The ride to my work place was a quiet one. I wasn't complaining, in fact I
was thankful as my mind was too occupied for me to do something else, even
talk.
"Tsukushi."Rui's gentle voice pulled me from my reverie and I tore myself from the window and looked at him.
The instant I looked into his eyes, I regretted it. As usual, he read me like an open book.
"I don't understand.sometimes he acts like the old Tsukasa and sometimes it's like looking at someone new.he makes me so confused."I blurted out, looking down sadly at my hands.
"Give him time.maybe he'll remember."Rui tried to reason with me but I shook my head.
"If he was to remember.he would have 2 months ago. He remembered you, he remembered Akira and Soujiro. He even remembered Yuki.what I can't understand is how he can't remember me." I told him bitterly.
I hate it when Rui manage to not say anything and make me lay my life out for him in the open. But on the other hand, I always felt better after talking to him. He was my rock, my strength and most of all my guardian angel. Without him, I sometimes wonder where I would be by now.
At the corner of my eyes, I saw his long graceful fingers reached out for mine and clasped onto them, making me feel slightly better.
"At least he has now accepted you as a friend."He attempted to reassure me but I knew better.
"I know.at least being friends with him is better than being his enemy."I gave him a weak smile.
"It's just that.when I decided to let go, he does something that only the old Tsukasa will.and then.he'll go do something so unlike Tsukasa." I frowned and looked at Rui. "Do you know what I mean? I don't even know what I'm saying.forget it."I said confusing myself with my own words.
"I understand what you mean Tsukushi.I always do."he squeezed my hands and once again, I felt calmness overcoming me.
"Remember what I told you Rui?" I asked him and he nodded.
"I'm giving up.I'm letting him go.I need to move on with my life.our love was a mistake from the beginning. Just look at all the troubles and pain we had to overcome from the very beginning. Now, is the final blow. I do not have the strength anymore to fight fate. I need peace in my life now.I want to work and support myself.I want to live a life without anymore worries and tears." I said adamantly while Rui just looked at me keeping quiet.
"I always imagined love to be something calm and peaceful, romantic and blissful. But with Tsukasa it was like experiencing a hurricane and then a tornado and then an earthquake."
"I have cried enough tears for Tsukasa and had let my heart bled for him. I think it's time for me to stop and accept him for who he is right now and be his friend."
Unconsciously, I was gripping Rui's hands tightly and noticed it when I was done voicing out my opinion. It was only when I looked down and saw the red marks I left on his hands I let go.
"Sorry."I muttered and he smiled. "Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you?" I scolded softly.
"The pain I feel on my hands isn't as painful as the pain you feel in here."he said pointing to my heart.
"Thank you Rui.for always being there for me."
"I told you before.I'll always protect you and be here for you." the words he said suddenly broke open a dam in me and tears started to flow out.
"Silly girl.I thought you said you are done with crying."he gently wiped away my tears with his fingers.
He didn't know that this time my tears weren't for Tsukasa but for him. Hanazawa Rui had been my first love. Sometimes I wonder, if it wasn't for Tsukasa, would my friendship with Rui blossom into something deeper? But then again, Tsukasa thought me how to love and what sacrifice was all about. Day by day, Tsukasa managed to wiggle his way into my heart, claiming almost a big portion of it. It was then I began to fall helplessly in love with him. I fell in love with his childish ways, his own sweetness and the way he showed his love for me. If only fate didn't play its cruel trick on us.
Akira and Soujiro once told me, wouldn't it be better if I had just gone with Rui. I have to admit, there were nights where I lay on my bed pondering about that. Being with Rui would be different. It would definitely be more peaceful. But I do not regret being with Tsukasa. Not even for a minute, not even for a second.
I know that somewhere inside Rui, he cared deeply for me like how he used to care for Shizuka. I watched him chase after his love, only to come back heartbroken. But by then, I was already with Tsukasa and there was nothing I could do. Except give him my support as a friend.
Hanazawa Rui.you don't know this but that special place you held in my heart will always be yours no matter what.
"Tsukushi."Rui waved his hands in front of my face.
"Huh?" I looked at him and he pointed to something behind me.
"We're here."he told me with a slightly amused look.
I turned to look and realized we've reached my work place. I glanced at my watch and I almost had a heart attack. I WAS LATE!
"Darn!" I started to gather my bags and quickly hopped out of the car and started to dash into the shop to avoid any further trouble I was already in with my manager.
"Tsukushi!" Rui called my name and I turned to look at him annoyed for slowing me down.
"You forgot this."He was holding a bag of clothes in one hand and I hastily grabbed it from him and rushed in.
"Makino Tsukushi! Where have you been!" A shrill voice filled the shop as I stepped in. I cringed slightly and then quickly plastered on my most apologetic look.
"Sorry Ms.Akio." I bowed down slightly and heard her harrumphed loudly.
"One more time and that's it..you're always late.where's the clothes?" She demanded and I held out the bags to her.
"Go arrange it on the shelves." She turned around and walked away not noticing that I stuck my tongue out at her.
I was actually lucky to get a job in this boutique. Finding a job which paid this high was rare these days with the economic being so poor. I definitely can't afford to loose this job as it paid for my rent. I sighed and quickly went to work. Domyouji Tsukasa and Hanazawa Rui pushed to the back of my mind.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Hmm...I hope you guys caught my hint earlier on. Remember how Tsukasa wasn't the one who grabbed Tsukushi's hand but it was Rui? And...how Soujiro and Akira teased Tsukushi and Tsukasa didn't bother to stand up for her? How he didn't talk much to her and fuss over her like before? Well...i don't know where the story will lead...nor do i know who she'll end up with...we'll see as time goes on... Thanks for giving comments!!!")
"Tsukushi."Rui's gentle voice pulled me from my reverie and I tore myself from the window and looked at him.
The instant I looked into his eyes, I regretted it. As usual, he read me like an open book.
"I don't understand.sometimes he acts like the old Tsukasa and sometimes it's like looking at someone new.he makes me so confused."I blurted out, looking down sadly at my hands.
"Give him time.maybe he'll remember."Rui tried to reason with me but I shook my head.
"If he was to remember.he would have 2 months ago. He remembered you, he remembered Akira and Soujiro. He even remembered Yuki.what I can't understand is how he can't remember me." I told him bitterly.
I hate it when Rui manage to not say anything and make me lay my life out for him in the open. But on the other hand, I always felt better after talking to him. He was my rock, my strength and most of all my guardian angel. Without him, I sometimes wonder where I would be by now.
At the corner of my eyes, I saw his long graceful fingers reached out for mine and clasped onto them, making me feel slightly better.
"At least he has now accepted you as a friend."He attempted to reassure me but I knew better.
"I know.at least being friends with him is better than being his enemy."I gave him a weak smile.
"It's just that.when I decided to let go, he does something that only the old Tsukasa will.and then.he'll go do something so unlike Tsukasa." I frowned and looked at Rui. "Do you know what I mean? I don't even know what I'm saying.forget it."I said confusing myself with my own words.
"I understand what you mean Tsukushi.I always do."he squeezed my hands and once again, I felt calmness overcoming me.
"Remember what I told you Rui?" I asked him and he nodded.
"I'm giving up.I'm letting him go.I need to move on with my life.our love was a mistake from the beginning. Just look at all the troubles and pain we had to overcome from the very beginning. Now, is the final blow. I do not have the strength anymore to fight fate. I need peace in my life now.I want to work and support myself.I want to live a life without anymore worries and tears." I said adamantly while Rui just looked at me keeping quiet.
"I always imagined love to be something calm and peaceful, romantic and blissful. But with Tsukasa it was like experiencing a hurricane and then a tornado and then an earthquake."
"I have cried enough tears for Tsukasa and had let my heart bled for him. I think it's time for me to stop and accept him for who he is right now and be his friend."
Unconsciously, I was gripping Rui's hands tightly and noticed it when I was done voicing out my opinion. It was only when I looked down and saw the red marks I left on his hands I let go.
"Sorry."I muttered and he smiled. "Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you?" I scolded softly.
"The pain I feel on my hands isn't as painful as the pain you feel in here."he said pointing to my heart.
"Thank you Rui.for always being there for me."
"I told you before.I'll always protect you and be here for you." the words he said suddenly broke open a dam in me and tears started to flow out.
"Silly girl.I thought you said you are done with crying."he gently wiped away my tears with his fingers.
He didn't know that this time my tears weren't for Tsukasa but for him. Hanazawa Rui had been my first love. Sometimes I wonder, if it wasn't for Tsukasa, would my friendship with Rui blossom into something deeper? But then again, Tsukasa thought me how to love and what sacrifice was all about. Day by day, Tsukasa managed to wiggle his way into my heart, claiming almost a big portion of it. It was then I began to fall helplessly in love with him. I fell in love with his childish ways, his own sweetness and the way he showed his love for me. If only fate didn't play its cruel trick on us.
Akira and Soujiro once told me, wouldn't it be better if I had just gone with Rui. I have to admit, there were nights where I lay on my bed pondering about that. Being with Rui would be different. It would definitely be more peaceful. But I do not regret being with Tsukasa. Not even for a minute, not even for a second.
I know that somewhere inside Rui, he cared deeply for me like how he used to care for Shizuka. I watched him chase after his love, only to come back heartbroken. But by then, I was already with Tsukasa and there was nothing I could do. Except give him my support as a friend.
Hanazawa Rui.you don't know this but that special place you held in my heart will always be yours no matter what.
"Tsukushi."Rui waved his hands in front of my face.
"Huh?" I looked at him and he pointed to something behind me.
"We're here."he told me with a slightly amused look.
I turned to look and realized we've reached my work place. I glanced at my watch and I almost had a heart attack. I WAS LATE!
"Darn!" I started to gather my bags and quickly hopped out of the car and started to dash into the shop to avoid any further trouble I was already in with my manager.
"Tsukushi!" Rui called my name and I turned to look at him annoyed for slowing me down.
"You forgot this."He was holding a bag of clothes in one hand and I hastily grabbed it from him and rushed in.
"Makino Tsukushi! Where have you been!" A shrill voice filled the shop as I stepped in. I cringed slightly and then quickly plastered on my most apologetic look.
"Sorry Ms.Akio." I bowed down slightly and heard her harrumphed loudly.
"One more time and that's it..you're always late.where's the clothes?" She demanded and I held out the bags to her.
"Go arrange it on the shelves." She turned around and walked away not noticing that I stuck my tongue out at her.
I was actually lucky to get a job in this boutique. Finding a job which paid this high was rare these days with the economic being so poor. I definitely can't afford to loose this job as it paid for my rent. I sighed and quickly went to work. Domyouji Tsukasa and Hanazawa Rui pushed to the back of my mind.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Hmm...I hope you guys caught my hint earlier on. Remember how Tsukasa wasn't the one who grabbed Tsukushi's hand but it was Rui? And...how Soujiro and Akira teased Tsukushi and Tsukasa didn't bother to stand up for her? How he didn't talk much to her and fuss over her like before? Well...i don't know where the story will lead...nor do i know who she'll end up with...we'll see as time goes on... Thanks for giving comments!!!")