This is finally the end. I addedd a few things to give a bit more humour into this chapter. Sorry if some may be hard to understand - princess Calia is not too known, actually... But she exists. And may be just the perfect source of humour I need...
Thanks to Rufus for making up what can the Thing actually be. Plus I got a better role for Kil'jaeden thanks to that.
Kel'Thuzad approached his king on a rocky, barren hill. Arthas was standing, deep in thought, and gazing down on the slumbering Big Hairy Thing.
Even the weather was calm - there was no wind, no clouds. The moon rose high, though appeared only in half of its majesty. It illuminated the improvised undead camp, hidden between boulders and dry trees from the eyes of enemies.
Kel'Thuzad also gazed into the pit. He thought of the plan Arthas made up few days ago and how he called it insane. Now, as he recalled it part by part, it didn't sound that stupid at all. More of it, it made perfect sense.
Even sounded possible.
'What are we going to do tonight, my King?' the Lich asked.
'Same as every night, Kel.' Arthas answered, grinning. 'Try to take over the world!'
Silence. Everyone around stared at them dumbly. The knight coughed.
'I mean, er... cough... I think we should start with the plan. The moment is, er, perfect... And... yeah... it is and... yeah.'
Kel'Thuzad remained still and - not having much to say about this one - expressionless. As a very faithful servant, who he was indeed, he simply nodded.
He left to prepare everything. Thus Arthas was left alone above the Thing. The only sound were its loud shores and the sound of a crushed rock or centaur from time to time.
This was a good moment for him to initate the plan, for the creature was now asleep. But on the other hand, it's also the best moment for the night elves to strike. If he's lucky, he'll succeed. If not...
He's dead.
A necromancer came.
'My King, there's someone that wishes to see you.'
Arthas blinked. 'Like who?'
'A female human, my Lord.'
***
The armies marched. One by one, under cover of darkness and silence. The moon shone wearily, as if it wished to sleep. It was partly covered with dark grey clouds that stopped most of the light. None of the warriors made any sound, walking like cats at hunt. The air's gone heavy and hot. Yet they marched on.
Suddenly one of those in the front stopped and the rest followed with a short delay, those in the back bouncing at those before them. A girl waited patiently for the rumour of iron and curses to die, and then turned around.
'That was kind of loud.' said Kael, one of the elves that had ears longer and more sensible than other races.
'We're here.' Jaina announced and pointed at a pit few feet behind her. 'Furtuneatly' she added sharply 'you didn't wake it up.'
Furion was about to order some of the troops to strike and finally end this pathetic comedy, but Illidan patted his arm to prevent it and shook his head.
'Undead.' he said. 'On the other side.'
Shan'do gazed there, narrowing his eyebrows a bit.
He noticed a dark shape, too far away even for a night elf to see it well. But it's identity was clear enough. The shape was humanoidal, tall and had a sword tied to its side. As Furion noticed a moment later, it was talking with another shape that stood further in the dark.
The druid nodded. 'Arthas is plannning something.' he said. 'This doesn't sound good...'
Tyrande concentrated her eyes on the second shape, the one with which the knight was now talking. Or maybe arguing? It was hard to tell from this distance. But in any case that shape seemed very suspicious. If Kael took a look, he'd find it familiar.
'That's strange...' the priestess murmured. 'What is a human girl doing in undead camps?'
***
'What the hell do you think you're doing?!' Arthas hissed as loud as his clenched teeth allowed him to.
'I expected a warmer welcome.' the woman answered. Her voice was full of nobility and majesty, sounded clearly, yet firmly and sharply. She stood before the knight in a very proud pose, dressed in a long, velvet, green dress. It had loads of silver and gold elements, which even in Kel'Thuzad's opinion looked ridiculous.
But try to tell her about it.
'A warmer what? You expected the undead to welcome you?!'
'Don't forget that I am the princess of Lordaeron, in which your people now live, if you recall.'
'B-but... Lord... doh!!' Arthas buried his face in his hand and sighed loudly. 'This doesn't have sense... Listen, Calia, I was the rightfule heir! The throne of Lordaeron belongs to me!'
The girl called Calia took a step forward, as if it the previous position was making her tired.
'But you betrayed us before our father passed away, so I should receive the crown. These undead should listen to me as well as to you.'
Arthas' jaw fell open. He went speechless, while his sister (older, I should add) grinned and awaited his reaction. After a few long and silent moments the knight sighed again and turned to his faithful Lich.
'Kel, please, take care of princess Calia, so that she doesn't do any damage...'
Kel'Thuzad nodded slowly, though he'd rather give his bones away to dogs or employ himself at a university as a sample. But none of these options was possible now, so he had no other choice than to agree.
This will be a long and painful night...
***
'So they came.' Arthas said. He noticed movement on the other side of the pit. He couldn't tell what was going on out there, yet he was expecting someone right now. And he had a funny feeling they came.
This is taking too long, he thought. It will never be done before dawn breaks, unless they hurry up. The hell is going on in that camp...?
He anxiously entered it, not really expecting anything - he was only sure that something bad will happen. Bad, and mostly ridiculoud things happened one by one lately. He looked around to see all acolytes at work and his warriors gathering at their positions... Yet something was defineatly wrong.
'By the Lich King!!!'
Arthas turned around. The shout came from a small mob behind. The undead there were anxious, some laughing. And in the middle, Kel'Thuzad stood yelling.
The knight approached them and squeezed through to reach the Lich. Kel'Thuzad looked at him with a very pitiful gaze. Arthas froze.
There they were. Standing just like that, on one of the so-called streets near Arthas' Black Citadel. Standing like they always did, but this time disguisting all his people and himself, defineatly not fitting to the environment. Like a snake in Northrend, they were there...
... the mean wagons covered in pink and blue flowers.
'Dear gods...!!' Arthas breathed. 'What on...?'
He paused. The cruel and painful truth struck him.
'CALIA!!!'
'You yelled, brother mine?' the princess asked from behind.
Arthas was panting, completely red on the face (yes, it is possible). His teeth and fists were clenched, as if he was about to damage himself by doing this. 'Yes, I did.' he breathed and pointed at the terrifying wagons.
'Oh, so you noticed my flowers.' the girl squeaked. Usually her voice was medium and calm, but now it went high beyond the normal scale. 'Aren't they adorable?'
Kel'Thuzad strongly prevented himself from hitting a wall with his head a few times, but Arthas was getting more and more angry. Fury paralized his muscles, but he seemed not to notice. When you don't know you can't do something - you do it. The knight cursed loudly several times.
'You trying to tell me...' he panted 'that these are my... weapons?!'
Calia surveyed the wagons. 'Well...' she began, with her usual annoying majesty 'it doesn't look any like weapons to me... I thought it was junk...'
'Junk...?' Kel'Thuzad breathed.
'... so I decided to do something about it.' the princess ignored them. 'This place is so gloomy and dark... you should do something about this, brother...'
The undead were petrified. Calia was the first to ever dare to do such things. Everyone feared the Scourge, feared their darkness and lives that cannot be taken away...
But what does she care?
'And that spider-like architecture...' the princess went on. 'It's so disguisting! You should put something sweeter here, perhaps some kittens, remember thst our father was quite arachnophobic...'
Arthas wasn't listening. All he wished for now was to get rid of her once and for all...
So why the hell doesn't he order to just kill her?!
'Speaking of spiders,' Kel'Thuzad said 'where is our Nerubian ally?'
'Anub'arak? I ordered him to prepare an ambush around the base in case the elves attack.'
'And what should I do with her, my King?'
The knight sighed. 'Just lock her up... for now...'
***
Illidan was gazing at the undead base. Though he could not see anything, he knew very well what's to come. The Scourge was preparing something and it won't be anything good... defineatly not for them. Not for the new alliance.
His most faithful servant, Kael'thas approached him silently, as if not wanting to deconcentrate his master. Illidan sighed deeply and said into nothingness:
'One way or the highway...'
Kael blinked. 'Excuse me?'
'What?'
'What did you just say, my Lord?'
The Hunter didn't hide his surprise. 'What do you mean? I said "One way or the highway"...'
The mage coughed.
'That's the point, my Lord... you couldn't have.'
Illidan stood still... perhaps stunned. 'But I just did!'
The youner elf shook his head. 'Highways weren't invented yet.'
The blind nearly fell over. 'I just did that!'
'You couldn't have, my Lord, there's no such thing as cars yet!'
'Oh, for heaven's sake...!'
Fortuneatly for them, the idiotic arguement was interrupted by Jaina and Thrall, who stood behind the two elves for a few minutes and held their laughter.
'You wanted something?' Illidan asked sharply, not turning his head away from Kael.
'Everything is prepared.' the orc announced. 'We shall strike soon.'
***
Thus preparations on both sides of the canyon were slowly heading towards their end.
On one side, few rows of elven archers and dwarven shooters stood still, ready to welcome the enemy with a rain of arrows and bullets. Behind them were placed dryads and troll head hunters, surrounding mages and druids. Their duty was to guard the spellcasters, while the latter were using their powers. At the end of the army barricade, melee units, useless for now, surrounded many various siege weapons. The air forces of the new alliance were for now awaiting their signal on the ground. And all the leaders - Thrall, Jaina, Illidan, Furion and others - were standing somewhere amongst the warriors, watching the other edge of the pit.
There the situation was very similar, if not identical. Only that instead of the archers stood skeletal archers, instead of mages - necromancers and so on. Arthas, Kel'Thuzad and Anub'arak were also trying to spot the enemy's moves in this semi-darkness.
Dawn was quickly closing in. Furion was the fastest to notice that the day is the worst moment for this battle. He gave an order and almost together all his archers and dwarven shooters attacked.
A dark, thick cloud covered the sky, hiding the rising sun and setting down moon behind. It stood still for a moment shorter than any eye can see, and rushed down with incredible speed. The arrows fell in three waves at the rows od undead, while the bullets sent there by dwarves flew in a horizonal course.
Some of the undead didn't react fast enough. Arrows went through their corpses and heads, bullets damaging their limbs. Most of the injured ones were standing in the first two rows, at the very edge of the pit. In streams of blood and loud moans they tried to squeeze to the back, while others were rushing to their places. Arthas cursed himself for not attacking first.
'Bringing the air forces in won't be a good idea.' Kel'Thuzad thought aloud. 'Not now.'
'We must counter that somehow...' the King added, but not as firmly as he'd wish to. 'Bring in the wagons!'
His siege weapons, some still wearing on occasional flower, were pushed to the front by acolytes. They aimed at the army opposite. Arthas slowly raised his Frostmourne, the legendary sword of destruction, and lowered it with one firm and fast move.
At that signal the wagons fired. At the sight of the rotting meat falling, the front forces of the alliance began retreating in chaos. Furion waved his staff and the chimaeras, griffins and wyverns rose from the ground. The griffins and their dwarven riders were preventing the meat shells from reaching the ground army.
Yet some did. It was amazing what can a piece of raw and rotting meat do to a body. Those that got hit were not merely injured - their wounds spreaded and incredible odour and were for sure infested with something nasty. Some of the victims began vomitting at the very beginning, what made them unable to act.
The chimaeras and wyverns rushed forwar to reach the very wagons. Arthas' sword pointed at them and his skeletal archers fired at the incoming wave. At the very same moment, the stone statues behind him rose and the gargoyles flew towards the enemy. Thrall screamed for their air warriors to concentrate at the ground forces and avoid the impact of gargoyles. At Tyrande's command, the archers that were still able to attack tamed the elven hippogryphs and welcomed the undead air forces with another rain of arrows.
'Stop the necromancers!!' Furion yelled. 'Stop them!!'
Right after them some fairy dragons, supported by dragon hawks and their elven riders, reached the other side of the pit and morphed into shiny, moon-like blue orbs. Some of them didn't last long, yet most survived thanks to the support of the Blood Elves that also trapped some frost wyrms in their nets as an easy prey for others.
'Our last hope lies in you!' Arthas, seeing his troops slowly falling, yelled at Kel'Thuzad. 'They won't reach you back here! Cast it!!'
The Lich hesitated. 'But what if we need it later...?'
'NOW!!'
Kel'Thuzad, surprised by his king's desperate voice, reached out with his hands and began murmuring some strange words. Arthas understood none, but he didn't care at all. Blue lights appeared ay the Lich's hands. He was about to finish the incantation. This is it, Arthas thought. He may balance the scales at our favour...
The ground shook.
All the ground warriors tried hard to stand still, some falling down. Kel'Thuzad's spell broke, nearly done. He cursed loudly, catching his falling king in mid-air. Tyrande's tiger didn't have enough luck and fell over, causing the priestess to hit the ground.
'What the-?' Kael breathed.
They all froze in place, as a loud, though somehow sweet roar-mew-like sound reached their ears.
The Big Hairy Thing awoke.
There was a moment's silence, when everyone drew their breath in. Only Arthas remained quite consious, his face wearing an insane smile.
'NOW!!!' he yelled. 'NOW!!!'
Taking adventage of the enemy's confusion, the crypt fiends came out of the line. Kel'Thuzad held his laughter at the sighed ot the variously coloured ribbons Calia must've gave them. The spiders ran towards the rising pink monstrousity and began throwing their nets at it, pinning it to the ground.
None of the alliance's leaders knew what to do.
'Yes!!' the death knight shouted. 'We've got it!!!'
Just then the Thing has noticed him. It surveyed him with it's cat eyes and smiled widely, exposing the yellow teeth.
'Awthas?' it squeaked.
Around it a million jaws fell open.
'It-it talks?!' Illidan breathed.
'Talks?!' Arthas coughed. 'It knows me!!!'
No one dared to move, as the giant, furry, bubble-gum pink hand freed itself and reached for the death knight. When he was being delicately pulled up, the king's voice bacame amazingly high-pitched, as he squeaked. Still no one around himmoved. Arthas struggled and groaned in the tight grip, but the Thing seemed not to notice and hugged him tighly. Kel'Thuzad moaned, as his master was pressed against the furry chest and hidden in both fists. Moans and groans were heard from there. Won't he lack air...?
Calia gazed at the Thing's face. 'I-I think I...'
Anub'arak and Kel'Thuzad gazed at her.
'I... recognise it now...'
The Big Hairy Thing exposed Arthas in its palm again. The king's face took quite a comical expression, as he tried to catch breath. He heard Calia shouting something, but understood nothing from the height. He saw his two leutainants stare at him in shick, fear and amusement. He clenched his teeth in fury. What a moment this creature has chosen to awake...!
'Put me down!' he yelled. 'Put me down, you damn imitation of a plushie-!!'
He paused, much to the surprise of others. A big audience he had, really. He covered his mouth in one hand and recalle the words he just said. The Thing mewed.
Then there was silence.
'Im... impossible...' Arthas mumbled.
While everyone kept quiet, Calia managed to shout loud enough for him to hear.
'Arthas, I recognise it!!'
The knights nerves were numb, yet he answered, quite quietly: 'So do I... So do I...'
The Big Hairy Thing didn't care about anything at all ans slowly pulled Arthas closer to lick him all over. The king noticed it and desperately sought for a way out of there, crowling to the edge of the huge palm. Fortuneatly, Kel'Thuzad also noticed the threat of a giant, hard tongue and in a second, a gargoyle grabbed the knight by his shoulders and brought him to the safe ground.
The Thing mewed in dissapointment.
'Th-thanks, Kel...' Arthas breathed.
Calia was still the pink creature. It sat down on the undead side of the canyon, crushing some of the slower troops.
'How could this be...?' she said into the air.
'I got no idea...' the death knight breathed 'but I don't like it at all...'
Suddenly, the leaders of the opposite side all flew to them on hippogryphs, Illidan using hos own wings. Some of the more consious skeletal archers aimed to shoot at them, but lowered their bows at one wave of the Frostmourne. The heroes disembarked right in front of the undead trio.
'Mind telling us what the hell is it?' Furion asked.
'Well...' Calia began, but Arthas gave her a sharp look. She silenced.
'You see,' the king began 'this... this thing is actually... you won't believe...'
'Spit it out!' Vashj ordered.
Arthas sighed. 'It's my old plushie.'
There was a short pause, in which everyone except him and his sister gathered themselves from the ground.
'Come again?' Illidan asked, clearing his ear.
'You heard me well.' the king answered flatly. 'This is the plush toy my father gave me for my fifth birthday.'
'He must've spent a lot of golf to buy you this.' Maiev commented.
'It wasn't this big!' Arthas sweatdropped. 'Something enlarged it and threw in a meteor... Ait it destroyed the Frozen Throne...'
He was greeted by several pairs of shocked eyes. He growled and took a step backwards, nearly falling over.
'Way the go, Death Knight.' Anub'arak said. 'Congratulate your big mouth.'
Arthas spent the next few minutes hitting himself on the head, despite Kel'Thuzad's protests, while the rest surveyed him with sharp and terrified looks. This was too much for one day.
Defineatly too much.
Due to that none spoke. The Throne was no more. The heart of the Scourge... Crushed by a meteor? This can't be... still...
'Wait a minute...' Illidan said, sort of coming out of a coma. 'This thing destoyed the Frozen Throne?'
Arthas nodded, defeated.
'So this means that...'
'Indeed.'
They all turned around, to where the voice came from. They were right.
Kil'jaeden.
'It's all my work.' he said, sounding proud of himself.
Calia raised her eyebrow. 'This?' she pointed at the Thing, which was now tightly hugging a hysterically yelling necromancer. Kil'jaeden nodded.
Illidan coughed. 'Why the bloody hell would such a demon like you give life to an enlarged plushie?'
'Why, it's simple.' the demon lord began to explain. 'You see, when you, Illidan, failed me,' he send him a sharp look, which the hunter fortuneatly could not see 'I decided to deal with things my own way.'
'By sending a toy?' Kel'thuzad asked.
'Exactly. I was sure that Arthas does not remember it, but I was hoping that his subconsiousness would prevent him from killing it. I raised its powers to be certain.'
Furion slightly shook his head. 'The most stupid idea I've ever heard... still a successful one.'
Kil'jaeden nodded, grinning proudly. He stood there just like that, while Calia turned to her undead brother. To her great surprise, Arthas was gazing at the cheerful Thing. His teeth and fists were clenched, and his eyes were... watering with tears?
He instantly turned around: 'WHAT DID YOU DO TO EDDY?!'
All the heroes sent him dumb looks. 'Eddy?'
Once more the knight hit himself on the head, biting his tongue at the same time.
'Yes, I remember now.' Jaina answered. 'I remember Arthas calling one of his teddy's Eddy, but I had no idea it's this one.'
Calia nodded in confirmation. Arthas pur himself together and continued shouting at Kil'jaeden. Illidan sighed and shook his head, waving for all his friends and allies to follow him. They left the demon to be yelled ay by the furious king, and the princess to stand behind sweatdropping. Not long after the Thing took some of undead warriors and departed in an unknown direction through the barren battlefield.
***
No one knows what has happened to Eddy. Any search initiated by Arthas has failed, so the king finally gave it all up. All the heroes and world leaders decided to forget about the incident that involved the Big Hairy Thing and concentrate on the unfinished war.
Now you can ask, who will win this war? What shall be the next moves of either sides? Will the Thing ever return? We will never know.
On the other hand... who cares?
THE END
Thanks to Rufus for making up what can the Thing actually be. Plus I got a better role for Kil'jaeden thanks to that.
Kel'Thuzad approached his king on a rocky, barren hill. Arthas was standing, deep in thought, and gazing down on the slumbering Big Hairy Thing.
Even the weather was calm - there was no wind, no clouds. The moon rose high, though appeared only in half of its majesty. It illuminated the improvised undead camp, hidden between boulders and dry trees from the eyes of enemies.
Kel'Thuzad also gazed into the pit. He thought of the plan Arthas made up few days ago and how he called it insane. Now, as he recalled it part by part, it didn't sound that stupid at all. More of it, it made perfect sense.
Even sounded possible.
'What are we going to do tonight, my King?' the Lich asked.
'Same as every night, Kel.' Arthas answered, grinning. 'Try to take over the world!'
Silence. Everyone around stared at them dumbly. The knight coughed.
'I mean, er... cough... I think we should start with the plan. The moment is, er, perfect... And... yeah... it is and... yeah.'
Kel'Thuzad remained still and - not having much to say about this one - expressionless. As a very faithful servant, who he was indeed, he simply nodded.
He left to prepare everything. Thus Arthas was left alone above the Thing. The only sound were its loud shores and the sound of a crushed rock or centaur from time to time.
This was a good moment for him to initate the plan, for the creature was now asleep. But on the other hand, it's also the best moment for the night elves to strike. If he's lucky, he'll succeed. If not...
He's dead.
A necromancer came.
'My King, there's someone that wishes to see you.'
Arthas blinked. 'Like who?'
'A female human, my Lord.'
The armies marched. One by one, under cover of darkness and silence. The moon shone wearily, as if it wished to sleep. It was partly covered with dark grey clouds that stopped most of the light. None of the warriors made any sound, walking like cats at hunt. The air's gone heavy and hot. Yet they marched on.
Suddenly one of those in the front stopped and the rest followed with a short delay, those in the back bouncing at those before them. A girl waited patiently for the rumour of iron and curses to die, and then turned around.
'That was kind of loud.' said Kael, one of the elves that had ears longer and more sensible than other races.
'We're here.' Jaina announced and pointed at a pit few feet behind her. 'Furtuneatly' she added sharply 'you didn't wake it up.'
Furion was about to order some of the troops to strike and finally end this pathetic comedy, but Illidan patted his arm to prevent it and shook his head.
'Undead.' he said. 'On the other side.'
Shan'do gazed there, narrowing his eyebrows a bit.
He noticed a dark shape, too far away even for a night elf to see it well. But it's identity was clear enough. The shape was humanoidal, tall and had a sword tied to its side. As Furion noticed a moment later, it was talking with another shape that stood further in the dark.
The druid nodded. 'Arthas is plannning something.' he said. 'This doesn't sound good...'
Tyrande concentrated her eyes on the second shape, the one with which the knight was now talking. Or maybe arguing? It was hard to tell from this distance. But in any case that shape seemed very suspicious. If Kael took a look, he'd find it familiar.
'That's strange...' the priestess murmured. 'What is a human girl doing in undead camps?'
'What the hell do you think you're doing?!' Arthas hissed as loud as his clenched teeth allowed him to.
'I expected a warmer welcome.' the woman answered. Her voice was full of nobility and majesty, sounded clearly, yet firmly and sharply. She stood before the knight in a very proud pose, dressed in a long, velvet, green dress. It had loads of silver and gold elements, which even in Kel'Thuzad's opinion looked ridiculous.
But try to tell her about it.
'A warmer what? You expected the undead to welcome you?!'
'Don't forget that I am the princess of Lordaeron, in which your people now live, if you recall.'
'B-but... Lord... doh!!' Arthas buried his face in his hand and sighed loudly. 'This doesn't have sense... Listen, Calia, I was the rightfule heir! The throne of Lordaeron belongs to me!'
The girl called Calia took a step forward, as if it the previous position was making her tired.
'But you betrayed us before our father passed away, so I should receive the crown. These undead should listen to me as well as to you.'
Arthas' jaw fell open. He went speechless, while his sister (older, I should add) grinned and awaited his reaction. After a few long and silent moments the knight sighed again and turned to his faithful Lich.
'Kel, please, take care of princess Calia, so that she doesn't do any damage...'
Kel'Thuzad nodded slowly, though he'd rather give his bones away to dogs or employ himself at a university as a sample. But none of these options was possible now, so he had no other choice than to agree.
This will be a long and painful night...
'So they came.' Arthas said. He noticed movement on the other side of the pit. He couldn't tell what was going on out there, yet he was expecting someone right now. And he had a funny feeling they came.
This is taking too long, he thought. It will never be done before dawn breaks, unless they hurry up. The hell is going on in that camp...?
He anxiously entered it, not really expecting anything - he was only sure that something bad will happen. Bad, and mostly ridiculoud things happened one by one lately. He looked around to see all acolytes at work and his warriors gathering at their positions... Yet something was defineatly wrong.
'By the Lich King!!!'
Arthas turned around. The shout came from a small mob behind. The undead there were anxious, some laughing. And in the middle, Kel'Thuzad stood yelling.
The knight approached them and squeezed through to reach the Lich. Kel'Thuzad looked at him with a very pitiful gaze. Arthas froze.
There they were. Standing just like that, on one of the so-called streets near Arthas' Black Citadel. Standing like they always did, but this time disguisting all his people and himself, defineatly not fitting to the environment. Like a snake in Northrend, they were there...
... the mean wagons covered in pink and blue flowers.
'Dear gods...!!' Arthas breathed. 'What on...?'
He paused. The cruel and painful truth struck him.
'CALIA!!!'
'You yelled, brother mine?' the princess asked from behind.
Arthas was panting, completely red on the face (yes, it is possible). His teeth and fists were clenched, as if he was about to damage himself by doing this. 'Yes, I did.' he breathed and pointed at the terrifying wagons.
'Oh, so you noticed my flowers.' the girl squeaked. Usually her voice was medium and calm, but now it went high beyond the normal scale. 'Aren't they adorable?'
Kel'Thuzad strongly prevented himself from hitting a wall with his head a few times, but Arthas was getting more and more angry. Fury paralized his muscles, but he seemed not to notice. When you don't know you can't do something - you do it. The knight cursed loudly several times.
'You trying to tell me...' he panted 'that these are my... weapons?!'
Calia surveyed the wagons. 'Well...' she began, with her usual annoying majesty 'it doesn't look any like weapons to me... I thought it was junk...'
'Junk...?' Kel'Thuzad breathed.
'... so I decided to do something about it.' the princess ignored them. 'This place is so gloomy and dark... you should do something about this, brother...'
The undead were petrified. Calia was the first to ever dare to do such things. Everyone feared the Scourge, feared their darkness and lives that cannot be taken away...
But what does she care?
'And that spider-like architecture...' the princess went on. 'It's so disguisting! You should put something sweeter here, perhaps some kittens, remember thst our father was quite arachnophobic...'
Arthas wasn't listening. All he wished for now was to get rid of her once and for all...
So why the hell doesn't he order to just kill her?!
'Speaking of spiders,' Kel'Thuzad said 'where is our Nerubian ally?'
'Anub'arak? I ordered him to prepare an ambush around the base in case the elves attack.'
'And what should I do with her, my King?'
The knight sighed. 'Just lock her up... for now...'
Illidan was gazing at the undead base. Though he could not see anything, he knew very well what's to come. The Scourge was preparing something and it won't be anything good... defineatly not for them. Not for the new alliance.
His most faithful servant, Kael'thas approached him silently, as if not wanting to deconcentrate his master. Illidan sighed deeply and said into nothingness:
'One way or the highway...'
Kael blinked. 'Excuse me?'
'What?'
'What did you just say, my Lord?'
The Hunter didn't hide his surprise. 'What do you mean? I said "One way or the highway"...'
The mage coughed.
'That's the point, my Lord... you couldn't have.'
Illidan stood still... perhaps stunned. 'But I just did!'
The youner elf shook his head. 'Highways weren't invented yet.'
The blind nearly fell over. 'I just did that!'
'You couldn't have, my Lord, there's no such thing as cars yet!'
'Oh, for heaven's sake...!'
Fortuneatly for them, the idiotic arguement was interrupted by Jaina and Thrall, who stood behind the two elves for a few minutes and held their laughter.
'You wanted something?' Illidan asked sharply, not turning his head away from Kael.
'Everything is prepared.' the orc announced. 'We shall strike soon.'
Thus preparations on both sides of the canyon were slowly heading towards their end.
On one side, few rows of elven archers and dwarven shooters stood still, ready to welcome the enemy with a rain of arrows and bullets. Behind them were placed dryads and troll head hunters, surrounding mages and druids. Their duty was to guard the spellcasters, while the latter were using their powers. At the end of the army barricade, melee units, useless for now, surrounded many various siege weapons. The air forces of the new alliance were for now awaiting their signal on the ground. And all the leaders - Thrall, Jaina, Illidan, Furion and others - were standing somewhere amongst the warriors, watching the other edge of the pit.
There the situation was very similar, if not identical. Only that instead of the archers stood skeletal archers, instead of mages - necromancers and so on. Arthas, Kel'Thuzad and Anub'arak were also trying to spot the enemy's moves in this semi-darkness.
Dawn was quickly closing in. Furion was the fastest to notice that the day is the worst moment for this battle. He gave an order and almost together all his archers and dwarven shooters attacked.
A dark, thick cloud covered the sky, hiding the rising sun and setting down moon behind. It stood still for a moment shorter than any eye can see, and rushed down with incredible speed. The arrows fell in three waves at the rows od undead, while the bullets sent there by dwarves flew in a horizonal course.
Some of the undead didn't react fast enough. Arrows went through their corpses and heads, bullets damaging their limbs. Most of the injured ones were standing in the first two rows, at the very edge of the pit. In streams of blood and loud moans they tried to squeeze to the back, while others were rushing to their places. Arthas cursed himself for not attacking first.
'Bringing the air forces in won't be a good idea.' Kel'Thuzad thought aloud. 'Not now.'
'We must counter that somehow...' the King added, but not as firmly as he'd wish to. 'Bring in the wagons!'
His siege weapons, some still wearing on occasional flower, were pushed to the front by acolytes. They aimed at the army opposite. Arthas slowly raised his Frostmourne, the legendary sword of destruction, and lowered it with one firm and fast move.
At that signal the wagons fired. At the sight of the rotting meat falling, the front forces of the alliance began retreating in chaos. Furion waved his staff and the chimaeras, griffins and wyverns rose from the ground. The griffins and their dwarven riders were preventing the meat shells from reaching the ground army.
Yet some did. It was amazing what can a piece of raw and rotting meat do to a body. Those that got hit were not merely injured - their wounds spreaded and incredible odour and were for sure infested with something nasty. Some of the victims began vomitting at the very beginning, what made them unable to act.
The chimaeras and wyverns rushed forwar to reach the very wagons. Arthas' sword pointed at them and his skeletal archers fired at the incoming wave. At the very same moment, the stone statues behind him rose and the gargoyles flew towards the enemy. Thrall screamed for their air warriors to concentrate at the ground forces and avoid the impact of gargoyles. At Tyrande's command, the archers that were still able to attack tamed the elven hippogryphs and welcomed the undead air forces with another rain of arrows.
'Stop the necromancers!!' Furion yelled. 'Stop them!!'
Right after them some fairy dragons, supported by dragon hawks and their elven riders, reached the other side of the pit and morphed into shiny, moon-like blue orbs. Some of them didn't last long, yet most survived thanks to the support of the Blood Elves that also trapped some frost wyrms in their nets as an easy prey for others.
'Our last hope lies in you!' Arthas, seeing his troops slowly falling, yelled at Kel'Thuzad. 'They won't reach you back here! Cast it!!'
The Lich hesitated. 'But what if we need it later...?'
'NOW!!'
Kel'Thuzad, surprised by his king's desperate voice, reached out with his hands and began murmuring some strange words. Arthas understood none, but he didn't care at all. Blue lights appeared ay the Lich's hands. He was about to finish the incantation. This is it, Arthas thought. He may balance the scales at our favour...
The ground shook.
All the ground warriors tried hard to stand still, some falling down. Kel'Thuzad's spell broke, nearly done. He cursed loudly, catching his falling king in mid-air. Tyrande's tiger didn't have enough luck and fell over, causing the priestess to hit the ground.
'What the-?' Kael breathed.
They all froze in place, as a loud, though somehow sweet roar-mew-like sound reached their ears.
The Big Hairy Thing awoke.
There was a moment's silence, when everyone drew their breath in. Only Arthas remained quite consious, his face wearing an insane smile.
'NOW!!!' he yelled. 'NOW!!!'
Taking adventage of the enemy's confusion, the crypt fiends came out of the line. Kel'Thuzad held his laughter at the sighed ot the variously coloured ribbons Calia must've gave them. The spiders ran towards the rising pink monstrousity and began throwing their nets at it, pinning it to the ground.
None of the alliance's leaders knew what to do.
'Yes!!' the death knight shouted. 'We've got it!!!'
Just then the Thing has noticed him. It surveyed him with it's cat eyes and smiled widely, exposing the yellow teeth.
'Awthas?' it squeaked.
Around it a million jaws fell open.
'It-it talks?!' Illidan breathed.
'Talks?!' Arthas coughed. 'It knows me!!!'
No one dared to move, as the giant, furry, bubble-gum pink hand freed itself and reached for the death knight. When he was being delicately pulled up, the king's voice bacame amazingly high-pitched, as he squeaked. Still no one around himmoved. Arthas struggled and groaned in the tight grip, but the Thing seemed not to notice and hugged him tighly. Kel'Thuzad moaned, as his master was pressed against the furry chest and hidden in both fists. Moans and groans were heard from there. Won't he lack air...?
Calia gazed at the Thing's face. 'I-I think I...'
Anub'arak and Kel'Thuzad gazed at her.
'I... recognise it now...'
The Big Hairy Thing exposed Arthas in its palm again. The king's face took quite a comical expression, as he tried to catch breath. He heard Calia shouting something, but understood nothing from the height. He saw his two leutainants stare at him in shick, fear and amusement. He clenched his teeth in fury. What a moment this creature has chosen to awake...!
'Put me down!' he yelled. 'Put me down, you damn imitation of a plushie-!!'
He paused, much to the surprise of others. A big audience he had, really. He covered his mouth in one hand and recalle the words he just said. The Thing mewed.
Then there was silence.
'Im... impossible...' Arthas mumbled.
While everyone kept quiet, Calia managed to shout loud enough for him to hear.
'Arthas, I recognise it!!'
The knights nerves were numb, yet he answered, quite quietly: 'So do I... So do I...'
The Big Hairy Thing didn't care about anything at all ans slowly pulled Arthas closer to lick him all over. The king noticed it and desperately sought for a way out of there, crowling to the edge of the huge palm. Fortuneatly, Kel'Thuzad also noticed the threat of a giant, hard tongue and in a second, a gargoyle grabbed the knight by his shoulders and brought him to the safe ground.
The Thing mewed in dissapointment.
'Th-thanks, Kel...' Arthas breathed.
Calia was still the pink creature. It sat down on the undead side of the canyon, crushing some of the slower troops.
'How could this be...?' she said into the air.
'I got no idea...' the death knight breathed 'but I don't like it at all...'
Suddenly, the leaders of the opposite side all flew to them on hippogryphs, Illidan using hos own wings. Some of the more consious skeletal archers aimed to shoot at them, but lowered their bows at one wave of the Frostmourne. The heroes disembarked right in front of the undead trio.
'Mind telling us what the hell is it?' Furion asked.
'Well...' Calia began, but Arthas gave her a sharp look. She silenced.
'You see,' the king began 'this... this thing is actually... you won't believe...'
'Spit it out!' Vashj ordered.
Arthas sighed. 'It's my old plushie.'
There was a short pause, in which everyone except him and his sister gathered themselves from the ground.
'Come again?' Illidan asked, clearing his ear.
'You heard me well.' the king answered flatly. 'This is the plush toy my father gave me for my fifth birthday.'
'He must've spent a lot of golf to buy you this.' Maiev commented.
'It wasn't this big!' Arthas sweatdropped. 'Something enlarged it and threw in a meteor... Ait it destroyed the Frozen Throne...'
He was greeted by several pairs of shocked eyes. He growled and took a step backwards, nearly falling over.
'Way the go, Death Knight.' Anub'arak said. 'Congratulate your big mouth.'
Arthas spent the next few minutes hitting himself on the head, despite Kel'Thuzad's protests, while the rest surveyed him with sharp and terrified looks. This was too much for one day.
Defineatly too much.
Due to that none spoke. The Throne was no more. The heart of the Scourge... Crushed by a meteor? This can't be... still...
'Wait a minute...' Illidan said, sort of coming out of a coma. 'This thing destoyed the Frozen Throne?'
Arthas nodded, defeated.
'So this means that...'
'Indeed.'
They all turned around, to where the voice came from. They were right.
Kil'jaeden.
'It's all my work.' he said, sounding proud of himself.
Calia raised her eyebrow. 'This?' she pointed at the Thing, which was now tightly hugging a hysterically yelling necromancer. Kil'jaeden nodded.
Illidan coughed. 'Why the bloody hell would such a demon like you give life to an enlarged plushie?'
'Why, it's simple.' the demon lord began to explain. 'You see, when you, Illidan, failed me,' he send him a sharp look, which the hunter fortuneatly could not see 'I decided to deal with things my own way.'
'By sending a toy?' Kel'thuzad asked.
'Exactly. I was sure that Arthas does not remember it, but I was hoping that his subconsiousness would prevent him from killing it. I raised its powers to be certain.'
Furion slightly shook his head. 'The most stupid idea I've ever heard... still a successful one.'
Kil'jaeden nodded, grinning proudly. He stood there just like that, while Calia turned to her undead brother. To her great surprise, Arthas was gazing at the cheerful Thing. His teeth and fists were clenched, and his eyes were... watering with tears?
He instantly turned around: 'WHAT DID YOU DO TO EDDY?!'
All the heroes sent him dumb looks. 'Eddy?'
Once more the knight hit himself on the head, biting his tongue at the same time.
'Yes, I remember now.' Jaina answered. 'I remember Arthas calling one of his teddy's Eddy, but I had no idea it's this one.'
Calia nodded in confirmation. Arthas pur himself together and continued shouting at Kil'jaeden. Illidan sighed and shook his head, waving for all his friends and allies to follow him. They left the demon to be yelled ay by the furious king, and the princess to stand behind sweatdropping. Not long after the Thing took some of undead warriors and departed in an unknown direction through the barren battlefield.
No one knows what has happened to Eddy. Any search initiated by Arthas has failed, so the king finally gave it all up. All the heroes and world leaders decided to forget about the incident that involved the Big Hairy Thing and concentrate on the unfinished war.
Now you can ask, who will win this war? What shall be the next moves of either sides? Will the Thing ever return? We will never know.
On the other hand... who cares?