Ashton: The Morning After

By, Miotis Kain

How long had I dreamed of holding him? How long had I wished that I could call him mine? Sometimes it seemed like I'd never known anything but him, had never wanted anyone else. Which wasn't true, I'd had plenty of love interests in my life – the most recent of which had been Precis.

It's just… He changed me.

I remember seeing him that first time in Lacour, in the Tournament of Arms. He entered the arena, calmly valiant and radiating an air of authority that even the king must have been forced to take notice. Strode through the crowd of fighters, paying them as much heed as the stones beneath his feet. I stood with Claude and watched him, like all the others – transfixed by the easy grace with which he carried his obvious power.

And then he stopped. And turned. He looked right at us. No. He looked at Claude. Their eyes met, a silent communication passing between them – a challenge, an encouragement.

He didn't even acknowledge me as Claude's companion. It was as though I didn't exist to him. And for some reason that hurt. More than the wounds I'd receive in the coming tournament. More than the taunts and jeers aimed at the dragons on my back. More than any rejection I'd ever been subjected to.

I didn't understand. Why did it matter to me? I didn't even know who he was. It never occurred to me that I was attracted to him. After all, I'd never found men appealing before.

I shrugged it off… At least, that's what I tried to do. But I couldn't ignore it. I couldn't get over how he had paid more attention to Claude than to me. It made me angry. No. It made me jealous.

And then the tournament began. And I saw.

His mastery of the sword was unparalleled. The matches were ended with such expedition, that it was obvious the final victory had been decided before the tournament had even begun.

I never got to fight him, I having been eliminated in the preliminaries by Ururun's careless practice of magic. I was crushed. I'd wanted the chance to be closer to him. But I lost, and – as far as I knew – my only chance to be near him had slipped through my fingers.

Life was so unfair.

I woke to the morning sun on my face, blinked into its gentle light before turning away. The memories of last night returned to my sleep-laden mind, and I felt a lazy smile creep onto my face. A part of me still couldn't believe that it had actually happened, still thought that it was some elaborate conjuration of my imagination.

But it wasn't a dream. It had happened. The strong, warm body on which mine rested was proof of that. So was the ache in my muscles. But the pain was nothing; my heart was so filled with joy I thought it must surely break.

Dias was mine.

Dias loved me.

What I had done to deserve such happiness, I didn't know. He was so perfect. There was no doubt in my mind he could have anyone he wanted. Why he would choose a freak like me was a mystery I couldn't comprehend.

I kissed the elegant curve of his neck, nuzzled my face into the delicious scent of his skin. I was gifted with his arms tightening around me. "Mm," I hummed. "Morning." A shifting of weight on my back informed me that Gyoro and Ururun were awake as well. Absently, I reached behind me and scratched them both in turn.

"How do you feel?" I heard Dias ask.

"Wonderful," I told him.

"Do you have any regrets?"

"What do you mean?"

"About last night… About us." I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

Something inside me went cold. Was last night just a fluke? Some strange impulse that had come over him? Oh God! I was such a fool! I should have known better. No one would want an abomination like me.

"Because," he continued, "if you really don't want me… I'll understand."

I blanched. What?! If I didn't want him?! I looked at him then, met his eyes. The fear I saw in them broke my heart. He was truly terrified that I would reject him. My vision blurred as my eyes filled with tears. "Dias… I would never turn you away." I said it to him, remembering that he had comforted me with those very words last night. And I meant it. If he really wanted me, then I would never give him up. "I'd rather die than lose you."

A single tear ran down his face – a symbol of relief, and of the love he truly held for me. Pulling myself up, I kissed it away. "I'm never letting you go."