them to take a seat. "Stay with Artemis after the feast. Professor Torquil will show you to your rooms." Addressing the school as a whole, Dumbledore concluded with "Off to bed now! I'm sure you are all very tired."
The tables stood up to follow prefects as they everyone left the hall, leaving Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, the twins, and Artemis behind.
"Why are you back?"
"What's these 'other reasons'?"
"Nice to see you!"
"Good Gatekeepers, this school'll never know what hit em!!"
The twins smiled at everyone but answered no questions. "I just want to go to BED!" Yawned George, laying his head down on the table.
"I'm with you there!"
"Out! Out! Up to your common rooms, the lot of you!" Professor Torquil stood over them, grinning hugely.
Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Harry turned and, with one last 'Good night!' left the hall.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Thanks to Diana Wynne Jones, I stole a name!
Word to the Wise: If you see a bomb technician running very fast, do the same.
Yes, the song/poem thingy was my own. . . imagine the Hat saying it or say it out loud and it sounds better!
Since I am now off school, I plan to spit out a chapter a day (excluding Christmas) (actually, I take that back. Knowing what happened last year, you may get three chapters on the 25th. . .) Anyway, one chapter a day, for three weeks. . . *counts on fingers* Ok, this is either going to be a reeeeaaaallly long story or. . . a really long story. There's going to be, like, 30 chapters! Joy to the world!
Now, let the chapter-uh-commence!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Artemis sat beside Ron. "So, what ya'll think of that?"
Ron gaped.
"You ain't a fish, Ronnikiens." Grinned Artemis. Ron looked indignant and closed his mouth.
"How you know-"
"Just because the twins are gone, doesn't mean that this school isn't going to see a LOT of mischief. . ."
"Is that what you meant by 'I'm MISCHIEF, for Guardian's sake!'?"
Artemis avoided the question and looked back to the stage. Dumbledore had put the hat on his head and was nodding, obviously conversing with the hat. Ron, Harry, Hermione, and the rest of the 6th-years looked up just in time to see Dumbledore reach up fast to take the Hat off his head. He slowed down as he pulled it off, and tried to cover it by his serene smile, but he looked distinctly ruffled for a few seconds there. Then he smiled, gave the hat to McGonagall, and turned back to the students.
"Now that we've had our little scare for today-" Scare was right. The sound of the Hat's scream still echoed in the ears, and many were looking fearfully at Artemis (who expertly ignored it all) "-I'd like to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, who will be joining us for overseas, and will be here for the first half of the year. Please give a Hogwarts welcome to Professor Torquil."
The Hall began to clap, but Artemis's head snapped back at the name. "And just when you've thought you've seen it all. . ." she muttered, before glaring at the ceiling. "Ha ha, very funny!"
Growling and ignoring the looks the Gryffindor's were giving her, she looked back at the teacher and, quite unexpectedly, laughed. Very very hard. She kept laughing, even though she almost fell off her part of the bench.
"Good gatekeepers, this- this- oh, this takes all!"
Trying to regain her composure, (remember, trying indicates lack of success) she sat up and managed to contain her raucous laughter into silent giggles.
Professor Torquil had been looking at her with a leviathan smile on his face. When Artemis sat up, he waved. She nearly lost her control, then simply waved back.
"What was that about?" Asked Hermione curiously. "You sounded like you were going to hurt yourself!"
"Good Lordie, girly, I can't hurt myself!" Another semi-mad grin escaped her lips. Then (for the naughty naughty kiddies had been ignoring Dumbledore the Great) they heard three words: "Levi domons abre!" and their dinner appeared on the table.
Artemis and Ron gave identical hungry wolf grins before diving in. Since Harry was the only one sitting across from them, only he saw the flash of similarity. Actually, no. It wasn't that Artemis was similar to Ron, but she was similar to someone. . . Ron was similar to, maybe? Harry got confused, and when the smell of beef pie reached his nose he abandoned his reasoning and followed Artemis and Ron's example.
Artemis took a beef pie, too, along with numerous other things. Then she looked around and said "No steak! What was Dumbledore thinking!" With that, she reached through the table a pulled up a plate with at least 10 juicy top sirloins on it, and another heaping with fries. Giving a wry grin, she took a steak and a handful of fries. Offering the plate to Ron, he took one without comment. After the silver incident, little phased him. Harry and Hermione exchanged glances before Harry took one with his fork and Hermione declined.
"I'm thinking of going vegetarian. . ."
At this, Artemis ogled at her in shock. "Are you JOKING? Because that's not funny! Don't go veggie, girly, it'll kill you."
Hermione looked haughty. "I happen to know that vegetarian diets are quite healthy!"
"Yes, but being a growing girl who could use to grow a little more. . ." giving a calculating glance to Hermione's frail figure, Artemis shrugged. "All I'm sayin' is that meat is good for you! There's protein in meat you won't get anywhere else. And veggie diets can be nutrient deficient if handled improperly."
Hermione glared at the girl, who looked impassively back. "Girly, I've stared down Kathryn Janeway. You got nothing on her."
Impulsively reaching across the table to pat Hermione's head, Artemis gave her a consoling smile. "Aww, don't look so angry. I'm just telling the truth."
Then she turned back to her meal and gobbled as fast as Ron, who had missed the whole thing. Only Harry realized how close Artemis had come to making Hermione very angry indeed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After the feast with desert ended (Artemis had called up something called a 'brownie sundae' from the middle of the table, which Ron had immediately wanted and Artemis had obliged) Dumbledore stood up once more.
"Now that we are all fed and watered, I'd like to tell you a few new rules: For one thing, exiting the school itself without teacher accompaniment is not allowed. Most of the decrees issued last year have been revoked, and that means that 'clubs, groups, and meetings' are now allowed again." Here Dumbledore paused. "The eastern tower is off limits. Astronomy classes will be limited to the north and west towers. In addition, I would remind you that there is no entering the forbidden forest. However, I doubt that will be a problem this year. . ." Dumbledore's eyes gave a small smile as he said this.
However, as if in response to this, the doors to the Great Hall opened wide enough to admit two tall, smiling figures with very red hair.
"I knew it. . ." Artemis smiled wickedly.
"Hello, professor!" Called out Fred Weasley.
"Where should we put our trunks?" his twin added.
The Hall erupted.
In the pandemonium of people jumping to congratulate the twins on their spectacular leave from the year before, Harry noticed Artemis slip down the aisle. Dumbledore's wand went off with a crack and blue sparks, and this was the only reason Harry, Ron, and Hermione saw Artemis hug both twins fiercely.
"Good Guardians, I almost thought you wouldn't come!" Artemis's voice rang over the Hall.
"Artemis, there will be plenty of time for greetings later. Please take your seat!" McGonagall tried to reprimand but it was lost a little on Artemis's effervescent personality.
Dumbledore stood. "Ah, welcome back, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Weasley."
Turning back to the students, he announced "The Weasleys are here for the year to study and experiment, among other reasons. I am told to announce that anyone who is willing to test certain. . .confectionary items should sign up on the sheet on the Entrance Hall notice board."
Turning to the Weasleys, he motioned them to take a seat. "Stay with Artemis after the feast. Professor Torquil will show you to your rooms." Addressing the school as a whole, Dumbledore concluded with "Off to bed now! I'm sure you are all very tired."
The tables stood up to follow prefects as they everyone left the hall, leaving Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, the twins, and Artemis behind.
"Why are you back?"
"What's these 'other reasons'?"
"Nice to see you!"
"Good Gatekeepers, this school'll never know what hit em!!"
The twins smiled at everyone but answered no questions. "I just want to go to BED!" Yawned George, laying his head down on the table.
"I'm with you there!"
"Out! Out! Up to your common rooms, the lot of you!" Professor Torquil stood over them, grinning hugely.
Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Harry turned and, with one last 'Good night!' left the hall.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Thanks to Diana Wynne Jones, I stole a name!
Word to the Wise: If you see a bomb technician running very fast, do the same.