For the next few weeks, I buried myself in work with a vengeance. Even
Ms.Akio couldn't find any fault or reason to yell at me. I came to work on
time, took double shifts, clean the place from top to bottom and arrange
all the stocks and shelved it, I left late and didn't take any off days. I
only went home to sleep and then get up early and rush off to work.
Basically, I haven't heard from F4 since the day I found out about Tsukasa's engagement. Soujiro and Akira have been trying to contact me but I always came up with some excuse that I was busy. I deliberately switched off my hand phone when I was home so I wouldn't have to receive any phone calls. Rui had shown up at my work place a couple of times but I told him I was really busy and he would leave for awhile only to come back with a bento box for me and quietly leave again. He would do this everyday. He'll come, leave a bento box and then like the wind; he'll leave without saying a word.
I know I'm avoiding the three of them because I didn't want to hear anything about Tsukasa's engagement. But who am I kidding; the engagement was the most publicized thing at the moment. Whichever TV channel I switched too, there it was, Tsukasa's and Okiwahara Shigeru's engagement staring right back at me. Whenever I flipped through a magazine or newspaper, there they were again, back to haunt me.
The first few days was bad, I felt as if the whole world was crashing down on me and all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. Memories of Tsukasa and I were the main players on my mind, then I remembered the conversation I had with Rui in the car and after 4 days of crying and self pity, I picked myself up and brushed off those tears.
I locked up the shop as usual and got ready to go home. Stepping out from the shop, I found myself face to face with Rui.
"Rui! What are you doing here?" I asked in surprise.
He shrugged and gave me a small smile. "I came to pick you up." He answered simply.
"It's alright, I can take the bus." I pointed to the bus stop but he didn't stop looking at me.
"Accompany me for dinner?" The way he said it was more like a statement instead of a question.
I contemplated for a moment. If I went with him, I had to face reality, but how long can I run from it? Finally, I nodded and followed him to his car.
As usual, the car ride was a quiet event. We reached a quaint but cozy little restaurant with very few people. Very unlike the restaurants F4 and I used to visit.
"I stumbled across this restaurant a few days ago.the food here isn't too flash but its tasty."Rui said as if he read my thoughts. He led me to a quiet little table at the corner of the restaurant and we sat down. The waiter came and Rui gave him our orders before disappearing behind the kitchen doors.
"You look tired."Rui stated, with concern in his eyes.
I looked down at the candle which was flickering and kept quiet.
"Thank you for the bento box."
Rui sighed softly and leaned back against his chair. "You always took care of everyone; it's time for someone to take care of you."
I glanced up at him and I knew he could know what was going on inside me. He always could.
"Tsukushi, don't you think it's time for you to face reality? You've been avoiding us like the plaque. Sooner or later you."
"I know alright Rui, I know." I cut him off mid sentence. "For once I just wanted to be Makino Tsukushi. Not the Tsukushi that everyone sees as strong and independent. I'm human too. .I have feelings."I told him, tears threatening to spill.
Rui reached out and took one of my hands which were clutching the glass of water tightly. "That's why I'm here Tsukushi."he told me, looking me in the eyes. "I'll always be here for you, to be your strength when you're weak and to wipe away those tears."
"I'm just so sick and tired of always having my heartbroken Rui. I'm sick and tired of being sad, I'm sick and tired of crying and I'm sick and tired of living this life.."I told him frustrated.
"Then let's go on a holiday."
The way he said it made it sound so simple and I gave him a bitter laugh. But he was having a serious expression on his face.
"Are you serious?" I asked and he nodded. "Even if I want to, I don't have the money and as I said before, I can't afford to loose my job."
"My family has a holiday home up North, its really beautiful, come take a break with me. A week or two won't make you loose your job. The way you've been working for the past few weeks would make up for it." Rui pointed out.
Honestly, I was almost 85% convinced. The bigger part of me wants to throw everything away and just take a break but the other part, which was what I called my responsibility side just can't seem to let it go. The waiter arrived with our food and I was secretly thankful that I didn't have to answer Rui.
The minute I placed my spaghetti in my mouth, I realized how long it was before I actually had a proper meal. It tasted so good and I closed my eyes to savor the rich taste of the carbonara sauce in my mouth.
"Here, try this."Rui said when I opened my eyes again and placed almost half his portion of pasta on my plate. It would consider a big sacrifice for him, a food lover to actually give me half his food. The Rui I knew would never share his food with anyone. Period.
"Why do you always have to be so nice to me?" I asked him suddenly, placing my fork down.
I saw a flicker of emotions in his eyes but it was gone as quick as it came making me think I was imagining, but I was sure it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. Rui stared at me for a long time when he finally answered me.
"Because Tsukushi, people like me also have someone they want to care and protect."
A simple statement, but it made melted my heart and that was all it took to make me cry again.
Rui looked up when he saw me sniffling and placed his fork and spoon down. "The last thing I want for you is to cry Tsukushi." He said, taking his napkin reached over to wipe away my tears. "For once, I would like to see your smile again."
I tried to give him a smile, but I couldn't. "I'm sorry." I whispered, looking down at my half eaten food.
He kept quiet for a long time, as if reading my mind or trying to give me time to calm down. "Come on, eat up. .after this, I want to take you somewhere." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Basically, I haven't heard from F4 since the day I found out about Tsukasa's engagement. Soujiro and Akira have been trying to contact me but I always came up with some excuse that I was busy. I deliberately switched off my hand phone when I was home so I wouldn't have to receive any phone calls. Rui had shown up at my work place a couple of times but I told him I was really busy and he would leave for awhile only to come back with a bento box for me and quietly leave again. He would do this everyday. He'll come, leave a bento box and then like the wind; he'll leave without saying a word.
I know I'm avoiding the three of them because I didn't want to hear anything about Tsukasa's engagement. But who am I kidding; the engagement was the most publicized thing at the moment. Whichever TV channel I switched too, there it was, Tsukasa's and Okiwahara Shigeru's engagement staring right back at me. Whenever I flipped through a magazine or newspaper, there they were again, back to haunt me.
The first few days was bad, I felt as if the whole world was crashing down on me and all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. Memories of Tsukasa and I were the main players on my mind, then I remembered the conversation I had with Rui in the car and after 4 days of crying and self pity, I picked myself up and brushed off those tears.
I locked up the shop as usual and got ready to go home. Stepping out from the shop, I found myself face to face with Rui.
"Rui! What are you doing here?" I asked in surprise.
He shrugged and gave me a small smile. "I came to pick you up." He answered simply.
"It's alright, I can take the bus." I pointed to the bus stop but he didn't stop looking at me.
"Accompany me for dinner?" The way he said it was more like a statement instead of a question.
I contemplated for a moment. If I went with him, I had to face reality, but how long can I run from it? Finally, I nodded and followed him to his car.
As usual, the car ride was a quiet event. We reached a quaint but cozy little restaurant with very few people. Very unlike the restaurants F4 and I used to visit.
"I stumbled across this restaurant a few days ago.the food here isn't too flash but its tasty."Rui said as if he read my thoughts. He led me to a quiet little table at the corner of the restaurant and we sat down. The waiter came and Rui gave him our orders before disappearing behind the kitchen doors.
"You look tired."Rui stated, with concern in his eyes.
I looked down at the candle which was flickering and kept quiet.
"Thank you for the bento box."
Rui sighed softly and leaned back against his chair. "You always took care of everyone; it's time for someone to take care of you."
I glanced up at him and I knew he could know what was going on inside me. He always could.
"Tsukushi, don't you think it's time for you to face reality? You've been avoiding us like the plaque. Sooner or later you."
"I know alright Rui, I know." I cut him off mid sentence. "For once I just wanted to be Makino Tsukushi. Not the Tsukushi that everyone sees as strong and independent. I'm human too. .I have feelings."I told him, tears threatening to spill.
Rui reached out and took one of my hands which were clutching the glass of water tightly. "That's why I'm here Tsukushi."he told me, looking me in the eyes. "I'll always be here for you, to be your strength when you're weak and to wipe away those tears."
"I'm just so sick and tired of always having my heartbroken Rui. I'm sick and tired of being sad, I'm sick and tired of crying and I'm sick and tired of living this life.."I told him frustrated.
"Then let's go on a holiday."
The way he said it made it sound so simple and I gave him a bitter laugh. But he was having a serious expression on his face.
"Are you serious?" I asked and he nodded. "Even if I want to, I don't have the money and as I said before, I can't afford to loose my job."
"My family has a holiday home up North, its really beautiful, come take a break with me. A week or two won't make you loose your job. The way you've been working for the past few weeks would make up for it." Rui pointed out.
Honestly, I was almost 85% convinced. The bigger part of me wants to throw everything away and just take a break but the other part, which was what I called my responsibility side just can't seem to let it go. The waiter arrived with our food and I was secretly thankful that I didn't have to answer Rui.
The minute I placed my spaghetti in my mouth, I realized how long it was before I actually had a proper meal. It tasted so good and I closed my eyes to savor the rich taste of the carbonara sauce in my mouth.
"Here, try this."Rui said when I opened my eyes again and placed almost half his portion of pasta on my plate. It would consider a big sacrifice for him, a food lover to actually give me half his food. The Rui I knew would never share his food with anyone. Period.
"Why do you always have to be so nice to me?" I asked him suddenly, placing my fork down.
I saw a flicker of emotions in his eyes but it was gone as quick as it came making me think I was imagining, but I was sure it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. Rui stared at me for a long time when he finally answered me.
"Because Tsukushi, people like me also have someone they want to care and protect."
A simple statement, but it made melted my heart and that was all it took to make me cry again.
Rui looked up when he saw me sniffling and placed his fork and spoon down. "The last thing I want for you is to cry Tsukushi." He said, taking his napkin reached over to wipe away my tears. "For once, I would like to see your smile again."
I tried to give him a smile, but I couldn't. "I'm sorry." I whispered, looking down at my half eaten food.
He kept quiet for a long time, as if reading my mind or trying to give me time to calm down. "Come on, eat up. .after this, I want to take you somewhere." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------