I lied. Two chapters today.
You know how I never do disclaimers anymore? I figure they're pointless and false anyways. Cause although people HERE don't believe Harry and the rest are real, they are somewhere, and therefore they don't belong to anyone.
Also, who's actually going to believe I made these characters up when J. K. Rowling is now the richest author EVER? Don't be stupid people.
Don't forget: She DID give her consent for us to use her characters. . .!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dumbledore came down to Professor Torquil, who grinned down at Artemis. "What was so funny, young lady?"
Stifling a grin, Artemis replied "I knew someone named Torquil. . . he was the 5th child of 7 siblings who all wanted to rule the world."
"Did this 'Torquil' want to rule the world too?"
"No, just farm music, stores and sports. But none of them succeeded. The three older one's were put in a rocket and blasted off to. . . Caldius Prime, I think. Or something like that."
Dumbledore had an odd look on his face, and he turned to talk to Torquil in a low voice. In the meantime, Fred stared at Artemis.
"You really get around, don't you, kiddo?"
George chimed in, "Ya! You turn up in our first year, hang around for Christmas Break, then disappear! And we only heard from you 3 weeks ago!"
"Why'd you want us here so bad, anyways?"
Giving a wry glance at Torquil, she leaned into Fred's ear and whispered, "Who else to make Snape and Filch's lives hell?"
Fred and George grinned evilly. The pure mischief radiating from them was only matched by Artemis's identical smile.
"Besides," she said in a normal voice, all too aware of Torquil and Dumbledore now watching, "This is a great place to make more 'Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes'!"
Standing up, she turned to Torquil. "Where to?"
"Well, this is the problem. I assume the brothers want to stay together?"
The Weasley twins nodded fervently.
"So, we can put you, Artemis, in the girls' dorm in Gryffindor tower. It'll be a little crowded, but-"
"Not meaning to sound picky, but, do I have to?"
Dumbledore smiled. "We will have to put the Weasley twins in the Room of Requirement, most likely. There isn't really anywhere else to put you, unless you know. . ."
"Oh, but I do! Can't we use the Unknowable Passages? Aren't there rooms as well?"
"There are, my dear. Or supposedly. I don't know where they are." Dumbledore looked into the distance. "My greatest fear. . ."
"Well, I know."
Dumbledore stared at her. "I would doubt you. But after what the Hat said. . ."
The twins stared at Dumbledore and Artemis. "What ARE you talking about?"
Dumbledore turned to Torquil. "I suppose we shan't need you after all. This is, I'm sorry to say, highly classified. If this girl knows what she says she knows. . ."
Torquil nodded. "Of course, I understand!" He turned and strode out of the hall.
Dumbledore motioned for Artemis to sit down beside the twins and he himself sat on the Hufflepuff bench across the aisle.
"Explain."
"There are a lot of things I know. I could explain, but I'm a) not allowed and b) it would take a loooong time. So suffice it to say, I know where the Unknowable Passages are."
"What are these, 'Unknowable Passages?" inquired Fred.
"Ya, I thought Fred and I found all the secret passages in this school. I mean, the mara-" Fred elbowed his brother in the ribs. "Er. . . ya. I thought we found them all."
"You can't find these. It's impossible. Unless you know where they are, and that they exist, you can't find them. Someone has to tell you." Artemis looked Dumbledore square in the eye, even though she was talking to the twins. "They were built by Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, years ago, when Hogwarts was founded. They wanted a way to sneak around the school without Gryffindor and Slytherine knowing. You know, girl stuff. They also built rooms, so that they could stay away if Gryffindor and Slytherine were arguing, or so they could do some stuff by themselves. Only one record was ever found of the passages existence, Ravenclaw's diary. And Ravenclaw didn't say where the entrance, or entrances, were. So when Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff died, the secret died with them. Many people have tried to find the passages, as many tried to find the Chamber of Secrets." Pausing for breath, she glanced at the twins. "And I know where they are."
"How?" Questioned Dumbledore.
"I just do. And if I'm to do my job, you'll have to trust me on that." Here, she turned her Janeway glare on Dumbledore. Most would say this was a very unwise move.
However, "Fair enough." Was Dumbledore's only reply.
George looked thoughtful. "So, somehow, there are all these passages and rooms in the walls of Hogwarts?"
"Yep. And in other places too. It's really quite funny. . . Well, if you'll let us live there, Dumbledore, I can show the three of you. I'm sure the Weasley twins can be trusted. . ."
Dumbledore considered. "I would greatly appreciate the knowledge of the Unknowable Passages." He said finally. "So I will allow you three to live in them. Now please, lead on, Artemis."
The girl stood and walked out into the hall, followed by the twins and Headmaster. The twins trunks were neatly tucked in a corner, and they went to pick them up. Before Dumbledore could get his wand out to make them levitate, Artemis waved her hand and they lifted off the floor. "Common, I'm tired!"
Up the stairs, to the 5th floor, along the third corridor, to the base of the south tower. Up to the 7th floor. There was a bare stretch of wall here, and Artemis drew a line on the bricks four up from the floor with her hand. She muttered, "Unknowable opening 5, grant me passage."
The whole wall lifted up, and although beyond it should have been a seven story drop to the ground, instead there was a stairway that looked like it hugged the wall around the tower. "Up we go!" Artemis cheered, and the four walked up, followed by the eerily floating trunks, around the south tower. When they got to the top, there was a circular room that looked rather like the common room, but with two cozy fires and a low ceiling. There were sofas in front of each fire, and a circle of three armchairs around a middle table. There were two windows, both bays, perpendicular to the fireplaces. They had window seats, and looked perfect for reading. However, there were only two because the walls were lined with bookshelves. Books upon books, small turning tables full of them, all the walls filled with them, books of every kind. Artemis sighed.
"One of my favorite rooms, this one."
"Where are we in relation to the castle?" queried Dumbledore.
"Well, if you were on top of the south tower, we'd be over your head."
"That's not possible!" exclaimed Fred, looking around the cozy room.
"Yes, actually, it is. Remember, there IS magic that doesn't pertain to jokes and pranks, Mr. Weasley. However, I too am impressed." Dumbledore looked around. "Is this the only place 'Unknowable Opening 5' goes to?
Artemis grinned. "Oh no. Here's the best part." Walking between the close- set armchairs, she lifted up the table and with it, a part of the floor. Underneath, the twins (who had squeezed in beside Artemis) could see a spiraling slide.
"It goes straight down!" exclaimed George, sounding exactly like his brother.
"Move you guys, so Professor Dumbledore can see."
Dumbledore peered down. "I don't understand. . ."
"You can stand right in this thing and you won't know. But now that you do, every time you step on the top of the south tower you'll see this thing in the middle." Artemis grinned. "And that's only the beginning. . ."
Dumbledore backed out of the armchair circle. "Well, ladies first."
"Will you be ok, Professor?"
"Yes, I'll be fine." The headmaster's eyes twinkled. "I haven't slid down one of these since I was 10. . ."
Artemis grinned at the twins and jumped down the slide. George was right behind her, feet touching her back. Only two turns round, she placed her hands on the glass on her left and the pole on her right and stopped herself, along with George, Fred, and, inexorably, Dumbledore. "Look. See? Right in the middle of the tower."
It was an interesting feeling, sitting in the middle of the air looking out at a view from the top of a tower.
Then the view was gone, as Artemis let her hands go and George's feet moved forwards.
Sliding round and round and round, they got dizzy and went down three stories before being shot out of the end, through what was a ceiling, to land in a pool of pillows and cushions.
"Bloody heck, you could have some wicked pillow fights in here!" Fred said, looking around. The Headmaster was sprawled, rather undignified, in the middle of the pool. He was laughing.
"What a ride! I'd forgotten how fun those were!"
Trying to sit up, and failing, the Headmaster entreated Artemis to help. She gracefully made the air pick him up and set him gently on the floor.
"So, what's this room?"
"Well, the room we just left was the Reading Room, obviously. This one is the Fun Room. See, the games along the walls? And if you pull on that-" she pointed to a rope in the ceiling- "You'll be transported back to the reading room and you can slide again!" Giving a playful grin, she added enthusiastically, "They thought of EVERYTHING. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff sometimes let students in here. And they'd play here themselves. Pity, all these great rooms and passages, just forgotten."
Artemis got out of the pillow-pit and went to a door in the wall. "Common!" She said, as effervescently as before.
They were led through a complex pattern of stairs, passages, rooms, openings, and panels which they couldn't even begin to remember. The complicated thing came with the fact that there were hidden passages and doorways within the secret passages and doorways. And there were openings in, quite literally, every single part of the castle. There was even one in the 6th year boys' bedroom in Gryffindor. They passed rooms, but only went in one more, the Watching Room. It was situated right on top of the castle, and had a brilliant view over all Hogwarts grounds. It was all glass. There was one trapeze-swing thing in the hanging from the middle of the ceiling, where you could sit and feel like you were floating. You got there in an elevator-like contraption, and there was a panel in the room. You could go to all four common rooms using this panel, and if you pressed the right button, all the walls turned into things like Muggle TV screens, showing any view in the castle you wanted. But Artemis only showed them this with the example of the empty Entrance Hall, refusing to give them the password on the grounds of "I can just see you two (guess who) spying on some girl in the shower!" to which she received the indignant and attempted innocence of "Who, us?"
They left the room heading for the Headmaster's office. As the elevator acted like something from a Dahl book and flew them there, Artemis warned the twins.
"The main thing is, Gred and Forge, that you won't be able to get out until I teach you all the ways around. You'll have to stick with me." Here she punched 'Forge' playfully on the arm. "Ah, here we are!"
Exiting the elevator, Artemis ushered the Headmaster out. "I'll make a plan of the 5 "main" entrances. Not everything is interconnected, but you'll get to all except one place with those. Also, can the twins and I have the day off? I'm jet-lagged, and exhausted after the attempt on the train today. And I want to teach the twins at least a bit of the way around."
"You may take the day off, of course. But about the train attempt-"
"It was Voldemort, and it took a lot of power to get us out of there. I had to reverse gravity, expel the evilness in the darkness, and use air to lift us."
"I'm sure everyone is greatly thankful, even if they don't know who did it."
"They all think it was 'some wizard'." Artemis grinned. "May we go?"
The twins, who had been silent throughout this odd exchange, hoped they could. After all the odd adventures, with the trunks lurking behind their heads, they wanted to go to sleep.
"Yes of course. But Artemis?"
The girl stopped, half way to the wall that opened onto the elevator where the twins waited. "Yes?"
"Which passages will I not be able to access?"
"The ones where our rooms are, sir!" Giving a mischievous grin, she hopped into the elevator and the wall closed.
Dumbledore shook his head. "That girl will be the death of me." He muttered before turning in himself with much in his head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny went into their respective bedrooms after entering the Common Room and saying goodnight (password was 'Lightpulse', a kind of plant that glows softly). They all fell asleep quickly.
Harry's last thought was: "Meeting Artemis sure was interesting. . ."
Hermione's last thought was: "Meeting Artemis sure was interesting. . ."
Ginny's last thought was: "Meeting Artemis sure was interesting. . ."
Ron's last thought was: "Bloody hell, that girl's hot!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Fred turned to Artemis. "Where're our rooms?"
"Well, since I wanted us to be in the only place Dumbledore couldn't access, or at least wouldn't realize he could access, there's a place called the 'Random Bedroom'. There's usually three beds, and they change, as does everything else. It's great."
"Where does it lead to? Like, how do we get there without using the elevator, since you're the only one who can use it?"
"Here's the great thing." Artemis said in a sinister tone. "I don't know if you ever noticed, but right beside the Gryffindor tower there's this bridge, connecting two parts of the castle. However, you can't get to this bridge unless you know about the Unknowable Passages. So it connects our room with the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room. You just give the Fat Lady a different password.
Ron goggled. "You're KIDDING?!"
"Nope! You seem like you're just entering the Common Room and boom, you step onto this bridge, walk over to the Random Bedroom, and voila! And there're two more rooms right beside it, the Random Room and the Random Room of Requirement."
"Is that the same as the room Ron talked about?"
"No, because it'll give you what you need, but not necessarily what you were thinking of. For example, you want a place to study. But you also need to go to the bathroom and are hungry. So you might get a library, a desk, a huge, fancy bathroom or a stocked pantry. And the Random Room is just that. Random. You never know WHAT you're going to get if you walk in there!"
George shook his head. "Artemis, I must admit. You are brilliant."
"Why thank you!" Artemis tried, and didn't quite succeed, at looking modest as the two twins hugged her. She blushed as well.
The elevator opened in the form of a portrait outside the Fat Lady and the joint entrance. Tapping the snoring Fat Lady on the shoulder, she whispered the password.
"Hey Lady? Password Theta."
"That's not the password!" Grumbled the Fat Lady in her half-awake state. "At least. . . oh. It is. Sorry." And the painting swung open to reveal a covered walkway leading to a circular landing and three doors.
"Bullseye." The three muttered at the same time. Grinning at each other, they stepped in as the portrait closed, with a final sort of snap, behind them and the floating trunks.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Just a Random Thought: What would we do without rhetorical questions?
You know how I never do disclaimers anymore? I figure they're pointless and false anyways. Cause although people HERE don't believe Harry and the rest are real, they are somewhere, and therefore they don't belong to anyone.
Also, who's actually going to believe I made these characters up when J. K. Rowling is now the richest author EVER? Don't be stupid people.
Don't forget: She DID give her consent for us to use her characters. . .!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dumbledore came down to Professor Torquil, who grinned down at Artemis. "What was so funny, young lady?"
Stifling a grin, Artemis replied "I knew someone named Torquil. . . he was the 5th child of 7 siblings who all wanted to rule the world."
"Did this 'Torquil' want to rule the world too?"
"No, just farm music, stores and sports. But none of them succeeded. The three older one's were put in a rocket and blasted off to. . . Caldius Prime, I think. Or something like that."
Dumbledore had an odd look on his face, and he turned to talk to Torquil in a low voice. In the meantime, Fred stared at Artemis.
"You really get around, don't you, kiddo?"
George chimed in, "Ya! You turn up in our first year, hang around for Christmas Break, then disappear! And we only heard from you 3 weeks ago!"
"Why'd you want us here so bad, anyways?"
Giving a wry glance at Torquil, she leaned into Fred's ear and whispered, "Who else to make Snape and Filch's lives hell?"
Fred and George grinned evilly. The pure mischief radiating from them was only matched by Artemis's identical smile.
"Besides," she said in a normal voice, all too aware of Torquil and Dumbledore now watching, "This is a great place to make more 'Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes'!"
Standing up, she turned to Torquil. "Where to?"
"Well, this is the problem. I assume the brothers want to stay together?"
The Weasley twins nodded fervently.
"So, we can put you, Artemis, in the girls' dorm in Gryffindor tower. It'll be a little crowded, but-"
"Not meaning to sound picky, but, do I have to?"
Dumbledore smiled. "We will have to put the Weasley twins in the Room of Requirement, most likely. There isn't really anywhere else to put you, unless you know. . ."
"Oh, but I do! Can't we use the Unknowable Passages? Aren't there rooms as well?"
"There are, my dear. Or supposedly. I don't know where they are." Dumbledore looked into the distance. "My greatest fear. . ."
"Well, I know."
Dumbledore stared at her. "I would doubt you. But after what the Hat said. . ."
The twins stared at Dumbledore and Artemis. "What ARE you talking about?"
Dumbledore turned to Torquil. "I suppose we shan't need you after all. This is, I'm sorry to say, highly classified. If this girl knows what she says she knows. . ."
Torquil nodded. "Of course, I understand!" He turned and strode out of the hall.
Dumbledore motioned for Artemis to sit down beside the twins and he himself sat on the Hufflepuff bench across the aisle.
"Explain."
"There are a lot of things I know. I could explain, but I'm a) not allowed and b) it would take a loooong time. So suffice it to say, I know where the Unknowable Passages are."
"What are these, 'Unknowable Passages?" inquired Fred.
"Ya, I thought Fred and I found all the secret passages in this school. I mean, the mara-" Fred elbowed his brother in the ribs. "Er. . . ya. I thought we found them all."
"You can't find these. It's impossible. Unless you know where they are, and that they exist, you can't find them. Someone has to tell you." Artemis looked Dumbledore square in the eye, even though she was talking to the twins. "They were built by Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, years ago, when Hogwarts was founded. They wanted a way to sneak around the school without Gryffindor and Slytherine knowing. You know, girl stuff. They also built rooms, so that they could stay away if Gryffindor and Slytherine were arguing, or so they could do some stuff by themselves. Only one record was ever found of the passages existence, Ravenclaw's diary. And Ravenclaw didn't say where the entrance, or entrances, were. So when Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff died, the secret died with them. Many people have tried to find the passages, as many tried to find the Chamber of Secrets." Pausing for breath, she glanced at the twins. "And I know where they are."
"How?" Questioned Dumbledore.
"I just do. And if I'm to do my job, you'll have to trust me on that." Here, she turned her Janeway glare on Dumbledore. Most would say this was a very unwise move.
However, "Fair enough." Was Dumbledore's only reply.
George looked thoughtful. "So, somehow, there are all these passages and rooms in the walls of Hogwarts?"
"Yep. And in other places too. It's really quite funny. . . Well, if you'll let us live there, Dumbledore, I can show the three of you. I'm sure the Weasley twins can be trusted. . ."
Dumbledore considered. "I would greatly appreciate the knowledge of the Unknowable Passages." He said finally. "So I will allow you three to live in them. Now please, lead on, Artemis."
The girl stood and walked out into the hall, followed by the twins and Headmaster. The twins trunks were neatly tucked in a corner, and they went to pick them up. Before Dumbledore could get his wand out to make them levitate, Artemis waved her hand and they lifted off the floor. "Common, I'm tired!"
Up the stairs, to the 5th floor, along the third corridor, to the base of the south tower. Up to the 7th floor. There was a bare stretch of wall here, and Artemis drew a line on the bricks four up from the floor with her hand. She muttered, "Unknowable opening 5, grant me passage."
The whole wall lifted up, and although beyond it should have been a seven story drop to the ground, instead there was a stairway that looked like it hugged the wall around the tower. "Up we go!" Artemis cheered, and the four walked up, followed by the eerily floating trunks, around the south tower. When they got to the top, there was a circular room that looked rather like the common room, but with two cozy fires and a low ceiling. There were sofas in front of each fire, and a circle of three armchairs around a middle table. There were two windows, both bays, perpendicular to the fireplaces. They had window seats, and looked perfect for reading. However, there were only two because the walls were lined with bookshelves. Books upon books, small turning tables full of them, all the walls filled with them, books of every kind. Artemis sighed.
"One of my favorite rooms, this one."
"Where are we in relation to the castle?" queried Dumbledore.
"Well, if you were on top of the south tower, we'd be over your head."
"That's not possible!" exclaimed Fred, looking around the cozy room.
"Yes, actually, it is. Remember, there IS magic that doesn't pertain to jokes and pranks, Mr. Weasley. However, I too am impressed." Dumbledore looked around. "Is this the only place 'Unknowable Opening 5' goes to?
Artemis grinned. "Oh no. Here's the best part." Walking between the close- set armchairs, she lifted up the table and with it, a part of the floor. Underneath, the twins (who had squeezed in beside Artemis) could see a spiraling slide.
"It goes straight down!" exclaimed George, sounding exactly like his brother.
"Move you guys, so Professor Dumbledore can see."
Dumbledore peered down. "I don't understand. . ."
"You can stand right in this thing and you won't know. But now that you do, every time you step on the top of the south tower you'll see this thing in the middle." Artemis grinned. "And that's only the beginning. . ."
Dumbledore backed out of the armchair circle. "Well, ladies first."
"Will you be ok, Professor?"
"Yes, I'll be fine." The headmaster's eyes twinkled. "I haven't slid down one of these since I was 10. . ."
Artemis grinned at the twins and jumped down the slide. George was right behind her, feet touching her back. Only two turns round, she placed her hands on the glass on her left and the pole on her right and stopped herself, along with George, Fred, and, inexorably, Dumbledore. "Look. See? Right in the middle of the tower."
It was an interesting feeling, sitting in the middle of the air looking out at a view from the top of a tower.
Then the view was gone, as Artemis let her hands go and George's feet moved forwards.
Sliding round and round and round, they got dizzy and went down three stories before being shot out of the end, through what was a ceiling, to land in a pool of pillows and cushions.
"Bloody heck, you could have some wicked pillow fights in here!" Fred said, looking around. The Headmaster was sprawled, rather undignified, in the middle of the pool. He was laughing.
"What a ride! I'd forgotten how fun those were!"
Trying to sit up, and failing, the Headmaster entreated Artemis to help. She gracefully made the air pick him up and set him gently on the floor.
"So, what's this room?"
"Well, the room we just left was the Reading Room, obviously. This one is the Fun Room. See, the games along the walls? And if you pull on that-" she pointed to a rope in the ceiling- "You'll be transported back to the reading room and you can slide again!" Giving a playful grin, she added enthusiastically, "They thought of EVERYTHING. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff sometimes let students in here. And they'd play here themselves. Pity, all these great rooms and passages, just forgotten."
Artemis got out of the pillow-pit and went to a door in the wall. "Common!" She said, as effervescently as before.
They were led through a complex pattern of stairs, passages, rooms, openings, and panels which they couldn't even begin to remember. The complicated thing came with the fact that there were hidden passages and doorways within the secret passages and doorways. And there were openings in, quite literally, every single part of the castle. There was even one in the 6th year boys' bedroom in Gryffindor. They passed rooms, but only went in one more, the Watching Room. It was situated right on top of the castle, and had a brilliant view over all Hogwarts grounds. It was all glass. There was one trapeze-swing thing in the hanging from the middle of the ceiling, where you could sit and feel like you were floating. You got there in an elevator-like contraption, and there was a panel in the room. You could go to all four common rooms using this panel, and if you pressed the right button, all the walls turned into things like Muggle TV screens, showing any view in the castle you wanted. But Artemis only showed them this with the example of the empty Entrance Hall, refusing to give them the password on the grounds of "I can just see you two (guess who) spying on some girl in the shower!" to which she received the indignant and attempted innocence of "Who, us?"
They left the room heading for the Headmaster's office. As the elevator acted like something from a Dahl book and flew them there, Artemis warned the twins.
"The main thing is, Gred and Forge, that you won't be able to get out until I teach you all the ways around. You'll have to stick with me." Here she punched 'Forge' playfully on the arm. "Ah, here we are!"
Exiting the elevator, Artemis ushered the Headmaster out. "I'll make a plan of the 5 "main" entrances. Not everything is interconnected, but you'll get to all except one place with those. Also, can the twins and I have the day off? I'm jet-lagged, and exhausted after the attempt on the train today. And I want to teach the twins at least a bit of the way around."
"You may take the day off, of course. But about the train attempt-"
"It was Voldemort, and it took a lot of power to get us out of there. I had to reverse gravity, expel the evilness in the darkness, and use air to lift us."
"I'm sure everyone is greatly thankful, even if they don't know who did it."
"They all think it was 'some wizard'." Artemis grinned. "May we go?"
The twins, who had been silent throughout this odd exchange, hoped they could. After all the odd adventures, with the trunks lurking behind their heads, they wanted to go to sleep.
"Yes of course. But Artemis?"
The girl stopped, half way to the wall that opened onto the elevator where the twins waited. "Yes?"
"Which passages will I not be able to access?"
"The ones where our rooms are, sir!" Giving a mischievous grin, she hopped into the elevator and the wall closed.
Dumbledore shook his head. "That girl will be the death of me." He muttered before turning in himself with much in his head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny went into their respective bedrooms after entering the Common Room and saying goodnight (password was 'Lightpulse', a kind of plant that glows softly). They all fell asleep quickly.
Harry's last thought was: "Meeting Artemis sure was interesting. . ."
Hermione's last thought was: "Meeting Artemis sure was interesting. . ."
Ginny's last thought was: "Meeting Artemis sure was interesting. . ."
Ron's last thought was: "Bloody hell, that girl's hot!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Fred turned to Artemis. "Where're our rooms?"
"Well, since I wanted us to be in the only place Dumbledore couldn't access, or at least wouldn't realize he could access, there's a place called the 'Random Bedroom'. There's usually three beds, and they change, as does everything else. It's great."
"Where does it lead to? Like, how do we get there without using the elevator, since you're the only one who can use it?"
"Here's the great thing." Artemis said in a sinister tone. "I don't know if you ever noticed, but right beside the Gryffindor tower there's this bridge, connecting two parts of the castle. However, you can't get to this bridge unless you know about the Unknowable Passages. So it connects our room with the portrait hole to the Gryffindor common room. You just give the Fat Lady a different password.
Ron goggled. "You're KIDDING?!"
"Nope! You seem like you're just entering the Common Room and boom, you step onto this bridge, walk over to the Random Bedroom, and voila! And there're two more rooms right beside it, the Random Room and the Random Room of Requirement."
"Is that the same as the room Ron talked about?"
"No, because it'll give you what you need, but not necessarily what you were thinking of. For example, you want a place to study. But you also need to go to the bathroom and are hungry. So you might get a library, a desk, a huge, fancy bathroom or a stocked pantry. And the Random Room is just that. Random. You never know WHAT you're going to get if you walk in there!"
George shook his head. "Artemis, I must admit. You are brilliant."
"Why thank you!" Artemis tried, and didn't quite succeed, at looking modest as the two twins hugged her. She blushed as well.
The elevator opened in the form of a portrait outside the Fat Lady and the joint entrance. Tapping the snoring Fat Lady on the shoulder, she whispered the password.
"Hey Lady? Password Theta."
"That's not the password!" Grumbled the Fat Lady in her half-awake state. "At least. . . oh. It is. Sorry." And the painting swung open to reveal a covered walkway leading to a circular landing and three doors.
"Bullseye." The three muttered at the same time. Grinning at each other, they stepped in as the portrait closed, with a final sort of snap, behind them and the floating trunks.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Just a Random Thought: What would we do without rhetorical questions?