I got a strange feeling that the BHT fic is getting more stupid than funny... a PWP I'd say... Well, anyway, I will finish it! Hope that someone is reading this... >
Oh, and sorry for my old English forms, I'm not that good in this... >

'Lok'tar.' the grunt greeted. 'I come sent here by Warchief Thrall.'

'Thrall...' Tyrande said, sort of dreamingly. 'It's been some time now...'

'What does he want?' Vashj asked, not really in the topic. Her Naga were the only ones not fighting in the battle for Mt. Hyjal. But in any case, she was now involved through the service she's sworn to Illidan.

The fact that she didn't trust orcs didn't count now... did it?

The grunt replied: 'There's this funky creature in the Barrens. The Warchief wishes to find out if you know anything about it.'

There was a short pause, in which Furion laughed a few times, while the Blood Elven priests aided the wounded. Sylvos seemed also in quite a good mood.

'Let me guess.' Shan'do said. 'This creature is enormous, pink, cute and you never know what's it up to.'

'Good to hear you already know it.' the grunt replied.

'I wouldn't be so happy...' Sylvanas murmured.

'Will you come to talk with the Warchief?' the orc pressed on.

All heroes looked at one another, Vashj and Kael a bit in the background, for they have less experience with the Horde than the rest. But the ones, who fought the Legion not so long ago slowly, one by one, began to nod and agree.

'We shall go.' Illidan said, waving for Vashj and Kael to join him. 'My Blood Elves and the Naga are to help.'

'Of course we too.' Sylvanas added firmly.

The grunt smiled, seeing so many willing. Thrall will be pleased.

'There's just one more thing.' Furion interrupted. 'I got a bad feeling about humans...'

'What about them?' Tyrande asked, slightly surprised.

Shan'do sighed. When he spoke, his voice was amazingly weak.

'They are the only ones we haven't heard from since the final battle with the Legion... What do you think could've happened?'

Kael, as the one closest to humans, took a step forward and answered:

'This is a bit complicated... Those that remained in Lordaeron should all be dead by now.'

'What makes you so sure?' asked Sylvanas.

The prince sighed. 'Well, the only warriors around there were those of Garithos. They were all killed in the war between you and the dreadlords.'

Varimathras nodded.

'If there are any survivors,' he continue 'they're well hidden and won't show up.'

'And Jaina?' Tyrande pressed on.

Silence.

***

Kel'Thuzad froze.

'But, my King... this is insane!'

Arthas gave him the same sinister grin all villains give anyone that said he's up to no good... even if it's a ridiculous no good.

'Of course, my dear Lich...' he answered smiling, with a silent and very sinister voice. Even Kel'Thuzad got chills. 'That's why we're going to do this. Think of what power we'd get...'

'But it will be hard to gain, my Lord... extremely hard...'

Arthas closed his eyes in the same silent laughter and pulled his servant's face very close to his. Their eyes met few inches away from each other. The mage growled as the strong arm grabbed his neck and pulled him fircely.

'Don't you understand, Kel?' the knight asked, sweetly and sort of mockingly. 'We can handle it. I must succeed. And you will help me.'

Kel'Thuzad nodded, as best as he could with his neck still. Arthas let go of him, as he saw an acolyte run towards hem both. The scene he just witnessed must've looked very suspicious, but as any faithful servant, the acolyte acted like he didn't notice.

'King Arthas, I bring news from Dalaran ruins.' he announced. The knight nodded in a gesture of permission. 'The survivors left it to join the Proudmoore girl in Kalimdor.'

'Kalimdor?' Arthas blinked. 'She's still there?'

'I guess she had nowhere to go.' Kel'Thuzad answered, rubbing his neckbone without much sense at all.

'Less humans to take care of...' the king said shortly and turned around. 'Now let's-'

He paused. The silent wind blew through the empty Capitol City, carrying the scent of death and decay everywhere. Though Arthas and his two companions didn't notice, for they stood petrified.

'Where is everyone...?' the knight breathed.

The acolyte swallowed audiably. The four drilling eyes turned to him. 'Well?' the heroes said together.

'Um, you see, my King... It's just... um, I mean...'

'Spit it out!!' Kel'Thuzad yelled.

'Eeek!!!' the servant nearly fell over. 'I-I mean there's a Blight Guardian c-concert somewhere near Silvermoon ruins...'

Despite his worst thought, Arthas took a deep breath and said, rubbing his eyes:

'Just go and get everyone back here, we don't have time...'

The acolyte departed, glad of how things turned out, while Arthas and Kel'Thuzad remained silent.

'My King...' the Lich began after a moment. 'What do you think can still happen?'

'How about a flying cow that plays the trombone, collapsing skies and undead Nerubians dancing poka?' the knight answered i na mocking tone. 'I don't know, and I don't think I want to know!'

'The problem here, my Lord, is that you probably will have to...'

'Someone shoot me...'

***

The camp was peaceful and quiet, as all the time since that faithful battle. Luckily not many warriors and mages died, so they could move and set up a new establishment here, near the orcs. Maybe they should follow and create a new kingdom over here? Next to Durotar... that doesn't sound so bad. The area is quite fine. This could work...

There's just one problem. Though most of dangerous monsters have been killed or forced to leave, there still was this pink creature. It's footsteps caused the ground to shake. And now it was sitting in this canyon, just like that, hugging centaurs... Like an infant...

The powerful young archmage and leader of Lordaeron survivors, Jaina Proudmoore, sighed deeply and shook her head, still observing the Thing from below. As she was standing there, deep in thought, a knight approached her.

'Is something worrying thee, milady?'

'Not really...'

The man gazed into the deep pit, on the pink monstrousity.

'What does thou want us to do with it?'

'Leave it be.' jaina said, though weakly. 'It didn't cause us any problem so far, do there's no reason to kill it.

'As thou wishes.'

'Miss Proudmoore!' a girl called behind them. 'There's a letter for you! A... a crow brought it!'

The archmage blinked a few times. She remembered a raven, and many crows, powerul crows... But thse memories were blurred, fogged with problems of the present. She kept on digging in her own mind, trying to recall where and when has she seen the images now popping out.

Slowly she began to remember. She recalled a tall, long-eared man with violet skin and a long beared, who changed into a crow...

That's it, she thought and unsealed the letter. She read it slowly, and when she was done, she rolled the parchment and gave it to the knight.

'We're going to Durotar.' she said firmly.

'Durotar?' the man asked surprised. 'To the orcs? Why is that?'

'Because we're needed.' Jaina answered shortly. 'Gather a few warrior right away and we're leaving.'

The knight growled, yet he obeyed the order and reluctantly headed towards the camp. The archmage smiled.

'Who is that letter from, milady?' the village girl asked.

Jaina smiled wider and looked north, to were a huge forest was recovering.

'An old friend.'

***

Meanwhile, the rest of the allied heroes gathered in Orgrimmar, capitol of the new orcish land, Durotar. There was only one of them missing and impatiently awaited...

'Jaina should be here soon.' Tyrande said. Despite her words, her voice showed more hope than confidence. 'She's not far, as the druids said...'

'Another ally...' Vashj said, more to herself than anyone else. 'With such forces we might be able to defeat the Scourge...'

Illidan, that was sitting on a boulder and gazing into nothingness with his blind eyes, spoke quite silently:

'If we do, our forces will be weakened. A great chance for Kil'jaeden to strike.'

'But if we defeat him first,' Sylvanas added 'the undead will attack.'

'So we're stuck.' Kael concluded.

Probably someone would say something else, maybe even he'd solve a problem or answer an unanswered question, but once again Fate rolled the dice and lost a game with Coincidence.

Maiev arrived.

All eyes turned to her, except for Illidan, who remained motionless. The Warden approached them all on weak legs and managed to say:

'Ishnu-dal-dieb... Shan'do...'

'Why are you so wet?' Furion asked instead of greeting.

Maiev sat, or should I say - fell on her butt and breathed: 'That's not... important, Shan'do... I have to tell you something...'

'Go ahead.' the druid encouraged her, peeking to see, what his brother was doing. Fortuneatly and quite strangely, Illidan was still motionless. He seemed to be in his private world now.

'While I was in Lordaeron...' the Warden began.

'Lordaeron?' Tyrande interrupted. 'What were you doing out there?'

'Nevermind, priestess, what's more important is what I saw. I was attacked by a giant mon-'

'Pink monster.' Illidan finished, cutting her sentence. 'It's enormous and extremely cute.'

Only then did Maiev noticed him.

'You...!!' she managed to say. 'Betrayer! How dare you enter these woods again!?'

Everyone around her yawned.

'Is that all you can do?' Vashj asked.

Furion cleared his throat and said firmly:

'There's peace, Maiev. I've cleansed my brother of his guilt, though his sins can never be forgotten.'

'B-but... justice must...'

'Justice is more blind than I am.' Illidan replied sharply.

'You condemned the wrong person.' Kael added.

Sylvanas, tired of this never-ending conflict, also cleared her throat and said:

'Not that I really know what's going on between you all, but I strongly suggest we focus on our enemies.'

'Arthas.' said Thrall.

'Kil'jaeden.' added Vashj.

'And that pink monster.' Illidan concluded.

'Right.' Sylvanas said. 'I don't know about you, but as for me, it's personal. We got to get rid of that thing.'

Thrall opened his mouth to give a reply, but before he could do so, Jaina appeared in front of him in a circle of blue light.

'Sorry for being late.' she said. 'Seems I'm the last one to join.'

'It's nothing, Jaina.' Tyrande answered. 'Nice to see you again.'

'Yeah, it's been a while...' Furion added.

'So, now that we are all here,' Illidan interrupted 'what's our first move?'

Maiev cleared her throat in a sign of don't-ask-me-I-don't-know state, while Kael and Vashj stared patiently at Shan'do and the Warchief, awaiting instructions.

There was a short pause, but after a few horrible chords whistled by Sylvos Furion decided to say:

'Now we can attack.'

'Attack who?'

'The Big Hairy Thing.'

***

Maiev has joined her elven brethren in preparations for battle with the Thing. All seems clear, yet the Scourge has a mysterios plan ready. Will they succeed? Or maybe the world's greatest alliance will prevent it? And is Kil'jaeden plotting?

The final battle draws close...

END OF CHAPTER FIVE